Ill-Bred Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who was rather ill-bred…*


A gal who was rather ill-bred…*


A fellow who liked to bake bread…*


A woman who liked to bake bread…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Ill-Bred Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who was rather ill-bred
Often hogged nearly all of the bed.
Then he’d flare up with pique
At his wife (who was meek)
When she noisily fell on her head.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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119 Responses to “Ill-Bred Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Bob Dvorak says:

    A woman who liked to bake bread
    Had a thought to improve life in bed!
    So her husband, she greased
    With some leftover yeast —
    But she got an infection, instead.

    (Yuck. There’s nothing in the rules that says it has to be “pretty”…)

  2. Aurora says:

    A fellow who liked to bake bread
    Was filled with despair in his head
    Too many orders he took
    Without enough ovens to cook
    All the Easter treats for customers live and Undead

  3. RJ Clarken says:

    A gal who was rather ill-bred
    sought lesson, since she was unread.
    So with rain found in Spain
    she became more urbane
    ‘though the song is still stuck in her head.

  4. RJ Clarken says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    never left words uncivil unsaid.
    When he died, no one mourned.
    Still, someone had adorned
    his tombstone with (expletive deleted) in red.

  5. RJ Clarken says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    got stuck in his old Murphy bed.
    ‘Though he cussed and he swore
    his wife chose to ignore
    him, and went off to high tea instead.

  6. colonialist says:

    A man who was rather ill bred
    Disgustingly gorged when he fed;
    At a restaurant, five star,
    Flattened all caviar –
    ‘-A bill’ he got was quite ‘incred-’!

    A fellow who liked to bake bread
    Was henpecked, and frequently said,
    ‘I do need to knead,
    Replacing the deed
    Of squishing my dear wife instead!’

  7. Pearl Ketover Prilik says:

    A gal who was rather ill-bred
    Gave a toot on her horn as she said
    I’ve come honest to blarney
    Born of Rufus and Marney
    When measles took them both to their bed

  8. It’s the mark of a person ill-bred
    Not to sample what one has been fed.
    But the hostess brought out
    Cheesy Chocolate Trout,
    So I threw down my napkin and fled.

  9. A man took some leftover bread,
    And his neighborhood pigeons he fed.
    But the pigeons, they just
    Looked at him in disgust:
    “No thanks. We’re on Atkins,” they said.

  10. It’s the mark of a person ill-bred
    To slurp soup from a bowl (it’s been said).
    Though there isn’t a law
    Against using a straw,
    I eat soup with my fingers instead.

  11. John Sardo says:

    A gal who was rather ill-bred
    For some reason likes to bake bread
    Rolls dough ‘tween her fingers
    Has dreams while it lingers
    Then sticks in the oven instead.

  12. John Sardo says:

    A gal who liked to bake bread
    On which she always would spread
    A gob of cream cheese
    For her fellows to please
    One bite would bring things to a head.

  13. John Sardo says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    Had a fetish for gals who baked bread
    With fantasies wild
    The gals always smiled
    As he fed them the bread while in bed.

  14. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow who liked to bake bread
    One day simply dropped dead
    He offended his gal
    By going out with a pal
    At least rat poison beats off with his head

  15. Rosanna says:

    A woman who liked to bake bread
    Went to the office instead
    But all she could think of
    Was kneading dough
    So she could have cakes galore to show.

  16. yt cai says:

    When a John was fresh out of bread
    With hookers he lost his street cred
    Had no jam for his PB
    Or a slice for a freebie
    KY came in handy instead

  17. Laurie Baker says:

    A woman who struggled to bake bread
    Hoped that would change once she wed
    She had all new supplies
    But the dough wouldn’t rise
    So she stocked up at Costco instead.

  18. Edmund Conti says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    Decided to stand on his head.
    But alack and alas
    He just fell on his ass
    He should have, I think, stood in bed.

  19. Edmund Conti says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    Decided he better re-sked.
    He did say two-thirty
    (This pun isn’t purty)
    Meant saying “tooth-hurty” instead.

