Posts Tagged ‘Exercise Humor’

Happy Hydration Day (Limerick)

Saturday, June 23rd, 2018

It’s Hydration Day. Do not forget:
It’s important to keep your bod wet.
On the inside, I mean,
And not booze or caffeine.
Drinking water replenishes sweat.

A Limerick for International Day Of Yoga (June 21)

Saturday, June 20th, 2015

The U.N. has decreed June 21 to be International Day Of Yoga … which gives me a handy excuse to post this silly limerick:

A gal doing yoga while dressed
In a toga, when questioned, confessed
That her garb did not work—
Turned her poses berserk.
So instead of relaxed, she was stressed.

Yoga Tale (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 13th, 2015

Yoga Tale (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A student was learning a stretch
From her yoga instructor — a lech
Who made passes in classes;
He loved fetching asses.
A class action’s been filed v. that wretch.

*****
View my Yoga Tale Limerick image here.

Python Massage? What Kind Of Snake Oil Are They Selling? (Limerick)

Thursday, October 9th, 2014

Python Massage? What Kind Of Snake Oil Are They Selling? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A python massage? Thanks, but no!
It’s relaxing, you claim? I say whoa!
If it’s torture I’m after
(Now please hold your laughter)
Then off to the gym I shall go.

If you want a complimentary python massage, all you have to do is visit the Philippines Zoo.

Happy “Bike To Work Day”

Thursday, May 15th, 2014

May 16th is National Bike to Work Day. Of course, some rides work out better than others:

A Spousal Ride (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Spousal nagging pushed hubby to strike
Some balance by riding a bike.
But when ego and ass
Took a beating, alas,
He told biking and wife, “Take a hike!”

Limerick Ode To Wiggle Your Toes Day

Tuesday, August 6th, 2013

Wiggle Your Toes Day (August 6th) isn’t quite as silly as it sounds:

Limerick Ode To Wiggle Your Toes Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Since I’d like both my feet to obey,
I must exercise each ev’ry day:
I wiggle my toes,
Rotate heels — heaven knows
It looks lame, but forestalls foot decay.

Limerick Ode To A Stimulating Ride

Thursday, July 25th, 2013

Limerick Ode To A Stimulating Ride
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If a bike rider seems too elated–
First euphoric, than seemingly sated,
I suspect that her seat
May be vibrating heat,
And that she and her seat cover mated.

Note from Mad Kane: Yes, you can really add excitement to your bike trips with a “Happy Ride” Seat Cover. Apparently it does pretty much what you’d expect it to do.

Limerick Ode To National Running Day

Wednesday, June 5th, 2013

Happy National Running Day, celebrated yearly on the first Wednesday in June.

Limerick Ode To National Running Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My joints tend to creak when I walk.
My knees will lock up and then squawk.
I’ll keep shunning my running,
But watching is stunning!
So I hope you won’t mind if I gawk.

Nude Yoga? Yikes! (Limerick)

Thursday, March 29th, 2012

Yoga’s been in the news quite a bit lately. Is it good for you? Is it bad for you? Should you purchase some fancy yoga garb and skip the actual yoga?

But the oddest story so far is this one about naked yoga classes in South Park Slope, Brooklyn, New York.

Nude Yoga? Yikes!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Take a yoga class naked? How scary!
I confess that the thought makes me wary.
Yes I’ll gladly condone
Nude yoga alone.
But in public? I’m sorry. Too hairy.

(If you’re in Brooklyn and want to study yoga in a more modest fashion, check out my niece’s Crown Heights Fitness.)

Related Posts: A Fountain Of Face-Yoga Youth? and Yoga For What?

Limerick Ode To a Vigorous Old Lady

Wednesday, March 23rd, 2011

Limerick Ode To A Vigorous Old Lady
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An old grandma with spring in her walk
Moved so quickly that people would gawk.
When asked if a gym
Was the source of her vim
She said, “No — Jim, Kim, Henry and Hawk.”

(Posted at this spring prompt and at Poetic Asides’ spring prompt.)

UPDATE: July 23 is Gorgeous Grandma Day.

Snow Job (A Limerick Duet)

Thursday, January 27th, 2011

Who needs to join a gym when you own a home in New York and experience … pardon my French … winter! Cardio? Check. Muscle building? Check. Seriously, there’s nothing quite like lifting a snow-packed shovel way over my head in my quest for a place to dump the damn stuff. I’m talking mountains of snow, some of it still lingering from December.

That brings me to my wintry mix of limericks:

I Need A Landlord, STAT
By Madeleine Begun Kane

While owning a home can be nice,
It isn’t all sugar and spice:
After snow and ice falls
There’s no landlord for calls
About shov’ling. That’s part of the price.

Lamentable Weather
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I know that it sounds like I’m wailing,
But it’s thund’ring and lightening and hailing.
It was snowing all day.
Now an ice storm? Okay,
It’s official. Can’t take it. I’m bailing.

Feet Trouble Afoot

Wednesday, January 5th, 2011

Big Tent Poetry prompts us to write poems about feet this week. My pal Amanda’s already composed one. So, why not a limerick?

Feet Trouble Afoot
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I can’t always rely on my feet.
When I dance, they say “Please take a seat!”
Though I stretch ’em and bend ’em,
I can’t seem to mend ’em.
Of foot, I confess, I’m not fleet.

Whimsical Limerick

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman succumbed to a whim…

Here’s mine:

Whimsical Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman succumbed to a whim
And enrolled in an overpriced gym.
She tried free weights, machines,
Even yoga for teens,
Till she ran out of money and vim.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

We Don’t Think We Can Dance, But We Do It Anyway

Friday, November 27th, 2009

Every few years, my husband and I take ballroom dancing classes. We never make much progress, but we do have a good time. Except, of course, for the bruised limbs … and egos.

I’m celebrating our latest lesson attempt with a two-part limerick:

We Don’t Think We Can Dance, But We Do It Anyway
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My husband and I like to dance.
Are we good? Oh no way — not a chance.
I am not being humble
In saying we stumble
And often trip over our pants.

But we’re working on rumba and swing.
Plan a do-over class in the spring.
And to those who might think
That we really do stink,
Just be glad we’re not trying to sing.

UPDATE: Happy International Dance Day! (April 29th)

Jump, Jive, and Sweat

Monday, August 28th, 2006

“You’re gonna swing dance in this weather? Are you insane?”

I’ve been asked that a lot lately, which isn’t surprising when you consider this summer’s humidity and heat wave. New York City’s weather has been so unbearable, that felons have switched from car theft to stealing AC’s. … (Jump, Jive, and Sweat is continued here.)

UPDATE: Happy International Dance Day! (April 29th)