Posts Tagged ‘Animal Verse’

Yet Another World Rhino Day Limerick

Saturday, September 22nd, 2018

There once was a newlywed rhino
Who discovered her mate was a wino.
“We’re endangered,” she’d curse.
“Your damn wine makes it worse!”
“White wine’s fine,” he replied. “I’m albino.”

(My first rhino limerick is here. It’s included in the International Poetry Anthology For Rhino in a Shrinking World.)

Happy World Rhino Day! (September 22)

Goose Day (Limerick)

Thursday, September 29th, 2016

A farmer who tried to produce
A plausible, timely excuse
For gambling away
His nest egg, today
Came up empty, self-cooking his goose.

Happy Goose Day! (September 29)

Limerick Ode To The Lion

Wednesday, August 10th, 2016

It’s Lion Day. Give a big roar!
Categorical praise is in store
For the king of the jungle.
And kindly don’t bungle
This message: Show hunters the door.

World Snake Day Limerick (July 16)

Saturday, July 16th, 2016

Happy World Snake Day! (July 16)

A man was beginning to grasp
The danger of bites from an asp.
A thought bubble snaked
Through his brainwaves half-baked:
“Pet asp? I’m an ass!” — his last gasp!

Limerick-Off Monday – Rhyme Word: ROAD or RODE or ROWED at the end of Line 1 or 2 or 5

Saturday, October 24th, 2015

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same rhyme word. Then you post your limerick as a comment to this post and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick using ROAD or RODE or ROWED at the end of Line 1 or Line 2 or Line 5. (Homonyms or homophones are fine.)

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 10:00 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

Here’s my limerick:

Said a sandal-clad man on the road
To his newly bought country abode,
“Though I don’t mean to quibble,
I just felt a nibble.
Could my toes have encountered a toad?”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same rhyme word and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

For National Dog Day, A 2-Verse Acrostic Limerick

Wednesday, August 26th, 2015

For National Dog Day, a 2-Verse Acrostic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Canine friends are my subject today,
And I love to watch dogs on display,
Never letting you down.
I can’t see why you’d frown
Near a puppy that just wants to play.

Ev’ry pooch needs a human to love.
(People swear they’re a gift from above.)
Always loyal and sweet–
Lets you know: “Time to eat!”
So line up to adopt and don’t shove.

Limerick Ode to the Horse

Saturday, December 13th, 2014

Happy “National Day of the Horse.”

Limerick Ode to the Horse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s the “National Day of the Horse.”
Till I’m hoarse, I of course shall endorse.
On the racecourse or farm
Or police force, what charm!
It had better not be your main course.

The Intruder (4-Verse Limerick)

Monday, July 28th, 2014

The Intruder (4-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It’s dark and we’re out on our deck.
My sandals are off and then… Heck!
I yell words rather worse
And I scream and I curse
And turn into a blubbering wreck.

For my toes had encountered some ooze
When I slipped my feet into my shoes.
Seems a large, squishy slug
Had crawled (like a bug)
In my sandal. I now need some booze.

I jump and run off to the sink.
About gook, I am raising a stink.
Mark examines my sandal
And freaks at the vandal;
That mollusk still lurks there, the fink!

“It’s gross and gigantic,” he yells.
“And it’s slimy. Like snails without shells.”
Then he acts like a hero
And wins. Mollusk zero!
In my sandal, it no longer dwells.

*****

Are you familiar with slugs? They’re gross-looking, squishy critters (sort of snails without shells.) Super disgusting!

Now imagine you’re sitting on your porch in the dark, watching a video when, unbeknownst to you, a slug crawls into one of your sandals.

Now picture absent-mindedly sliding your foot into that sandal.

Yes, I screamed at the top of my lungs.

And yes, Mark thought I was insane, until I made him look inside my sandal.

But Mark did ultimately redeem himself by disposing of that large, snake-like critter.

Limerick Ode To “Take Your Dog To Work Day”

Friday, June 20th, 2014

If the thought of dogs at work gives you pause, you might want to play hooky on “Take Your Dog To Work Day.” It’s celebrated each year on the first Friday after Father’s Day, so this year it falls on June 20th.

Limerick Ode To “Take Your Dog To Work Day”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Do you hear any barking at work?
If so, you’re not going berserk.
“Take Your Dog To Work” days
Can cause canine arrays
Once a year. It’s a white collar perk.

(If you prefer, there’s always Take Your Parents To Work Day.)

In A Pig’s Eye!

Sunday, December 1st, 2013

I rarely write science-related limericks. But I just couldn’t resist this headline: “‘Humans evolved after a female chimpanzee mated with a pig’: Extraordinary claim made by American geneticist.”

In A Pig’s Eye!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You might ask how a masculine pig
Got a chimp that was female to dig
Him enough to have sex.
I’m guessing a hex,
Using feathers and maybe a fig.

A Spa To Hiss (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 30th, 2013

If being wrapped in pythons would enhance your massage experience, do I have a spa for you! Get yourself right over to the Bali Heritage Reflexology and Spa in Jakarta, Indonesia, which claims that snake-draping combats stress.

A Spa To Hiss (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Oh joy! Here’s a spa to avoid:
When massaging you, snakes are deployed.
Yes, they drape you in snakes,
Claiming fear aids your aches.
You feel great … right until you’re destroyed.