  20. Mark Kane says:

    A woman who liked to bake bread,
    tried rising her husband instead.
    Her oven was warm.
    She took him by storm.
    Twice kneaded she left him for dead.

  21. Hansi says:

    A fellow who liked to bake bread
    Made a muffin that went straight to his head
    It filled him with bliss
    Cause he added cannabis
    So he layed around all day listening to the Dead.

  22. Edmund Conti says:

    A man who was rather ill bred
    Said, Damn it, it’s Easter, he said.
    I know I’m repeating.
    This poem’s self-defeating
    But I said what I said. Sign me Ed.

  23. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow who’d sworn off the bread,
    And pizza, for eight days, pure dread!
    Was he going to heaven?
    Well he’s not eating leaven,
    Just matzoh with butter instead.

  24. Edmund Conti says:

    Said a man who was rather ill bred
    “Damn kosher, I have to be fed!
    I don’t give a damn
    If it’s pork or it’s ham.”
    But the Curses of Ham got him dead.

  25. Edmund Conti says:

    Said a man who was rather ill bred
    “Excuse me for what I just said.
    It seems, Ma’am, that you,
    Self-defined Parve venue
    Have gone where I dare not to tread.

  26. Mark Kane says:

    This woman was clearly well bred,
    From her manner, and things that she said.
    But he put that aside,
    When it came to their ride,
    A thoroughbred ready to spread.

  27. Craig says:

    A family whose kids were inbred
    Sat their son down one evening and said:
    “We think incest is fine
    But we must draw the line –
    Since that cousin yer boinkin’ is dead.”

  28. Craig says:

    Two cannibals sat to break bread.
    The host turned to the other and said:
    “What dish shall I pass?
    Like a nice piece of ass?”
    “Not just now, thanks, just give me some head.”

  29. Sue Dulley says:

    A guy from the States, not ill-bred,
    To a person from Canada said:
    If you must pronounce Zee
    Like it’s spelt Z-E-D
    Then why not say “A Bed Ced Ded…?”

  30. Sue Dulley says:

    Some kids who were rather ill-bred
    Refused on a snow-slope to tread.
    “Walk downhill on snow?
    It’s so boring and slow!”
    So instead down they sped on a sled.

  31. Sue Dulley says:

    A woman who liked to bake bread
    Had planned all her baking ahead.
    On Sat., Mon. and Tues.
    She’d flatly refuse,
    Just baked on Thurs., Fri., Sun. and Wed.

  32. Sue Dulley says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    Went down to the gym for Phys Ed.
    He looked at some pinups
    While doing his chinups
    And pushups, then went home to bed.

  33. It’s butter I put on my bread,
    Not that “buttery” substitute spread.
    I’d rather die young
    Than subject my poor tongue
    To such nonsense. I’m going well-fed.

  34. Dear Moms: it’s a habit ill-bred
    To disparage the girl your son wed.
    Please don’t mention her weight,
    Or her tentacles eight,
    Or her spooky additional head.

  35. Craig says:

    A baker I met buying bread
    Must love how I treat him in bed.
    Has “Fredrico Fellini”
    Tattooed on his weenie
    But his wife thinks it only says Fred.

  36. When a cat with an antelope’s bred
    Mother Nature is turned on her head
    The mad scientist’s hope:
    To achieve cantaloupe
    And the full 18 minutes on TED

  37. A man who was rather ill-bred
    put ‘way too much jam on his bread
    it fell onto his shirt
    and he really was hurt
    when his wife said, “Now behave, Ned!”

  38. Beth Parsons says:

    A couple who like to eat bread
    But honored Passover instead
    Without any yeast, sir
    They still enjoyed Easter
    And crossed their hot buns in the bed.

  39. They woke up their roommate ill-bred:
    “Get up! Carpe diem!” they said.
    He replied, “Carpe NOCTEM…”
    Rolled over, and shocked ’em:
    Their girlfriends were with him in bed!

  40. Here’s a macabre bit of history:

    There’s a man from Wisconsin, ill-bred,
    Named Gein… was it Albert? No: Ed.
    In no-one confiding,
    He went into hiding…
    (The *hides* were piled up in his shed).

