A Limerick Stack (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was trying to stack…*


A woman was trying to stack…*


A fellow was blowing his stack…*


A woman was blowing her stack…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

A Limerick Stack
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An employer was blowing her stack,
And her staffers felt under attack:
“You’ll be sacked if these files
That are stacked in the aisles
Ain’t packed up. Are you slackers on crack?”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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88 Responses to “A Limerick Stack (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Craig says:

    The limerick word is now “stack”
    So I thought I would give it a crack
    Though I popped this out fast
    It sure won’t be the last
    About women who have a nice rack.

  2. Susan Settje says:

    When a copper was felled by a stack
    Of old donuts he ate as a snack,
    It was said that a cruler
    Left Willie a drooler,
    But in fact ‘twas arterial plaque.

  3. Susan Settje says:

    A dealer was ready to stack
    All the cards in his deck to attack
    The young pups he’d been priming
    With liquor, his timing
    Would leave the house well in the black.

  4. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow was trying to stack
    His bricks for a little beach shack.
    Till this honey bounced by,
    Caused a bulge in his fly.
    Once offered it’s hard to retract.

  5. Sue Dulley says:

    A reader was offered a stack
    Of books going several years back.
    A few were hard cover
    Like “Lady C’s Lover”
    While some were soft porn (paperback).

  6. Sue Dulley says:

    Thanks Craig, you were right!

    Poor Jackie was blowing her stack.
    She begged of her husband: “Now Jack,
    It’s tempting, I know
    But don’t screw Ms Monroe
    Just because of her world-famous rack.”

  7. Sue Dulley says:

    A teller whose job was to stack
    Extra cash in the vault at the back
    Stuffed all of the loot
    In a bag made of jute –
    The manager gave her the sack.

  8. Adam says:

    Yosemite Sam was blowing his stack
    He just couldn’t keep it on track
    Wherever he sailed, without fail
    He was trailed by a whale
    And his senses were beginning to crack

  9. yt cai says:

    Eliot Ness played by Robert Stack
    Tried to break Al Capone’s mobster back
    Eliot didn’t play nice
    while rooting out vice
    “Untouchable” is more than a knack

  10. yt cai says:

    A sweep crawled into a smoke stack
    To see why its output black
    the farther down he went
    it became apparent
    That Santa had dropped his coal sack

  11. yt cai says:

    There are no qualms that Sarah is stacked
    In all the right places nothing is lacked
    at the local pool hall
    her pic adorns the wall
    Proving that not just balls can be racked

  12. yt cai says:

    On the verge of blowing his stack
    The cabbie in mirror looked back
    doing it right there
    was his single fare
    HBO gave a show to the hack

  13. John Sardo says:

    A fellow was trying to stack
    Whipped cream on a lady’s back
    All the wriggling and jiggling
    Had set her to giggling
    Saying Jack please finish your snack.

  14. John Sardo says:

    A woman was trying to stack
    A snack on a fellow named Jack
    It would flow down below
    And she watched his Joe grow
    Saying Jack such a snack gives no slack.

  15. yt cai says:

    The dentist in filling did stack
    Amalgam to tooth in the back
    a molar cavity
    of oral depravity
    In its honor he awarded plaque

  16. Chris Papa says:

    The A.C.A. regs, ten foot stack,
    By Obama’s rule-writing claque,
    Will slake readers’ thirst,
    (After voting first,)
    As urged on by “Nancy-the-Whack”.

  17. Eugene Fedorov says:

    A man who was blowing his stack
    Deceased of a strong heart attack.
    But he threw a fit
    Once more in the pit
    And the Devil said: “Let him go back!”

  18. Hansi says:

    A fellow spied a gal who was stacked
    But soon came under attack
    Although they were big
    She thought him a pig
    Cause he couldn’t keep his eyes off her rack.

  19. Rich Jones says:

    A fellow was trying to stack
    Murder victim’s head in his old shack
    He arranged one and all
    So that they faced the wall
    ‘Cause it bothered him when they stared back.

  20. Mark Kane says:

    A student just stared at his stack
    Of books with no plan of attack.
    With no time left to cram
    For his final exam,
    He just cheated and searched with his Mac.

  21. Diane Groothuis says:

    A woman was blowing her stack
    When her husband did not have the knack
    Of withholding the gas
    He’d repeatedly pass
    And she said “if I want it I’ll frack”.

