Posts Tagged ‘Spam’

Spammer Correspondence

Tuesday, October 9th, 2018

Dear Nicco (or Flora; you appear confused about your name.)

Thanks for your email offering to “optimize” my site and fix its “technical errors.”

But since your missive begins “Hi Nicco,” (you’re also befuddled by MY name) I’m pretty sure you aren’t the Nicco/Flora for the job.

Dear Spammer Dude

Tuesday, September 7th, 2010

My blog comment spam problems aren’t nearly bad as they used to be, due to an anti-spam WordPress Plugin I raved about previously. But I still have to scan pending comments for spam, and certain things are a dead give away:

Dear Spammer Dude (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Spammers, don’t call me a “dude.”
I’m a gal, so that sounds rather rude.
My pic makes this clear,
So your “dude” usage, dear,
Proves your post should be promptly eschewed.

My Advice To Spammers (Limerick)

Thursday, June 25th, 2009

My Advice To Spammers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear spammers, I wish you’d take heed.
A spell-check is something you need.
Though I’m surely no Freud,
You should really avoid
Sending “greeting” cards spelled more like “greed.”

Feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, please join my friends in that same activity in my limerick-offs.

Life-Saving, Spam-Fighting WordPress Plugin

Wednesday, November 19th, 2008

I don’t usually write about technology, unless I’m writing limericks and haiku about sundry computer, spam, email, voice mail, and other techie aggravations.

But I’m making an exception today because I want to share my wonderful discovery: WP-SpamFree. I’m not exaggerating when I say it miraculously removes the WordPress comment spam moderation headache. How? It blocks all spam coming from bots; i.e., almost all spam. So it never even gets into your moderation queue.

I don’t know about you, but I used to wade through so much spam while moderating comments, that my eyes would glaze over and I’d inadvertently delete a legit comment. In fact, sometimes I’d get so disgusted, that I’d delete all pending comments without looking at them — I just didn’t have time to scan them and find the very few worth keeping.

Anyway, a few days ago I installed WP-SpamFree on both of my WordPress blogs, and my moderation woes ended immediately.  Now my comments moderation screen is almost spam-free — it just shows just a bit of human-posted spam plus comments worth approving.  So no more wasted time and no more accidentally deleted legit comments.

Hurray!

Oh …  in case anybody’s wondering … I was NOT paid to rave about this fabulous (and free) plugin.

Spam Haiku

Saturday, September 15th, 2007

Sometimes spam frustrates me so much, that I’m forced to turn it into haiku.  How do I do it?  I simply mix and match phrases from various annoying email solicitations and turn them into Spam Haiku.  Here are some examples:

My college pictures
Enhance your anatomy.
Proven effective.

New technology.
Frustration and hopelessness.
Xanax, Valium.

Amazing orgies.
Pictures are hard to believe.
Are you strong enough?

Play Texas Hold’em.
Your future is in your hands.
Never type again.

Large screen DVD.
Is your husband performing?
Big trading alert.

Stocks in an up trend.
Best pain reliever ever.
Be happy again.

Be a love hammer.
Penis enlargement breakthrough.
You can split and merge.

Pelvic pain is real.
Computers are infected.
Contact our doctors.