  41. Joe Baguette is a loafer, ill-bred;
    He can’t earn enough dough to stay fed.
    His family knows
    Why Baguette never rose:
    “‘Twas his Sourdough Mother,” they said.

  42. Vaccinius says:


    Ill-bred was a man from Chicago,
    not meant to be like solidago.
    But fail did his parents
    in making adherence.
    They gave him the birth name Diego.

  43. Bob Dvorak says:

    From a Jew who was rather ill-bred:
    “Kosher lim’rick? A winner!” he said.
    But he fell on his keister —
    On waking, ’twas Easter.
    He pigged out on choc’late instead.

  44. A guy who was rather ill-bred,
    Wore his boots and his spurs into bed.
    The girl said “To ride me
    You should curl up beside me
    And whisper sweet nothings instead.”

  45. Bone says:

    A fellow who liked to bake bread
    Was suddenly filled with great dread
    His wife’s yeast infection
    Cause great circumspection
    Now he uses self-rising instead

  46. Mama Zen says:

    Sounds like my house!

  47. At Passover, unleavened bread
    From Israel is better, they said.
    True: the stamps make a treat
    When you break down and eat
    The box it was shipped in instead.

    (True story:)
    I once tried to feed my dog matzoh…
    I said, “Try these new biscuits! You’ll platzoh!”
    But my dog said, “You’ve gatzoh
    Be kidding: it’s matzoh!
    To nosh on, this stuff’s not so hatzoh.”

  48. yt cai says:

    A redneck who was born in-bred
    Thought granny was his ma instead
    his dad was his brother
    and sister his mother
    Two siblings that shared in abed

  49. Ira Bloom says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred,
    Lived with one insurmountable dread:
    That the lim’ricks he’d write,
    Would be seen as too trite,
    And thus ruin his hard-won street-cred.

    I know a mechanic, ill-bred,
    Who from enraged wife swiftly fled.
    She’d found someone’s lipstick,
    All over his dipstick.
    My guess? The man’s as good as dead.

  50. Johanna Richmond says:

    I’ve heard dragging your feet is inbred…
    And I’ll someday confirm it — that said,
    Let me pause to profess
    I’d procrastinate less
    Had my folks not been pokey in bed.

  51. Johanna Richmond says:

    Do lim’ricks attract the ill-bred?
    I can only infer from Craig’s spread:
    If your reader can’t chew it
    tattoo it or screw it,
    Forget it, you ain’t got no cred.

  52. yt cai says:

    Flo’s diner ran out of cornbread
    When a burglar took it and fled
    turns out he had all thumbs
    always stealing for crumbs
    A trail to trial it led

  53. Diane Groothuis says:

    One of cannibals munching on bread
    Who went for the ass then the head
    Said “If I had my pick
    I would go for the dick”
    (Or that’s what they told me was said.)

  54. Diane Groothuis says:

    A girl who enjoyed baking bread
    Filled it with pellets of lead
    And if you ate it hot
    Many people got shot
    And sadly they ended up dead.

  55. Diane Groothuis says:

    A girl who was very ill-bred
    Tried to prove she was not easily led
    At Fred’s School of Charm
    She kept out of harm
    And walked with a book on her head.

  56. Dear Sue: In the U.S. we’re bred
    To say ‘zee’ where all others say ‘zed’:
    “A-Bed-Ced” is absurd,
    Or our hymn would be heard
    At the ball game: “Oh, say, can you said?”

    — or, to take it to my usual ridiculous extremes: —

    On the night that young Ded-Ded was wee,
    Shed looked at her husband and see,
    “All night I’ll be fred;
    If you’re looking for med,
    I’m gonna bed up in our bee!”

  57. JulesPaige says:

    A woman who liked to bake bread
    Used a machine to knead it instead
    Of her hands she’d protect
    So the guys they’d respect
    More how she’d make them rise in her bed!


  58. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Friends had said my guy, Ted, was ill-bred.
    Filled with dread, they had pled, “Please don’t wed!”
    But it’s fate that we mate—
    That first date was so great—
    The way Ted gave me head broke the bed.

