The Face Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who fell on her face…*


A fellow who fell on his face…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

The Face Of Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who fell on her face
When she tripped on her wedding gown lace,
Brought a lawsuit immense.
Here’s the gown shop’s defense:
“A trip down the aisle ain’t a race.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

83 Responses to “The Face Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Paul Dickey says:

    I’d say Ann Romney fell on her face
    when she tried to muster queenly grace
    and called us all peasants
    in our very own presence
    on our way to the polling place.

  2. A fellow who fell on his face
    As he staggered around second base,
    Muttered, “Man, it’s a drag
    When you trip on the bag
    After boasting to all of your grace.”

  3. A fellow who fell on his face
    Was considered the family disgrace.
    He was heard to mutter,
    As he lay in the gutter,
    I feel more at home in this place.

  4. kaykuala says:

    A woman who fell on her face.
    Crumbled in a heap without grace
    Stiletto heels
    Was a steal
    Wearing it she had learnt not to race


  5. K. McGee says:

    I’m not sure I got every stress correct, but here it goes.

    A woman who fell on her face.
    With other poets she couldn’t keep pace,
    But she did what she could,
    And hoped they understood;
    The web is a very big place.

  6. Al Hood says:

    A fellow who fell on his face
    “Cause he just couldn’t keep up the pace
    Was said to have cried
    “My shoe came untied”
    “Can we please just restart the race?”

  7. John Sardo says:

    A fellow who fell on his face
    Drank scotch before his big race
    At the end of a mile
    He collapsed with a smile
    Ah, the bottle he held in a loving embrace.

    A woman who fell on her face
    Felt ashamed of her act of disgrace
    In a moment of stupor
    She brought home a trooper
    Saying honey my virtue I’ll gladly misplace.

  8. Al Hood says:

    A rich lady fell on her face
    While holding a Ming Dynasty vase
    And it broke into pieces
    Like so many Reeses
    So now she’s a basket case.

  9. Al Hood says:

    A masher fell on his face
    After getting a eye full of mace
    Said to her as he hurried
    To his feet and then scurried
    “Let’s pretend that this never took place”

  10. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow who fell on his face
    Did so to solve his case
    With one simple look
    He found the crook
    Who strangled her lover with her shoe lace

  11. A woman who fell on her face
    Crossed the finish line last during the race
    They asked for her number
    She replied, “I’m no runner.
    I thought that we were being chased.”

  12. Kathleen Cole says:

    A woman who fell on her face
    Suffered more public disgrace
    By insistence so loud,
    “You People…” crowd
    Your betters for truth in a political race!

  13. Patti says:

    A hungry boy’s mom fell on her face
    As the boy hurried, she tried to keep pace
    Then her bad knee went out
    And she went down with a shout
    Kerplunk! with not one whit of grace.

    Dress a mess, mom was now flat on her face
    Exposing quite a bit of her satin and lace
    Her red-faced son was appalled
    “How could you? Not here at the mall!
    Now can I please have a burger and shake?”

  14. John Blackwell says:

    A woman who fell on her face
    Was thought a dreadful disgrace
    While one in a bank
    Who made savings tank
    Waltzed off in satin and lace.

  15. Craig says:

    The graduate shielded his face
    From the couple’s impassioned embrace
    As they sweated and thrusted
    He said, quite disgusted,
    “You win, Mom – I’ll get my own place.”

  16. scott says:

    A woman who fell on her face,
    was blocking the sole parking place.
    So I used her crack,
    as a bicycle rack.
    The tire fit right in the space.

  17. Craig says:

    A smile crossed the shepherd boy’s face
    As his bride dressed in nothing but lace
    “I shall start a new life
    With my beautiful wife
    But I’ll bring a ewe, too, just in case.”

  18. Veralynne says:

    A woman who fell on her face
    Popped up with style and with grace
    But her heart was a-pounding–
    Toward hiding she went a-bounding.
    Any dignity left? Not a trace!

  19. Veralynne says:

    The sailor had fallen from grace
    With the sea as he’d not kept apace
    With the others who’d run
    The regatta, every one
    Had finished before him in the race.

  20. Craig says:

    Said Jack, as a smile crossed his face
    “My straight flush makes me King of this place!”
    Said the Queen: “My flush Royal”
    (According to Hoyle)
    “Means you lose – you may now kiss my Ace!”