  22. Susan Settje says:

    A fellow was trying to stack
    All his old forty-fives in a rack–
    Though the vinyl was worn
    And the sleeves a bit torn,
    He still cherished each top-forty track.

  23. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow was blowing his stack
    About greed, bought elections, payback.
    They ranshack the planet
    And everything on it!
    Indeed, what a tragic setback!

  24. Jamie Hutchinson says:

    A plumber was blowing her stack
    At a fellow who thought her a quack:
    “The proof’s in my work!
    And anatomy, jerk,
    Is the reason you can’t see my crack!”

  25. Judith H. Block says:

    A fellow was trying to stack
    Too heavy things; hurt his back.
    He took to his bed,
    Started reading instead,
    And paid others to lift and unpack.

  26. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman was trying to stack
    Her tiny but well-sculpted rack.
    With padding at first,
    Then the concept she cursed!
    She made up for in brains what she lacked.

  27. Mark Kane says:

    For breakfast he needed this stack
    Of pancakes, the morning, pitch black.
    His life on the road,
    Hauling load after load,
    Insures little time in the sack.

  28. Mark Kane says:

    An actor just stared at her stack
    Of head shots, his lost in the pack.
    Was he willing to screw?
    He smiled back right on cue,
    And prayed for a speedy call back.

  29. The pundits are blowing their stack:
    “Our freedoms are under attack!”
    On every channel’s
    “Benghazi! Death Panels!”
    (Translation: the President’s black.)

    If a Congressman’s blowing his stack
    About “taking our liberties back”,
    That’s the lobbyists, knowing
    Whose stack needed blowing
    And funding it out of their PAC.

  30. Craig says:

    To his wife, the ex-Gov blew his stack
    ‘Cause their two-person costume was whack.
    He gave her the front
    And said “Hate to be blunt
    But I’m Ahnuld and so … I’ll be back.”

  31. Laurie Baker says:

    A woman was blowing her stack
    While wondering what items to pack
    Her cruise ship’s reputation
    Offered justifiable trepidation
    And she feared she might never come back.

  32. colonialist says:

    A fellow was trying to stack
    His bottles up into a rack,
    But top row for start
    Was not very smart –
    The tipple that toppled, he’ll lack!

  33. Charley Simmons says:

    A boss who was blowing his stack,
    While being mimed behind his back.
    He heard snickers, turned red,
    Vessels burst from his head.
    Now the firm is happy and on track.

  34. Sue Dulley says:

    A woman collected a stack
    Of makeup the size of a shack.
    What she had to pay
    When she shopped Mary Kay
    Could have bought her a pink Cadillac.

  35. Sue Dulley says:

    A shopper was stuck with a stack
    Of shirts the store would not take back.
    They were marked “Final Sale”
    And she let out a wail
    When she found they’d not fit on her rack.

  36. Sue Dulley says:

    A glamorous gal has a stack
    Of nightgowns, short, silky and black
    But her beau (he’s confessed)
    Likes her burlap-bag dressed.
    Why? “Because she’s the best in the sack.”

  37. John Larkin says:

    A fellow was blowing his stack
    at his doctor exposed as a quack.
    Where our guy had a dimple
    he now has a pimple,
    due to his doctor, alas and alack.

  38. Diane Groothuis says:

    Fair Phyllis was making a stack
    Of fleeces from off her sheep’s back
    Saying “I am no fool
    My money’s in wool
    And it’s sought after when it is black”.

  39. Jesse Levy says:

    A woman was blowing Bob Stack
    but he had to keep pushing her back
    Her quotes from Airplane
    would drive him insane
    “Please don’t break the rhythm, you hack!”

  40. Sue Dulley says:

    When the rain poured, my friend blew her stack.
    Her barbecue plans all off track,
    To McDonald’s she’d charge
    In a raincoat, size Large –
    Seems everyone needs a big mac.

  41. Sue Dulley says:

    A mountain goat once blew her stack
    On hearing, behind her own back,
    The bighorns and such
    Say she gossiped too much
    And the worst was, they called her a yak.

  42. Craig says:

    I hooked up with a girl at The Stack
    But I swear I will never go back!
    I know I was drunk
    But, c’mon, who’d-a thunk?
    She was really a welder named Zack.

  43. Diane Groothuis says:

    Last night I went down to The Stack
    And spoke to a welder named Zack
    He said ” I am vague
    I thought he said Craig
    If you help me I will call him back”

  44. Jesse Levy says:

    I am always blowing my stack
    whenever my wifey comes back
    from the grocery store
    cause she never buys more
    of that wonderful ice cream we lack.

