Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DRONES at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: March 5, 2022)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick(s) as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing limericks using DRONES at the end of any one line. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick-Off Award Winner. (Here’s last week’s Limerick-Off Award Winner.)

Additionally, you may write themed limericks related to REJECTION, using any rhyme word. And of course I’ll present an extra award — one for the best REJECTION-related limerick.

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the winners on March 6, 2022, right before I post the next Limerick-Off. So that gives you two full weeks to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday, March 5, 2022 at 4:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my DRONES-rhyme limerick:

The anatomy prof provokes groans;
He tells anecdotes (endless) and drones.
Students stare at the clock,
Read their email, and mock
Him for tales that are never bare bones.

And here’s my REJECTION-themed limerick:

A man had a bee in his bonnet
About writing a humorous sonnet.
No one cared for his style,
So he built a flop-pile
Of rejections and plopped down upon it.

Please feel free to enter my Limerick-Off by posting your limerick(s) in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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167 Responses to “Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: DRONES at the end of any one line (Submission Deadline: March 5, 2022)”

  1. Wildman says:

    Of rejection I know it quite well…
    But pure bias has such a bad smell
    When it’s blatent, impure
    Then it stinks, like manure
    This one reeks, fellow LIMsters can tell…

  2. Wildman says:

    Disjointed? Yes…

    Judges sit, just like queens, on their thrones
    Judgments made with joysticks and headphones
    Rend’rings rendered so far
    Haven’t yet passed the bar
    Verdicts deftly dropped off using drones

  3. madkane says:

    Clay Wild a/k/a Wildman has just seen fit to litter this new contest with “bias” accusations. Here’s my response:

    When failing to win drives you mad,
    You claim “bias.” How sad my dear lad!
    Placing blame on the judge
    And nursing a grudge
    Makes you look like an ego-crazed cad.

    Some writers assume they are great.
    They’ll swear that their lims are first-rate.
    When they don’t win acclaim,
    They lash out and place blame
    On the judge for their loserly fate.

    PS: Hey Clay, does this mean you want me to rescind the HM you got as “Wildman” in the previous contest? Inquiring minds want to know.

  4. Brian Allgar says:

    “Oh, hell!” the limericist groans.
    “Why on earth has Mad given us ‘drones’
    As the rhyme-word today?
    There’s no chance of word-play,
    And there simply are NO homophones.”

  5. Brian Allgar says:

    Said the man, “I’m so wild! I must say,
    I’m a victim of bias each day!
    What I write is pure gold!”.
    But the truth must be told:
    It would seem that he has feet of Clay.

  6. Mike Young says:

    Prince Andrew will not sit on thrones
    Because he’s been seen with some crones
    Epstein was the worst
    When he dealt with his thirst
    And made Andrew just one of his drones

    So Andrew has suffered rejection
    Because of his lurid connection.
    The family were sad
    But also so mad
    That they looked for severe disconnection.

  7. Brian Allgar says:

    When I fail to win, though it’s sad,
    I never think anything bad,
    Or exclaim ”That’s unfair!”
    No bias is there,
    Just a failure of judgement by Mad.

    [Just joking, Mad … well, somewhat :) ]

  8. Tony Holmes says:

    It’s the fears and the doubts that beset
    When your suit is rejected. And yet,
    If it weren’t for the scream
    That just has shattered your dream,
    Truth be told, would you be that upset?

  9. Tony Holmes says:

    IThat’s annoying. The ‘just’ had been slashed through but it didn’t copy over. That will teach to be a smartarse, won’t it?

  10. Tony Holmes says:

    “Tell me, what is your name, little boy?”
    “Nigel.” “What is the name of your toy?”
    “Catapult. With these stones
    I can shoot down your drones.
    My new game is called, ‘Seek and Destroy’.”

    One From April last year.

  11. Tony Holmes says:

    “It took forty-eight years and one day,
    But I finally got one to play.
    All those lessons I learned,
    From each time I was spurned …
    Only question is now, will she stray?”

  12. Tony Holmes says:

    “If the pundits discount your true worth,
    And of praise and rosettes there’s a dearth:
    If the judgement call shames,
    And you’re shot down in flames,
    Be a phoenix and rise in rebirth.”

  13. Tony Holmes says:

    “To take part is entirely the point,
    And if losing puts nose out of joint,
    Then one has to take stock.
    One does not run amok
    When the contest results disappoint.”

  14. Terry Marter says:

    t’s so hard to accept a rejection
    When all that you write’s pure perfection.
    There’s no prize (so don’t sulk)
    For deliv’ring in bulk, –
    No need to incite insurrection.

  15. Terry Marter says:

    Not exactly beseeching redemptions
    For earlier perceived contemptions
    The response to one’s guilt
    Of Lims lacking the lilt
    Achieved one’s intentions, – MORE Mentions!

