Sun-Tanned Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal with a very deep tan…*

or

A guy with a very deep tan…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Sun-Tanned Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal with a very deep tan
Was hoping to pick up a man.
But the guys got one look,
And that’s all that it took:
Wrinkled skin made her look like their gran.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

UPDATE: July 3rd is Stay Out Of The Sun Day.

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77 Responses to “Sun-Tanned Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Jesse Levy says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    got arrested (not part of her plan).
    Well, here’s what she did:
    She sunburned her kid.
    She even makes Boehner look wan.

    (I know, I know. I took liberties with the rhyme.)

  2. Jesse Levy says:

    A guy with a very deep tan
    was mistaken for a black man
    Those who didn’t look twice
    did not treat him nice
    This kind of shit we should ban.

  3. A guy with a very deep tan
    Was grabbed by a group from the klan;
    To avoid their foul means
    He dropped down his jeans
    And showed them the colour he began.

  4. A girl with a very deep tan
    Had sex with a deeply tanned man.
    Far out on the ocean,
    Their Brownian motion,
    Sadly sank their catamaran.

  5. Ike Renfield says:

    A white gal with too deep a tan,
    delusional, touted her plan:
    “My fave tanning booth
    is a fountain of youth.”
    Nope. She’s the color of carmel on flan.

  6. A guy with a very deep tan
    That he wasn’t born with, he can
    Be a con-man, a crook
    Who can flirt with one look,
    And I’ll stay away from that man.

  7. Poetesswug says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    was determined to catch her a man.
    One who looked from within,
    and saw more than her skin.
    Not like all of the others who ran.

  8. Ira Bloom says:

    A guy with a very deep tan,
    Got blown up in East Afghanistan.
    “I love Allah,” he said,
    As he gurgled and bled,
    “But jihadists? Not much of a fan.”

  9. Ira Bloom says:

    A gal with a very deep tan,
    Tried to pass herself off as a flan.
    “I’m all eggy and sweet,”
    She cried, off’ring a teat,
    But most people who saw her just ran.

  10. colonialist says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Once onto a nudist beach ran,
    Though she stripped, they were rude
    Saying, ‘You should be nude,
    And your white bikini we ban!’

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Fell asleep in the sun with a man,
    His hand, as outlined,
    Was clearly defined
    Inside where bikini line ran!

  11. Mark Kane says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Developed a steamy hot plan.
    She pretended to doze,
    While nude in repose,
    Although fried, she at last lured her a man.

  12. Jannpoet says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Was hatching a very slick plan
    While basking her body
    She attracted some “toddy”
    And ended up getting her man.

  13. A gal with a very deep tan
    Spent a month in the sun in Bhutan
    The woman was foaming
    “This isn’t Wyoming?
    “I thought I was out in Cheyenne!”

  14. Manicddaily says:

    All very clever; will come back Madeleine. K.

  15. Veralynne says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Just wouldn’t come out of the can
    ‘Twas the bikini, you see,
    All you’d see was just she!
    So she slipped from the can to the van.

  16. Veralynne says:

    A guy with a very deep “tan”
    Was voted our Democrat “first man.”
    As if that weren’t enough
    When he struts his prez stuff
    It resembles the Republican plan!

  17. Craig says:

    A man with a fairly dark tan
    Had big plans for his date with Diane.
    But as she posed demurely
    He, quite prematurely,
    Was finished before he  began.

  18. Mama Zen says:

    Whoa! Somehow my comment ended up on the wrong post. Weird!

    Anyway, this reminded me of that “tanning bed mom.”

  19. daisy mae simon says:

    A guy with a very deep tan
    A perpetual one- and a suave man
    Acting is his game
    George is his first name
    His last name should be spelled ‘HamilTAN’

  20. Diane Groothuis says:

    A girl with a very deep tan
    Went on a trip to Japan
    She was robbed by a crook
    Who all her clothes took
    So she hid her deep tan with her fan.

  21. Diane Groothuis says:

    A girl with a very deep tan
    Wanted to learn the can can
    She said “there’s a chance
    I’ll be good at this dance
    If I want to do can can I can.

  22. Cara Holman says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Developed an ingenious plan
    To get rid of tan lines
    So now she declines
    To wear aught but a pair of Ray-Bans.

  23. Craig says:

    So I have a fairly good tan
    And write lim’ricks whenever I can
    But if I send this in
    I’m quite sure it won’t win
    ‘Cause I’m never as clever as Kitty Ditty.

  24. Pat Hatt says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Had to go to the can
    She waited in line
    As a kid about nine
    Asked why she wasn’t using that of a man

  25. John Sardo says:

    A guy with a very deep tan
    Was born to a dark skinned clan.
    They made fun of his skin.
    He was pale as a Finn,
    So he became a tanning bed fan.

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Cruised the beaches so all men could scan
    Her body’s delights
    Which caused many nights
    Of cold showers for guys with no plan.

  26. scott says:

    A man with a very deep tan,
    played in the Garden and ran,
    in his birthday suit,
    ‘til Eve ate the fruit,
    and brought about the fall of Man.

