Archive for the ‘Children Humor’ Category
Friday, July 11th, 2014
“Entrepreneur Barbie!” Are They Toying With Us?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The new Barbie’s an “Entrepreneur.”
Mattel claims it’s intended to spur
Young girls to create
Their own bus’ness. But wait!
Why the form-fitting hot-pink couture?
I’m NOT making this up! “Entrepreneur Barbie,” from Mattel Canada, supposedly takes aim at the glass ceiling. Alas, it clearly misses:
It’s unclear by her garb what company she runs; instead of a power suit, she sports a form-fitting, hot pink sleeveless dress, and her briefcase looks more like a designer purse. The only hint that this doll means business are her tiny tablet and smartphone accessories.
Tags: Barbie Doll Humor, Business Humor, Children Limerick, Doll Humor, Entrepreneur Barbie, Feminism Humor, Mattel Canada, Toys Humor, Young Girls
Posted in Business Humor, Canada, Children Humor, Feminist Satire, Limericks, Workplace & Career Humor | 9 Comments »
Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
When I was a child, I hated the words “just because,” a favorite parental “explanation.” And yet there’s a “Just Because Day,” celebrated on August 27th by people who look at those words rather differently.
I Wrote This Limerick “Just Because”
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The parental retort,”Just because,”
Is a stale and inadequate clause.
Moms might just as well say
“It’s the law, so obey!”
Or, hemmed in, just try hemming and haws.
Tags: Child Humor, Children, Just Because Day, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor, Parents
Posted in Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays | 10 Comments »
Tuesday, May 7th, 2013
This feels vaguely appropriate for Mother’s Day:
Freelance Mothering (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Be it newspapers, Web, magazines,
Mistakes are in print and on screens:
Though I’ve NO kids to nag,
I once learned in a mag:
I’m the very proud mother of teens.
True story: Many years ago I wrote several freelance humor columns for Family Circle Magazine, one of which was a “humorous contract” between parents and their teen about learning to drive.
I’ll never forget standing on a long line at the supermarket and spotting the issue I was scheduled to appear in, near the cash register. I grabbed the magazine, turned to the back page and excitedly started to read.
Everything look great … until I got to the bio note, which should have read: “Madeleine Begun Kane is a New York-based freelance humor columnist and lawyer.”
Instead, it read, “Madeleine Begun Kane is the mother of teens.”
And no, I do NOT have any children … unless, of course, you count my hubby Mark.
Tags: Children Humor, Freelance Writing, Media Limerick, Mother's Day Limericks, Mothering Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor, Print Magazines, Teens, Writing & Publishing Humor
Posted in Car & Driving Humor, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limericks, Media Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Writing & Publishing Humor | Comments Off on Freelance Mothering
Friday, April 12th, 2013
Computers and spell-check have been turning spelling prowess into a quaint art. So it’s no wonder that the people behind the 2013 Scripps National Spelling Bee have upped the ante, now requiring competitors to actually know what the words they’re spelling mean.
Needless to say, this is controversial. And although I think the idea’s a good one, I sympathize with the contestants. Why? Because the change is rather last minute. The contest starts this May 28th, and the change was announced just a couple of days ago, on April 9th.
It’s the very definition of I-N-I-Q-U-I-T-O-U-S.
Spellbinding Changes (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
They’re making the Spelling Bee tougher–
Decidedly meaner and rougher:
It’s no longer enough
To learn spelling of stuff–
Master meanings, or rankings shall suffer.
Tags: Children Humor, Competition Limerick, Education & School Humor, Scripps National Spelling Bee, Spell-Check, Spelling, Spelling Bee Humor, Spelling Contests, Teachers
Posted in Children Humor, Contests, Education & School Humor, Limericks | 7 Comments »
Sunday, November 25th, 2012
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A woman who wasn’t too bright…*
or
A fellow who wasn’t too bright…*
*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)
Here’s my limerick:
Bright Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman who wasn’t too bright
Met a fellow who wasn’t quite “right.”
They wed, had a kid—
High IQ — off the grid.
Please don’t ask “Who’s the dad?”— Impolite!
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Tags: Children Humor, Competition Limerick, Intelligence, IQ Humor, Limerick Challenge, Limerick Contest, Marriage Limerick, Moms & Dads Limerick, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Parenting Humor, Parents, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Children Humor, Contests, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Competition, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 97 Comments »
Wednesday, October 31st, 2012
Though schools remain closed,
trick-or-treat stash is untouched:
Halloween Sandy.
*****
Hurricane Sandy
sure outpaces Halloween
in sheer spookiness.
