Posts Tagged ‘Inventions Poem’

Dare I Praise Plastic? (Limerick)

Saturday, April 21st, 2018

Isn’t plastic a nifty invention?
It has too many uses to mention.
Though a handy synthetic,
It’s also cosmetic,
Which explains why it’s still in ascension.

Note: But please RECYCLE!

Barbed Limerick

Monday, January 18th, 2016

Happy birthday to barbed wire’s inventor, Joseph Farwell Glidden. (Jan. 18, 1813-Oct. 9, 1906)

If you’d like to stop exit or entry,
Barbed wire can act as your sentry.
This invention by Glidden
Blocks people unbidden–
Quite handy for rich, landed gentry.

Limerick Ode To Drinking Straw Day (Jan. 3)

Saturday, January 2nd, 2016

Few inventions inspire my awe,
But I’m rather impressed with the straw.
Sucking liquid through tubes
Is suggestive of lubes…
Although straw men still stick in my craw.

(National Drinking Straw Day is celebrated on January 3, in honor of Marvin Stone’s January 3, 1888 patent.)

Limerick Ode To Galileo’s Telescope

Thursday, December 3rd, 2015

A celebratory limerick for Telescope Day.

Galileo perfected in spades
The magnificent gadget that aids
Us in viewing the stars
And the planets, like Mars.
Of course, NOW we need curtains and shades.

Limerick Ode To The Pencil Sharpener (3-Verse)

Monday, November 23rd, 2015

Did anyone else love sharpening pencils as a child? I was reminded of this favorite ritual of mine, when I learned that today’s the anniversary of John Lee Love’s small, portable “Love Sharpener” patent.

Limerick Ode To The Pencil Sharpener
By Madeleine Begun Kane

As a youngster, I’d take much delight
In my writing tools, shiny and bright.
This is how I’d begin:
I’d stick pencils within
A small sharp’ner, my point-making rite.

How I’d rotate each pencil and stare
At its shavings, while taking great care.
And here’s what I’d ask
In my ritual task:
“Please pencil, don’t break. Don’t you dare!”

Cuz turning too much takes its toll
When the pointiest point is your goal.
But I learned over time:
Pencil points quite sublime
Can be Lovingly carved in that hole.

Not Panting To Wear Jeans (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 20th, 2015

I find jeans to be patently uncomfortable. But I’m dutifully celebrating the birthday of its patent — granted to Levi Strauss and Jacob Davis on May 20th, 1873:

Call them denims or jeans — I don’t care–
That’s one garment I simply won’t wear.
I don’t buy the appeal
Of its look or its feel,
And I’d rather go naked. Don’t stare!

Limerick Ode to the Zipper (National Zipper Day: April 29)

Wednesday, April 29th, 2015

Limerick Ode to the Zipper (Zipper Day: April 29)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’ll bet Gideon Sundback felt chipper
When designing the modern-day zipper–
An invention surpassin’
The old ways to fasten…
And a slick trick to hook a big tipper.

Genius? Or Half-Baked? (Limerick)

Saturday, July 19th, 2014

Harvard students cook up another great idea: cake from a can.

Genius? Or Half-Baked? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Kindly can any concept of cake
That you spray from a can and then bake.
Though I’m loath to be curt,
I’ll desert a dessert
That spews forth from a can. Won’t partake!

Would You Waste Your Bread On This?

Friday, July 18th, 2014

Would You Waste Your Bread On This?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Are you burning for your photo
To appear on toasted bread?
Do you sense that such a portrait
Might just help you get ahead?

Well, a spanking new invention
May be just the thing you need:
There’s a selfie-making toaster.
Butter egos … and then feed.

This Invention Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test (Limerick)

Saturday, June 14th, 2014

This Invention Doesn’t Pass The Smell Test (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m vexed and a little perplexed
By the concept of smells sent by text.
I do not mean to vent,
But don’t send me a scent,
Or our friendship is apt to be exed.

(Harvard engineering professor David Edwards and co-inventor Rachel Fields have invented an aromatic mobile messaging device called an oPhone that sends and receives scents.)

Limerick Ode To The Stove

Wednesday, June 11th, 2014

Limerick Ode To The Stove
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A stove is a handy device.
For cooking, some say, it works nice.
I can’t speak to that fact,
For I don’t interact
Well with kitchens. I can, though, boil rice.

Today in Kitchen History: On June 11, 1793, Robert Haeterick was granted the first American stove patent for a stove design of cast iron.

Limerick Ode To the ATM

Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

Limerick Ode To The ATM
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The money withdrawing machine
Is a temptress that often seems keen
On increasing our spending.
My balance needs mending!
Oh, what has become of my green?

Happy birthday to Don Wetzel’s Automated Teller Machine! (A patent for the ATM was granted to Donald Wetzel, Tom Barnes and George Chastain on June 4, 1973.)

Limerick Ode To The Shopping Cart

Wednesday, June 4th, 2014

Limerick Ode To The Shopping Cart
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Sylvan Goldman designed something smart;
He invented the food shopping cart.
With its basket, it aids
In a task that pervades
All our lives — buying stuff at the mart.

