Dotty Men

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A guy in a polka dot tie…

Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.):

Dotty Men
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A guy in a polka dot tie
Felt stylish, though heaven knows why.
His jacket was garish.
His pants were nightmarish.
And non-matching sneakers — oh my!

Yet he sat around mocking the gals
With some equally odd-looking pals.
“She’s too thin. She’s too fat.”
“She’s an ugly old bat.”
Can’t imagine their warped rationales.

Why do fellows behave in that way —
Scorning gals who look cuter than they?
Do they all need a shrink?
I sure hope they don’t think
It will lead to a roll in the hay.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

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32 Responses to “Dotty Men”

  1. Veralynne says:

    Your “Dotty Men” is great! LOL!

  2. Jesse Levy says:

    I love your three verse limerick. Here’s a standard one-verser:

    A guy in a polka dot tie
    Liked to drink a whole bottle of rye
    Then go out in his nudeness
    The tie covering his rudeness
    While the dots do a dance that’s quite spry.

  3. Neal P says:

    A guy in a polka dot tie
    was dandy and randy — oh my
    he liked to cavort
    in polka dot shorts
    which we saw when he opened his fly

  4. Jesse Levy says:

    A guy in a polka dot tie
    Thought it was time to die
    So he hung himself
    From the bathroom shelf
    With the tie – way to die!- what a guy!

    (I think there’s a slight problem with “guy” and “tie” in the first line. You take away a potential rhyme. Oh well, more of a challenge I guess).

  5. Dr. Goose says:

    A man in a polka dot tie
    Had been courting a girl from Versailles;
    When this proved ineffectual,
    He went metrosexual
    With help from those guys on “Queer Eye.”

  6. madkane says:

    Wow! Four fun limericks, already!

    Thanks for the compliments, Veralynne and Jesse!

    And Jesse, I was aware of the internal rhyme of guy and tie, but figured so many other words rhyme with tie, it would be okay to steal one. :) But if you or anyone else wants to use guy elsewhere in your limericks, you can feel free to change my first line guy to man. And if you want me to edit yours above to reflect that change, I’ll be happy to. Thanks!

  7. Veralynne says:

    A guy in a polka dot tie
    Thought that his time was nigh
    Acknowledging this
    He gave his wife a kiss,
    Smiled, and fell dead with a sigh.

    When someone wears a dotted tie
    Does this mean he’s a happy guy?
    Happy to have lived his life,
    Happy to have loved his wife,
    And ready, at the time, to say g’bye?

    We’ll never know, really, I think
    Until we, ourselves, are on the brink
    If I can I’ll remember a joke
    And hope that I laugh ’til I croak
    I’ll bet I would’ve asked for a drink!

  8. Peter Metrinko says:

    A guy in a polka dot tie
    Sat down, and his tie went awry
    It was the tie’s fate
    To dip into a plate
    Containing a blueberry pie

    Fortunately for the young guy
    The stains remained hidden, and why?
    Polka dots camouflage
    Any stain, spot or splodge
    Caused by food, by ink or by dye.

  9. Helen Jacobs says:

    A man in a polka dot tie
    Studied years to become a spy
    Dreamed of bedding fine lasses
    But flunked basic “brush passes”
    Now his new job – “Want Coke with those fries?”

  10. Tracy Farr says:

    A guy in a polka dot tie
    Met a girl who was limber and spry.
    It is fair to report
    That the two did cavort
    And ran off with each other, no lie.

    At first life was happy and gay.
    They frolicked 12 hours a day.
    It was all quite sublime
    But then after a time
    They found out they had nothing to say.

    The girl who was limber and spry
    Packed her bags then she started to cry.
    It was midsummer’s eve
    But the girl, she did leave
    The old guy in the polka dot tie.

  11. A guy in a polka dot tie,
    handsome enough to stupify,
    all the girls that he met
    who were hoping to get
    a marrying sort of of guy.

  12. Sally Franz says:

    A guy in a polka dot tie
    With ladies was morbidly shy
    He learned a mean tango
    Whipped up a fandango
    But with girls he-a polka-ed and died

  13. Steve Vitoff says:

    A guy in a polka dot tie
    Complained to himself with a sigh
    “My sense of high fashion
    My buds all keep trashin’
    They don’t like dots as much as I”

  14. Steve Vitoff says:

    A guy in a polka dot tie
    Was baking a blueberry pie
    He soon splattered lots
    Of blue fruity spots
    Thus leaving the patterns awry

  15. Steve Vitoff says:

    A guy in a polka dot tie
    Thought he would give Broadway a try
    When he played “South Pacific”
    His cravat looked terrific
    As he wowed the crowd with “Bali Hai”

  16. A guy in a polka dot tie
    Wore paisley pants on the fly.
    Like a budding young flower
    He became Austin Powers
    And smiled when everyone asked why?

