In my latest limerick, I condemn yet another holiday:
It is “Chocolates Day.” I decry it!
Only ONE day a year? I don’t buy it!
So let’s sweeten the deal:
“Choc’lates Month” would, I feel,
Surely spice up each meal. Kindly try it.
Posts Tagged ‘November Holidays’
What’s There To Love About “Chocolates Day?”
Monday, November 29th, 2021Limerick Ode To The Horse
Tuesday, November 16th, 2021Happy “Horse Appreciation Day!” (November 16)
I wouldn’t dare ride on a horse.
My back couldn’t take it, of course.
But please do not feast
On that beautiful beast.
Eat horse-meat? Then brace to face force.
A Clarinet Tale (Limerick)
Tuesday, November 16th, 2021Happy “World Clarinet Day!” (November 16)
A woman who played clarinet,
Used vibrato; I’ll never forget,
Cuz the maestro freaked out;
“You’re ousted!”– his shout.
Now she can’t get a gig on a bet.
(For those unfamiliar with the clarinet vibrato issue, clarinet vibrato is generally considered a symphony orchestra no-no, but it’s used in jazz and klezmer music. However, when a symphony orchestra plays something with a jazz influence, such as Gershwin, the occasional exception is made.)
Are Drums Humdrum? (Limerick)
Monday, November 15th, 2021Just in time for “National Drummer Day!” (November 15)
A kazoo’s used to alter your humming
With a dull, buzzy drone that’s mind-numbing.
So I’m NOT a big fan,
But won’t call for a ban,
Cuz at least it’s less irksome than drumming.
Limerick Ode To Science
Wednesday, November 10th, 2021A silly limerick to celebrate “World Science Day.” (November 10)
I’m bewildered by scholarly articles
About physics and virtual particles.
Since I’m dense about science,
I’m prone to reliance
On lim’ricks to bolster my smarticles.
Longing For A Bong (Limerick)
Wednesday, November 10th, 2021Happy Bong Day! (November 10)
A singer who longed for a bong
(Though it’s bad for her voice and so wrong)
Called a seller she knew.
They met up at the zoo,
Where a bongload was bought for a song.
Limerick Ode To Cappuccino
Monday, November 8th, 2021Happy “Cappuccino Day!” Of course, I celebrate it EVERY day.
Cappuccino’s my drink — two or three
Ev’ry day, rain or shine, made by ME.
Others make it all wrong;
Much too bitter and strong.
As for Starbucks, not MY cup of tea.
Happy “Abet and Aid Punsters Day!” (Limerick)
Monday, November 8th, 2021Today, November 8, is “Abet and Aid Punsters Day.” So I thought I’d celebrate with a limerick, even though it should really be called “Aid and Abet Punsters Day.”
Though punsters are often accorded
Acclaim for their skill and awarded
Applause for their verse,
Sometimes even a purse,
Grinches bitch that their wordplay is sordid.
Celebrating Sax (Limerick)
Saturday, November 6th, 2021Happy “Sax Day!” And happy birthday to Adolphe Sax, its inventor! (November 6)
A horny musician named Phil
When flirting would trumpet his skill.
But he mispronounced “sax,”
The name of his ax,
So his chance of romance went downhill.
Limerick Ode To “Love Your Lawyer Day” (1st Friday of November)
Friday, November 5th, 2021A lawyer was cooling his heels,
Awaiting the Court of Appeals.
A ruling was due
Any day — one he’d rue:
Soon in prison he’ll take all his meals.
Happy “Love Your Lawyer Day!
“Stress Awareness Day?” Who Needs It? (Limerick) (1st Wednesday of November)
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2021“International Stress Awareness Day” is stressing me out:
Some holidays ought not exist;
“Stress Awareness Day’s” high my list.
Since I’m frequently stressed,
“Bewareness” is best.
So forget that damn day! I insist!
Are Limericks Good For Your Health?
Sunday, May 12th, 2019A lim’rick a day keeps away
The doctor — at least, so they say.
Well okay, I’ll concede
I invented that lede,
But it sure beats that “apple” cliché!
UPDATE: Happy Cliché Day, November 3rd!
Limerick Ode To Stout Day (1st Thursday of November)
Thursday, November 1st, 2018While I don’t drink stout (or any sort of beer, ale, lager, etc.) I couldn’t resist celebrating “International Stout Day” with a limerick:
A patient whose ailment was gout,
Was informed that he drank too much stout.
The fellow turned pale,
As he yelled “I need ale!
“Downing beer is what living’s about.”
Limerick Ode To Toilet Paper Day
Saturday, August 27th, 2016For folks in a tight money squeeze,
Don’t raise the bath tissue price, please.
Though it’s paper-made true,
This factor I rue:
Bathroom tissue does NOT grow on trees.
A belated National Toilet Paper Day. (Aug. 26)
*****
UPDATE: The United Nations celebrates “World Toilet Day” on November 19.
Don’t Tell Anybody, But…
Friday, November 13th, 2015I’ve heard a little rumor
That it’s “Start A Rumor Day”
From some scuttlebutting boomer.
Let’s hold gossiping at bay.
Pretend I did not tell you
Of this holiday, absurd.
Please don’t let my news impel you
To repeat it. Not a word!
Limerick Ode To Bagpipe Appreciation Day (July 27)
Monday, July 27th, 2015Limerick Ode To Bagpipe Appreciation Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane
A spy was perturbed by the drone
From some bagpipes, a mind-numbing tone.
Though he wanted to pound
The source of that sound,
He held back, lest his cover be blown.
*****
UPDATE: November 19 is “National Blow Bagpipes Day.”
Thanksgiving Limerick
Thursday, November 27th, 2014Thanksgiving Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
I should really stop singing the blues
And bemoaning the terrible news
And, instead, send this greeting:
At least we are eating;
Many people lack roof, food, and shoes.
Limerick Ode To Greedy Stores
Tuesday, November 25th, 2014Limerick Ode To Greedy Stores
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Don’t reward greedy, cynical stores
For behaving like gluttonous whores:
If they’re open on days
Like Thanksgiving, it pays
To shop elsewhere. Don’t walk through their doors!
******
A Companion Haiku:
Stores, be on notice:
Open doors on Thanksgiving?
Brace for a boycott.
******