Limericks By The Pound (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, June 16th, 2013

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman had spent her last pound…*

or

A fellow went down to the pound…*

or

A woman bought less than a pound…*

or

A fellow was trying to pound…*

or

A professor would often expound…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limericks By The Pound
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow went down to the pound
With plans to adopt a cute hound.
His spouse said, “Think small,”
But he brought home a tall
St. Bernard. Now his wife’s outward bound.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Pigging Out On Weed (Limerick)

Thursday, May 23rd, 2013

People aren’t the only ones in Seattle enjoying weed; BB Ranch butcher William von Schneidau’s “pot pigs” are partaking in cannabis too. According to von Schneidau, adding “weed to the feed,” makes the pig meat more savory.

Pigging Out On Weed (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Feeding weed to your pigs, you’ll agree
Seems a little bit odd, but you see
There’s a butcher who’ll swear
It makes tastier fare.
This doesn’t sound kosher to me.

Happy World Animal Day (3 Endangered Animal Limericks)

Wednesday, October 3rd, 2012

In Honor Of World Animal Day, celebrated annually on October 4th, here are three endangered species limericks: Limerick Odes to the Tasmanian Forester Roo, the Hippopotamus, and the African Wild Ass. (I previously posted my Rhino limerick, which is included in the International Poetry Anthology For Rhino in a Shrinking World.)

Limerick Ode To The Tasmanian Forester Roo
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Tasmanian Forester Roo
Is endangered. So here’s what to do:
Sign petitions. Give cash.
Host a fund-raising bash,
Else its time on this earth will be through.

Limerick Ode To The Hippopotamus
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When I look at a hippo I wonder:
What’s the size of its herbivore plunder?
At three point five tons,
It clearly outguns
Any crops as it tears them asunder.

Limerick Ode To The African Wild Ass
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The African Wild Ass, alas,
Is at risk. It may soon come to pass
That the last one dies out.
It’s endangered, no doubt.
This horse-cousin may vanish en masse.

UPDATE: February 15 is Hippo Day and Endangered Species Day falls on the third Friday of May.

Happy World Rhino Day!

Friday, September 21st, 2012

Tomorrow, September 22nd, is World Rhino Day. And I’m very pleased to announce that my Limerick Ode To The Rhinoceros is included in the International Poetry Anthology For Rhino in a Shrinking World. And that it was one of five of the anthology’s poems read at a World Rhino Day celebration in Grahamstown, South Africa.

Limerick Ode To The Rhinoceros
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The rhino appears prehistoric,
With a diet that’s vega-caloric.
It’s endangered, alas.
Laws to save it must pass.
This would make all its lovers euphoric.

UPDATE: May 1 is Save The Rhino Day.

This Limerick’s For The Birds

Thursday, June 21st, 2012

I’ve been known to lash out against people who drive red cars:

Now I’m no scientist or statistician. I have no idea whether the color red inspires insanity in drivers, or if bad drivers are genetically attracted to it. All I know is that whenever I see a driver doing something spectacularly stupid, he’s doing it in a flaming red automobile.

But after reading this article about red cars and bird poop, I’m starting to feel a bit sorry for those drivers:

Research in five cities found 18 per cent of red cars were marked with deposits, followed by blue (14 per cent), black (11 per cent) and white (seven per cent).

For the cleanest ride, the best advice, appropriately, is to go green – just one per cent of that colour was smeared.

But even pity can’t stop me from writing this limerick:

This Limerick’s For The Birds
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a riveting fact about birds,
Which is likely to trigger foul words:
They like dropping their poo
Upon autos whose hue
Is red — their pet target for turds.

Pet Owners Independence Day Limerick (April 18)

Tuesday, April 17th, 2012

Are you all ready for National Pet Owners Independence Day?

A gal who’d been cleaning was jarred
By some leaves just dragged in from her yard.
Displaying a broom,
She yelled, “Sweep up this room!”
To her dog. (Guess she’s working too hard.)

Reining In Your Returns (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 10th, 2012

A horseback-riding reader asked me to write a tax-related limerick. Here’s what I came up with:

Reining In Your Returns (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To the folks who find horseback transcendent,
Please beware, you could be a defendant,
If when doing your tax,
You err to the max
By declaring your horse a “dependent.”

Waxing Silly About Science (Limerick)

Wednesday, January 25th, 2012

I strongly support stem cell research. But that doesn’t mean I won’t mock it. After all, science article titles like this are impossible to resist: Stem Cells Build a Better Rat Penis.

Waxing Silly About Science (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Is your rat penis painfully small?
There’s help for you — here’s who to call:
A Doc at Tulane —
His team will explain
How stem cells can make that thing tall.

A Limerick To Bear In Mind

Friday, December 16th, 2011

This limerick was inspired by these two news stories:

1) Cable guy finds sleeping bear in NJ basement; and
2) Black bear hitched a ride in garbage truck to downtown Vancouver.

A Limerick To Bear In Mind
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m not shocked that wild bears misbehave.
We’ve been stealing their homes as we pave.
So in cellars they hide
And in garbage trucks ride:
That’s called thinking outside of the cave.