Limerick of the Week (64)

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Jamie Hutchinson who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A fellow came forth to be wed
By a judge before whom he had pled
So often that now,
When asked for his vow,
By habit “Not guilty!” he said.

Congratulations to John Peter Larkin who wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A woman was planning to wed
And visions of bliss filled her head.
But it all came to naught
When her lover was caught
With the wife he’d neglected to shed.

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Jane Shelton Hoffman, Richard Schear, Linda Fuller, Elaine Spall, Johanna Richmond, and Robert Schechter. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Jane Shelton Hoffman:

A fellow was planning to wed
Till he found out they’d both been misled.
She said she was Doris.
Turned out she was Horace.
And he was an Alice, not Fred!

Richard Schear:

A fellow was planning to wed
A girl who was all in his head.
He thought, “No big deal
If she is unreal.
At least she won’t nag me in bed.”

Linda Fuller:

A woman was nervous to wed
A man with a nose cherry red.
Was it booze? Inflammation?
A freaky mutation?
Or should he be pulling a sled?

Elaine Spall:

A fellow was planning to wed
And pleased when his fiance said,
“I don’t think I can swap.
I just must be on top.”
Then he found out she bought a bunk bed.

Johanna Richmond:

Mister Romney will now try to wed
Mainstream views to extreme things he’s said,
But Ayn Randian mean
Is a bitch to scrub clean;
Ain’t no hosing that tea from his bed.

Robert Schechter:

A woman was planning to wed
A man who was thoroughly dead.
“The long and the short is
I love rigor mortis,”
She winked. “It’s so useful in bed.”

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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10 Responses to “Limerick of the Week (64)”

  1. Johanna Richmond says:

    Nice one, Jamie! Enjoyed them all!

  2. My husband, Richard Schear, is now a great fan of yours, Madeleine, because he managed to get on the Honorable Mention list before I could.
    Great fun, limericking!

  3. scott says:

    Congrats Jamie, I agree with Mad’s verdict!

    Great limericks everyone!

  4. madkane says:

    Kay, there’s nothing quite like some spousal rivalry. :)

  5. Jane Hoffman says:

    Wow! What a great group of limericks to be an HM among!!!!

  6. Veralynne says:

    Exceptional quality this week, you guys!

  7. Sara V says:

    My personal faves are Linda’s ho ho ho, and Robert’s–who rose to the occasion *wink*

  8. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    thanks, mad … very funny stuff, everybody!

  9. madkane says:

    Congratulations again to all the winners. What a great batch of contenders we had last week!

  10. Sara McNulty says:

    I am still laughing, Robert Schechter. That was hysterical, and it’s not just because my maiden name is Schechter!