  16. Jackie Chou says:

    There was a call for love poetry
    I thought it was up my alley
    Feeling quite dejected
    When all my poems got rejected
    All ten I wrote on a spree

  17. Tony Holmes says:

    “It’s technical world, what with ‘phones,
    And computers, smart tablets and drones.
    Is life better with these?
    On the left here, ‘Agrees’,
    And the rest of you – Great! – you’re the ‘Moans’.”

  18. Rudy Landesman says:

    Back to the races.

    A sinister fraud had been hatched.
    The plot’s now revealed and dispatched.
    We now will erase
    The results of the race.
    Yes, Wildman, the stallion’s been scratched.

  19. Dane Paulsen says:

    The world’s changing all that are knowns,
    Was land lines and muscle cars one owns.
    I once had a trike,
    But now an E-bike
    And it’s cellphones, the metaverse and drones.

  20. Tony Holmes says:

    “’Keep your pecker up, lad. You will see
    There are plenty more fish in the sea.’
    But rejection is felt
    Most of all, below belt,
    And the circle is vicious. Ah, me!”

  21. Rudy Landesman says:

    Dual purpose limerick?

    The rejection, you think, made in haste
    Was based on a lack of good taste?
    You complain and you drone
    On your e-mail and phone,
    But your time spent that way is a waste.

  22. Kirk Miller says:

    Parents’ actions elicit some groans
    From their children because the kids’ phones
    Do not let parents see
    What kids do, where they be.
    So some parents are now using drones.

  23. Dane Paulsen says:

    I was rejected by a peer.
    Unwarranted? Maybe not, I fear.
    I’ll regain my standing,
    With lims more demanding,
    And puns that no one will smear.

  24. Kirk Miller says:

    Mime’s apology was rejected
    By his wife. And as he expected,
    Like she often would do
    As a punishment; to
    Silent treatment he was subjected.

  25. Lisi Nortman says:

    Rejection and Drones “Revenge of the Queen Bee”

    So horny, and clueless he moans.
    Doesn’t know ’bout his oncoming groans.
    A short-lived erection.
    Then total rejection:
    Rest In Peace with the other slain drones.

  26. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Agony Of Rejection

    From my heart, I will have to erase
    A love I can never replace.
    Though I’ll be real upset,
    I shall never regret
    That rock that I hurled in his face.

  27. Lisi Nortman says:

    That sounds wrong! One more try:

    From my heart, I will have to erase
    A love I can never replace.
    Though I’ll be real upset,
    I shall never regret
    My hurling a rock in his face.

  28. Wildman says:

    HUMBLE PIE, it pairs well with rejection
    ‘Judge no judge’, lesson learned, in reflection
    As there’s no wrong or right
    Ladies first, take a bite
    Humans ALL, we’ve achieved imperfection…

  29. Mel Duarte says:

    After a boring job, sanctioning loans
    And the monotonous voice on the radio drones
    I drifted-off and side-swiped another vehicle
    I guess my LKA was on a Sabbatical
    Now my insurance agent, on my behalf, attones

  30. madkane says:

    To All, Regarding The Latest Brouhaha:

    It’s beginning to feel a bit fateful;
    The sporadic attacks on me, hateful:
    Someone tries to provoke
    A revolt here. No joke!
    My supporters are great, though. I’m grateful!

  31. Mel Duarte says:

    A spare rib protruding, that was a reject
    God decided that this was ideal for HIS project
    HE broke it off, and created Eve
    But to the best of my knowledge, I believe
    That Adam might have preffered a STEVE

  32. Mel Duarte says:

    How do I correct spelling error “preffered” should read as

    Thank you

    From Mad Kane: Just re-post your corrected limerick, and label it Corrected Version or Revised Version.

  33. Mel Duarte says:

    Sticks and Stones may break my bones
    But I haven’t thought about drones
    I guess they swerve and veer and rise and dip
    Hey, there’s one aiming straight for my hip

  34. Terry Marter says:

    The swarming bright night-show of drones
    Was wiped out by a storm amid groans.
    Parents yelled ‘Fuck you God’
    On their wet homeward plod
    While their kids looked up ‘Fuck’ on their phones.

  35. Lisi Nortman says:

    She never complains nor bemoans
    Bout his gas through intestinal bones.
    Although it smells foul,
    You won’t hear her growl.
    She nods off from melodious drones.

  36. Mel Duarte says:

    Revlsed version

    “Sticks. and Stones may break my bones
    But I. haven’t considered those crazy Drones
    They swerve and veer, rise and dip
    Hey! there’s one aiming straight for my hip
    It hit it’s mark, you can tell by my groans.

  37. Mel Duarte says:

    Revised version

    A spare rib protruded, that was a “reject”
    GOD decided that this was ideal for HIS project
    HE broke it off, and created Eve
    But to the best of my knowledge, I believe
    That Adam might have preferred a STEVE

  38. Lisi Nortman says:


    When it’s time to let sweetie cakes down,
    You never will see this girl frown.
    Cuz you’ll send her a text.
    Here’s what to do next:
    Bolt like lightening, and get outta town.

