Posts Tagged ‘Phone Humor’

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: RING or WRING at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: April 11, 2020)

Saturday, March 28th, 2020

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using RING or WRING at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to FEAR, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best FEAR-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on April 12,2020 right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, April 11, 2020 at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my RING/WRING-rhyme limerick:

If I tell you to “give me a ring,”
Please know I’m not asking for bling.
(That would take lots of gall!)
No, I just want a call…
Though I’d settle for text or a ping.

And here’s my FEAR-themed limerick:

Excess staring can make women fearful;
Especially looks that seem leerful.
And pandemics will boost
The unease that’s induced…
Like right now, I’d prefer someone sneerful.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Birthday Ode to Alexander Graham Bell

Monday, March 3rd, 2014

Happy birthday Mr. Bell! (March 3, 1847 – August 2, 1922)

Birthday Ode to Alexander Graham Bell (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Happy birthday, dear Alex Graham Bell.
As the telephone’s father, you’re swell.
I shall try not to hold
You to blame for the cold
Way we’re tortured by phone voicemail hell.

A Fishy Tale (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 6th, 2013

Yesterday, when I posted this anecdote about my mother-in-law on Facebook, several friends urged me to turn it into a limerick. And so, I’ve done just that. (My limerick is right below the anecdote.)

True story: Sunday night, Mark kept anxiously re-dialing his elderly mother. When she finally answered, her voice sounded very upset as she said, “A terrible thing happened.” Then she paused, as Mark’s heart skipped several beats.

His mother’s next words were: “They stopped making my salmon.”

(She was referring to her favorite canned salmon, which actually is still available, but was out of stock in the two stores she’d been to.)

And now, the limerick:

A Fishy Tale (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Something awful has happened,” she cried,
And then paused. We thought someone had died.
That’s Mark’s mom at her best:
Her horror expressed
About salmon no longer supplied.

When Readings Go From Verse To Worse

Thursday, December 13th, 2012

I was asked to read several limericks at the third annual Los Angeles Limerick Fest Wednesday night, held at the Altadena Ale House. Since I live in New York City, arrangements were made for me to read them via phone.

As you can tell from this limerick, my reading went awry:

When Readings Go From Verse To Worse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Reading limerick verse from afar
Via phone to a mike in a bar
Is a risky affair:
Noise and feedback will blare.
Pass the sidecar. I’m still below par.

My Telemarketer Hang-up (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012

My Telemarketer Hang-up (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My name’s on the “do not call” list,
But our phone rings non-stop, and I’m pissed.
“How’s my energy plan?”
Says a voice — not a man,
But a bot, energetic’ly dissed.

Limerick Ode To Voicemail

Friday, April 15th, 2011

Limerick Ode To Voicemail
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear voicemail, I love and adore you.
And I’m puzzled by those who deplore you.
Oh, the charm of your voices
And all of those choices.
Wait, I’m lying — I really abhor you.

(Related Humor: The Outgoing Message I’d Love To (But Probably Shouldn’t) Leave On My Answering Machine (Limerick))

The Outgoing Message I’d Love To (But Probably Shouldn’t) Leave On My Answering Machine (Limerick)

Friday, May 9th, 2008

The Outgoing Message I’d love To (But Probably Shouldn’t) Leave On My Answering Machine
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Your party can’t come to the phone.
She’s at lunch or home sick.  Please don’t moan.
Leave a message, or not.
I don’t care — I’m a bot.
But my owner says, “Leave me alone!”

(For more phone-related verse, visit Sunday Scribblings.)

UPDATE: Happy National Inane Answering Machine Message Day! (January 30th)

UPDATE 2: April 25 is National Telephone Day.