Tags: Candy Humor, Children Humor, Food Verse, Haiku & Senryu, Halloween Humor, Hurricane Sandy, New York Weather, October Holidays, Trick-or-Treat, Weather Poem
Posted in Children Humor, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Weather Humor | 2 Comments »
Thursday, June 14th, 2012
One Father’s Day Limerick Too Many?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A pregnant young woman named Kay
Was due to give birth the next day.
So it wasn’t sublime
When her spouse picked that time
To confess that he really was gay.
Tags: Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Father's Day Humor, Gay Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, June Holidays, Marital Relationships, Parenting Humor, Pregnancy Humor
Posted in Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Limericks, Marriage Humor | 5 Comments »
Tuesday, December 27th, 2011
Toys “R” Us seems to be selling some potty-mouthed dolls:
Pauline Davis bought some last minute presents for her grandchildren Christmas Eve, but when she brought three talking dolls back to her Oaklyn, N.J. home, she got a rude surprise.
The dolls giggle, coo, and then say something that sounds exactly like, “OK, crazy bitch.”
The three dolls called “You and Me Play and Giggle Triplets” are made just for the Toys “R” Us brand, and Toys “R” Us is sticking by its alleged potty-mouthed pixies.
Potty-Mouthed Dolls — I’m Not Toying With You (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Toys “R” Us has encountered a hitch
In its baby doll sales and it’s rich.
They should babble and burble,
But these dolls are verbal:
They exclaim loud and clear “Crazy Bitch.”
Tags: Children Humor, Christmas Gift Humor, Shopping Humor, Shopping Verse, Stores Limerick, Swearing Verse, Talking Dolls, Toys "R" Us, Toys Humor
Posted in Children Humor, Gift Giving Humor, Limericks, Shopping Humor | 2 Comments »
Sunday, November 27th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow whose last dime was spent…
or
A woman whose last dime was spent…
Here’s mine:
Spent Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow whose last dime was spent
On a gal below age of consent
Did nothing illicit,
Though mom was complicit:
‘Twas a “sweet sixteen” birthday event.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Age Of Consent, Birthday Limerick, Money & Finance Humor, Money Verse, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Sweet Sixteen Party, Writing Prompts
Posted in Bawdy Limericks, Birthday Verse, Celebrations Poetry, Children Humor, Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Contest, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 75 Comments »
Sunday, November 20th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A man was attempting to eat…
or
A gal was attempting to eat…
Here’s mine, which I hope doesn’t describe your Thanksgiving dinner:
Edible Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A man was attempting to eat
When he spotted a mouse near his seat.
So he smashed down his foot,
And the mouse went kaput,
As his kid cried, “You killed little Pete!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Children Limerick, Food Humor, Food Verse, Mice Humor, Parenting Humor, Pets Verse, Poetry & Prompts, Thanksgiving, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Children Humor, Contests, Food & Drink Humor, Holiday Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts, Poetry Contest, Relationship Humor | 72 Comments »
Sunday, September 4th, 2011
It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)
I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A fellow was trying to dine…
or
A woman was trying to dine…
Here’s mine:
Dining On Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A fellow was trying to dine,
When a teenager started to whine.
Then a baby chimed in —
Spoiled his steak. What a sin!
So he yelled, “Damn those children of mine!”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!
Tags: Children Limerick, Food Verse, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Restaurant Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Children Humor, Contests, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Food & Drink Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick Writing Contest, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Poetry & Prompts | 75 Comments »
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011
As I’ve mentioned before, I enjoy the challenge of writing acrostic limericks. But I found the latest acrostic limerick prompt from Acrostic Only to be tougher than usual. Here’s what I came up with:
One Headache of an Acrostic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Pleasant dreams are quite hard to secure
On nights when you have to endure
Unspeakable noise:
Next door neighbors with boys,
Deaf’ning dogs, and the parents on tour.
Tags: Acrostic Poems, Animals Poetry, Badly Behaved Children, Child Humor, Dogs Verse, Headaches Humor, Insomnia Verse, Noise Humor, Noisy Neighbors, Pets Verse, Sleep Poetry
Posted in Acrostic Limericks, Animal & Pet Humor, Anxiety & Stress, Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, House & Home Humor, Limericks, Neighbors Humor, Sleep & Insomnia Humor | 25 Comments »
Tuesday, May 17th, 2011
I found myself a new serendipitous oxymoron at the prompt generator I played with yesterday. So the subject of today’s limerick is an Adorable Tyrant:
An Adorable Tyrant (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
An “adorable tyrant?” Sounds wild!
A strange combo of mean and the mild.
I might even buy tix
To see such a mix,
Unless it’s a three-year-old child.