  39. Tanja Cilia says:

    So the King bought an army of drones
    To chuck all other kings off their thrones
    But the ruse didn’t work
    ‘Cos the Kin g was a jerk
    And he found he’d been fobbed off with clones.


    Rejection is so hard to take
    When there is a lot that’s at stake
    Being broccoli sucks
    All you get’s flying fuckss;
    Since most people would rather have cake.

  40. Terry Marter says:

    Mad: This replaces Feb 20. at 6.32pm. Thanks.

    The night-show of bright swarming drones
    Was wiped out by a storm, amid groans.
    Parents cursed ‘Fuck you God’
    On their wet homeward plod
    While their kids looked up ‘Fuck’ on their phones.

  41. Lisi Nortman says:

    I heard about “Psychic Coquette”
    I wanted to date her, but yet
    It was quite unexpected
    That I’d be rejected
    Since she and I hadn’t yet met.

  42. Tony Holmes says:

    A final word – from me, at least. And isn’t brouhaha a lovely word?

    “To take part is entirely the point,
    And if losing puts nose out of joint,
    Then one has to take stock.
    One does not run amok
    When the contest results disappoint.”

    “Having said that – no, no! Leave it there!
    To harp on may encourage. Forswear!
    Though rejection may sting,
    Bucking up is the thing.
    And believe it or not, your words glare.”

  43. Tony Holmes says:

    This is simply a ‘Let’s have fun with rejection.’ limerick – honest!

    “When rejection confronts, then the wise
    Take a step or two back and revise.
    Only then do they heap
    All their scorn on the creep
    Whose opinions they – rightly – despise.”

  44. The convoy’s all bitches and moans.
    Pushed away, they cry broken bones.
    Trudeau sleeps, dreams away
    of contacting U.S.A.
    just to sing “Send in the drones.”

  45. Terry Marter says:

    Dear dating app.,

    Re the form I perfected,
    With its ‘Zero’ result unaffected:
    I neglected to say
    I won Lotto today.
    Please inform all by whom I’m rejected.

  46. Jackie Chou says:

    There’s a therapist whose voice just drones
    Bored, all the patients play with their phones
    Even a bot
    An inanimate whatnot
    Speaks with more variety of tones

  47. Lisi Nortman says:

    He moans and then quietly drones,
    Having trouble with dumping the stones.
    What’s taking so long?
    My bladder’s not strong.
    (Should ‘a gone for that place with 2 thrones.)

  48. Lisi Nortman says:

    Neil Sedaka at “Senior Hill”

    Of course breaking up’s hard to do.
    The rejection’s make seniors real blue.
    But those courtships are brief.
    In a way, it’s relief.
    Cuz waking up’s hard to do too.

  49. Lisi Nortman says:

    Rejected by Harvard? But why?
    I’m such an intelligent guy!
    I’ve read poems and prose.
    Like “The Sun Also Rose”
    And my fav’rite was “Pitcher On Rye”

    (with mustard)

  50. Terry Marter says:

    2-day is 22-2-22.

    Some people love numbers and such;
    ‘Special’ combo’s (to me) are all Dutch.
    For too many today,
    “Two”’s all they can say.
    I reject them; they’re all “Two” too-much.

  51. Saw damaging horseplay, I groan.
    From propellers of dastardly drone.
    Kids ask, “Where’s our toy?”
    Can’t dampen my joy.
    “The circular-file, then unknown.”

  52. Roger Haugen says:

    When it comes to the names Smith and Jones,
    There are millions in all the time zones;
    It could be romance,
    Or maybe the chance
    That a lot of those people are clones.

  53. Roger Haugen says:

    Loud sounded the shouts and the moans:
    “We’re being bombarded by drones!”
    On this one occasion,
    No alien invasion–
    Just a bunch of drunk Scots throwing scones

  54. Rudy Landesman says:

    I thought we were great, when in bed.
    I loved her and wanted to wed.
    Now I can’t understand,
    When I asked for her hand,
    She gave me the finger instead.

  55. Terry Marter says:

    Oops. Please delete previous (2.43am) Wrong version. Should be this:

    I love rhyming the odd line or two;
    Sharing lim’ricks with those who do too.
    Not rejecting this game
    But what’s now in the frame
    Uses six lines, but one Wordle do.

  56. Terry Marter says:

    When big Jack said “Let’s Wed” I said “Yup”
    We agreed to forego the pre-nup’.
    I should’ve knocked back
    Those advances from Jack
    But I didn’t, and now I’m knocked up.

  57. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    I’ve heard buzz that some honey bee drones,
    Can have trysts (even though they lack bones).
    Should a queen bee fly by,
    They will take to the sky,
    In pursuit of erogenous zones.

