Happy Chia Day! (March 23)
Gastric issues? Some recommend chia.
It might help; at least that’s the idea
To avoid constipation.
But measure your ration
Cuz ALSO not fun: DIARRHEA!
Happy Chia Day! (March 23)
Gastric issues? Some recommend chia.
It might help; at least that’s the idea
To avoid constipation.
But measure your ration
Cuz ALSO not fun: DIARRHEA!
The dentist belonged to a faction
That would mouth off in ev’ry transaction.
One could never extract
Any manners or tact
From the man, which is why he’s in traction.
National Dentist’s Day is celebrated annually on March 6.
Is age just a number? Who knows?
Some say “yes.” Others suff’ring the woes
Of senescence will wage
A war against age,
To disguise the “gifts” aging bestows.
Happy Age Is Just A Number Day! (March 22)
Since it’s “French Language Day…” (March 20)
I once could speak French, but no more.
All its words fled my brain, though j’adore
Their pure tone — très charmant,
Which is just what I want
In la langue. Quel dommage mine’s so poor!
We’re off to a nice Bayside pub,
Where Mark will eat Irish-type grub.
I’ll eschew all the food,
But will alter my mood
Through libations — a spiritous sub.
A genius who’s famed for his brain,
Won’t deign to do chores. They’re his bane.
So he’ll handily coax
Help from generous folks;
His true gift’s palming off the mundane.
Happy Genius Day! (March 14)
Though it’s “Skirt Day,” I’d rather wear pants,
Whether walking or trying to dance.
I’ll ponder and pause,
Lest I feature my flaws —
Flaws that skirts simply love to enhance.
“You’re moving too much. Please hold still,”
Said a seamstress while sewing a frill
On a dress that was drab
And would never be fab,
Though it WOULD yield a fabulous bill.
Happy Dress Day! (March 6)
It’s risky when parents show flair
In naming their child, so beware!
If you pick a bad name,
You may shoulder the blame
And the cost of a therapist’s stare.
Happy Celebrate Your Name Week (1st full week of March.)
A doctor would frequently treat
His patients as if they were meat.
“My patients are pigs,”
He’d proclaim from his digs
Near a farm, which was piglet replete.
Happy National Pig Day!
Oh brother! It’s Brothers Day. Wow!
I’ve got me a good one. And how!
With a heart off the chart
Arthur (now known as Art)
Is unrivaled. Please Art, take a bow.
Brothers Day (May 24) is actually meant to celebrate the bond between brothers. But since I missed Brother And Sister Day on March 26, and Siblings Day on April 10, this will have to do.
March 24 is International Day For Achievers.
To the “Day for Achievers,” say “Nay!”
It’s superfluous! Nix the hurray!
Why let praise-swelled heads spread?
My proposal, instead:
Let’s give UNDERachievers their day.
It’s essential to celebrate smells–
Just the good ones, of course; Nothing quells
A good mood like a stink,
Which might possibly shrink
The terrain where your fella’s brain dwells.
Happy National Fragrance Day! (March 21)
While in law school I’d frequently curse
My poor mem’ry, which now’s become worse.
And this ain’t just a riff;
I’ll be jubilant if
I remember to finish this verse.
Happy Memory Day! (March 21)
On St. Patrick’s Day food I’m not keen.
Its corned beef and cabbage cuisine
Makes my stomach feel queer,
And the same goes for beer.
Partake… and I’ll surely turn green.
Sorry, but I refuse to celebrate “Get Over It” Day. (March 9)
Dear pest, if you’re looking to irk,
Unsolicited counsel will work;
The “get over it” phrase
Is likely to raise
My hackles and drive me berserk.
Today we should celebrate proofreading.
While not fool-proof, it helps avert goof reading.
And, like many, I’m vexed
By typo-strewn text
Found in poetry, fiction, and spoof reading.
Happy National Proofreading Day!
Please don’t be deterred: It’s “Be Heard Day.”
(Some call it a “dumb and absurd day.”)
Being heard’s a great goal.
Staying mum takes its toll.
Don’t convert it to “message deferred” day.
While many admire the spider,
To be candid, I can not abide ’er.
When I spied ’er last night,
I eyed ’er with fright
And begged hubby to please outside guide ’er.
(March 14th is National Save A Spider Day.)
Today, March 18, is Kick Butts Day.
Kick Butts Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Today is the day to kick butts.
No ifs, ands, or buts — smoking’s nuts!
For the cig rut’s a yoke
That can kill you — no joke!
So though quitting’s a drag, show some guts.