    A man who was trying to bake bread
    ‘Yeats’ for ‘yeast’ in the recipe read.
    To his awe and surprise,
    The dough did arise
    And go now. (He made Pound cake instead.)

  60. William Preston says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    and also was rather ill-fed
    one day up and died,
    his wife at his side:
    the fellow was also ill-wed.

  61. Diane Groothuis says:

    A lady considered ill-bred
    Was forced by her folk to wear red
    A big Scarlet “A”
    Coz she hit the hay
    Or was it nat whore-thorne instead?

  62. Diane Groothuis says:

    A girl who was very ill-bred
    Was simply amazing in bed
    She gave them orgasms
    All manner of spasms
    Documented in “Fifty Shades of Red”.

  63. Edmund Conti says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    Did all his conceiving in bed.
    A few that were cursed
    Met life there feet first
    But most of them came out a head.

  64. yt cai says:

    The lumberjack was rather ill-bred
    Harvested trees with a dull axe head
    his output was lacking
    from much wasted hacking
    His clients are now stuck with Con-Ed

  65. brian miller says:

    a man who was rather ill bred
    used to scheme all the girls to his bed
    he’d work the charm
    and shuffle them off at the alarm
    which was all well and good in his head.

  66. Claudia says:

    a fellow who liked to bake bread
    was usually getting quite mad
    when it burned down to coal
    tastes like his old shoe soles
    and this made him feel oh so sad

  67. Tom Harris says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred,
    All scruffy and much too well fed,
    Would scream, belch and curse
    And write tasteless verse.
    And Tom was his name, so they’ve said.

  68. Jenny Herner says:

    Wonderful and funny! Bravo!

  69. The young man was rather ill-bred
    And not especially well-read
    Still, he knew better
    The instant he met her
    –He shouldn’t eat garlic in bed.

  70. Beth Parsons says:

    A couple who liked to eat bread
    But honored Passover instead
    Without any yeast, sir
    They still enjoyed Easter
    By crossing hot buns in the bed.

  71. Beth Parsons says:

    A fellow who loved to bake bread
    Preferred dough to flesh, it is said
    When he makes a quick pass
    At your glutenous mass
    Just a pinch should keep him well fed.

  72. Diane Groothuis says:

    A man who stood up to break bread
    Was feeding 5000 he said
    With 5 loaves and 2 fishes
    He filled all their dishes
    And I heard that they all were well fed.

  73. Jesse Levy says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    was always requesting head
    Cause his bride would go south
    with no teeth in her mouth
    It’s no wonder they long ago wed.

  74. Tom Hale says:

    A fellow who liked to bake bread
    Saw dollar signs dance in his head.
    “My angst has increased,
    Lo! Wonder’s deceased,
    My plan didn’t pan out,” he said.

  75. A cat who was rather ill-bred
    Licked his privates while lying in bed.
    But the smell of his pee
    When he came to lick me
    Nearly led to that kitty’s bloodshed.

  76. Doc Arnett says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    wore his nasty old socks to bed.
    The smell and the stench
    quite offended the wench;
    she rather preferred him dead.

  77. John Larkin says:

    A fellow who liked to bake bread
    was sure of himself when he said,
    “You want me to switch.
    Forget it, you bitch.
    I’m sticking with baking instead.

  78. A gal who was very well-bred
    (But excessively.) One day she said,
    “Please don’t talk family, food
    Or the health of your brood!
    Can’t we contemplate Plato instead?!”

  79. Sue Dulley says:

    Some people lived mostly on bread
    And much of the time went unfed.
    They appealed to ‘la reine’
    To help with their pain,
    All she told them was, eat cake instead.

    I went to the Safeway for bread
    It made sense what Marie A. had said!
    The pound cake cost less
    Than a loaf, so I guess…
    No more toast, I’ll make trifle instead.

  80. Sue Dulley says:

    A man had a fetish for bread
    Fresh baked from the oven, unspread.
    In a frenzy of lust
    He’d munch through the crust.
    (The ‘crumb’ line is best left unsaid.)