  21. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow was slapped in the face,
    As he tried to secure second base.
    Now red faced and sore,
    With no chance to score,
    He was thankful she didn’t use mace.

  22. John Blackwell says:

    A woman who fell on her face
    When young in a far time and place
    And then on her back
    In Romeo’s sack
    Found love in a tragic embrace.

  23. Jesse Levy says:

    A fellow who fell on his face,
    felt a feeling he just couldn’t place.
    But the feeling was fleet.
    A fink tied up his feet.
    First he should have looked down on his lace.

  24. Ken S says:


    A fellow who fell on his face,
    was sure to be passed in the race.
    So he bared his ass,
    and began to pass gas.
    and now he wins at his own pace.

  25. Lee Magilow says:

    A fellow who fell on his face
    while trying to get to first base
    was not as dismayed
    nor his pride disarrayed
    so much as his mouth full of lace.

  26. Diane Groothuis says:

    A lady who fell on her face
    Was seeking some quiet private space
    She could read the newspapers
    Have a fit of the vapours
    And do it all at her own pace.

  27. A fellow who fell on his face
    In a fervid mad dash to first base
    Had not been at bat—he
    Had lost cotton candy
    To a gust, left his seat, and gave chase.

  28. John Larkin says:

    A fellow who fell flat on his face
    at the end of a spirited chase,
    said, “Tell no one you caught me
    for this falling has brought me
    from glory to lowly disgrace.”

  29. Ira Bloom says:

    From his plate, a drunk, fallen on face,
    Quipped: “This gravy’s a fine, private place.”
    Some gals there, I know it,
    Thought him quite the poet,
    But none, I think, did him embrace.

  30. A camper who fell on his face
    When a bear from his privy gave chase
    Had two cheeks in the ground
    And two—white and round—
    Facing up at the stars out in space.

  31. A feller who fell on his face
    While a gun-totin’ farmer gave chase
    About-faced, said, “I oughter
    Do right by yer daughter
    ‘Counta we’s done been gone to home base.”

  32. The hacker had no interface
    When the quarry to which he gave chase
    Said, “No open port—
    You’re just not the sort
    I’d let query my sweet database.”

  33. A climber once scaled the north face
    Of a butte in whose icy embrace—
    So cold and so frigid—
    He went stiff AND unrigid:
    ‘Tween a rock and a not-so-hard place.

  34. Edmund Conti says:

    A woman who fell on her face
    Was too drunk to acknowledge disgrace.
    “What’s a lady to do”
    She asked of the crew
    “To get her a drink in this place.”

  35. Edmund Conti says:

    A woman who fell on her face
    Was riding in a steeplechase.
    The horse that she rode
    Said, “What a fat load.
    This track is a dangerous place!”

  36. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow who fell on his face
    Writing limericks in this goddam place
    Said, “Folks have no fear.
    I think I’ll lie here
    Til Line 5 falls nicely in place.”

  37. Diane Groothuis says:

    A young girl who fell on her face
    Embarked on a journey to Thrace
    She took some beef jerky
    And some slices of Turkey
    And packed it all in her suit case.

  38. Craig says:

    A fellow who fell on his face
    After stumbling all over the place
    Said “I [hic!] haabeen thinkin’
    That I’d keep drinkin’
    But I see [hic!] tha’d jus’ be a wase’ “

  39. Linda Fuller says:

    (with apologies)

    Next day, when he tried to save face
    Prince Rainier did his best to erase
    The chambermaid’s chatter
    But the truth of the matter
    Was that he had fallen from Grace.

  40. Mark Megson says:

    A young girl who fell on her face
    Was determined to continue her chase
    Of a man down the street
    Who looked really sweet
    But walked at a much faster pace

  41. Jim says:

    The Accident

    A woman who fell on her face
    she had been sprayed by her own mace
    it wasn’t very nice
    spurned own preacher’s advice
    “O hear ye the Lord saved by grace”
    Also at (Web site above is my FaceBook)

  42. Craig says:

    Disappointment came over her face
    She’d invited four men to her place
    But with one twixt her lips
    And two more twixt her hips
    She said “Frankly, I’ve run out of space.”

