Posts Tagged ‘Rudeness Humor’

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RUDE, RUED or ROOD at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: February 4, 2023)

Saturday, January 7th, 2023

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RUDE, RUED or ROOD at the end of ANY ONE LINE. (A homonym or homophone not listed here may be used in lieu of the designated rhyme word.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s the last contest’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DESTRUCTION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DESTRUCTION-related limerick.

And for a THIRD SEPARATE CHALLENGE, I’ve used a “Random Word Generator” to generate five random words. Your challenge is to use AT LEAST TWO of the Random Words anywhere in your limericks.

Here are the FIVE RANDOM WORDS for this contest: STRIDE, HANDY, PUNISH, FLY, BAIL.

(You’re free to singularize/pluralize the designated random nouns and to change the tense of the designated random verbs. You can even turn adjectives in adverbs and vice versa. And you are NOT required to use any of them as rhyme words, as long as at least two of the words appear somewhere in your limericks.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on February 5, 2023, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you FOUR full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 4, 2023 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my RUDE, RUED or ROOD-Rhyme Limerick:

I am stunned by the way you behave.
It appears you were raised in a cave.
You’ve a terrible tude
And you’re crude, lewd, and rude.
So there’s only one word for you: KNAVE!

And here’s my DESTRUCTION-Themed Limerick:

Here’s a factoid not everyone knows:
Perfectionist Brahms alas chose
To destroy some great stuff
He thought NOT up to snuff.
How I wish that he di’n’t decompose!

And here is my RANDOM WORD GENERATOR Limerick:

I tried to play “stride,” but I failed.
My small hands lacked the reach, so I bailed.
But I still remain sold
On stride pianists of old,
Whose fingers would fly, as they wailed.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SPIN at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: July 10, 2021)

Saturday, June 26th, 2021

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SPIN at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to ETIQUETTE, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best ETIQUETTE-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on July 11, 2021, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, July 10, 2021 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my SPIN-rhyme limerick:

A gal who was clever at spin
Delivered it all with a grin.
Though her clients were sleazy
And cheesy, the breezy
Defenses she’d gin up would win.

And here’s my ETIQUETTE-themed limerick:

When he swallowed his wine, he was rapid.
Then he swiftly dismissed it as “vapid.”
His date was aghast:
“You guzzled it fast!
You’re insipid; that Pinot is sapid.”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

What’ll We Do About Guttling? (Limerick)

Monday, June 7th, 2021

I couldn’t resist using the new-to-me word “guttle” in a limerick. (It means “to eat or drink greedily and noisily.”)

Said a gal to her husband, “You guttle!”
She entreated him, “Try to be subtle
When drinking and chewing.
It’s rude what you’re doing!”
“Well at least I don’t fart!” — his rebuttal.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SIGHT or SITE at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: August 29, 2020)

Saturday, August 15th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SIGHT or SITE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to CHILDREN, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best CHILDREN-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on August 30, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, August 29, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my SIGHT/SITE-rhyme limerick:

Though I hate to appear impolite,
Or petty and quick to indict,
Trump’s a blight on our nation;
A Trump relocation
To prison would be a fine sight.

And here’s my CHILDREN-themed limerick:

We adopted a pet at the pound;
An adorable, cuddly young hound.
The children both love her,
But run off for cover
When doggie-doo mishaps are found.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

UPDATE: NEW SUBMISSION DEADLINE: JUNE 6, 2020 at 4 p.m. (Eastern) [DUE TO NOT ENOUGH ENTRIES] Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: PEAK or PEEK or PIQUE at the end of any one line

Saturday, May 9th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using PEAK or PEEK or PIQUE at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to RUDENESS, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best RUDENESS-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on June 7, 2020, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you four full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, June 6, 2020 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my PEAK/PEEK/PIQUE-rhyme limerick:

As anxieties surge to their peak,
We are called on to try not to freak.
Yes, it’s tough for us all,
And our world seems so small,
But we’re neither alone, nor unique.

And here’s my RUDENESS-themed limerick:

A fellow would cut to the chase,
Saying “Get to the point,” with no grace.
Staffers hated his ’tude,
And his boss thought him rude.
As for women he chased — they used Mace.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: STARE or STAIR at the end of any one line

Sunday, January 22nd, 2017

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using STARE or STAIR at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to DISHONESTY, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best DISHONESTY-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on February 5, 2017, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, February 4, 2017 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A fellow will frequently stare
At people as if they are bare.
When informed this is lewd
And unbearably crude,
He’ll retort rather rudely: “Don’t care!”

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

How NOT To Butter Up Your Waiter (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 25th, 2015

How NOT To Butter Up Your Waiter (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When given some butter — a dollop,
She said “More, and don’t loll! Hurry! Lollop!”
On the waiter’s return
With a butter-filled urn,
She threw the urn, earning a wallop.

Snappish Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, April 8th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was starting to snap…*

or

A woman was starting to snap…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Snappish Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was starting to snap
At a rude and obstreperous chap.
But his wife said, “Be wise.
Did you see that guy’s size?
He could give you a permanent nap.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Rude Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, July 17th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow I tried to ignore…

or

A woman I tried to ignore…

Here’s mine:

Rude Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow I tried to ignore
Was a rude, inconsiderate bore.
He’d sneeze in my face
And then cough just in case
All his germs failed to enter each pore.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!