  81. Sue Dulley says:

    If a cousin to wed is ill-bred
    Consider the royals – I’ve read
    Most married their cousins
    Of which there were dozens,
    For the others, divorce lay ahead.

    You can call me ill-bred or inbred,
    My great-grans were sisters, it’s said.
    I’m missing one set
    Of great-great grandfolks, yet
    There’s not a lot wrong with that round thing on top of my shoulders.

  82. Diane Groothuis says:

    Now Sue D is very well-bred
    Not so much as a hole in her head
    And in these hard times
    Her humorous rhymes
    Will cause me to get out of bed.

  83. Konrad Schwoerke says:

    Seems this guy who was paid to bake bread
    Was soon found to be scamming instead.
    The boss yelled, “You’re a fake!
    You don’t know how to bake.”
    “But I needed the dough,” the guy pled.

  84. Edmund Conti says:

    An actor who wasn’t well bred
    Regarded himself as drop-dead
    Gorgeous, that is
    As they say in the biz.
    Said his “fans,” “That’s your cue, knuckle head!”

  85. Johanna Richmond says:

    “At the risk you may think I’m ill-bred,
    I’m a trifle attached to my head.”
    Says no zombie ever
    As sword swings to sever
    Its skull in the show Walking Dead.

  86. Johanna Richmond says:

    Those mamas who cook and bake bread
    Fill the rest of us mothers with dread.
    Between ruining minds
    And spanking behinds
    Where’s the time left for keeping them fed?

  87. Johanna Richmond says:

    Steve is back! Let’s put all our ill-bred
    And ill-mannered verse banter to bed.
    Rejoice and give thanks;
    Save your premium pranks
    Cuz our best lim’rick days are ahead!

  88. Johanna Richmond says:

    What’s the matter? What’s wrong with inbred?
    I’ve a cousin who’s gorgeous (drop-dead).
    Enjoy fam’ly, they say;
    Tell me, what better way
    Than to relish relations in bed?

  89. Edmund Conti says:

    A man who was rather ill bred
    The one that Sue Dulley calls Ed
    Sounds very confused. A
    Good poet for Tuesday
    But not for Thurs, Fri, Sat or Wed.

  90. The limerick sobbed “I’m ill-bred,
    Not a serious thought in my head
    Casanovas and tarts
    And obscene body parts
    I wonder what Shakespeare’d have said?”

  91. A man who was rather ill bred
    To his cousin was heard to have said
    “Let me dip, smoke and chew
    Swear a streak Navy blue,
    And I’ll bathe every time that we wed”

  92. A woman who liked to bake bread
    Met a pottery artist named Ted
    Now he butters her rolls
    And she fondles his bowls
    While his kiln and her oven glow red

  93. Beth Parsons says:

    They cooked up a loaf of in-bred
    And all of the relatives said
    We can’t abide dangers
    From lettin’ in strangers
    But look at the size of it s head !

  94. Sue Dulley says:

    In Moonstruck the movie, the bread
    Is baked by Nick Cage, who would bed
    The lovely Loretta
    (He’s only just met her)
    – His brother, she’s planning to wed.

    Loretta, who’s acted by Cher,
    Gets a makeover, new dress and hair,
    They go to the Met
    On a date, and they get
    To see her unfaithful Pa there.

    Her fiance comes back from his trip,
    It’s scary until he lets slip
    His momma’s all better,
    He won’t need Loretta
    To marry, to save her – Hip hip!

    It all turns out fine – Cher weds Nick
    (I hope I’m not making you sick?
    I left out a lot
    Of details of the plot) –
    Just an old-fashioned fairy-tale flick.

  95. Sue Dulley says:

    A movie reviewer, well-bred,
    Judged films with his heart and his head.
    I can’t help but frown
    With both thumbs pointed down
    Since I heard Roger Ebert was dead.

  96. Diane Groothuis says:

    That girl who was rather ill-bred
    With panties adorning her head
    Asked “My style make you smile?”
    “You are out by a mile
    It’s very confusing.” he said.

