Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SACK at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SACK at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to HEAT, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best HEAT-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on September 4, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 3, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A gal in the mood for a snack
Was tempted to purchase a sack
Filled with pretzels and chips,
Which would go to her hips.
How she wished it would go to her rack.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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80 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SACK at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5”

  1. Marty Gerendasy says:

    A handsome young star quarterback
    Was a guy other teams loved to sack.
    When attempting a pass
    He’d get knocked on his ass,
    And he’d just lie there, flat on his back.

  2. Marty Gerendasy says:

    The young lady was great in the sack.
    Not a single slick move did she lack.
    She’d give thrill after thrill,
    All the guys had their fill,
    ‘Cause she certainly had quite a knack!

  3. Brian Allgar says:

    (Definitely not funny)

    He was caught with a big, heavy sack,
    And the cop thought he looked kinda black.
    With one shot to the head,
    Father Christmas lay dead.
    And the cop? Well, they cut him some slack.

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    “He was trapped in a tight cul-de-sac
    With the Mafia hot on his back.
    With one bound, he was free …”
    I am sure you’ll agree
    That the author’s a second-rate hack.

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    Torquemada was proud of his rack,
    And explained how his victims would crack.
    “It is state-of-the-art;
    When we’ve pulled them apart,
    The remains will all fit in a sack.”

  6. Brian Allgar says:

    (A few old ones …)

    (A few old ones …)

    I’d always heard Melody’s sweet,
    But I found that she tended to bleat,
    While her sister Anita
    Is silent and sweeter
    And bonks like a bunny in heat.

    They were frolicking in the back seat
    Like a bitch and a mongrel in heat
    When a sudden bright light
    Gave the couple a fright.
    “My turn next”, said the cop on the beat.

    He had gone to the kitchen to heat
    His beef burgers, so tender and sweet.
    When they caught the chef, canned,
    With his dick in his hand,
    He explained, “I’m just beating my meat.”

  7. Tim James says:

    News item: Donald Trump piñatas have become big sellers

    Here’s a concept I’m not sure I back:
    Donald’s form as piñata, to whack.
    My objection, though slight,
    Is it doesn’t feel right
    Taking candy from such a sad sack.

  8. Mark Kane says:

    I tried getting her into the sack
    But it needed some tact which I lack.
    With my ego unchecked,
    I’m too damn direct,
    But Champagne got my plan back on track.

  9. Judith Block says:

    Though she wore what looked like a sack,
    It was clear she had quite a large rack,
    She was graceful and hot
    Guys liked it a lot,
    And gave her unseemly feedback

  10. Judith Block says:

    I really should now hit the sack,
    I’m tired, not insomniac.
    With FB, I’m smitten,
    Oh, look! Dancing kitten!
    And what a sweet music soundtrack!

  11. Judith Block says:

    Want to cover my head with a sack.
    Or run away, never look back!
    There is so much hate
    This election- our fate!
    We’re all in the line of attack.

  12. Judith Block says:

    The gal was quite skilled in the sack,
    Like S&M? You’d get a smack;
    She could be quite gentle
    Was never judgmental,
    She’d hook you as if she were crack.

  13. Brian Allgar says:

    Cried Falstaff, “Alas and alack!
    I have drunk my last barrel of sack.”
    When Doll Tearsheet called by,
    Falstaff heaved a great sigh,
    And expired while fondling her rack.

  14. Brian Allgar says:

    “They ogle my legs and my rack,”
    Said the bimbo, “but what I can’t crack
    Is the question: then why
    Do the guys always try
    To hide me in some kind of sack?”

  15. Brian Allgar says:

    He’d complain “Jeez! You don’t have the knack”;
    “Geddit right!”; “It’s those brain cells you lack!”
    His long-suffering wife
    Took a sharp kitchen knife.
    Now he lacks both the knacks from his sac.

  16. Brian Allgar says:

    He would boast, “Yeah, I’ve got a six-pack”,
    But his belly was flabby and slack.
    He explained, “Well, I fear
    That a six-pack of beer
    Twice a day makes me look like a sack.”

  17. Marty Gerendasy says:

    When the temps hit a hundred degrees,
    And you long for a nice cooling breeze,
    You can feel like it seems
    That there’s just two extremes,
    It’s like either you swelter or freeze!

  18. Judith Block says:

    The heat of her touch drove guys mad,
    She loved teasing; loved being bad.
    ‘They’d always crave more,
    First appeal, then implore!
    Was the best sex that they ever had.