  58. Lisi Nortman says:

    My Incorrect and Invented Pronunciation. (Please Excuse)

    If Queen was equipped with some bones,
    She’d be stronger and flatline more drones.
    Although she’s a lassie,
    She’s feisty and sassy.
    And even has “girlie cojones”

  59. Dane Paulsen says:

    Selling my home, it is known.
    Take pictures above with a drone.
    But pics won’t be cool,
    Me nude by the pool.
    A sale would surely be blown.

  60. Bob Turvey says:

    I once found a medal – ‘twas bronze,
    And I thought to myself; “This is John’s.”
    ‘cos Doctor John One,
    Said his medal was gone;
    And the cops said it was Dr. One’s.

    [Is there a prize for the best alternative spelling of drones?]

  61. Bob Turvey says:

    Said his doc to a fellow called Hewish,
    “Your heart’s effed – and that’s why you’re bluish.
    But this pig heart is new;
    I can give it to you.”
    “I’ll reject it,” said Hewish. “I’m Jewish.”

  62. Dane Paulsen says:

    The dying old man they called Darryl.
    Craved a chocolate chip cookie farewell.
    But then in a twist,
    His wife slapped his wrist.
    “Those cookies are for the funeral”.

  63. Dane Paulsen says:

    I don’t hate the in-laws was his line.
    Your mother-in-law I like fine.
    In fact, I’m sure
    That I like her,
    So much better than I like mine.

  64. Lisi Nortman says:

    The “Dubious Crust Patisserie”

    The “Dubious Crust” ad that I
    Read today is a fraudulent lie.
    It reads, “Pick up your phones!
    Get your baked goods by drones!”
    Now that is one pie in the sky.

  65. Dane Paulsen says:

    The queen was buzzed by the drone.
    His desires he had well shown.
    She flew to her honey,
    And when they were done, he
    Returned to the hive, not alone.

  66. Dane Paulsen says:

    Revised 5:13 Lim

    I don’t hate the in-laws, his line.
    Your mother-in-law I like fine.
    In fact, I’m sure
    That I like her,
    So much better, than I like mine.

  67. Lisi Nortman says:

    A Dream I Had

    Soon after he lost the election,
    The Donald was filled with infection
    At the core of his heart.
    But then soon fell apart,
    When facing a transplant rejection.

  68. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Which is worse — a new suitor who drones
    On and on about stuff that he owns,
    Or an old one who drums
    With his thumbs while he hums
    Strange renditions of hits by The Stones?

  69. Tim James says:

    What a beautiful voice, but egad!
    She’s so dull that it makes me feel sad.
    When she endlessly drones
    In those sweet dulcet tones
    It’s like “Dancing Queen” played on a Strad.

  70. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    “Denial,” a tool, when perfected,
    Keeps any fool cool when rejected,
    Which then makes it more fun
    To find out you’re the one
    Who’s been chosen to be unselected.

  71. Lisi Nortman says:

    Such Bunk!

    Charles Darwin, with true feet of clay,
    Should not have set out to convey
    (False) Natural Selection
    I state my rejection:
    He never checked out DNA.

    (He was adopted) :)

  72. Dane Paulsen says:

    Don’t be concerned by rejection.
    A projection to self-reflection.
    It signals a move,
    A need to improve.
    Corrections that tamp self-affection.

  73. Bob Turvey says:

    Said Christ, “On the Cross I was aching
    On account of some point You were making.
    You said You’d protect me.
    Why did You reject me?”
    God said, “It was more like forsaking.”

  74. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    No one laughed at my yarns at my school,
    and rejected my puns, as a rule.
    So to cover my hurt
    I embroidered a shirt
    With big letters that read, “This Is Crewel!”

  75. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Non- Rejection”

    They love me intensely, Hot Damn!
    I’m known as their “sweet little lamb.”
    I’ve never been spurned.
    Not once have I yearned
    The calls do not stop from A. Scam.

  76. Lisi Nortman says:

    Slight Correction Of “The Dubious Crust Patisserie” (better)

    The “Dubious Crust” ad that I
    Read today is a fraudulent lie.
    It reads, “Go get your phones
    Order baked goods from drones”
    Now that is one pie in the sky.

  77. The bartender’s whiskey and rye.
    Had a customer happy to buy.
    “My motto,” he droned,
    From Sir Paul,” he intoned.
    “McCartney said, liver let die.”

  78. Those queen bees, from the perch of their thrones,
    Elicit distinct moans and groans
    From the workers (their serfs,
    Who’re all tending their turfs)–
    And the loudest? The lecherous drones!

  79. The rotund kids, in gym class, are last
    To get picked for the team; there’s a caste
    System high school employs
    In which svelte girls and boys
    Treat like shit those they deem too fat-assed.

