Posts Tagged ‘Writing Contests’

Limerick of the Week (107) (Updated)

Sunday, March 31st, 2013

It’s time to announce the latest Limerick of the Week based on submissions (on this blog and on Facebook) in last week’s Limerick-Off.

Congratulations to Will T. Laughlin, who wins Limerick of the Week for this funny verse:

A bell-ringer, lusty and bold,
Wished a lass in his arms to enfold.
But a bell made of brass
Fell and flattened his ass:
Said the girl, “Now his tail has been tolled!”

Congratulations to Sue Dulley, who win the Special Spring-Themed Limerick Award for this funny limerick:

Spring is sprung, can the snow now please vanish,
And sunshine our discontent banish?
As of now it makes sense
To get ourselves hence
Somewhere warm where the people speak Spanish.

Congratulations to Sue Dulley, who also wins this week’s Facebook Friends’ Choice Award for this limerick which received the most Facebook “likes.”

A woman was terribly bold,
Catching looks on the street as she strolled.
She made some eyes pop
In a skimpy crop-top,
With her jeans hanging low and be-holed.

Congratulations again to Will T. Laughlin, who wins a special Limerick Saga Award, occasionally given to a very clever multi-verse limerick.

PRINTER’S DEVIL (A typographical soap opera)

There once was a Courier Bold
Who was, at Times, Roamin’, I’m told;
For he had that Type Face
That led gals to disgrace,
And his Serifs? A joy to behold.

At the end of the line, smooth as talcum,
He’d find Widows and Orphans, and stalcum.
Then he’d woo them a while
In a Goudy Old Style,
‘Til at home he was no longer walcum.

His wife Arial, sick with frustration,
Was burning with humiliation.
“I’ll Gill him!” she cried,
And went flush on each side
(For she knew she had Justification).

Her husband soon learned to beware her,
And went all italic in terror.
Claimed he, “What you’ve heard
Is completely absurd:
It’s a mere typographical error!”

But his wife cried, “Too late! I don’t care if
You deny it, or call for the sheriff!”
Her fury still burning,
She tightened his kerning…
(Her husband is now a Sans-Serif).

And congratulations to these Honorable Mention winners (in random order) Kathy El-Assal, Phyllis Sterling Smith a/k/a Granny Smith, Johanna Richmond, Robert Schwarztrauber, Tom Hale, Charley Simmons, Colleen Murphy, and Jared Wright. Here are their respective Honorable Mention limericks:

Kathy El-Assal:

Old Man Winter’s been blust’ry and bold,
Causing many complaints about cold:
“We miss seeing green
So stop being mean
And let global warming unfold!”

Phyllis Sterling Smith:

Spring flutters in, fabulous flirt,
Flicks winter’s last snows from her skirt.
Released from storm’s prison,
Our garden hopes risen,
We neighbors are sharing the dirt.

Johanna Richmond:

As metaphors go, this one’s bold,
But it’s time, guys, our story is told.
You want your gal peaking?
Hold off headline seeking –
The best news is under the fold.

Robert Schwarztrauber:

A girl who was terribly bold,
Picked the pockets of men as she strolled.
The men were all pleased
When their butt cheek got squeezed,
‘Til they found later on they’d been rolled.

Tom Hale:

A woman who frequently bowled,
Got frostbitten fingers—that’s cold.
Said, “I ain’t defeated:
My toes were well heated!”
And boldly with tootsies she rolled.

Charley Simmons:

A man who was terribly bold
Rolled nine strikes in a row, I’ve been told.
He leaped in the air,
With arrogant flair,
Racked his balls, now his game is on hold.

Colleen Murphy:

The first time I went out and bowled
My strike count, it tallied ten-fold.
My shocked friends inquired
Just what had transpired.
I answered, “Well, that’s how I rolled!”

Jared Wright:

A Catholic terribly bold
One day from the pulpit extolled
The Jacks and the Jills
Who didn’t use pills
Affirming their births uncontrolled.