  19. Judith Block says:

    Don’t like insects that come with the heat.
    And humidity makes me retreat
    Winter ice- one can fall,
    Just the thought does appall.
    Fall’s sad. but Spring flowers are sweet.

  20. Judith Block says:

    The aura of Molly Bloom’s heat
    Blazes Boylan; while Bloom’s in retreat.
    Her thoughts, not repressed,
    It all ends in “yes”;
    And Bloom’s Dublin sojourn’s complete.

  21. Dan McCaulet says:

    We’ll go to Limerick, but we’ll come back,
    So, here’s what we nth will pack,
    Just a toothbrush and comb,
    ‘Cause we are coming home,
    We can get by with just one sack.

  22. Ken Gosse says:

    Remember the Hackensack Socko Kicky-Sack Sack Kicker Factory? ~
    Disney cartoons had a Quack,
    And Double-U B cut no slack,
    But my favoreite today,
    (which I still cannot say)
    Is when P&B slay Kicky-Sack.

  23. When the drunk got a gal in the sack
    He laughed and said “Babe you’ve no rack”.
    “There’s no hair on your cookle
    But, I’d still. like some nookie”.
    She replied and said, “GET OFF MY BACK”.

  24. Brian Allgar says:

    “The art of the deal? Making jack!
    I would never give workers the sack,
    But I’ll hold out for ages
    Before paying wages –
    Illegals just can’t answer back.”

  25. Brian Allgar says:


    Your ‘Ulysses’ limerick’s good,
    And Molly said yes, yes she would.
    But I bet you can’t make
    Out of ‘Finnegans Wake’
    A verse that can be understood.

  26. Jim says:

    Her Bad Day

    She was all ready for the sack
    Bread, baloney, cheese, what the ‘Hack’!
    Green mold, slime. ‘Oh Fog’!
    Not fit for the dog
    Her bad day, fridge’s out of whack

    Note: My first entry on your FaceBook has “snack” instead of “sack” as I had read the instructions wrong, a bit of a dyslexia problem showed. Sorry, I’m headed to post this one now. I like the first, but, …

  27. Tim James says:

    Young Nellie, a beauteous belle,
    Was more lovely than any could tell.
    She was fine, without doubt,
    But the word soon got out
    That her sister was hotter than Nell.

  28. David Reddekopp says:

    My ex-girlfriend was taken aback –
    Said it’s sick if she’d suck on my sack
    Though a sec with my sock
    Would relieve my poor cock
    ​I’m now left not a lass, but a lack.

  29. Jeanine Silverio says:

    Jill Harth’s bounteous and and perky full rack –
    Groped and squeezed in Trump’s latest attack.
    Donald’s sick and obscene
    (But at least Jill’s not thirteen)
    Here’s a thought, why not snip off his sac?

  30. David Reddekopp says:

    On Twitter, Trump’s talking some smack
    But he sues when he’s under attack
    Do you not understand
    From each tiny Trump hand
    That he has, and he is, a sad sack?

  31. David Reddekopp says:

    Actually, Mad, could you change L3-5 to:

    Do you not understand
    From each tiny Trump hand
    That he has, and he is, a sad sack?

    Please and thank you.

    From MBK: Done.

  32. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Great idea, Jeanine! (your last line, I mean)
    Do you know what I think?

    You must KNOW Monroe – sculptor wisecrack
    The Trump statue he made has no sac
    They were spread with finesse
    Five throughout the U.S.
    What a hoot, what a mess, what a hack!

  33. Suzanne Heymann says:

    “Let’s see what’s inside of your sack!”
    She said, as her lips gave a smack
    ‘Twas a popsicle stick
    That she’d eagerly lick
    Till white cream could no longer hold back.

    You remember those orange-coated ‘Creamsicle’ popsicle treats with ice cream inside, don’t you? Why, what were you thinking?

  34. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A power-out made things pitch black
    So they freely had fun in the sack
    When the lights came back on
    Well, his hard-on was gone
    Something else had come out of her crack.

    Yeah, I know… ew!

  35. Suzanne Heymann says:

    As a rule, every man is a fool
    When it’s hot, he would rather feel cool
    When it’s cool, then his thought
    Is, he’d rather feel hot
    Always wanting what’s not; what a tool!

  36. David Reddekopp says:

    The couple upstairs, always sweating
    Is making a mess of their bedding
    But our bedding is neat
    We don’t generate heat
    And it really is rather upsetting.

  37. Barry Solomons says:

    Now Michelle has said to Barack
    I know it’s been poor in the sack,
    But I didn’t think the Whitehouse
    For us was the right house,
    It’ll improve in a much smaller shack.


