Posts Tagged ‘Smoking Humor’

Kick Butts Day Limerick

Wednesday, March 18th, 2015

Today, March 18, is Kick Butts Day.

Kick Butts Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Today is the day to kick butts.
No ifs, ands, or buts — smoking’s nuts!
For the cig rut’s a yoke
That can kill you — no joke!
So though quitting’s a drag, show some guts.

I’m Not Hooked On This Patent (Limerick)

Thursday, November 7th, 2013

Here’s an invention we could have done nicely without: On November 7, 1876, the cigarette manufacturing machine was patented by Albert H. Hook.

I’m Not Hooked On This Patent (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A patent that now seems obscene
For the cigarette making machine
Has a birthday today.
Albert Hook paved the way,
Hooking people on cigs to make green.

Limerick Bar (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, July 7th, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who worked at a bar…*

or

A woman was holding a bar…*

or

A woman decided to bar…*

or

A dancer who stretched at the barre…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Bar
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman decided to bar
Cigarette smoking folks from her car.
“This must be a joke,”
Said her husband. “I smoke,
So our marriage ain’t going too far.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Stop Smoking, Already! (Limerick)

Thursday, May 30th, 2013

Here’s a limerick to celebrate World No Tobacco Day. (May 31st)

Stop Smoking, Already!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Please stop smoking already. Don’t dicker.
Tobacco will end your life quicker.
Have a heart, as I air
This advice, cuz I care:
Be kind to your lungs and your ticker.

Weeding Out Crazy Lawsuits (Outdoor Smoking Ban Limerick)

Saturday, September 1st, 2007

As a result of a neighbor’s lawsuit, a Swedish woman can no longer smoke in most of her garden. (And you thought the United States was a litigious country.)

Stockholm – A Swedish woman has been banned by court order from smoking in large parts of her own garden following a complaint from a neighbour…

… The neighbour, a lawyer, filed the complaint with the court in Vaxjo, in southern Sweden, saying he was obliged to wear a mask in his garden when the neighbour lit up.

Weeding Out Crazy Lawsuits (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A cig-hating fellow from Sweden
Sued a gal cause she smoked during weedin’.
Now smoking’s been banned
On much of her land.
What’s next? Litigation o’er readin’?