Tags: Children Humor, Oxymorons, Serendipity, Tyrant Humor, Writing Fix, Writing Prompts
Posted in Children Humor, Limericks, Oxymoron Humor | 21 Comments »
Sunday, October 31st, 2010
Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A frazzled new father named Jim…
Here’s mine:
Frazzled Limerick (Frazzled Limerick Audio)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A frazzled new father named Jim
Bought his baby toy trains on a whim.
When his wife saw the gift,
She was terribly miffed,
So she yelled, “That’s for you. What’s for him?”
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!
Update: May 2 is Baby Day.
Tags: Baby Day, Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Husband Wife Limerick, Marriage Verse, May Holidays, Model Trains Humor, Odd Holidays, Parenting Humor, Poetry & Prompts, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Behavior & Personality, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Odd Holidays, Poetry & Prompts | 19 Comments »
Sunday, April 25th, 2010
I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:
A wealthy old woman named Kate…
Here’s mine:
A Dog Of A Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A wealthy old woman named Kate
Left her dog an enormous estate.
Her children all stewed
Till they finally sued.
Who won? Well, each lawyer did great.
Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.
Tags: Children Humor, Dog Verse, Estate Limerick, Inheritance Humor, Lawyers, Litigation Humor, Money Poems, Parental Humor, Pet Owners, Poetry & Prompts, Wealth, Writing Prompts
Posted in Animal & Pet Humor, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Legal & Lawyer Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Money & Finance Humor, Mothers & Fathers Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 26 Comments »
Thursday, June 18th, 2009
Empty Nest (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A woman was feeling depressed.
(Her syndrome is called “empty nest.”)
Her home was too calm.
She missed being a mom—
Though her spouse “helped” by being a pest.
Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.
Tags: Depression, Empty Nest Syndrome, Family, House & Home, Husbands, Limericks, Mental Health, Parenting, Writing Prompts
Posted in Anxiety & Stress, Battle of the Sexes, Children Humor, Family & Relatives Humor, Family Verse, Health & Medical Humor, Health Verse, House & Home Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limerick-Offs, Limericks, Marriage Humor, Mental Health Humor | 19 Comments »
Friday, March 13th, 2009
I’ve heard some bad violinists in my day … especially back when I substitute-taught elementary school music classes. But amazingly enough, this robot violinist (while lousy, of course) is better than your average fifth grade violin student.
In honor of the robot violinist, I’ve written a double limerick:
A Robot Violinist That Plays Better Than Your Kid?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Fanatics may think it’s a sin
For a robot to play violin.
But its tone ain’t as bad
As some students I’ve had.
In a contest with them, it would win.
Yes it’s weak in vibrato and phrasing.
But its rhythm and pitch are amazing.
So you’re robot averse —
I’m still sure you’ve heard worse.
And if not, I shall brace for the hazing.
Tags: Children, Computers, Elementary School, Music, Music Students, Phrasing, Robot Musicians, Robots, Science, String Players, Substitute Teaching, Technology, Vibrato, Violinist
Posted in Children Humor, Computer Humor, Education & School Humor, Limericks, Music Humor & Verse, Robot Humor, Science Humor, Technology Humor | 6 Comments »
Friday, March 7th, 2008
Today’s limerick and haiku theme is age and/or life stages. First, my limerick:
“Let’s begin at the top of the page,”
Said the coach to the gals on the stage.
“You’re supposed to be teens.
You should know what that means.
So I’m begging you—please—act your age.”
And here’s my haiku:
Cranky digestion
Recalcitrant intestines
Aging wastefully.
Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about age and/or life stages. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.
(If you need some tips on limerick or haiku writing, I link to some helpful sites here.)
Tags: Acting Limerick, Aging, Digestion Humor, Teens, Theater Humor, Theatre Humor, Writing Prompts
Posted in Aging Humor & Verse, Children Humor, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Movie & Play Humor, Poetry & Prompts | 7 Comments »
Friday, February 15th, 2008
Today’s limerick and haiku theme is bad jobs. Why? Because everyone I know has had at least one really awful job. As for me, I’ve had more bad jobs than I’d care to remember. So here’s a pair of poems about two of them. First, my limerick about substitute teaching:
In my twenties I substitute taught.
‘Tis a challenging job and it’s fraught;
All those calls before dawn
To instruct devil’s spawn
Made me anxious, uptight—overwrought.
And now, my haiku about working in a discount department store:
Discount lingerie:
Folded, painstakingly shelved.
Soon to be litter.
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write a limerick or haiku (or both) about bad jobs. When you’ve posted your verse, please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry.
Tags: Bad Jobs, Department Store, Discount Lingerie, Education Limerick, Employment Humor, Job Limerick, School Humor, Shoppers, Substitute Teaching
Posted in Children Humor, Education & School Humor, Haiku & Senryu, Limerick & Haiku Prompts, Limericks, Shopping Humor, Workplace & Career Humor | 13 Comments »