“And condoms one ought to refuse,”
He added, expounding his views.
“Leave sex ‘open-ended’
The way God intended,
Don’t ‘cover your head’ like the Jews!”

But some of the women who heard
Considered the teachings absurd.
So when their brave knights
Sought conjugal rights,
The womenfolk boldly demurred.

Still as we all know God endows
The menfolk whom women espouse
With failures to purge
Themselves of the urge,
Or add celibacy to their vows.

So one may behold the effects
Of following @pontifex:
As sure as my nose
The Cath’lic Church grows
When billions of faithful have sex!

Congratulations again to all the winners for your wonderful limericks. And thanks to everyone for your fun submissions.

In the next couple of minutes I’ll be posting a new Limerick-Off, which gives you yet another opportunity to win Limerick Of The Week.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Limerick Ode To The New Yorker Festival

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

The New Yorker Festival is holding a limerick contest, and the winner gets a batch of Festival tickets for two. Here’s my entry:

Limerick Ode To The New Yorker Festival
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The New Yorker is hosting a fête —
A must-see for the erudite set.
Famous people galore
Shall be speaking full-bore,
And no intellect’s need goes unmet.

Limerick Writing Contest With Money Prizes … and the Topic Is…

Tuesday, June 12th, 2007

If you’ve followed my previous limerick contests, you know that it’s just about time for another one.

So here’s my challenge: Write a money-related limerick (earning it, spending it, saving it, investing it, winning it, wasting it, being taxed on it, etc.) and post it here in a comment to this post, no later than Wednesday, June 27, 2007. (You may enter as many limericks as you’d like.) I’ll announce the winners on Thursday, June 28, 2007.

The first prize will be $25. The second prize will be $10. Both prizes will be paid via PayPal.

So, what exactly is a limerick? It’s a five line poem with an AABBA rhyme scheme and a very specific meter exemplified by these winning entries. (For more information about limericks check out these fine sites: Encyclospeedia Oedilfica and OEDILF.)

I’m looking forward to reading your entries! 

Update: This contest is now closed, and the names of the winners and their winning entries are here. Thanks so much for your many excellent submissions. 

Mother’s Day Limerick Contest … With Money Prizes (Updated: Prize Money Increase)

Sunday, April 29th, 2007

My spring limerick contest was such a success, I’ve decided to hold limerick contests regularly.  And it’s time for another one. 

So here’s my challenge: Write a limerick related to the subject of mothers and post it here in a comment to this post no later than Saturday, May 12, 2007.  I’ll announce the winners on Mother’s Day, May 13, 2007.

The first prize will be $25.  The second prize will be $10.  Both prizes will be paid via PayPal.

So, what exactly is a limerick?  It’s a five line poem with an AABBA rhyme scheme and a very specific meter exemplified by these winning entries. (For more information about limericks check out these fine sites: Encyclospeedia Oedilfica and OEDILF.)

I’m looking forward to reading your entries!

UPDATE: The prize money has just doubled, thanks to a matching funds contest sponsorship by Billy Jones a/k/a Billy The Blogging Poet. Thanks to Billy’s generosity,  there now will be $50 in first prize money and $20 in second prize money. Very cool, Billy!

UPDATE 2: This contest is now over, and the winners list and winning entries are posted here. Thanks for your wonderful entries, and stay tuned — another limerick contest is coming soon.

Spring Limerick Contest — With Money Prizes

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007

Writing my Is It Spring Yet? limerick gave me an idea to launch the first of what I hope will be many limerick writing contests.

So here’s my challenge: Write a limerick related somehow to the subject of spring and post it here in my comments.  I’ll announce the winners on the first day of spring.   The first prize will be $25.  The second prize will be $10.  Both prizes will be paid via PayPal.

I’m looking forward to reading your entries!

UPDATE: This contest is officially closed and the spring limerick contest winners and their winning entries are here.

Please check back on this blog in mid-April, when I expect to announce a new limerick contest.