  97. Jared Wright says:

    A dictator rather ill-bred
    Who liked shaving the sides of his head
    Found his late daddy’s bomb
    Tried to lob it at Guam
    And left half a peninsula dead

  98. Chad says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    kept hogging for space in the bed.
    By elbowing ribs,
    he insured his dibs
    and that he would remain unwed.

  99. Veralynne says:

    A guy who was rather ill-bred,
    Thought naught of not washing his head
    Nor the rest of him, either–
    We all needed a breather!
    So we sent him to stink up the shed.

  100. Veralynne says:

    The pup, being rather ill-bred,
    Jumped all over the older dog’s head
    Not respecting others’ pedigree
    Nor even his own perigee
    He landed on his own head instead.

  101. Sue Dulley says:

    If this doesn’t sound too ill-bred,
    This addict is thinking ahead.
    I can’t wait to see
    What the next Word will be –
    At midnight I won’t be in bed.

    Awards, though they don’t include bread
    Or laurels to wear round one’s head,
    May give me a thrill
    But a better prize still
    Is Mad’s newest Lim’rick-off spread.

  102. Dr. Goose says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    Hated poems by guys who were dead,
    But considered it fun
    If Lit 101
    Did limerick-writing instead.

  103. Dr. Goose says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    Acknowledged, while rubbing his head:
    “Though to me, your position
    Invited coition,
    It’s possible that I misread.”

  104. Dr. Goose says:

    A gal who was rather ill-bred
    Remarked to her young neighbor, Ned:
    “If I were refined,
    I’m sure I would mind
    Your trying to get me to bed.”

  105. Dr. Goose says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    Attended a Talk a la TED:
    “It was done by a guy
    Who was probably high,
    And the concept was over my head.”

  106. Dr. Goose says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    Appeared on the TV and said:
    “To squeeze out the sort
    Who like to go short,
    I’ll corner the market instead.”

  107. Dr. Goose says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    Had a look in the mirror and said:
    “Gor blimey, it galls
    That the ‘air on me balls
    Is more than the ‘air on me ‘ead.”

  108. Dr. Goose says:

    A man who was rather ill-bred
    Was constantly scratching his head:
    “It exhibits more class
    Than scratching my ass
    While watching Jay Leno in bed.”

  109. Edmund Conti says:

    A man who was rather ill bred
    Was noted for wetting the bed.
    At first it was piss
    Later on it was this
    Which was semen-ly better instead.

  110. Vaccinius says:


    A woman who liked to bake bread
    used sugar to make it instead
    of wheat, as she noticed
    her man the remotest
    idea had not she would knock dead.

  111. Vaccinius says:


    A limerick writer, ill-bred,
    made bawdry of being in bed.
    He thought he was funny
    but wasted his money
    by showing what fucked him instead.

  112. Charley Simmons says:

    A woman who loved to bake bread
    Had withdrawals the day she was wed.
    Her new husband was plump
    With a large doughy rump.
    All night he was kneaded in bed.

  113. Johanna Richmond says:

    Mr Shakespeare, considered well-bred,
    Could talk dirty too — take him to bed
    As a tool; read up guys,
    Between “quivering thigh[s]”
    Many men’s “manly marrow” hath sped.

  114. Charley Simmons says:

    A man who was rather ill bred,
    Burped and farted all night when in bed.
    His poor wife quite aghast,
    Ignited the blast.
    Now he orbits ’round Venus instead.

  115. nelderini says:

    A fellow who tried to make bread
    The bit about rising mis-read
    Though the waiting was tough
    He sat on his dough
    And wound up with matzoh instead

  116. Diane Groothuis says:

    Willy Shakespeare very well bred
    Always had “Love” in his head
    If Music’s the food
    It would not be too rude
    To play me your flute while in bed.

  117. Edmund Conti says:

    A man who was very ill bred
    Quoted Shakespeare, from A until Zed.
    OOOO that Shakespearean rag
    Soon became on long drag.
    Oh, to be or not to be dead.

  118. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks! This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 108

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Stack

  119. I was pre-setting blog posts for the April A-Z Challenge, so this one went up late.

    J is for Jerks