Guileless Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus five Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal who seemed guileless and sweet…

or

A guy who seemed guileless and sweet…

Here’s mine. (It’s a two-verse limerick, but a standard one-verser will be fine, of course.)

Guileless Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
And consistently easy to beat,
Was exploited each day
Both at work and at play.
But she did have one weapon — the tweet.

That gal, it turns out, was quite bitter
And exacted revenge using Twitter.
Her micro remarks
Caused embarrassing sparks.
What a fabulous gossip emitter!

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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69 Responses to “Guileless Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. scott says:

    very clever Mad! ain’t technology wonderful?

    A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
    won his State’s Senatorial seat.
    That sweet guy is no more,
    he’s a Washington whore,
    and he’ll screw us all in a heartbeat.

  2. Granny Smith says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and and sweet
    Was guyless and anxious to meet
    Some One she could snuggle with
    And not have to struggle with
    Should they happen to meet ‘neath a sheet

  3. Granny Smith says:

    I love your limerick, Madeleine!

  4. Granny Smith says:

    A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
    Met a shy high school girl on the street.
    She took a chance
    Asking him to her dance.
    He said, “Sorry! I’m married. Meet Pete!”

  5. A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Was also a bit indiscreet
    She said, “let’s call Cupid!
    I LIKE my men stupid!
    They entitled her film, “Body Heat”

  6. versebender says:

    Good one, Mad!

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Was really quite full of deceit
    For under her sweater
    Was nature made better
    (If you like the feel of concrete)

  7. david waters says:

    brilliant…love it;)

  8. Jingle says:

    awesome………

    your wit is unbeatable.

    A++

  9. jesse levy says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    has knocked me right off of my feet.
    But she ruined my trust
    by showing her bust
    to every single guy she would meet!

  10. jesse levy says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    has knocked me right off of my feet.
    But she ruined my trust
    by showing her bust
    to each single guy she would meet!

    You’re right Mad. Thanks.

  11. madkane says:

    Thanks so much, everyone! These are delightful. Please keep them coming and cross-post on Facebook if you can.

  12. Henry Coe says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    went shopping for shoes as a treat
    she thought after, “a movie, I ought’a
    see The Devil wears Prada”
    with Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep.

  13. Henry Coe says:

    A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
    was tired beyond disbelief
    his limericks were weak
    but with both tongue and cheek,
    he made efforts and then went to go sleep.

  14. JL Dodge says:

    Hi Mad …
    Love this, we will give a try at it, however, we may have to post ours later than monday, hope you dont mind… but knowing our monday and wednesday posts,we know you understand… Multi-Prompt Monday and WOW(Words Of Wednesday) overwhelm most of our visitors… Tee Hee Hee!
    We will try to do it on tuesday…
    ENJOY !
    JL&B

  15. madkane says:

    Thanks JL Dodge. Don’t worry — you have an entire week to post. :) I’m looking forward to your limerick(s).

    Your blog posts are always fun and I encourage my readers to visit.

  16. A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    was, in truth, rather effete.
    She put on an act
    with complete want of tact
    fooled them all – what a terrible cheat.

  17. Patrick says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    was really just being discreet.
    She frequently fell,
    but not kiss and tell,
    and blushed at anything off-beat.

  18. Nimue says:

    I totally understand this ! been seen many such people in my liston twitter ! i tell you .. if some one known to them would read those , they wuld know how much sparks such tweets cause !!

  19. Nimue says:

    My first try :

    A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
    stood daily at the end of the street
    smiling at passing women
    but never a loot at men
    him,would you still like to meet ?

    PS : I will really like if you would tell me what i did wrong here :)

  20. earlybird says:

    love your use of the modern weapon!
    Here’s my contribution:

    A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
    with his mistress quite often did meet.
    When his wife found out
    she gave him a clout
    and accused him of being a cheat.

  21. madkane says:

    Nimue, here are the comments you requested:

    This isn’t bad for a first limerick, but there are some problems. Your A-rhyme (sweet, street, meet) is good, but you B-rhyme doesn’t work. (Women and men don’t rhyme, even though spelled the same, because women accents the first syllable.)

    Your poem also has some easily fixable meter problems. The best way to get a feel for the correct meter, is to read a lot of good limericks aloud. Here’s a quickie revision of yours to give you a feel for the right meter, which should maintain a triplet feel like da DA da da DA da da DA throughout.

    A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
    Often stood at the end of the street.
    He would smile at the gals
    And ignore their male pals.
    Is he someone you’d still like to meet?