    A murderer in North Delaware
    When strapped into the electric chair
    Had a problem when seated
    Because the chair overheated,
    Which he thought was rather unfair.

  38. Tim James says:

    The Donald has given the sack
    To another inept campaign hack.
    To contain noxious gases
    From cracks and crevasses,
    It helps if you know how to frack.

  39. Dave Johnson says:

    A ranch-owning gal from Omak
    Spends most afternoons on her back.
    Young cowboys her steed,
    To her spread they stampede
    For the ride of their lives in the sack.

    (The Omak Stampede featuring is a famous rodeo held in Washington state.)

  40. Mark Kane says:

    At ‘White Castle’ you wolf down a sack,
    Then wait for that slider attack
    On your belly; it’s coming
    To mess up your plumbing,
    But ‘Bombers’ ace out a ‘Big Mac.’

  41. Diane Groothuis says:

    A feisty young Scotsman called Mac
    Whose love life was starting to lack
    Said “I’m very well built
    With what’s under my kilt
    Let me show you my style in the sack”

  42. Diane Groothuis says:

    She bought all her frocks off the rack
    For prices her budget could hack
    And she looked pretty fair
    When she teased up her hair
    And paraded her latest chic sack.

  43. Dave Johnson says:

    Her husband was just out of whack;
    Depressed like an old worn-out sack.
    She concocted a way
    To brighten his day;
    By cracky, it brought him right back!

  44. Dave Johnson says:

    A defender recorded a sack;
    He knocked the poor guy on his back.
    Said the QB, still prone,
    “Inner peace may atone
    For compassive impulses you lack.”

  45. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A chef’s job – all day on your feet
    No time to go potty or eat
    Just quit your damn bitchin’
    Stay out of the kitchen
    If you cannot stand all the heat!

  46. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The puddles they made filled each crack
    ‘Cause they spent too much time in the sack
    The sheets were all wet
    And not just from the sweat
    Oh well, that’s what you get lying back!

  47. Dave Johnson says:

    A couple was always in heat;
    Some swingers they wanted to meet.
    The boisterous crowd
    Was horny and loud
    And looked like a squid in retreat.

  48. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    My kids found a cat that was scruffy,
    And at first, I was pretty darn huffy,
    But they washed him real well,
    And then dried him a spell—
    In the dryer. I love our cat fluffy.

  49. Dave Johnson says:

    The lovers decided to pass
    A warm afternoon on the grass.
    But from overnight rains,
    There were little green stains
    On his kneecaps along with her ass.

  50. A Dudelsackpfeifer (a hack)
    Played for years without getting the knack.
    One morning his wife
    Got her hands on a knife
    And cut off both his Dudel and Sack.

    (Dudelsackpfeifer = bagpipe player)

  51. I’d a lim’rick, believe it or not,
    With a double-entendre on “hot”.
    But the heat of the day
    Burned my wits all away,
    And — whatever it was — I forgot.

  52. While shtupping a prostitute, Jack
    Got his testicles caught in her crack…
    And prying them out
    Killed the moment, no doubt,
    As I hear that he gave her the sack.

  53. If action is something you lack,
    Invite your girl out to your shack
    For some sherry and ale…
    And you’ll find, without fail,
    You’ve had plenty of Hops in the Sack.

  54. “I’ve given my dentist the sack.”
    Why’s that? “He was on the wrong track:
    I went for five years
    With no cavities.” Cheers!
    What’s the problem?
    “He gave me a plaque.”

  55. Fred Bortz says:

    This is what happens when you offer a physicist a chance to write about heat.

    The energy change, delta-U,
    Is equal to heat in, or Q,
    Less work out, that’s W.
    Now that shouldn’t trouble you.
    The First Law of Thermo is true.

  56. Fred Bortz says:

    This campaign brings out my dark side:

    He stood there massaging his sack
    While admiring the young woman’s rack.
    Then he started to totter.
    “Oh my God, that’s my daughter.”
    More words that Trump had to take back.

  57. Loyd Dillon says:

    The Trumpster is taken aback
    At psychologists on the attack.
    One prominent shrink,
    Nose wrinkled at stink,
    Said, “Of feces he is quite a sack!”

  58. Loyd Dillon says:

    In Paris, that famous hunchback
    Had a face that was demoniac.
    But he was so “endowed”
    That the girls, all uncowed,
    Simply covered his head with a sack.

  59. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    We all wanted to shag this guy, Zack,
    So we four took him back to our shack.
    I felt somewhat forsaken,
    Cuz his good parts were taken;
    I was left, sadly, holding the sack.