  43. Craig says:

    To the giant, she made a stern face:
    “Though you fee, fie and foe at my place,
    This portfolio’s new
    So whatever you do,
    You’d better not fum on my case!”

  44. I’ll try and think of something :)

  45. Bob Dvorak says:

    A woman fell flat on her face
    (Other parts, but I’ll save her some grace).
    Pinning hopes on a diddle
    From him who played fiddle?
    Plucked by callousy hands of the bass.

  46. Bob Dvorak says:

    A fellow once fell on his face:
    Bet it all on a tip, the third race.
    But a slip at the gate
    Killed the edge on the straight.
    Now he saves ten percent just in case.

  47. Bob Dvorak says:

    A fellow fell flat on his face:
    Nothing wild, his four eights a sure case.
    But the guy to his right
    Had the hand of the night;
    Whence he muttered, “Damn pain in the ace.”

  48. Bob Dvorak says:

    A woman once fell on her face
    Getting dressed for the party apace.
    Her troubles began
    With a spritz from a can;
    Not cologne, but emergency mace.

  49. Bruce Niedt says:

    A fellow who fell on his face
    was disqualified from the big race.
    “All those months that I trained,”
    the sad athlete explained,
    “And I just didn’t tie my shoelace.”

  50. Diane Groothuis says:

    That old ewe who fell on her face
    presented a sheepish grimace.
    “Tis a pity” she bleated
    “My Blog is deleted
    And I cannot log onto Ewe-Face”.

  51. Bruce Niedt says:

    A fellow who spewed from his face
    on the radio, was a disgrace,
    as he ripped the credential
    of a man presidential,
    and doubted Obama’s birthplace.

    My roommate fell flat on his face
    in the finals, dropped out with no trace.
    I studied economy
    while he had astronomy –
    I guess he was taking up space.

  52. Sara V says:

    A woman who fell on her face
    Found herself in rags, not lace
    Her slipper was missing
    And the prince she’d been kissing
    Had long given up on the chase

  53. A player once fell on his face
    While diving headlong at home base.
    The catcher, no chump,
    Declared herself ump,
    Said, “You’re out!” And he left in disgrace.

  54. A whore moves to sit on the face
    Of her far-sighted john with such grace
    That the guy, whose a dentist,
    Takes an interest intentest:
    “Indeed, an unusual case!”

  55. Diane Groothuis says:

    A young woman fell on her face
    When a bag – snatcher gave her a chase
    She got up and clobbered
    That darn cheeky robber
    Who then did a swift about face.

  56. Patrick McKeon says:

    A woman who fell on her face
    Avoiding her boyfriend’s embrace
    Called out “Help me up dear”
    But on seeing her rear
    He decided to cut to the chase

  57. brian miller says:

    a man who fell on his face
    was not too quick to give up the race
    again he did rise
    with fire in his eyes
    and went off to find a new place…

  58. Linda Fuller says:

    A fellow who fell on his face
    While practicing marching in place
    Tried motionless standing
    But after crash landing
    Required a full body brace.

  59. Bodhirose says:

    A fellow who fell on his face
    Was running the first time in a race
    He was speeding too fast
    And then fell again, on his ass
    Tripping over his untied shoe lace

  60. Granny Smith says:

    See image of Fragonard’s “The Swing”

    A model who fell on her face,
    From a swing, was too angry for grace.
    “Damn that Fragonard guy!
    Well, he swung me too high
    Just so HE could paint more bits of lace!”

  61. Diane Groothuis says:

    That whore who fell flat on her face
    In a really “unusual case”
    Said “I cannot get on
    With a myopic John
    He’sets his sights on the wrong place”.

  62. Linda Fuller says:

    A fellow who fell on his face
    In a move toward his girl’s second base
    Had quite an outstanding
    And nose-first soft landing
    But smothered within her embrace.

  63. Well, I’m running totally against the time it seems this week – well behind! Yet, here goes, mine!

    A woman who fell on her face
    was running ‘against the time’ race
    She tripped over first obstacle
    making a great spectacle
    Ultimately failing to keep her grace.

    A woman who fell on her face
    was unable to keep up the pace.
    Not following latest trends
    has lost all her cool friends,
    for wearing the curtain lace.