  22. Nimue says:

    Got it ! thanks Kane :)
    Will write another one and link later !
    And yes, I will be bugging you often to correct my lines ;)

  23. madkane says:

    Thanks Earlybird!

    Nimue, you’re very welcome.

    And thanks everyone for your delightful limericks. And please keep them coming. You have the entire week to post your creations here. :)

  24. Tilly Bud says:

    Here’s mine:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Had a terrible hunger for meat.
    She ate first her brother,
    Dad, sister and mother,
    Then polished off folk in her street.

  25. Matty says:

    a guy who seemed guileless and sweet
    looked round for a gal he could meet
    as Maddie walked by
    he said with a cry
    your beauty is hotter than heat

    although he was stricken with lust
    cute Maddie pulled up on her bust
    she pointed her finger
    at his very hard dinger
    as he brushed off the layers of rust

  26. madkane says:

    Tilly, methinks I’ll have to stay away from your street.:)

  27. Shammi says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Opted for a kooky sort of treat
    Instead of coffee –
    Or chocolate, or toffee
    She preferred to eat – ugh – boiled sugar beet.

  28. Shammi says:

    Or a slight variation thereof:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Would find the weirdest things to eat
    When it was time for dessert
    She’d eschew cookies and sherbert.
    Oddly, boiled sugar beet was her favourite treat.

  29. madkane says:

    Shammy your first version is much better meter-wise, but could use some meter tinkering. Here’s one possibility:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Did opt for a kooky type treat.
    Not ice cream or coffee
    Or chocolate, or toffee —
    Her preference – ugh – boiled sugar beet.

  30. Ramesh Sood says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Met me in scorching sun and asked for a treat
    ‘Perhaps wants a cold drink’ so I thought
    And then went ahead and quietly bought
    Just about four, couldn’t tolerate heat …

  31. Shammi says:

    Thanks, Madeleine. Appreciate the tips! :)

  32. dustus says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Once told me I made her complete
    Though the joke was on me
    After we got married
    She gave headaches each night of the week

  33. Larry Moran says:

    I’m loving these limericks. What a great way to start off the week.

  34. Hansi says:

    A gal who was guileless and sweet
    Was a vegetarian who didn’t eat meat
    No matter how she tried
    She couldn’t Super Size
    The thought of bacon on her sprouts just wasn’t a treat.

  35. scott says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet,
    said she knelt at the President’s feet.
    The details that would follow,
    we found hard to swallow,
    but then, so was the President’s…..treat.

  36. fiveloaf says:

    i am sorry i cant do this but i like yours! mines here~ Nature’s Gravity

  37. Nicole says:

    I so enjoy your work. clever as always.

  38. Traci Bonney says:

    A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
    into anger would often retreat
    when anyone talked
    of how awkward he walked
    upon his two hobbit-like feet.

  39. David says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet,
    had been sharing by night many tweets.
    It appears that she griped,
    You see she drank as she typed.
    Her words became quite effusive,
    When she tweeted it seems that she tooted.

  40. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks and kind words. Please keep them coming — the limericks, not the kind words — though those are good too. :)

    David, I hope you don’t mind a suggestion: Your limerick was pretty good until the ending. But you have an extra line. A single verse limerick is five lines long. This is easily fixable if you drop the last two lines and replace them with something like this: “So her tweets were a tad indiscreet.”

  41. Victoria says:

    A girl who seemed guileless and sweet
    on an evening of simmering heat
    declared “Life is a bore;
    “there’s just got to be more.”
    Now you’ll find her out working the street

  42. Josette says:

    A girl who seemed guileless and sweet
    Only drank Scotch over “neat”
    She drank till she puked
    was sorely rebuked
    and promptly thrown out in the street

  43. Granny Smith says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Had a VOICE, her only conceit.
    She sang out so LOUD
    That her neighbors were cowed
    But a lynching mob formed in the street.

  44. Bodhirose says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Had a habit of delightful deceit
    When alone and concealed
    She danced naked in heels
    With the shades drawn so no one could peek

    It wasn’t that she was a poor dancer
    Or that she didn’t look good as a prancer
    But the dance that she chose
    Should be done on the toes
    And a fan used as a proper enhancer

  45. Dr. Goose says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Kept a scandalous secret discreet;
    The details, though taboo,
    May have something to do
    With her hairy, size seventeen feet.

  46. pamela says:

    Madeleine, I shall not venture into those waters, but I love reading yours and the others.