  60. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    When it’s hot, he removes all his clothes,
    Which is not so bizarre I suppose.
    Then he’ll oil his bod,
    Which is still not too odd,
    But he does the same thing when it snows.

  61. Diane Groothuis says:

    Her business was getting too slack
    And she thought she was getting the sack
    So to step up the pace
    She made up her face
    And gave a few turns out the back.

  62. David Reddekopp says:

    I started to work up a sweat
    The sex was all sloppy and wet
    I had so much fun
    But now that I’m done
    I’ve got only goo, and regret.

  63. Dave Johnson says:

    The couples were friends from way back;
    Having wine – so much they lost track.
    By the end of the night
    All buzzy and tight,
    There were more than two nuts in the sack.

  64. Dave Johnson says:

    The fellow was wrecking his back
    By carrying rocks in a sack.
    Asked why, he replied
    “A big yard is my pride;
    But a stone hedge is something I lack.

  65. Dave Johnson says:

    A cowboy from Twisp threw a fit;
    (He speaks with a lisp quite a bit).
    “I’m madder than hell!”
    He started to yell,
    “And I ain’t gonna take any thit!”

  66. Tim James says:

    When the splash hit that Wicked Witch dame,
    She dissolved, didn’t melt. (Not the same!)
    With this past summer’s heat
    My own meltdown’s complete.
    “What a world!” from the floor I exclaim.

  67. Suzanne Heymann says:

    A loud, unmistakable quack
    Could be heard from inside of the sack
    Well, there’s my potluck
    Just a li’l Peking duck
    Through the opening, looking right back.

  68. Suzanne Heymann says:

    If your muscles are sore, apply heat
    Not the kind that you find on the street
    Better make an appointment
    With sore-muscle ointment
    Instead of a whore’s pricey teat.

  69. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The argument got rather heated
    He resented how he was defeated
    He’d swear and he’d shout
    So she booted him out
    You could say the dumb ass got unseated.

    Somewhat reminds me of what happens to belligerent dorks who bulldoze their poop on someone’s FB page like a bull in a china shop.

  70. Diane Groothuis says:

    She started to turn on the heat
    For a guy she had met on the beat.
    He had got a bit slow
    When it started to snow
    So she asked “Are you getting cold feet?”
    Like · Reply · Just now

  71. Suzanne Heymann says:

    Do you single folks feel incomplete
    Without somebody’s warm body heat?
    Then light up some candles
    Don’t need the love handles
    To fire up your frostbitten meat.

    And fellas, you wanna feel warm?
    Do a happy thing out of the norm –
    Rosy Palm, her five sisters
    Should help all you misters
    But too much, and blisters may form.

    And ladies, it’s not sex, but love
    That warms like a hand in a glove
    A cuddly dog’s use
    Is like happiness juice
    But if it tries to goose ya, then shove!

    (and for the dirty minds out there, it’s ‘shove’ away, not in!)

  72. Thomas Creamer says:

    His appearance told of an attack
    dismissed with his charismatic knack
    his buttoned fly undone
    breath strong enough to stun
    Tis love but her face beckons a sack

  73. Mary mcgarvey says:

    Since we heat with a microwave
    Almost all food We now can save.
    But leftover lasagne
    I’ll just slather on ya
    Cold pasta al fresco’s all the rave!

  74. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The sun and the moon had a fight
    The moon said, “It’s hotter at night!
    You’ll see all newlyweds
    With this fire in their beds”
    Then the sun said, “By golly, you’re right!”

  75. Dave Johnson says:

    Trip-planning for weather is better
    Than ignoring warm days versus wetter.
    For some, less is bold
    Regardless of cold;
    As for me, I’ll pack a sweater.

  76. Suzanne Heymann says:

    The sauna was hotter than hell
    And the occupants started to smell
    The CEOs, bankers
    Those owning oil tankers
    A big steaming pile of… oh well!

  77. Suzanne Heymann says:

    His temperature started to climb
    As the TV showed sex mixed with crime
    “Your fever was born
    ‘Cause you watch too much porn!”
    Doc said, “Take a cold shower next time!”

  78. There was a young harlot named Zack
    Who worked 9 to 5 on her back.
    “It’s a curious quirk
    Of my line of work
    That I look forward to getting the sack”

  79. Mary McGarvey says:

    Mambo Italiano I adore
    I do it both out and indoor
    Salami in a sack
    Puts my hips out of whack
    I can’t both dance and eat, either or.

  80. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to our Limerick-Off Award Winner, the Heat-Themed Limerick Winner, and to the Honorable Mention winners: Limerick-Off Winner 260.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Bunk.