  64. Granny Smith says:

    An astronaut fell on his face
    As he stepped out, returning from space.
    It felt as though gravity
    Dug some sort of cavity
    Just to trip him. “News” filmed his disgrace.

  65. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow who fell on his face
    Would have undergone far less disgrace
    ‘Midst commuter-rush throng
    If his garter and thong
    Hadn’t spilled from his attaché case.

  66. A clock fell hard on it’s face.
    So the numbers were all out of place.
    3 and 12 were shocked
    ‘Cause 6 and 9 were locked
    In a passionate and sexy embrace.

  67. A woman did sit on his face
    To test his cunnilingual grace.
    Some oral pleasure she needed.
    With skill she was treated
    To a scenario most certainly best case.

  68. Johanna Richmond says:

    A scholar who fell on her face
    Forestalled further falling from grace:
    She “Me miseram!”cried,
    After which she took pride
    In her grasp of accusative case.

  69. The Nose Knows

    A woman who fell on her face
    Set highly paid lawyers to chase
    Though it’s true she was phoning
    while driving, she’s moaning,
    “My nose job the docs must replace.”

    © 2012 Amy Barlow Liberatore/Sharp Little Pencil

  70. “The Man Who Fell Flat on his Face”
    May sound like a Sherlock Holmes’ case.
    In fact it’s just Watson
    Who, trying new spats on,
    Forgot to tie up his shoelace!

  71. Athlete who fell on his face,
    has completely lost the pace.
    Stumbling, balance lost
    Sent him flying into the post
    Failed him to qualify for Olympic race.

  72. Diane Groothuis says:

    A Diner fell flat on his face
    While folding his hands to say Grace
    He fell with a splash
    Into bangers and mash
    Peas and gravy all over the place.

  73. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow who fell on his face
    Was puzzled ’cause he’s such an “Ace?”
    But she caught him once cheating,
    Now he’s alone “beating…”
    It seems he has falled from grace.

  74. Johanna Richmond says:

    A churchgoer fell on her face
    But her prayers were rewarded with grace:
    When her knees and her nose
    And the ground came to blows
    Her ass flew to a loftier place.

  75. Granny Smith says:

    A girl who fell flat on her face
    As she rushed down the the stairs to embrace
    The one she had missed.
    She grabbed him and kissed
    Her lost kitten, now back in its place.

    He scratched at her now flattened face,
    Struggled out of that cloying embrace,
    Turned his nose up at dinner,
    That fish she’d thought winner.
    She wailed, “There’s a CAT in Kit’s place!

  76. Diane Groothuis says:

    Nostradamus fell flat on his face
    As he gazed thru his scope into space
    “The way the cards fall
    There is no fun at all
    This earth is a miserable place”.

  77. Diane Groothuis says:

    A streaker fell flat on his face
    And stumbled back home in disgrace
    His “Wiki” was black
    From his unscheduled stack
    So now he’s a pain in the “Ace”.

  78. Johanna Richmond says:

    Mister Romney fell flat on his face;
    At discretion, he’s clearly no ace.
    For an encore, smooth Mitt
    Plans to bitch slap a Brit
    Shouting “Bugger off, Ann’s armed with mace!”

  79. John Sandler says:

    Since “A woman who fell on her face”
    Is a first line, it’s hard to embrace
    As a place to begin.
    (This is limerick sin.)
    One should start with a last line in place.

  80. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    May Monsanto fall flat on its face
    Trying to merge in its corporate greed race
    Coz word is well out
    And consumers, no doubt,
    Will choose goods from a local farmplace

  81. Daisy Mae Simon says:

    Though he did not fall flat on his face
    As first man on the moon up in space
    Armstrong make a slight slip
    ‘Twas his tongue that did trip
    Yet his quote still holds fire under grace.

  82. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Hey Mad!

    The first version of this lim that I posted isn’t formatted correctly (looked fine at 2:30 in the morning). If you would use the following instead, I’d be grateful.

    Thanks, Konrad

    The woman, who fell on her face
    as she clumsily tried to embrace
    the one guy in the garden,
    did not get a pardon.
    She’d none of her God’s saving grace.

  83. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, The Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners! Limerick of the Week 72.

    But you can still have limerick fun because I’ve just posted a new Limerick-Off: Flashy Limerick.