    Pamela

  47. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Whew, I’m “late” in entering the fray ~ Everyone, it’s so great to see all these submissions, and so much interest! :^D

    Something’s Afoot

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Was all that, but possessed stinky feet;
    Archly scrubbed rub-a-dub
    Every day in the tub,
    But crestfallen, met toe-tal de-feet.

  48. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Please Approach the Bench

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    For her fiancé judge, planned a treat:
    Into chambers she barged
    Purring, “Guilty, as charged!”
    Doffed her raincoat, ensemble complete.

    He inquired, “You a perp or a vic?”
    Grinned and stretched: “Well, we’d better be quick!”
    Silken strides, no words uttered:
    Quite impressed, the judge muttered,
    “Something tells me those charges won’t stick.”

    Then doors opened to Counsel (Opposing):
    “Whoops, Judge, I had thought you were dozing!”
    The couple froze, glaring;
    He leered, “Thanks for sharing
    Your pairing: A coup for my closing!”

  49. brian says:

    the tweet is a powerful weapon indeed…i have verizon dsl running scared at the moment b/c of them…nice bit of limerick…

  50. Dr. Goose says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet,
    When asked what she wanted to eat,
    Attracted a crowd
    While enthusing aloud
    How she savored the taste of jerked meat.

  51. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Dr. Goose, you are officially “on the loose” with this last one: but I’ll bet dollars to doughnuts that “this” gal is not your previous one of the size seventeen feet! :) Though she, too, would attract a [quite different] crowd…

  52. madkane says:

    What a fun selection of limericks. Thanks everyone. And please keep them coming. I don’t pick the winners until Sunday, so you have lost of time to write and post your limericks.

  53. trisha says:

    modern weapon of revenge! brilliant poem :)

    trisha

  54. LBTL says:

    This was nice, fun and funny at the same time…ah! what anger, hurt and bitterness can do to a sweet and guileless gal!!! We are the sum of our experiences :(

    In Search Of Jasmine

  55. Elaine Spall says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Was really a ruthless card cheat
    Way bove mediocre
    Especially at poker
    Her “face” had the whole table beat

  56. Amanda says:

    Ah Ha! very cute, sorry I am late on this one
    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Caused her lover to go white as a sheet
    Yes he did adore her
    And oh he implored her
    Then discovered her name should be Pete!

  57. Johanna Richmond says:

    A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
    Built his rep on “backspace” and “delete”;
    His friends thought him kind,
    Well-intentioned, refined;
    Oh, the ease of world wide web deceit.

  58. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks. I’m really enjoying them and look forward to even more. Please keep them coming. :)

  59. Catherine says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Went out with her beau for a treat
    She was shocked and distressed
    As he quickly undressed
    And offered her some of his meat

    A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
    Asked his gal for a date through a tweet
    She said that she couldn’t
    Perhaps she meant shouldn’t
    She was currently walking the street

  60. Johanna Richmond says:

    Another for Christine O’Donnell

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Just a target of “liberal elite”
    Well that gal, it turns out
    Was no honest girl scout;
    Check out her campaign balance sheet

  61. Granny Smith says:

    Two Part(y) Limerick

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    Was riled when faced with deceit.
    “I thought he was Dem
    But he’s one of Them
    Who steal from the man in the street!”

    She shook her head sadly and sighed
    “Can a leopard change spots?” she decried
    “This guy is so stealthy –
    Gives alms to the wealthy.
    Can an elephant change its thick hide?!”

  62. scott says:

    Granny, I love your limerick above.
    ‘gives alms to the wealthy’ is a great line!

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet,
    held contests where all could compete.
    Whether good or real bad,
    we’re all welcomed at Mads,
    and our esteem for Miss K is complete.

  63. Johanna Richmond says:

    A guy who seemed guileless and sweet
    Wept for children of moneyed elite
    But he shed not one tear
    For those not in his sphere
    Is that feeling or stone cold conceit?

  64. Granny Smith says:

    A gal who seemed guileless and sweet
    And pretty and wholesome and neat –
    Though the wine she uncorks
    Is labeled from Forks –
    Are you sure she’s the one you should meet?

  65. madkane says:

    Thanks again everyone for your delightful limericks. I’ve very much enjoyed them.

    This week’s contest is officially over and a new one has begun. You can find out who won this week’s Limerick of the Week here.

    As for my new Limerick-Off Challenge, I’ve posted it here: Nameless Limerick.

    Thanks again!

  66. jinksy says:

    A gal who seemed guiless and sweet
    was blessed with delectable feet.
    But she danced dusk till dawn
    and developed a corn,
    so was greteful to find a good seat!

  67. madkane says:

    Thanks for your fun limerick Jinksy.