Blue Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

In light of Friday’s Connecticut tragedy, I’m offering you an alternative: You may write a limerick related to the shootings, using any first line. Next week I’ll present an extra award — one for the best limerick regarding this tragedy.

And now, getting back to my regular Sunday challenge: It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who always wore blue…*

or

A fellow who always wore blue…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Blue Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who always wore blue
Joined a group where just navy would do
She liked turquoise and teal
And saw aqua’s appeal.
But her militant view? Navy — Ew!

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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99 Responses to “Blue Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Green Speck says:

    A cat who always wore blue
    Ran across the town “mew mew”
    Chasing the rat
    With the golden hat
    Welcome to Tom and Jerry adventures anew.

  2. Gary Hallock says:

    A woman who always whored, blew
    Some crazy men she never knew
    But she was quite proud
    That she’d never allowed
    One nut to thread onto her screw

  3. Bill Klein says:

    A woman who always wore blue
    Was picky with whom she’d rendezvous
    The frustration was killin’ her
    ‘Til she found the right cylinder
    Now any ‘D’ battery will do

  4. Chris Papa says:

    A woman who always wore blue,
    Patriotic when giving a screw,
    Would hop into bed,
    To give some hot head,
    Then bring out some red and white too.

  5. Claudia says:

    a woman who always wore blue
    met a red-dressed man in a queue
    they connected really quick
    had rainbow colored kids
    and i swear, that story is true…

    haha…smiles…happy sunday madeleine

  6. Eugene Fedorov says:

    A woman who always wore blue
    Was bluestocking from the first view
    And no one was aware
    Of her red underwear
    For it was known only to few…

  7. Craig says:

    The news reports have me so blue
    I would help, but there’s nothing to do.
    I’m not feeling too funny,
    Think I’ll go hug my honey
    And give both my kids a hug, too.

  8. Pat Hatt says:

    A woman who always wore blue
    Met a man without a clue
    He asked for a date
    Right out of the gate
    Hoping to sell Paul Bunons cow for a few

  9. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow took pills nice and blue,
    To insure when needed, it grew.
    This was always a factor,
    For a porno stud actor,
    When asked, “Could he screw right on cue?”

  10. Diane Groothuis says:

    A woman who always wore blue
    Had lunch at a classy venue.
    To the waiter with scorn
    Asked “Is that a prawn?”
    When a creature crawled out of her stew

  11. John Sardo says:

    A fellow who always wore blue
    Till it grew to a hue he would rue.
    Never ever a prude
    He pranced around nude
    Saying blue never got me a screw.

  12. John Sardo says:

    A woman who always wore blue
    Gave the guys a colorful view.
    She donned a new thong
    And turned on a throng
    Of Frenchmen who gasped “O mon dieu.”

  13. A woman who always wore blue
    (Her mother had always said to.)
    Wore blue in her hair
    Though hadn’t much there
    Til she bought a blonde wig to wear.

    Madeleine— I know, my rhyme scheme is aabbb instead of aabba, so I will try another one shortly.
    K

  14. A woman who always wore blue
    To match twinkling eyes the same hue
    Twinkled so bluely
    Men thought she truly
    Wanted them her to pursue.

    I know, now my syllable count is off. I’m almost ready to start a “What’s wrong with this limerick?” contest.
    K

  15. Jesse Levy says:

    A fellow who always wore blue
    with red shorts and cape when he flew
    Had to save Lois Lane
    who was such a big pain
    But that is Superman for you.

  16. I’m ba-a-a-ack. I really related to the first line today, Madeleine, as you may have guessed.
    K

    As a child, I always wore blue,
    My mother had wanted me to,
    One day in the sink
    I dyed blue things pink
    And said, with a blink, I’m not you.

  17. Jesse Levy says:

    The policeman always wore blue
    when he saw the school shooting was true
    Twas a horrible mess
    and as you can guess
    his own kids were students there too.

    (In memory of the victims)

  18. Joseph Harris says:

    A woman who always wore blue
    Went to Bermuda with Drew.
    She bought a blue bangle
    Inscribed “The Triangle”;
    Then she fell in the sea – so adieu!

  19. Guess who — I’m sorry, but it’s your fault, you gave us the first line and my blue brain is just running with it.
    K

    A woman who always wore blue
    Found life held just too much to do
    So morning dressing
    Became a blessing
    When all her clothes matched. Her shoes, too.