  80. The tequila’s the best one aroun’.
    And flautas are crispy and brown.
    Tortillas hand thrown.
    I’m sorry to drone.
    This blogger says taco the town.

  81. Terry Marter says:

    With her favourite thrones, – judging ‘Drones’
    Sits the Queen, far from those who throw stones
    Any drone-on effect
    Clearly means a reject.
    Once her winner is known, – ‘stows the thrones.

  82. Lisi Nortman says:

    I wanted to get uncontrolled.
    But the “phone sex” seemed distant and cold.
    I felt no affection,
    But lots of rejection
    When “Ms. Sex Goddess” put me on hold.

  83. Lisi Nortman says:

    Sexier Limerick Than Above

    I wanted to get uncontrolled.
    Yet the “phone sex” seemed distant and cold.
    I felt no affection,
    But lots of rejection
    When “Ms. Hot Panties” put me on hold.

  84. My slumbers disrupted, the drone.
    Of my partner, won’t stop, and I groan.
    Put snoring to bed,
    I bought him instead.
    Breathe Right, the no noisy nose bone.

  85. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Unprecedented Rejection”

    With my wife, I am totally through!
    I’m horny, fed-up, and so blue!
    I told my dog, Sadie
    “Now you’ll be “my lady”
    It’s hopeless! She rolled over too.

  86. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Grand Concourse Of Winter: Miami, Of Course!

    After hatching, they’re fruitfully fertile.
    They want babies, just watch them all hurtle.
    They hate all the drones
    In icy-cold zones
    And the leader is Myrtle The Turtle.

  87. Roger Haugen says:

    He couldn’t discern a connection
    Between his bad acts and rejection,
    When friend after friend
    Said “This is the end,”–
    His strong suit was not introspection.

  88. Roger Haugen says:

    Asked his physician who did the inspection,
    “When’s the last time you had an erection?”
    The guy said, “Don’t know,
    ‘Was a long time ago,
    ‘Might have been after Clinton’s election.”

  89. Terry Marter says:

    I treat most with respect or affection
    And do not foster hate or rejection.
    But I too feel the pain
    Of the folk in Ukraine,
    So for Putin I’ll make an exception.

  90. Lisi Nortman says:

    The worst toy for all girls and boys,
    Puts an end to all “parenting joys.”
    The champion’s Drones!
    Can’t you hear all the groans?
    It wins for “Most Maddening Noise.”

  91. Lisi Nortman says:

    Most people still say they don’t care
    ‘Bout noises that buzz in the air
    From maddening drones,
    Which rattle my bones.
    It’s more peaceful to sleep at O’Hare.

  92. Rudy Landesman says:

    When the curtain went up at the Met,
    Some yahoos applauded the set.
    The soprano’s high “C”
    Was whooped. So you see,
    To eject them would be the best bet.

  93. Lisi Nortman says:

    So blissful and fully well-blown,
    I suppressed my traditional moan.
    Cuz we thought we heard drones
    With loud buzzing tones
    Something told us we weren’t alone.

  94. Lisi Nortman says:

    Same Limerick, With Pronoun Changes

    So blissful and fully well-blown,
    I suppressed my traditional moan.
    Cuz I thought I heard drones
    With loud buzzing tones.
    Something told me we weren’t alone.

  95. Tony Holmes says:

    “Oh, rejection is more than just pain.
    ‘Will I ever be wanted again?’
    It’s the fear that you’re not
    Either gorgeous or hot,
    And at seven-years old, that’s strain.”

  96. Dane Paulsen says:

    Politian rejection.

    A Politian drowned – execution.
    In local river is pollution.
    If all of them drown,
    No need to frown.
    Then it would be a solution.

  97. Lisi Nortman says:

    The recession has hurt many zones.
    All the haulers have taken out loans.
    To end all the losses,
    The decree from the boss is:
    UPS will deliver the drones.

  98. Lisi Nortman says:

    Change Of One Word: Line 5

    The recession has hurt many zones.
    All the haulers have taken out loans.
    To end all the losses,
    The decree from the Boss is:
    UPS will now drop ship the drones.

  99. Linda Fuller says:

    A speaker who mumbles and drones
    Will be greeted with hisses and moans
    From an audience mainly
    Comprised of ungainly
    Glass housers who shouldn’t throw stones

  100. Linda Fuller says:

    A queen mates with multiple drones
    (Who must have the requisite stones)
    But no need for money
    Just sweet words like honey
    To tickle erogenous zones

  101. Linda Fuller says:

    Rejection of Injection Against Infection

    Not with a pole ten feet long
    Will I touch this in word or in song
    Not one of my goals
    To awaken the trolls
    To argue who’s right and who’s wrong

  102. Derek Sellen says:

    A psycho with plenty of drones
    would spy on the neighbouring Jones –
    he fed his suspicion
    but they’d ammunition
    and pelted his drones with their stones

  103. Derek Sellen says:

    Some say that Bob Dylan’s voice drones –
    “let’s ban him from all microphones!” –
    but the Nobel committee
    judge his wordplay is pretty
    though not sure if he sings or he moans.

