Posts Tagged ‘Fashion Verse’

Out Of Whack Fashion (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 25th, 2017

Headline of the Day: “For $425, Nordstrom will sell you a pair of dirty jeans.”

Pricey fashion (to me) doesn’t track,
And much of it makes my jaws slack,
Such as pre-muddied jeans;
Yes, people with means
Can buy ’em at Nordstrom, alack!

“No Bra Day” Ode

Tuesday, July 8th, 2014

“No Bra Day” Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Today is “No Bra Day.” Oh my!
But just ONE braless day? Won’t comply
With the custom of binding
Our breasts. I’m not minding
Those rules. I declare, “Let them fly!”

UPDATE: In addition to being celebrated on July 9th, No Bra Day is also celebrated on October 13.

(For more bra humor, here’s my Wonderbra Song Parody.)

Limerick Ode To Tweed Day (April 3)

Thursday, April 3rd, 2014

Limerick Ode To Tweed Day (April 3)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though it’s “Tweed Day,” don’t rush to conclude
It’s a fabric allusion — that’s skewed,
For I’ve just gotten word
That this day, April 3rd,
Is a birthday — Boss Tweed’s — sleazy dude!

Yet Another Invention For Boobs (Limerick)

Friday, January 11th, 2013

Every time CES rolls around, we’re bombarded with another slew of silly inventions. And CES 2013 is no exception.

I’ve already versified about the Smarter Socks app for hard-to-sort socks. But today I found an even more ridiculous invention: The WineRack Bra:

Turn an A cup in to double Ds AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends!

Better than a Boob Job and Cheaper Too! Not to mention the savings on over priced drinks.

We developed The Winerack to “Fill Out” our product line if you will. The picture shown here is of our good friend Drea, who is NOT, no offense Drea, Well Endowed. Sporting the Winerack and Voila’ Drea’s giving Pamela Anderson a run for the money.

Take a bottle of wine, a mixed drink or even a fifth of your favorite hard stuff to the movies, concerts, ball games, even PTA meetings. Sporting a rack that will turn heads and serving a beverage that will have guys standing in line for a sip of your secret stash!

With simple blow into the tube it’s easy to keep that full look even as you drink from your secret stash.

This cries out for a limerick, don’t you think?

Yet Another Invention For Boobs (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s another demented invention:
A bra to enhance each dimension
Of your breasts using wine.
Sip your bra while you dine?
Both sexy and oh so thirst quenchin’.

(In case you missed it many years ago, here are my Wonderbra Song Parody lyrics, which you could sing to “Miracle of Miracles” from “Fiddler on the Roof”.)

There’s An App For WHAT??? (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

Just when you think a problem is unsolvable, a creative company comes up with a solution. I’m referring, of course, to Smarter Socks which, we’re told, “makes sorting socks child’s play” through “interaction between the socks with a communication button, the Sock Sorter and an iPhone app.”

What would Seinfeld have to say about this?

There’s An App For WHAT??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you find that your socks keep cavorting
And consorting with strangers, your sorting
Can be helped with an app:
Smarter Socks fill the gap
When your laundering skills need supporting.

UPDATE: Alternatively, you could ditch the app and celebrate No Socks Day 365 days a year.

Blue Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, December 16th, 2012

In light of Friday’s Connecticut tragedy, I’m offering you an alternative: You may write a limerick related to the shootings, using any first line. Next week I’ll present an extra award — one for the best limerick regarding this tragedy.

And now, getting back to my regular Sunday challenge: It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who always wore blue…*

or

A fellow who always wore blue…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Blue Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who always wore blue
Joined a group where just navy would do
She liked turquoise and teal
And saw aqua’s appeal.
But her militant view? Navy — Ew!

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Nobby Limerick

Thursday, December 6th, 2012

I learned a new word today: Nobby, which means elegant and stylish. Please don’t dress me down for using it in a limerick:

Nobby Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A chic woman arrived in the lobby
Of a shop that was known to be snobby.
But its nobby couture
Held for her no allure:
Sky-high hems don’t suit knees that are knobby.

UPDATE: October 22 is National Knee Day.

The Face Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, July 22nd, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who fell on her face…*

or

A fellow who fell on his face…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

The Face Of Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who fell on her face
When she tripped on her wedding gown lace,
Brought a lawsuit immense.
Here’s the gown shop’s defense:
“A trip down the aisle ain’t a race.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Trendy Men, Heal Thyselves! (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 18th, 2011

For those of you who visit this blog to keep up with trends, here’s the latest: High heels for men.

Trendy Men, Heal Thyselves! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

High heels worn by men on the rise?
I’m warning you guys, that ain’t wise.
It’s painful, unhealthy—
Makes foot doctors wealthy.
Spike this trend ere it reaches new highs.