  20. A fellow had always worn blue
    Because it was all that he knew
    His wife thought he’d better
    Have just one brown sweater
    And wear it when he ate beef stew.

    I tried to put this in under a different person’s name but I couldn’t figure out how. O well, A for effort.
    K

  21. JulesPaige says:

    A Limerick Saga:

    Mind Over Matter?

    Once again a nation in shock
    Time to rally and take stock
    Our children are crying
    As their ‘mates are a dying’
    ‘Cas guns were not properly lock’d

    How can we think of joy this season
    When our current laws lack cohesion
    Can’t protect our own castles
    Without government hassles
    Now days we fear for good reason -

    Can’t go to the movies or to the mall
    Can’t go to school – for terror looms tall
    Can’t listen to the news
    Left, right, center are the views
    Can’t bury your head and be small -

    It is time to stout heartily and address
    What is truly causing all this duress
    Pay your dues, freedom isn’t free
    Tip your hat to all the heroes you see
    And hope we can survive this mess

    There isn’t one answer that’s clear
    Or a cure all that’ll quell all the fear
    Do you have a solution
    To all the negative pollution
    That’ll warrant us all to give cheer?

    JP/davh

  22. zee alexi says:

    Conn. School Slaughter
    Can we stop being lemmings? Cliques begin in jr hi [earlier?] & those who can’t join grow to become exasperated. We don’t talk or socialize~~tweeting/texting prattle requires no self-discipline. We’ve Afghan War for 6 yrs…who let Obama make it 10? For eons, I’ve been a fighting member of Peace Action NY & made 237 calls to get out the vote on Election Day [launder Congress of NRA-gun whores]~~what are you doing? Can we look within ourselves? Lotsa 20-yr-olds aren’t validated & are hurting & ripe to explode.

  23. Sally Franz says:

    A woman who always wore blue
    down to her skives azule
    Jumped in Muddy Waters
    That soul singing daughter
    Now her skin matches her shoes.

  24. Manicddaily says:

    HI Madeleine –

    I will have to come back with a limerick. Thanks for your visits.

    k.

  25. Mark Kane says:

    An angry young man often blue,
    Caught the eye of a comely young shrew.
    Her rage was acclaimed,
    But in time she was tamed,
    Reaping them soon the pleasures of two.

  26. Diane Groothuis says:

    A couple went out on the blue
    To make love in a leaky canoe
    When they were on fire
    The water came higher
    So wht do you think did ensue?

  27. Hoot Gibson says:

    A fellow decked out in blue
    Except for one purple shoe
    Was asked, “What’s the gig,
    And why no blue wig,
    And where’s the rest of the crew?”

  28. A woman who always wore blue
    Got her dress stained by Pres forty-two
    He said “Lew stop that gumming
    I hear someone coming”
    She said “Bill I think that it’s you”

  29. A woman who always wore blue
    came to match her moods with it too.
    Monochromatic
    can’t pull off the tricks
    that a polychromatic palette can do.

    Thanks, Madeleine! Have a great week!

  30. Diane Groothuis says:

    A woman who always wore blue
    Had a soap shop which everyone knew
    And when she had some troubles
    She blew a few bubbles
    And then popped all the bubbles she blew

  31. Diane Groothuis says:

    Dolly Parton liked to wear blue
    To show off her asset times two
    With neckline revealing
    What I’d be concealing
    She’d show all what working girls do.

  32. brian miller says:

    a man who always wore blue
    all a sudden came down with the flu
    his stomach realing
    projecting to the ceiling
    something that looked like beef stew

  33. Lets not quarrel over what’s the root cause
    There’s not doubt we need better gun laws
    We must also repair
    Broken mental health care
    So let’s put this infighting on pause

  34. Diane Groothuis says:

    I’ll do this one out of the blue
    Aussie friends at a home barbecue
    Said Jimmy to Jake
    I prefer a beef steak
    Instead of your seared kangaroo.

  35. scott says:

    A woman who always wore blue,
    Didn’t manage to get to the loo,
    And now can be seen,
    Wearing panties of green,
    As blue mixed with yellow will do.