  27. Valerie D says:

    My breakfast’s a cold black and tan
    Along with a good dose of bran.
    The meal makes me happy,
    Keeps bathroom time snappy
    And that is exactly my plan.

  28. Patti says:

    I wrote mine before I read yours, Madeleine. Great minds?

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Cooked herself to a turn for a man.
    He took a proper good look,
    Said “overdone in my book,
    Dried up and tough, like my Gran.”

  29. Craig says:

    My freckle-faced girl can’t get tan
    So she sits in the shade with a fan
    She finally learned
    That she’d only get burned
    She’s a ginger, she’s not Mary Ann

  30. scott says:

    A gal with a very deep tan,
    she purchased from out of a can,
    sprayed her inner thighs,
    it got in my eyes,
    and down both of my cheeks it ran.

  31. Diane Groothuis says:

    A man with a very deep tan,
    Spent all his time on the LAN
    He browsed up some dirt
    On a fellow named Bert
    Whom he said was a dirty old man.

  32. Craig says:

    Here’s the tale of D’Shan, who was tan
    And the white gal whose name was Joanne:
    Seems her new Honda Fit
    Caused some serious shit
    On the day that her Fit hit D’Shan.

  33. Linda Fuller says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Ate nothing but oatmeal and bran.
    She tie-died her clothing
    And felt a strong loathing
    For food that came out of a can.

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Was itching to marry a man
    Who’d cook, clean and launder,
    Who never would wander
    But be her unwavering fan.

    A guy had a very deep tan
    From standing in bogs filled with cran-
    Berries ready for gathering.
    Folks would be slathering
    Jelly they bought from this man.

    A man with a very deep tan
    Fell off of his catamaran.
    The ocean eroded
    His spray tan – outmoded
    Soon after the custom began.

  34. Patti says:

    A guy, nude with a very deep tan,
    Strutted his “stuff” at the beachfront in Cannes.
    The French girls laughed and exclaimed,
    “Ah, monsieur, what you need is a brain!
    Les femmes like some sense in a man.”

  35. Mark Kane says:

    A WASP with a very deep tan
    Decided to hide in the van.
    While driving down South,
    He had heard word of mouth,
    That each state was still crawling with Klan.

  36. Mark Kane says:

    A star with a very dark tan,
    Made her way to the festival Cannes.
    Having nothing to hide
    She hoped this played wide:
    Naked clips with her new leading man.

  37. Mark Kane says:

    A gal with a very nice tan,
    Applied her unnatural plan,
    Avoiding the sun,
    She tanned on the run,
    With chemicals sprayed from a can.

  38. Linda Fuller says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Was packing to visit Japan.
    “I’ll bring my white makeup;
    Kabuki I’ll shake up
    By wearing the scantiest fan.”

  39. Bobby Chandran says:

    Dianne with a very deep tan
    Fishing in the nude in Ketchikan
    Salmon swimming upstream
    Were letting out a scream
    Catch-if-you-can Dianne

  40. Linda Fuller says:

    A guy with a very deep tan
    Was homeless and lived in his van.
    When trouble came knocking
    He set his van rocking
    By butting the sides with his can.

  41. Bruce Niedt says:

    Said a gal with a very deep tan,
    “I’ll develop it in the Sudan.”
    Her sun worship diverted
    when instead, she converted -
    in a burka, she reads the Quran.

  42. Linda Fuller says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Was trying to learn the can-can.
    The jumps made her sweaty;
    She stank like a yeti
    Until she administered ban®.

  43. Bruce Niedt says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    got her brown from an aerosol can.
    She got caught in the rain
    and it ran down the drain
    now she looks like a piece of rattan.

  44. Bruce Niedt says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    entered contests, with winning her plan,
    saying, “You’ll all go down,
    ‘cos I am the most brown!”
    But she lost to KIm Kardashi-an.

  45. John Larkin says:

    A guy with a very deep tan
    tried out to be Marlboro’s man.
    But, because of his cough,
    his name was crossed off,
    and that was the end of his plan.

  46. That’s a funny one! As a sun worshiper, I take this as a cautionary tale!

  47. Linda Fuller says:

    A guy with a very deep tan
    Ate cheese for its L-Tryptophan
    To assist with his sleeping.
    It worked; he woke weeping
    From crashing on splintered rattan.

  48. Aparna Ray says:

    A guy with a very deep tan,
    Was showing off his muscles to Anne.
    He thought he had scored,
    When she yawned, said, “I’m bored.
    Don’t you see? I’m a lesbian.” He ran.
    :D

  49. Wrinkled skin… such a turn on…LOL

  50. zongrik says:

    a young daughter was taken to tan
    at a salon with a monthly pay plan
    as the girl took her turn
    she sustained quite a burn
    now mom could spend time in the state can

    for a pic of tan mom see:

    tanorexic limerick

  51. Diane Groothuis says:

    A guy with a very deep tan
    Went out with a tootsie named Fran
    He said “See my back
    Is very near black
    And I’ll show you the front when I can”

  52. Fred says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    was feeling blue, was feeling bland
    then along came a boy
    that filled her with joy
    when he built her a castle out of the sand

  53. Diane Groothuis says:

    A guy with a very deep tan
    Made a pet of a giant Toucan
    He said to the bird
    Ir’s really absurd
    To ask whether a toucan can tan.