Flaring Verse (Limerick and Haiku)

Tuesday, October 4th, 2011

Jenn’s haiku theme this week is flare. So I decided to have some homonym fun, writing a flair limerick and a flare haiku:

A woman who dressed with much flair,
Wearing clothes I for one would not dare,
One morning looked odd—
Neither stylish, nor mod—
Alas, she was utterly bare.

*****

When bad tempers flare,
they tend to bare* grievances
best left buried.

*****

*In my haiku, I changed bear to bare after my husband Mark pointed out my error. Since I’m always pointing out his errors, Mark really enjoyed this. :)

Looking Askance (Limerick)

Thursday, July 28th, 2011

Looking Askance (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was looking askance
At a hoofer she spotted by chance.
He danced by the book.
So why the odd look?
The fellow was wearing no pants.

UPDATE: Happy International Dance Day! (April 29th)

Stylish Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, March 6th, 2011

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal who took pride in her style…

or

A man who took pride in his style…

Here’s mine:

Stylish Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal who took pride in her style
Had a temper quite terribly vile.
When asked if her dress
Came from Buy It For Less,
Her screams could be heard for a mile.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Decomposed Limerick

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

This isn’t a formal Limerick-Off. But feel free to “borrow” my first line, if you’re so inclined.

Decomposed Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal who was putting on airs
Kept attracting a great many stares.
It seems that her dress
Under strain and duress
Had split on her way down the stairs.

While her garb suffered decomposition,
She appeared not to know her condition.
She assumed that those glances
Were ill-bred advances —
Not gapes at her clothing’s attrition.

Dotty Men

Wednesday, July 28th, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A guy in a polka dot tie…

Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.):

Dotty Men
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A guy in a polka dot tie
Felt stylish, though heaven knows why.
His jacket was garish.
His pants were nightmarish.
And non-matching sneakers — oh my!

Yet he sat around mocking the gals
With some equally odd-looking pals.
“She’s too thin. She’s too fat.”
“She’s an ugly old bat.”
Can’t imagine their warped rationales.

Why do fellows behave in that way —
Scorning gals who look cuter than they?
Do they all need a shrink?
I sure hope they don’t think
It will lead to a roll in the hay.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Limerick Ode To Cher

Sunday, May 2nd, 2010

Sorry to have been so quiet lately. I’ve been traveling — family stuff in Dallas, followed by a wonderful vacation in Las Vegas.

Here’s the first in a short series of limerick show reviews:

Limerick Ode To Cher
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The singer and actress named Cher
Looks amazingly good nearly bare.
Her singing is great.
Her show is first rate.
And costumes? Elton John should beware.

Shoo, Heels!

Wednesday, January 6th, 2010

I’m short. Five-foot-zero, to be specific. But I never wear heels. Okay, I do have one pair of special-occasion shoes with a one-inch heel. Does that even count?

I forswore high heels way back in my early twenties. Why? Isn’t it obvious? Because they hurt! Besides, even if I braved three-inch heels, I’d still be really short. Plus I’ve never thought teetering was all that sexy.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Shoo, Heels!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m short, but wear flats — never heels.
Cuz they hurt. Gals, you know how it feels.
So my word to height seekers:
Just give me some sneakers,
Or flip flops, or better yet — wheels.

Not-So-Stylish Limerick

Monday, October 20th, 2008

Not-So-Stylish Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’ll admit that I’m not into clothes.
And I don’t follow style, heaven knows.
My apparel’s so old
It’s back “in”— so I’m told.
I’m half-tempted to strike up a pose.

You can find more style verse here.

Crafty Verse (Limerick & Haiku Prompt)

Wednesday, August 20th, 2008

A new limerick, haiku, and senryu prompt (at long last) whose theme is jewelry, crafts, and engagements.  First, my limerick:

Engagement Bling
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“I’m engaged,” said the gal to her mom.
“I’m in love and I’m marrying Tom.”
“But I don’t see a ring,”
Said her mom.  “Get some bling.
Until then, I intend to stay calm.”

And now my haiku (senryu):

Craft show earrings
Once adorned the riverfront
And now grace my lobes.

Now, of course, it’s your turn. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to write some verse about jewelry, crafts, or engagements. When you’ve posted your poem(s), please return here and add a direct link to your themed poetry, using Mr. Linky. There’s no rush, by the way, because you have until September 5th to post it.

Limerick and Haiku Prompts Participants     

1. Lilibeth
2. Random Short Stories
3. Crafty Green Poet
4. Linda – Nickers and Ink
5. Shannon
6. Granny Smith

UPDATE: Mr. Linky is now closed, but you can still add links to your jewelry, crafts, and engagement-related verse in the Comments. And if you’d like to participate in a new poetry prompt, you can always find my latest one here.

UPDATE 2: National Jewel Day is March 13th.