“Chef, your food has a terrible taste!
Take it back! You prepared it in haste,”
Griped a large, nasty man.
The reply, said deadpan:
“Well at least it won’t go to your waist.”
Posts Tagged ‘Food Verse’
The Dissatisfied Patron (Limerick)
Sunday, October 22nd, 2023Hot For Hot Cuisine (Limerick)
Monday, February 6th, 2023When I first had “hot” food, I went wild.
(The cuisine I’d grown up with was mild.)
From then on, I sought “spicy
And hot,” which is dicey.
Ask a “French chef” for zesty? He’s riled!
Half-Baked Limerick
Friday, September 30th, 2022A baker was well on his way
To a lifetime of waste and decay,
When he met a cute gal
Who said, “Listen up pal!
Straighten out, or no rolls in the hay.”
(September 30 is National Bakery Day.)
Eat A Banana? Nah! (Limerick)
Saturday, September 10th, 2022It’s “Banana Day,” giving me a great excuse to bitch about bananas. (It’s lucky that Mark and I like them at different stages of ripeness. Otherwise, they’d all end up tossed into the garbage.)
“You should eat that banana today,”
Says Mark. “Ugh, it’s TOO ripe,” I say.
“It peaked overnight.
Now it’s yours. Have a bite!
It’s perfect for you; old and gray.”
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: Aug. 20, 2022)
Saturday, July 23rd, 2022It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to BARS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best BARS-related limerick.
And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.
Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: SHOP, RUN, NEWS, WARNING, FIRST.
(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on August 21, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 20, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my STEAK or STAKE or MISTAKE-rhyme limerick:
A man who was rather a flake
Would beef about folks eating steak:
“When you chew, cows can feel it,”
He’d hiss. “As for veal, it
Is worse, so I cotton to snake.”
And here’s my BARS-themed limerick:
A pub owner often stole cars,
Pricey paintings, and sometimes guitars.
He neglected his tavern,
Which looked like a cavern.
Fin’lly caught, he is now behind bars.
And here is my RANDOM WORDS GENERATOR Limerick:
“Don’t go running with knives,” parents warn.
Their children’s response? Often scorn:
“How ’bout scissors?” they query,
Which makes one mom weary:
“Should have stopped with my very first born.”
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
Not Celebrating Asparagus (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2022It’s “Asparagus Day.” I’m no fan,
Though of course I’m not pushing a ban.
Why’s “asparagus” tossed
Mid-line, where it’s lost?
I could NOT make it rhyme right or scan.
Egg Myths (Limerick)
Friday, October 8th, 2021“World Egg Day” has given me an excuse to write this limerick rant:
“Do NOT eat the yolks of your eggs!”
“Just the egg whites,” they said – (the egg-dregs.)
Now such counsel’s passé
Re cholesterol. Yay!
All those egg lies no longer have legs.
Dear Chef (Limerick)
Thursday, August 19th, 2021I’ve written my “Dear Chef” limerick to celebrate “National Hot And Spicy Food Day.” (August 19)
I like food that is spicy and hot.
Serve it bland? It’s returned on the spot.
Don’t assume you know best;
Second-guessing a guest
Means you’ve failed at your quest by a lot.
Me Celebrate Greasy Foods Day? Not On Your Life! (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 25th, 2016I do not understand the appeal
Of a greasy and fat-laden meal.
Yet folks by the tons
Risk getting the runs
From fried items, with heart-stopping zeal.
Happy Greasy Foods Day! (October 25)
It’s Bologna Day — No Baloney! (Limerick)
Monday, October 24th, 2016At the taste of bologna, I groan.
Processed meats make me cringe, gag, and moan.
Yet for some, they’re a treat.
Keep your mystery meat,
Else my face shall be meeting my “throne.”
Happy National Bologna Day! (October 24)
Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SACK at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5
Sunday, August 21st, 2016It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.
I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SACK at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)
The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)
Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to HEAT, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best HEAT-related limerick.
How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)
I’ll announce the winners on September 4, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 3, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)
Here’s my limerick:
A gal in the mood for a snack
Was tempted to purchase a sack
Filled with pretzels and chips,
Which would go to her hips.
How she wished it would go to her rack.
Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.
To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!
A Mixed Up Baker (Limerick)
Wednesday, July 13th, 2016“Please help me get out of my fix.
I was fixing to bake with a mix,
And I thought I had butter
Behind all the clutter.
May I borrow a couple of sticks?”
“Your question is very confusing,”
Was the answer. “What mix are you using
That requires two sticks
Of butter? I’d nix
Such a mix and just stick to your boozing.”
Spilling The Beans About “Eat Beans Day” (Limerick)
Sunday, July 3rd, 2016Happy “Eat Beans Day!”
A man was incensed because beans
Caused an ailment he’d had since his teens;
His digestion was marred
To the point he was barred
From small rooms, though allowed in latrines.
Asparagus Day? Why? (Limerick)
Tuesday, May 24th, 2016Asparagus doesn’t appeal to me,
And it guts what might be a good meal to me.
Brussels sprouts can be yummy.
With brocc’li I’m chummy.
But asparagus spears are “no deal” to me.
May 24 is Asparagus Day.
Limerick Ode To Chopsticks
Saturday, February 6th, 2016Happy National Chopsticks Day! (February 6)
Eating East Asian food drives me nuts.
The reason? Alas, I’m a klutz
And am dreadful with chopsticks;
I frequently drop sticks…
So must stick to a fork like a putz.
Limerick Ode To Brussels Sprouts
Sunday, January 31st, 2016Happy “Eat Brussels Sprouts Day!”
Though for most of my life I had doubts
About choking down cooked Brussels sprouts,
I flout them no more;
Well prepared, they’re top drawer.
Now I tout ’em instead. No more pouts!
Cheesy Limerick
Wednesday, January 20th, 2016A man who should never eat cheese,
Ignores ev’ry cough and each wheeze
That comes in reaction
And once led to traction;
He can’t hack cheese-attraction disease.
Happy National Cheese Lovers Day, which is celebrated on January 20th.
Note: National Cheese Day falls on June 4th.
Gunning For A Hot, Spicy Meal (Limerick)
Saturday, January 16th, 2016My “Dear Chef” limerick, just in time for International Hot and Spicy Food Day (Jan. 16):
Dear Chef:
By Madeleine Begun Kane
My pref’rence is food that is hot;
Not in contrast to cold, but that’s got
Lots of tongue-burning spice.
This Thai entree with rice
Should attack me. Is THAT your best shot?
Happy National Spaghetti Day (Limerick)
Monday, January 4th, 2016Today’s a big day for spaghetti,
Although no one is throwing confetti.
Not too thin, not too thick,
It is reas’nably quick
To prepare, though disdained by the petty.
(National Spaghetti Day is January 4. This isn’t to be confused with National Pasta Day, which is Oct.17.)
