Posts Tagged ‘Bores’

Limerick Ode To “Tell An Old Joke Day”

Thursday, July 24th, 2014

Happy Tell An Old Joke Day!” (July 24)

Limerick Ode To “Tell An Old Joke Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some men seem compelled to keep telling
Ancient jokes. There is simply no quelling
Their need to assail us,
Assault and regale us
With stale, endless tales uncompelling.

Limerick Floor (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, July 13th, 2014

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman was perched on the floor…*

or

A fellow demanded the floor…*

or

A gal was re-tiling her floor…*

or

A fellow would frequently floor…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Floor
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A ranter demanded the floor.
He was plastered and hard to ignore.
How he stewed and he prattled!
The chair, rather rattled,
Threw his gavel and hammered that bore.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

A Round Of Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, December 8th, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow whose body was round…*

or

A woman was running around…*

or

A rumor was going around…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

A Round Of Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An expounder loved lounging around
By the pool, spewing thoughts unprofound.
“You’re a bore! Do a chore,”
Hounded spouse number four.
He thumbs-downed her. Unsound! He soon drowned.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To “Tell An Old Joke Day”

Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Happy “Tell An Old Joke Day!” (July 24)

Limerick Ode To “Tell An Old Joke Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow just loves telling jokes:
Ancient japes — yes, he’s one of those folks
Who is certain he’s witty.
Egged on — this ain’t pretty —
Bored listeners pelt him with yolks.

Limerick Drone (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, February 24th, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And since the Oscars are on tonight, I’m offering you an alternative: In addition to your regular challenge, you may write a limerick related to the Oscars, using any first line. Next week I’ll present an extra award — one for the best Oscars-related limerick.

And now, getting back to your regular Limerick-Off challenge: I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who’d constantly drone…*

or

A woman who’d constantly drone…*

or

A fellow who felt like a drone…*

or

A woman who felt like a drone…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Drone
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A salesman who’d constantly drone
Was forced to go off on his own.
Here’s the hole in his plan:
He bored ev’ry man
And each woman he pitched on the phone.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Shooting The Breeze With Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, June 3rd, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman was shooting the breeze…*

or

A fellow was shooting the breeze…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Shooting The Breeze
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman was shooting the breeze
With a man who was down on his knees.
He’d planned to propose
But got bored, so he rose
And explained he’d been looking for keys.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Phase (Limerick-Off Monday)

Monday, November 14th, 2011

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s
last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who went through a phase…

or

A woman who went through a phase…

Here’s mine:

Limerick Phase
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who went through a phase
Of using a ton of clichés
Would talk up a storm
And refused to reform,
As he babbled each over-used phrase.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Dear Prattlers

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

Dear Prattlers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear prattlers, I beg you — stop talking.
If you don’t, I’ll escape. Watch — I’m walking.
I have pains in each joint,
As I wait for your point.
Oh my no! It’s insurance you’re hawking?

Update: June 28 is National Insurance Awareness Day.