  36. Jesse Levy says:

    A woman who always wore blue
    as an intern knew just what to do
    She almost split Bill
    and his feisty wife Hill
    And she kept some DNA – eww!

  37. scott says:

    A fellow who never votes blue,
    said, “Guns do not kill, people do!”
    To that fellow I say,
    “You can’t have it both ways,
    when that gun in your hand speaks for you.”

  38. Luke Prater says:

    A fella who always wore blue,
    took a liking to a young lady’s shoe.
    The other was on ‘er;
    she said, “you’re a goner!”
    and now they’re wedded, with two.

  39. Diane Groothuis says:

    The songbird with feathers so blue
    Was preening himself on a yew
    Then he saw on a nest
    Birdie more quietly dressed
    And asked “Are you a budgerigar too?”

  40. Don says:

    A woman who always wore blue
    From his bank account withdrew
    all the cash and then some
    for the party to have fun
    and danced all night known as Bee Bop Ba Loo

  41. Robyn says:

    A woman who always wore blue
    Sat staring not knowing what to do
    With the power out, internet down
    Her face wore a permanent frown
    What to do with free time she hadn’t a clue

  42. A woman who always wore blue
    thought she knew just what to do
    in order to fit
    in her new shoe she bit
    off her toes and then wanted to sue

  43. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A patriotic fellow wore blue
    Matching cock veins ,azure in hue
    But it’s head was blood red
    So he waved it and said,
    “Three cheers for the red white and blue!”

  44. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A young fellow to stop feeling blue
    Thought, “I’ll see what religion can do”
    So to church he then skated
    And while the old Priest orated
    He fucked an old Nun in a Pew

  45. Craig says:

    In our chimney, old Santa was blue.
    He was stuck, and not sure what to do.
    My son, filled with dread
    Asked “Is Santa Claus dead?”
    “No, he just has a bad case of flue.”

  46. Craig says:

    The man in the suit  had been blue,
    And sexually frustrated too.
    ‘Till up in the high land
    Of Fantasy Island
    Mr. Roarke got a little Tattoo.

  47. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    The regatta announcer felt blue
    And his face turned a scarlet-tinged hue
    When he slipped: “Team One’s sloop
    Is the best of the group,
    But as sailors go, I like Two’s crew.”

  48. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    A drone strike comes out of the blue,
    Kills a suspect along with few
    Of his family and friends—
    Not only their ends,
    But that of judicial review.

  49. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A woman who always wore blue

    Liked clothes that the men could see through.

    When she walked down the street

    She was hardly discrete

    And the passers-by shouted ‘Woo-hoo!’

  50. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A fly flew in out of the blue
    Met a flea who said, “What’s to do”
    Said the fly, “Let us flee”
    And the flea said, “Can’t fly”
    So the fly picked him up and they flew

  51. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    An old Ranch owner named Blue
    Described his first fuck to his crew
    “It was under that Oak,
    I gave her a poke,
    While her mother looked on and said Mooo!”

  52. Diane Groothuis says:

    Now the helpers flew in from the blue
    to give Santa an urgent rescue
    They took a large pick
    And removed brick by brick
    To free Santa and his reindeer too.

  53. Sabio Lantz says:

    A fellow who always wore blue
    had a sacred, ridiculous view
    that gods had control
    and devils do patrol
    and that’s why we’re so damn screwed.

  54. Diane Groothuis says:

    Waitress’s friend in the bar feeling blue
    And wearing no pants, ( this is true)
    Said “I just get no chance
    Cause she wears the pants
    And we share ALL our underwear too.”

  55. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A Builder was feeling real blue
    Because he had nothing to do
    So he helped an old whore
    With repairs to her door
    But this time, she paid him for a screw.

  56. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A young innocent fellow felt blue
    For of sex he knew not what to do
    Till one day a lass
    Fingered his ass
    And he immediately blew on his shoe

  57. Don says:

    A lady was feeling quite blue
    When she noticed a long line for the loo
    said she,”Oh me, Oh my
    I’m not sure, but I’ll try
    the plumbing serves only you know who”.

  58. Kim Nelson says:

    I would be right there with her. I’d likely show up in red. BRIGHT red!
    Moses-like

  59. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A young woman who always wears blue
    Likes finding odd places to screw
    She’s done it in drains
    In mineshafts and cranes
    And for next week she’s booked a canoe.

