Posts Tagged ‘Restaurant Humor’

No Longer Tied To Ties (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2015

Guys who despise ties (and who doesn’t?) will love New York City’s new gender discrimination rule banning restaurants from requiring ties for male diners only.

A male-only necktie demand
In Big Apple rest’rants is banned.
This new rule now protects
Our poor fellows’ sore necks.
How grand that such sexism’s panned!

How NOT To Butter Up Your Waiter (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 25th, 2015

How NOT To Butter Up Your Waiter (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When given some butter — a dollop,
She said “More, and don’t loll! Hurry! Lollop!”
On the waiter’s return
With a butter-filled urn,
She threw the urn, earning a wallop.

Strained Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Saturday, April 12th, 2014

NOTE: THIS IS A TWO-WEEK LIMERICK-OFF. LIMERICK SUBMISSION DEADLINE IS SATURDAY, APRIL 26, 2014

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

Please note that due to the holidays, this Limerick-Off will run for two weeks, instead of one. So I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner two weeks from today, on April 27, 2014, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full two weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 26, 2014 at 11 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

And since you’ll have two weeks, I’m offering you a topical alternative: In addition to your regular challenge, you may write a limerick related to any April holiday, using any first line. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best holiday-related limerick.

And now, getting back to your regular Limerick-Off challenge, I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman whose budget was strained…*

or

A singer whose voice sounded strained…*

or

A fellow had struggled and strained…*

or

A woman whose mood was restrained…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Strained Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A chef who had struggled and strained
To serve noteworthy food appeared drained:
“I’m losing my shirt,”
He said, scarfing dessert.
Seems his rep (and his shirt) had been stained.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

UPDATE: July 25th is National Culinarians’ Day.

Crabby Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, December 1st, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal who was rather a crab…*

or

A woman enjoying some crab…*

or

A fellow who’d frequently crab…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Crabby Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A crabby young man eating crab
Claimed “This tastes like it came from a lab.
It’s fishy indeed
That you’d try to mislead
With faux food, so I’m chucking this tab.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Dishing Dirt (Limerick)

Monday, January 28th, 2013

I enjoy unearthing oddball news items and celebrating their weirdness in verse. For instance, energy bars made from crickets. But a restaurant whose recipe ingredient-list touts dirt? That’s a bit too much to digest.

So, I won’t be going to Tokyo’s French restaurant Ne Quittez Pas any time soon, even if their dirt is “special black soil from Kanuma, Tochigi Prefecture.”

Dishing Dirt (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear restaurant, please don’t feel hurt
If I spurn you, including dessert.
I have very good grounds:
Word is making the rounds
That your food features soil — that’s the dirt.

Dining Out (Limerick)

Saturday, October 6th, 2012

Claudia over at DVerse prompts us to write food-related poetry.

Dining Out (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are rest’rants that set a good mood
And are great at adjusting your tude.
They’ll charm and beguile
With a great sense of style.
Now if only they served decent food.

A Limerick Bite (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, October 2nd, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A guy in the mood for a bite…

or

A gal in the mood for a bite…

Here’s mine:

A Limerick Bite
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A guy in the mood for a bite
Was upset — not one rest’rant in sight.
All he found was a deli
Whose odor was smelly.
Did he live through his meal there? Not quite.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Dining On Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, September 4th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was trying to dine…

or

A woman was trying to dine…

Here’s mine:

Dining On Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was trying to dine,
When a teenager started to whine.
Then a baby chimed in —
Spoiled his steak. What a sin!
So he yelled, “Damn those children of mine!”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Tasty Verse

Tuesday, December 26th, 2006

Tasty Verse (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are folks who like food rather bland,
In which all trace of flavor’s been banned.
But if I had my wishes,
They’d serve fiery dishes
In ev’ry last joint in the land.

UPDATE: June 10th is National Herbs And Spices Day.