  104. Derek Sellen says:

    In the most cutting-edge combat zones
    no-one risks their flesh or their bones,
    they kill all resistance
    from a sensible distance,
    just a game that they play with their drones.

  105. Lisi Nortman says:

    The Consequences Of Rejection

    I thought Jim and I were a “we”,
    Till he kicked me and fractured my knee.
    But he didn’t know
    How low I could go.
    Cuz hell hath no fury like me.

  106. Lisi Nortman says:


    She said it felt good when I’d hold’er
    But lately, Jane’s acting much colder.
    I guess it is clear
    I’m no longer her “dear”
    Cuz now I’ve got snow on my shoulder.

  107. Lisi Nortman says:


    I adored her, we had so much fun.
    Then one day she said, “We are done.”
    I guess I’m a dope,
    But I’m still filled with hope.
    And this torch must weigh one goddam ton.

  108. Lisi Nortman says:

    In our bed, so rejected and blue,
    We were wondering, “What shall we do?’
    Didn’t move, we stayed long
    Till Bill asked, “What’s wrong?”
    “Can’t YOU think of someone else too?”

  109. Derek Sellen says:

    I played music for coins like a hobo
    but the bagpipes I squeezed were a no-go:
    the wheezes and drones
    were greeted with groans –
    and that’s why I took up the oboe.

  110. Bob Turvey says:

    Modern research shows honey bee drones
    In hot weather produce sex hormones.
    Then hormone overload
    Makes each penis explode
    And both drone and the Queen emit moans.

    [Very loosely based on current bee research by Dr Alison McAfee at UBC.]

  111. Daisy WARD says:

    The sky was flooded with drones
    Deliveries from warehouse cones
    Packages dropped at the door
    Some fell through the floor
    Inside were hundreds of clones

  112. Dane Paulsen says:

    Mad, my 2/20/22 2:54 pm Lim “rejected by a peer” refers to a 2/14/22
    10:40 pm (demeaning) Lim calling me a “new punster hero”. Another

    I didn’t know how wild he be.
    Shot down and embarrassed by he.
    “Punster hero” – I smiled.
    That would be wild.
    But I am improving – you’ll see.

  113. Terry Marter says:

    They whinge, in continuous moans;
    Their acquaintances call them The Drones.
    Doom and gloom from their face;
    They waste air and space
    With the grace of a coven of crones.

  114. Lisi Nortman says:

    I’ve heard the soft humming of birds,
    And giraffes as they pace in their herds.
    So why all the “drones”
    With musical tones?
    Did those creatures forget all the words?

  115. Lisi Nortman says:

    “High Noon” Grace Kelly, Gary Cooper 1952 (Rejection)

    My Baby Doll, you’re so good-lookin’.
    You said that ,”We’ll always be cookin’
    It’s our “spesh” wedding day.
    Oh, don’t run away.
    If you dump me, I’ll feel real forsook’in.

  116. Sondra Landin says:

    A True Story

    Her Mozart was brilliant to hear;
    The judges’ announcement loomed near.
    But with Schumann she faltered,
    Their decision they altered –
    No piano prize given that year!

  117. Rudy Landesman says:

    Dual purpose?

    Buzz buzz buzz, on and on went her drone.
    All day long she was on that damn phone.
    She felt disrespected
    When she was rejected.
    By whom and for what is not known.

  118. Tony Holmes says:

    “Those who’ve been there will never make light
    Of rejection. Recalling her slight
    Even now, I go cold.
    ‘Ooh … no thanks! You’re too old.’
    ‘Tis that sting gets me up every night.”

  119. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Of the jargon humanity owns
    (words from roots that our populace clones),
    Be it policy-speak
    Or cliche of the week,
    My most favorite buzzword is “drones.”

  120. Fred Bortz says:

    In honor of my friends who were part of Carnegie Tech’s bagpipe corps.

    The neighbors all want to throw stones.
    They threaten to break all my bones
    Whenever I practice
    My musical act, as
    My bagpipes have horrible drones.

  121. Fred Bortz says:

    Dear Author, Your work I decline,
    Though I love every nuance and line.
    It’s sexy and funny,
    And we pay good money,
    But not for our readers, age nine.

  122. Terry Marter says:

    Mad, please delete my Feb. 28. at 11.05am and replace with this version. Thanks.

    True story. Happening a lot, apparently.

    NYT without further ado
    Has deemed I’m on Wordle streak two.
    I was doing just fine
    But my game 39
    Streak’s been ended, so Wordle, – screw you!