  60. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    An old fellow who used to feel blue
    Now cuts his Viagra in two
    Not to be mean
    But just very keen
    To stop pissing onto his shoe.

  61. JazzBumpa says:

    BLUE LIMERICKS

    A blue-eyed woman wore blue
    Persistently: thus en la nu
    She was ever so bold
    To go bare in the cold
    When her bosom and butt turned blue too

    A woman who always wore blue
    Was a Wolverines fan – sad, but true
    She dated a fellow
    Who always wore yellow.
    And when the Buckeyes won, they cried, boo-hoo.

    And to get REALLY blue . . .

    A porn star who always wore blue
    Made stick-em-up movies; A few
    Involved busty girls
    With platinum curls
    She blew them all – and the men, too!

    JzB

  62. Diane Groothuis says:

    L’il Angus my Grandson wears blue
    He weighed only a kilo or two
    But id didn’t take long
    Till we heard the glad song
    “Take him home and we bid you adieu”

  63. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A young virgin is now feeling blue
    After allowing her boyfriend to screw
    She tried to resist
    But he did persist
    Now sitting down makes her say, “Ooooh

  64. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An old fellow to stop feeling blue
    Set up a Bidet in the loo
    He found it saved paper
    And to add to the caper
    His arsole is much cleaner too.

  65. Tim James says:

    The Connecticut news makes me blue
    And a limerick jape seems undue.
    There’s been little relief
    From the anger and grief
    So the funny this week I eschew.

  66. Don says:

    A lady feeling quite blue
    having to spend christmas with the flu
    wrote to Santa and said,”Please
    bring relief and goodies I’ll leave
    for peace on this hearth and for you”.

  67. scott says:

    A fellow who always wrote blue,
    Said “Keep your profanities few.
    Be crafty and quirky,
    or you’ll be a turkey,
    and readers will want to pluck you.”

  68. Johanna Richmond says:

    To tell you the truth, I’ve been blue
    Due to holiday zoo déjà vu,
    So the presses have stopped
    In my lim-writing shop,
    But just for a week, maybe two.

  69. Johanna Richmond says:

    Oops. Bad rhyme. Here’s the revised:

    To tell you the truth, I’ve been blue
    Due to holiday zoo déjà vu,
    So the presses will stop
    In my lim-writing shop,
    But just for a week, maybe two.

  70. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    A sheep shagging Kiwi named Blue
    Could’nt get far enough up it’s flue
    So he took the young miff
    To the edge of a cliff
    Which made it back up harder too.

  71. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    An old lady worn out and blue
    Claimed, “I’m just too tired to screw
    Said her husband, “So what,
    Just open your twat,
    And don’t move like you usually do

  72. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    We’re Aussies and feeling real blue
    Each time the TV we view
    When we think of the grief
    It beggars belief
    What the parents are now going through.

  73. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    The Connecticut horrors so bad
    Enough for a Saint to get mad
    If God’s all for love
    Then heavens above
    Why does he always make people so sad?

  74. kaykuala says:

    A woman who always wore blue
    Insisted it was the right thing to do
    The color of love
    Peaceful as a dove
    Had ardent followers if only she knew

    Hank

  75. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    It’s 3 am and I’m blue
    The cops raided and arrested my screw
    They’ve left me in shock
    Condom on my cock
    Shit! They’ll probably come back for that too.

  76. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    An old chemist saved some feeling blue
    Those who could no longer screw
    By inventing a spray
    For use every day
    On vaginas to make them like new.

  77. Don says:

    A lady who was feeling quite blue
    ask the Mayans what she should do
    if their prediction was off just a bit
    cause the aliens couldn’t agree with it
    said they to her, “Looks like your future’s up to you”.

  78. Don says:

    A lady who was feeling quite blue
    ask the Mayans what should she do
    if their prediction was off just a bit
    cause the aliens couldn’t agree with it
    said they to her they didn’t have a clue.

  79. Don says:

    There’s a gunman in the school, what should we do
    You’ve been trained; now, just follow through
    But he’s armed and intending malice
    we’ll be ok just remember A.L.I.C.E.
    so, we opened the doors and windows and out we flew.