  54. Craig says:

    Met a blonde in a bar with a tan;
    As we danced, she purred “I’m Maryanne.”
    But the bar’s in Key West
    So the rest you’ll have guessed:
    That my tan Maryanne was a man.

  55. Versebender says:

    A guy with a very deep tan
    Was courting a beauty named Anne
    But the lady decided
    If his color subsided
    He’d just be flash in the pan

  56. Daniel Ari says:

    A man with an all-over tan, sir,
    Demanded a medical answer:
    “Is this lump on my rump
    a benign little bump,
    or is it a kind of a cancer?”

  57. A gal with a very deep tan,
    Was mistaken, it seems, for a man.
    Though her voice was quite high
    They would say “What a guy!”
    And she ended up being called Stan!

  58. Linda Fuller says:

    A gal with not much of a tan
    Had comical dreams where she ran
    Through caramel fountains
    And mud-covered mountains
    But then she awoke spic and span.

  59. Mark Megson says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Constantly confounded her clan
    Of old red-haired scots
    Who’d not seen a lot
    Of the world outside of Oban

  60. Diane Groothuis says:

    A guy with a very deep tan
    Met up with a lady named Jan
    He said “Though I’m biscuit
    Do you think you can risk it
    Making love with a very tan man ?”

  61. Johanna Richmond says:

    A guy thought his very deep tan
    Gave the air of a gingerbread man:
    “Looking orange and sweet
    Has my boner rap beat
    No one’s biting? Then TEARS are the plan!”

  62. Bone says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Had plans for attracting a man
    But too much sun-laying
    And she wound up playing
    Burnt umber in a Crayola clan

  63. Linda Fuller says:

    A guy with a muscular tan
    Lived life with a boisterous elan.
    A girl on each arm
    He’d emanate charm
    But lacked any firm long-term plan.

  64. Elaine says:

    A guy with a very deep tan
    Naked through a museum, he ran
    Lost his inhibitions
    HE’S the exhibition
    Posing now, as a bronze statued man.

  65. Elaine says:

    A guy with a very deep tan
    Caught his tie on a new celing fan
    Such a costly mistake
    ‘Cause his colour was fake
    He spray painted the walls as he span

  66. Rachael says:

    A gal longing for a deep tan,
    skipping sunblock was her bright plan.
    Now she’s layed up for weeks,
    rudely dubbed “Fire Cheeks”
    Super red burns now gracing her can!

  67. Sara McNulty says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Looked for the same in a man
    When he answered her ad,
    The news was quite sad,
    She burned up and her ashes were canned.
    ———————————-

    A guy with a very deep tan
    Thought he was the King of Siam
    His friends thought him mad
    When they saw him clad
    In a robe reading, Siam I am.
    ——————————-

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Was picked up by a psychotic man
    When she creamed, NO
    He stabbed her big toe
    The case was assigned to Charlie Chan.

  68. Patrick McKeon says:

    A gal with a very deep tan
    Had a different last testament plan
    Since her skin just like leather
    Would hold out all weather
    It was left to a tent making man

  69. patience and the prodigal says:

    from Patience;

    A girl with a very deep tan
    met Barrack, a hell of a man.
    He said “your colour’s clever,
    but mine lasts forever,
    I better stay clear of the Clan”.

    and the Prodigal;

    A guy with a very deep tan,
    Got splashed from a hot frying pan,
    With his polka dot face,
    He’s now a disgrace,
    Playing clown for the Shah of Iran.

  70. patience and the prodigal says:

    from Patience;

    Aguy with a very deep tan
    Ate baked beans from a five gallon can,
    Red face was ferocious,
    The smell was atrocious,
    Bring on that high-powered fan.

  71. Granny Smith says:

    An actor with very deep tan
    One who wore his dark skin with elan
    When asked by a fellow
    If he’d play Othello
    Cried, “There’s nothing I’d rather do than!”

  72. Linda Fuller says:

    A gal who could never get tan
    Fell prey to a con artist’s plan
    To darken her skin tone
    If she would remain prone
    And let him rub oil on her can.

  73. Diane Groothuis says:

    A guy with a very deep tan
    Is quite a mathematical man
    In calculus and trig
    He is very big
    B Cos it’s a Sine that he’s Tan.

  74. Linda Fuller says:

    A guy with a transient tan
    Stood close to the stove and began
    To fry up some bacon
    But he had mistaken
    His skin for the flesh in the pan.

  75. Linda Fuller says:

    Marie had a savory tan
    The color of caramel flan.
    A fellow named Victor
    Once blatantly licked her
    And now he’s a sad tongue-lashed man.

  76. Granny Smith says:

    A guy with a very deep tan
    Made his home on the beach in his van.
    “I think ‘twould be heaven
    To surf twentyfour-seven
    And if any man can, I’m the man!”

  77. madkane says:

    Thanks everyone for your fun limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 61.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun. How? I’ve already post a new Limerick-Off which you can find right here: Overpriced Limerick