On June 4, 1937, Humpty Dumpty supermarket chain owner Sylvan Goldman introduced his invention, the shopping cart, in Oklahoma City.

The invention did not catch on immediately. Men found them effeminate; women found them suggestive of a baby carriage. “I’ve pushed my last baby buggy,” offended women informed him. After hiring several male and female models to push his new invention around his store and demonstrate their utility, as well as greeters to explain their use, his folding-style shopping carts became extremely popular and Goldman became a multimillionaire by collecting a royalty on every folding design shopping cart in the United States.

Birthday Ode to Alexander Graham Bell

Monday, March 3rd, 2014

Happy birthday Mr. Bell! (March 3, 1847 – August 2, 1922)

Birthday Ode to Alexander Graham Bell (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Happy birthday, dear Alex Graham Bell.
As the telephone’s father, you’re swell.
I shall try not to hold
You to blame for the cold
Way we’re tortured by phone voicemail hell.

I’m Not Hooked On This Patent (Limerick)

Thursday, November 7th, 2013

Here’s an invention we could have done nicely without: On November 7, 1876, the cigarette manufacturing machine was patented by Albert H. Hook.

I’m Not Hooked On This Patent (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A patent that now seems obscene
For the cigarette making machine
Has a birthday today.
Albert Hook paved the way,
Hooking people on cigs to make green.

Limerick Ode to the Corkscrew

Wednesday, March 27th, 2013

Happy anniversary to the corkscrew! On March 27, 1860, New Yorker M.L. Byrn patented a corkscrew design. “It was T-shaped, based on gadgets that had long been used to extract bullets stuck in the muzzles of guns. Corkscrews had been around before Byrn’s invention, but his design became the standard in America for decades.”

Limerick Ode To The Corkscrew
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Make a toast to a corking invention–
An aid in removing our tension.
Does your life feel screwed up?
Need some sips with your sup?
Then give praise for the corkscrew’s ascension.

Fashion Success … or Washout? (Limerick)

Friday, January 18th, 2013

Have I got an invention for you: Moisturizing jeans!

Yes, according to at least one jeans manufacturer, denim dries out your skin. Unless, of course, you wear THEIR product: Wrangler’s “Denim Spa” jeans.

I swear that I’m not pulling your leg.

Fashion Success … or Washout? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dreadful news for the dungaree-set,
Of a threat that may just make you sweat:
Denim dries out your skin!
That’s where “Spa” jeans fit in:
Rehydration’s their claim — sounds all wet!

Yet Another Invention For Boobs (Limerick)

Friday, January 11th, 2013

Every time CES rolls around, we’re bombarded with another slew of silly inventions. And CES 2013 is no exception.

I’ve already versified about the Smarter Socks app for hard-to-sort socks. But today I found an even more ridiculous invention: The WineRack Bra:

Turn an A cup in to double Ds AND sport your favorite beverage for yourself and your friends!

Better than a Boob Job and Cheaper Too! Not to mention the savings on over priced drinks.

We developed The Winerack to “Fill Out” our product line if you will. The picture shown here is of our good friend Drea, who is NOT, no offense Drea, Well Endowed. Sporting the Winerack and Voila’ Drea’s giving Pamela Anderson a run for the money.

Take a bottle of wine, a mixed drink or even a fifth of your favorite hard stuff to the movies, concerts, ball games, even PTA meetings. Sporting a rack that will turn heads and serving a beverage that will have guys standing in line for a sip of your secret stash!

With simple blow into the tube it’s easy to keep that full look even as you drink from your secret stash.

This cries out for a limerick, don’t you think?

Yet Another Invention For Boobs (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s another demented invention:
A bra to enhance each dimension
Of your breasts using wine.
Sip your bra while you dine?
Both sexy and oh so thirst quenchin’.

(In case you missed it many years ago, here are my Wonderbra Song Parody lyrics, which you could sing to “Miracle of Miracles” from “Fiddler on the Roof”.)

There’s An App For WHAT??? (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 9th, 2013

Just when you think a problem is unsolvable, a creative company comes up with a solution. I’m referring, of course, to Smarter Socks which, we’re told, “makes sorting socks child’s play” through “interaction between the socks with a communication button, the Sock Sorter and an iPhone app.”

What would Seinfeld have to say about this?

There’s An App For WHAT??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you find that your socks keep cavorting
And consorting with strangers, your sorting
Can be helped with an app:
Smarter Socks fill the gap
When your laundering skills need supporting.

UPDATE: Alternatively, you could ditch the app and celebrate No Socks Day 365 days a year.

A Sax Tale

Saturday, November 3rd, 2012

A Sax Tale
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A blowhard musician named Rand
Played sax (not too well) in a band.
He’d blow solos, yet boast.
Now he’s finally toast—
The leader, at last, took a stand.

UPDATE: November 6 is Saxophone Day, in honor of inventor Adolphe Sax’s birthday in 1814.