  80. Johanna Richmond says:

    Ain’t it lovely when out of the blue,
    Someone’s kindhearted words pull you through?
    How you all make me laugh!
    That and half a carafe,
    And I’m suddenly feeling brand new.

    But truly, you masters of jest
    Have brightened my world –you’re the best.
    Should have known all the while
    Where to go for a smile –
    Love you all! Now I’ll give it a rest.

  81. Johanna Richmond says:

    What’s a summer sky minus the blue?
    What’s a paddle without a canoe?
    If you think that’s impressive,
    Befriend a depressive;
    You’ll be entertained up the wazoo.

  82. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    There’s this Bishop with vestments of blue
    And while preaching his zip went askew
    An old maid named Aylia
    Saw his pink genitalia
    And fainted away in her pew

  83. Don Fitzpatrick says:

    In explanation, and for those who may not be all that familiar with Australian terms, places, slang etc; “Moe” is a Country Town in Victoria and “Joey” is a baby Kangaroo.

    A sexy young woman in blue
    Fell in love with a bush kangaroo
    This union in Moe
    Bore a blue male Joey
    Which Welfare locked up in the zoo.

  84. The NRA’s statements aren’t true
    Arming cross walk attendants won’t do
    Fewer guns, fewer deaths
    Fewer children’s last breaths
    Let’s bid all assault weapons adieu

    NRA leadership doesn’t see
    Their proposal’s as insane can be
    We’ll have nothing less than
    An assault weapons ban
    And most NRA members agree

    So now let’s try to do this once more
    And ban all guns designed to wage war
    If your rep on the hill
    Doesn’t sign such a bill
    Then you’re represented by a whore

  85. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    If you Yanks can achieve a new law
    Which bans all the weapons of war
    The outlaws will still
    Have firearms that kill
    Do it right, chuck’m all out the door.

  86. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    Correction:

    If you Yanks can achieve a new law
    Which bans only the weapons of war
    The outlaws will still
    Have firearms that kill
    Do it right, chuck em all out the door.

  87. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    When traversing the wide ocean blue,
    Colón and his malnourished crew
    Would have thanked lucky stars
    For the restaurants and bars
    Now enjoyed on the Queen Mary 2.

  88. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    When traversing the wide ocean blue,
    Would Colón and his malnourished crew
    Have thanked lucky stars
    For the restaurants and bars
    Now enjoyed on the Queen Mary 2?

  89. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A young hooker who preferred wearing bloe
    Also liked being quick when she’d screw
    So she’d fasten a clock
    To her customers cock
    When they fucked, the time really flew.

  90. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    Correction: not bloe! blue

    A young hooker who preferred wearing blue
    Also liked being quick when she’d screw
    So she’d fasten a clock
    To her customers cock
    When they fucked, the time really flew

  91. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    The Magician had made a real blue
    For he’d cut his assistant in two
    “Woe is me, I’ve displaced
    Her top half from her waist,
    But I guess there’s enough left to screw.

  92. Diane Groothuis says:

    Now Santa in red not in blue
    And carefully released from the flu
    Was in no condition
    To continue his mission
    So asked “Will an IOU do?”

  93. Dr. Goose says:

    A woman who always wore blue
    Since her days as a young ingenue
    Had scandalized all
    When she entered the ball
    With her Pucci a little askew.

  94. Dr. Goose says:

    A woman who always wore blue
    On the streets up in Kalamazoo
    Said: “You realize, of course,
    As a cop on the force,
    It’s the thing I’m expected to do.”

  95. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow with eyes of bright blue
    Would say to each girl that he knew:
    “One of these days,
    My deep, soulful gaze
    May prove quite seductive to you.”

  96. Dr. Goose says:

    A man who was partial to blue
    In his clothes, and his Cadillacs, too,
    Once recorded a hit
    By singing of it
    As the hue of his suede leather shoe.

  97. Dr. Goose says:

    This “Cliffmas” will really be blue
    For all those Americans who
    Had pinned their hopes on
    That speaker named John,
    Who, regrettably, didn’t come through.

  98. Dr. Goose says:

    In the land of the red white and blue,
    Some think it’s the right thing to do:
    Put a gun-totin’ guard
    In every schoolyard,
    And arm all the principals, too.

  99. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, The Special Limerick Award Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 93

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun, because new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Port.