  123. Terry Marter says:

    So my Bucket List’s gone (if you get my gist)
    Too risky; at my age my back could twist.
    But I’m no longer sad, –
    There’s so much I can add
    To my new one, – I call it my Fuck-it list.

  124. Dane Paulsen says:

    Our brightest rejecting politics. A sentiment attributed to Plato.

    It’s sad that a young newcomer.
    Too smart for politics, a bummer.
    Though not a bad guy.
    He’s then punished by,
    Being governed by those who are dumber.

  125. Dane Paulsen says:

    Politicians rejecting commonsense. A sentiment attributed to
    Nikita Khrushchev.

    Politicians don’t differ by a sliver.
    They promise that they will deliver.
    A lie, just a smidge.
    They’ll build a great bridge,
    Even where there is no river.

  126. Lisi Nortman says:

    A Lifetime Of Rejection

    Since birth, I was spurned and ignored.
    When delivered, “Doc Pull ‘Em Out” roared.
    He took one quick look.
    And violently shook.
    Then strangled himself with the cord.

  127. Lisi Nortman says:

    Rejected and always so blue,
    I never knew quite what to do.
    Spurned by both mom and dad,
    (Though it made me real sad),
    They did visit me at the zoo.

  128. Lisi Nortman says:

    Another Attempt At “Rejected From Birth” (better)

    Since birth, I was spurned and ignored.
    When delivered, my shocked Mama roared.
    She took one quick look.
    And violently shook.
    Then strangled herself with the cord.

  129. Mark Totterdell says:

    If this limerick grabs your attention
    With its humour and wit and invention,
    It could win the Award.
    If it just leaves you bored
    Then you won’t even give it a ‘Mention’.

  130. Tim James says:

    I approached a young lady today
    And I asked for a date — but no way.
    Though rejection is hell,
    I can handle it well.
    Hey, practice makes perfect, they say.

  131. Sondra Landin says:

    In my dreams I crave hot buttered scones,
    And also some yummy corn pones;
    But before I can sate
    I know I must wait,
    ‘Til my genie delivers by drones!

  132. Steve Benko says:

    Said the queen bee of sex with her drones,
    “While they’re screwing, they’re all on their phones.
    I’m sick of their texting;
    I guess that the next thing
    They’ll want is to give them some loans.”

  133. Pluto rejected as feared.
    Not talking about one pup eared.
    The guys of astro,
    I’m hearing hi ho.
    Calling it dwarf, with out beard.

  134. Maybe a little better?

    Pluto ejected as feared.
    Not talking about one pup eared.
    The guys of astro,
    I’m hearing hi ho.
    Calling it dwarf, that seems weird.

  135. Rudy Landesman says:

    I started to write a new sonnet
    For a girl with a bee in her bonnet.
    But which one’s the drone?
    That needs to be known.
    ‘Twould behoove me to ponder upon it.

  136. Her marker on whiteboard applied.
    Had started from upper left side.
    She filled it and droned.
    The test was postponed.
    Most the class, due to boredom, had died.

  137. another try with my 2/24 attempt

    My sleeping disrupted, the drone.
    Of my partner, won’t stop, and I groan.
    Want to bash in his head,
    But bought him instead.
    A nasal congestion nose bone.*

    * Breathe Right can save your relationship, or at least your sleep and sanity.

  138. Dane Paulsen says:

    The madam reviver deified alone.
    To refer in a civic level drone.
    To radar on racecar,
    Or kayak – bizarre?
    Nine words above a palindrome.

  139. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    The Honey Bee King of Corn Pones
    Loved to huff into huge megaphones:
    “Lo! I sorely need wives
    Who will tend to my hives,
    And a Queen who’ll encourage my drones!”

  140. Tony Holmes says:

    “I am sure that, at heart, I’m a bee.
    My sole function? To make others be.
    Mother Nature condones
    The existence of drones,
    So, society should value me.”

  141. Tony Holmes says:

    “I am sure that, at heart, I’m a bee.
    My sole function? To make others be.
    Mother Nature condones
    The existence of drones,
    So, society should value me.”

    “But it doesn’t, it says I’m a louse!
    If I’m not fornicating, I grouse.
    I am never content,
    Ever bumming for rent,
    And the bane of my common-law spouse.”

  142. Lisi Nortman says:

    “Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold”

    A Bulldog will grumble in tones
    Which sound just like murm-er-ing drones.
    But the worst dogged noise
    That re-now-dly annoys
    Is the grunt that is Don Corleone’s.

  143. Rudy Landesman says:

    A reworking of Sondra Landin’s limerick (March 1, 8:40 pm) with a helpful suggestion from Tony Holmes of Cornwall. Sondra suggested that I submit this.

    I ordered some real Cornish scones.
    Instead, they delivered corn pones.
    I really did scream
    I had bought clotted cream
    Flown in from Great Britain by drones.