    (Finally a limerick of mine not about fellatio)

  45. Claudia says:

    a fellow was trying to stack
    pencils on a grocery rack
    but they kept falling down
    and eventually drowned
    in a 3,5% milk lake

  46. Sue Dulley says:

    A young man was blowing his stack.
    He only had cash for a snack,
    A coke and some fries
    Just regular size
    When he suffered a Big Mac attack.

  47. A woman was blowing her stack
    When she heard that her stalker was back.
    “When I get up each morn
    I go garden my corn.
    I will cut off his stalk with a whack!”

  48. Sue Dulley says:

    A hobbyist had a small stack
    Of models he’d built in a shack.
    One sailing-type boat
    Was failing to float –
    It needed a different tack.

  49. Sue Dulley says:

    A driver named Jill blew her stack,
    Alone with a flat from a tack.
    She looked in the trunk,
    Found the spare, and some junk –
    What she needed the most was her Jack.

  50. Diane Groothuis says:

    A teacher was blowing his stack
    At one naughty kid at the back
    “Nose-picking again
    You will pull out your brain
    And you’re so dumb you won’t get it back

  51. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman was blowing her stack:
    “I want my virginity back!
    With only one squeeze,
    He spilled his valdez.
    That romeo isn’t worth jack!”

  52. Ira Bloom says:

    A fellow was trying to stack,
    All the reasons we had to attack.
    His V.P.’s advice,
    Was to use artifice,
    And that’s why we invaded Iraq.

  53. Tim James says:

    Dave Petraeus should swear on a stack
    That he wishes to take it all back.
    His affair was quite sleazy
    But explaining it’s easy:
    ‘Twas a lack of good rack in Iraq.

  54. William Preston says:

    A fellow was trying to stack
    some big boulders abaft his old shack,
    but he stumbled; the rocks
    came a-tumbling; the shocks
    left him shaken and taken aback.

  55. JulesPaige says:

    A woman was blowing her stack
    Seams within were on the attack
    Her surgeon she’d sue
    That’s what she’d do
    Those implants – take em both back!

  56. Diane Groothuis says:

    A shopper was making a stack
    Of woollen clothes mainly in black
    Some long and some short
    And some were quite taut
    She’d been dining on lamb on the rack.

  57. Sue Dulley says:

    Diane, re that gal with the stack
    Of tight woollen sweaters in black:
    If this glutton for mutton
    Can’t fasten each button
    She should put them back on the rack.

  58. Sue Dulley says:

    And besides, if that gal with the stack
    Can’t fit in those clothes, mostly black,
    She could look round the store
    For a few minutes more
    And choose some a little more slack.

  59. Sue Dulley says:

    A backer was blowing his stack
    While watching a race at the track.
    To say it with tact
    The hack he had backed
    Was in fact at the back of the pack.

  60. Diane Groothuis says:

    Re that girlie a’making a stack
    Of tight woollen sweaters in black
    Gave us no surprise
    When we looked at her size
    Cos the lamb on the rack was a snack.

  61. Vaccinius says:


    A fellow was trying to stack
    up love for his wife. She hit back.
    She knocked the man dead
    by turning his head.
    She saw she was under attack.

  62. iHop to rehab

    When hotcakes are piled in a stack
    Like glistening, syrupy smack
    and smothered with berries?
    Diabetes and caries!
    All that sugar’s like crystalline crack

  63. Sue Dulley says:

    A snack of lamb chops in a stack
    Must set that girl’s bank balance back.
    If she doesn’t stop spending
    On food never-ending
    She’ll soon have to dress in a sack.

  64. Sue Dulley says:

    A card player plotting to stack
    The deck with a king and a jack
    Spent some time at the Sands
    Just folding his hands
    Perfecting his plan of attack.

  65. Sue Dulley says:

    A gambler was blowing his stack
    While watching a race at the track.
    To say it with tact
    The hack he had backed
    Was in fact at the back of the pack.

  66. Sue Dulley says:

    That horse at the back, on the track,
    Was ‘rode’ by a jockey named Jack
    (Whose grammar was weak) –
    He was not at his peak
    When his black hack fell back of the pack.

