Posts Tagged ‘Appearance Humor’

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: SACK at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Sunday, August 21st, 2016

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using SACK at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to HEAT, using any rhyme scheme. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best HEAT-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on September 4, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, September 3, 2016 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

A gal in the mood for a snack
Was tempted to purchase a sack
Filled with pretzels and chips,
Which would go to her hips.
How she wished it would go to her rack.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To “Clashing Clothes Day”

Friday, January 29th, 2016

Damn! I somehow missed “Clashing Clothes Day” yesterday. (It’s celebrated annually on the 4th Thursday of January.)

But it’s never too late for a limerick:

A fellow who’d constantly clash
And wear clothes that appeared to be trash,
Attended a party
Quite retro and arty.
His clothing “designs” were a smash.

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: CLIPS or ECLIPSE at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Saturday, February 7th, 2015

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using either “CLIPS” or “ECLIPSE” at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

While an actress was showing her clips
Which featured her just enlarged lips,
She sipped from a cup
And her lips, all puffed up,
Caused the liquid to drip on her hips.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Grand Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, December 7th, 2014

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow’s delusions were grand…*

or

A woman had hopes that were grand…*

or

A fellow had paid fifty grand…*

or

A pianist was playing her grand…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Grand Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A musician whose plans had been grand
Was canned from his gig with a band.
Though his playing was fly,
They told him “Goodbye,
You’re too cute, which is bad for our brand.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Eyes (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, September 8th, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman with beautiful eyes…*

or

A fellow was feasting his eyes…*

or

A woman with stars in her eyes…*

or

A gal was a sight for sore eyes…*

or

A fellow who dots all his i’s…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Eyes
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow is feasting his eyes
On a gal in a sexy disguise.
Since her face is quite plain,
Plainly that ain’t the main
Feature giving the man quite a rise.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Forlorn Limerick

Thursday, July 11th, 2013

Forlorn Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was feeling forlorn
About having her curly locks shorn,
But was warned if her goal
Was a porno film role,
Her pubes must be fully forsworn.

Sun-Tanned Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, May 6th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal with a very deep tan…*

or

A guy with a very deep tan…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Sun-Tanned Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal with a very deep tan
Was hoping to pick up a man.
But the guys got one look,
And that’s all that it took:
Wrinkled skin made her look like their gran.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

UPDATE: July 3rd is Stay Out Of The Sun Day.

Looking Askance (Limerick)

Thursday, July 28th, 2011

Looking Askance (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was looking askance
At a hoofer she spotted by chance.
He danced by the book.
So why the odd look?
The fellow was wearing no pants.

UPDATE: Happy International Dance Day! (April 29th)

Slovenly Limerick

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

Slovenly Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow whose shirt was all stained
Saw his lovely wife’s look — it was pained.
“You’re so messy with pasta,”
She chided him. “Basta!
You’re just like your dad — it’s ingrained.”

UPDATE: National Pasta Day is October 17 and World Pasta Day is October 25.

Infamous Limerick

Monday, September 27th, 2010

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who yearned for great fame…

Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Infamous Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who yearned for great fame
Had no talent that people could name.
But reality’s odd:
Her voluptuous bod
Led to stints on American Dame.

The series showed gals well endowed,
As scantily clad as allowed.
Then losers were kicked,
As front-runners were picked.
You don’t like that idea? Join the crowd.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!

Hot Crossed Limerick (Updated)

Monday, August 30th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who was known for his buns…

Here’s mine:

Hot Crossed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who was known for his buns
Attracted most gals — even nuns.
How those dames would delight
In his ass oh so tight,
Ignoring his poor half-baked puns.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Update — Note: I will soon start announcing these Limerick-Offs via private email instead of FB messaging, because FB group messaging anti-spam policies are making it very difficult for me to send legitimate messages out to groups of twenty. (My Facebook Straits recounts just some of my difficulties with FB’s anti-spam controls.)

So if you’d like to receive private email notices letting you know I’ve posted a new Limerick-Off first line, please send me a private email to MadKane@MadKane.com with the subject line “Limerick-Off Announcement Request.” Thanks very much!

Dotty Men

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A guy in a polka dot tie…

Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.):

Dotty Men
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A guy in a polka dot tie
Felt stylish, though heaven knows why.
His jacket was garish.
His pants were nightmarish.
And non-matching sneakers — oh my!

Yet he sat around mocking the gals
With some equally odd-looking pals.
“She’s too thin. She’s too fat.”
“She’s an ugly old bat.”
Can’t imagine their warped rationales.

Why do fellows behave in that way —
Scorning gals who look cuter than they?
Do they all need a shrink?
I sure hope they don’t think
It will lead to a roll in the hay.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Unassailable Logic

Wednesday, July 7th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal who looked young for her years…

Here’s mine:

Unassailable Logic
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal who looked young for her years
Was often assaulted by leers.
“That is rude,” pals opined,
But she said, “I don’t mind.
Soon enough they’ll replace them with jeers.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Lush Limerick

Friday, June 25th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who drank to excess…

Here’s mine:

Lush Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who drank to excess
Got to work in a state of undress:
Wore no shirt and no shoes,
Had a briefcase of booze
And, quite tipsy, said “Dress to impress.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

It’s Not That I Don’t Like Movies, But…

Saturday, March 24th, 2007

It’s Not That I Don’t Like Movies, But…
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I prefer to catch movies at home,
Not in theaters where tall fellows roam.
There they prowl, on the hunt
For the seat right in front,
To bestow a great view of their dome. 

Update: April 23 is National Movie Theater Day.

What A Card!

Monday, December 11th, 2006

What A Card!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I haven’t been carded in years,
But the last time it brought me to tears.
I was laughing, I mean:
To be seen as a teen
By a fellow whose folks were my peers.