  144. Tim James says:

    Tom the deviant currently owns
    High-def vid cams that fly on his drones.
    He was peeping at Dawn
    Till her brother caught on.
    Tom’s now sporting a few broken bones.

  145. Lisi Nortman says:

    An Optimistic Viewpoint Of “Senior Citizen Love Affairs”

    It’s nice when the “seniors” befriend
    A mate on whom they can depend.
    After time, one’s rejected,
    Yet hardly affected.
    Cuz the starting point’s close to the end.

  146. Lisi Nortman says:


    It happens to be a true fact
    That we senior folk still can attract.
    If by chance, one’s rejected
    They’re hardly affected.
    Since the romance is mainly One Act.

  147. Lisi Nortman says:

    (the best one) ?

    It’s nice when the seniors befriend
    A mate on whom they can depend.
    If by chance, one’s rejected,
    They’re hardly affected.
    Cause the starting point’s almost the end.

  148. Dane Paulsen says:

    “I’d like a Pepsi”, said Joan.
    “We have Coke”, the waitress did drone.
    “Then I’ll take a gram,
    And a Pepsi, madame”.
    Said Joan with a smile full-blown.

  149. Dane Paulsen says:

    Shopping for golf balls, though full of doubts.
    I hit balls into net, their workouts.
    I act like a drone,
    But no skill have I shown.
    They sold me a box of X-outs.

  150. Dane Paulsen says:

    The game rejects me.

    My golfing effort is valent.
    My attempt to launch ball is gallant.
    But they, say I suffer from LOFT.
    And what that means, they scoffed.
    Is (lack of f**king talent).

  151. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    A young student done-in by pre med,
    Thought he’d ace aeronautics instead.
    He vowed, “I’ll make my bones
    By mastering drones!”
    But the subject was over his head.

  152. Dane Paulsen says:

    She rejects her husband’s financial strategy.

    “I know about what you withhold.
    Our LIFE SAVINGS on dogs? How BOLD”!
    “They’re Golden Retrievers,
    We must be believers.
    I did it cuz they retrieve gold”.

  153. David Friedman says:

    Having sex in her pool, Mrs. Jones
    Was filmed by a couple of drones.
    The clip, it went viral
    As there’s no denial
    It’s quite a nice pool that she owns.

  154. David Friedman says:

    Despite his enormous erection,
    Poor Tony felt only dejection.
    “The girls,” Tony said
    “All saw it and fled
    And I just can’t deal with rejection.”

  155. David Friedman says:

    A couple of ugly old crones
    Responded to Tony’s sad drones:
    “Just bring that tumescence
    Right here in our presence
    Along with the rest of your bones.”

  156. David Friedman says:

    After some brief introspection,
    Tony declined the connection.
    He said, “Not tonight
    And cast in this light,
    I’m learning to cope with rejection.”

  157. David Friedman says:

    And that is why those two old crones
    Are home watching porn on their phones
    Without having Tony
    Or Tony’s baloney,
    But only a couple Padrons.

  158. madkane says:

    Attention all Limerick-Off Stragglers: The current Limerick-Off ends tomorrow, Saturday, at 4 pm (Eastern time.) So please get your limerick stragglers in.

  159. Dane Paulsen says:

    A four-man golf team it is clear.
    Performs best when the players adhere.
    Each skill will be used,
    And none are refused.
    I bring the snacks and some beer.

  160. Mark G. Kane says:

    Oh how she drones and she drones
    About ancient and sore, achy bones.
    I nod with concern,
    Wishing peace will return,
    While enjoying my nifty headphones.

  161. Mark Totterdell says:

    If the sounds of loud squeals, honks and groans
    And unmusical wavering drones
    Aren’t appealing to you,
    Then the best thing to do
    Is to not buy your children trombones.

  162. Dane Paulsen says:

    A stylish lady from Clive.
    Wore her hair piled high like a hive.
    A passing drone,
    Seeing his new home.
    Soon arranged for the queen to arrive.

  163. Dane Paulsen says:

    Maybe better.

    A stylish lady from Clive.
    Wore her hair piled high like a hive.
    A passing drone.
    Saw his new home,
    And arranged for the queen to arrive.

  164. Dane Paulsen says:

    They swarmed from hives led by a drone.
    Blocked sunlight, wherever they’ve flown.
    As day became night,
    In town square what a sight.
    Acts, very few would condone.

  165. Dane Paulsen says:

    Some bees found a field full of poppies.
    Ingesting they soon got the floppies.
    Then led by a drone.
    The queen left her throne.
    To partake in their fun, she soon copies.

  166. Sjaan VandenBroeder says:

    Childhood mem’ries are starting to fade,
    Of those picnics in parks in the shade,
    When removal of drones,
    From assigned no-fly zones,
    Was achieved with a few squirts of Raid.

  167. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun two weeks of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Limerick-Off Award 490. Congratulations to the winners!

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick-Off Strain.