  17. Debby says:

    I love your limerick- Right on!! :-)

    A guy in a polka dot tie
    Searched the beach for true love every Fri.
    As he sipped a martini
    Spotting a (yellow)-polka-dot bikini
    He found love and a material match. Bull’s eye!

  18. K Bhattacharya says:

    Getting Untied

    A guy in a polka dot tie,
    His knot was done on the fifth try
    Now it was the turn to tie his belt
    Many contractions in lard were felt
    On his belly- at 84 inches, and an open fly!

    So he kept at it for ninety minutes
    His belt was breaking into bits and bits
    People just stood and watch the fun
    They surely knew it could not be done
    But the guy had his trouser now in splits…

    As time went on, the audience jeered
    Certainly, he was not a guy they feared
    So our friend in a polka dot tie
    Sat down there and screamed his battle cry
    All 300 pounds, to kill, he was prepared…

    The mob was now rather uncertain
    The guy in a polka dot tie was insane
    And a boxer of no small repute
    So the ladies purred and said he was cute
    And male tormentors quickly vanished in the lane!

  19. Vivek Banerjee says:

    A guy in a polka dot tie,
    Drank rum till he was high.
    Got kicked out of the bar
    And could not find his car
    So he walked home with a sigh!

  20. A man in a polka dot tie
    Raced jauntingly, biking right by.
    He then started a wheely,
    And fell rather freely
    With tie through the spokes, my oh my!

  21. The limerick craze has gone wild, it’s anything but a fad mild
    The poets are racing, the rhymes they are chasing
    To win every grownup and child

  22. Vivek Banerjee says:

    Okay, a couple of more limericks I just made up……..

    A guy in a polka dot tie,
    Wanted to fly in the sky.
    But air tickets cost a rocket
    And he had a hole in his pocket
    So he smoked pot and got high.

    A guy in a polka dot tie,
    Took his mistress to the beach on the sly.
    Who, in an itsi bitsi teeny weeny
    Yellow polka dotted bikini
    Made the other guys swoon and sigh.

  23. madkane says:

    Wow! This line certainly has your limerick juices flowing! Thanks for kind words and your fun limericks and please keep those limericks coming!

  24. Vivek Banerjee says:

    A guy in a polka dot tie,
    Sat on the road and started to cry.
    ‘Cause his wifey had run away
    With the handyman that very day
    As he sobbed he wondered why?

  25. Steve Bumgarner says:

    A guy in a polka-dot tie
    Thought he’d give selling used cars a try.
    The lot sold ‘bikes, cars and trucks.
    But buyers all said “This SUCKS!!!”
    So he gave up, went home, got high.

  26. Debby says:

    A guy in a polka dot tie
    In a restaurant saw a huge fly
    He just couldn’t stand it
    when near food it landed
    His polka now dots its smushed eye!

  27. Jeff says:

    A man in a polka dot tie
    Was trying real hard to get by
    That he felt so much pain
    When the tie got all stained
    Cause another he’s unable to buy.

  28. Mark Kane says:

    A guy in a polka dot tie,
    Smelled baked goods and uttered a sigh.
    Although already wide,
    Putting diet aside,
    It was time for a nice slice of pie.

  29. Vinnie Falcone says:

    A man in uh poker dot tie
    Got his ass kicked each time he’d try
    Ta leave his house wearin’ like dat
    Freakin’ ridicalous cravat.
    When dey quit kickin’, dey punched his eye.

  30. Brion Emde says:

    A guy in a polka dot tie
    A smart international spy
    Found his get-up was lame
    It was always the same
    And soon it was his time to die

  31. Steve T says:

    A man in a polka dot tie
    Had never been caught in a lie,
    Now Congress is hoppin’
    His power they’re stoppin’
    He said, “What a good boy am I”.

  32. Evan Griffin says:

    A man in a polka dot tie,
    Caused a lot of people to stare.
    But little did they know,
    It was made from old underwear.