  67. We were given some towels in a stack
    And a key for a room in the back
    Then they said quite polite
    “You’re in Utah tonight
    Set your watches three hundred years back”

  68. Little engine that could, blew his stack
    Working hard, up and down, ‘long the track
    So the moral applies
    It’s not all about size
    If you think you can and you’ve the knack

  69. The ardent date’s blowing his stack
    ‘Cuz his signals were all out of whack
    He said “What can I do
    That will satisfy you?”
    So she asked “can you fix me a snack?”

  70. A woman was blowing her stack
    Her ex lover just asked for her back
    But she said “I think not
    Please remember you’ve got
    Smelly feet, halitosis, and plaque”

  71. Diane Groothuis says:

    A handyman blowing his stack
    While assembling a pre-packed flat pack
    “If I have any need
    I will go ask a Swede
    Nuts provided in a small sack.”

  72. Veralynne says:

    I wrote this and another one on paper Sunday a.m. and thought I’d posted ’em. It’s hell gettin’ old! LOL

    A woman was blowing her stack
    After trying on clothes off the rack
    “These aren’t made in my size!”
    (Clerks were rolling their eyes.)
    “Not 22 but size 2! You’re on crack!”

  73. Veralynne says:

    A fellow was trying to stack
    Jenga pieces too tall and, alack,
    Hands shaking, breath held,
    His tower was felled
    As was he by a stress heart attack.

  74. heidi says:

    A mother, upon finding a stack
    of poopies in the diaper of Zack
    said I’d’ve been better suited
    if you had just pooted
    instead of launchin a big crack attack.

  75. Tom Hale says:

    A hobo was blowing his stack:
    “Can’t sleep with this CLICKITY-CLACK!”
    Some bum said, “Hey, we
    At least, man, are free.
    Don’t be so persnickety, Mac.”

  76. yt cai says:

    A miser removed from his stack
    Twelve gold coins to bury in back
    he dug the hole deep
    it caused him to weep
    When outhouse appeared on the track

  77. yt cai says:

    The well head had blown its stack
    Methane gas caused locals to hack
    our faucets are candles
    the truckers spew handles
    Damn that ass who said hydrofrack

  78. Kirk Miller says:

    A fellow was blowing his stack
    Of pancakes ’cause every flapjack
    Was too hot; turned away.
    Then some sweetener they
    Syrup-titiously put on his snack.

  79. A fellow was trying to stack
    His triplets, each one on its back,
    Saving trouble and toil
    For the visiting mohel —
    Circumcising all three in one whack.

    (There once was a klutz of a mohel
    Who sneezed in the midst of his tohel.
    He peered down at the boy,
    Then turned pale, and said: “Oy,
    Mrs. Greenbaum? You now have a gohel.”)

  80. The moment his girl blew her stack
    And left him, he wanted her back.
    That’s the way that it goes
    With a bachelor’s woes:
    If it isn’t A Lass! it’s A Lack!

  81. John Armstrong says:

    Dagwood was trying to stack
    Bread and goodies for a midnight snack
    As the tower grew higher
    His pajama bottoms took a flyer
    And Blondie gave his wiener a smack

  82. Kathleen Cole says:

    A woman was trying out smack;
    Meth was quite the wrong track.
    Her clock wound down,
    She’s had to leave town,
    To hang with a Betty Ford pack.

  83. patience and the prodigal says:

    From Patience;

    Santa was eyeing the stack,
    “if I get down I’ll never get back”
    The chimney’s too tight
    No torch and no light,
    And Rudolph’s just havin the crack.

    and the Prodigal:

    A lady was blowing her stack
    on three queens, one of them black,
    The dealer was Sevvi,
    Man did he bet real heavy,
    He was holdin’ three kings and a jack.

  84. Carolyn Henly says:

    Said the guy underneath the whole stack
    “Listen chaps, could you get off my back?”
    Came back “Jack, ’tis Rugby;
    ‘fyou don’t wanna slug be
    More careful…” but crack, smack, and whack.

  85. Ailsa McKillop says:

    A vicar was trying to stack
    New hymn-books and sheets in their rack
    But was startled to see
    They’d gone all PC
    So God’s now a female (and black)

  86. Ailsa McKillop says:

    An auctioneer wanted to stack
    Some silver coquilles St. Jacques
    But he saw with a jar
    They were no objets d’art
    Sad to say, they were mere bric-à-brac

  87. Diane Groothuis says:

    A clairvoyant trying to stack
    Her tarot cards all in a pack
    Made a sudden prediction
    Without contradiction
    That Elvis will surely be back.

  88. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks! This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners! Limerick of the Week 109.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Stews.