Posts Tagged ‘Romance Humor’

A Not-So-Romantic Limerick For “Propose Day”

Monday, February 8th, 2016

A fellow named Bill lost his will
To propose to a gal who was shrill;
While down on his knees
He’d started to sneeze,
And she said, “You are making me ill!”

Happy Propose Day! (February 8)

A Match You Can Bank On

Monday, December 28th, 2015

A woman who’d stanched the advances
Of a man she had met at some dances,
Was informed of his wealth.
Seems his grand fiscal health
Has sufficed to enhance romance chances.

Post-Valentine’s Day Ode

Saturday, February 15th, 2014

Post-Valentine’s Day Ode
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Shoveling snow–
Not my favorite chore.
Mark did it for me.
That’s what marriage is for.

Those Poor Italian Husbands (Limerick)

Monday, September 2nd, 2013

Those Poor Italian Husbands (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In Italy, men are bereft:
The economy’s lost all its heft.
They no longer can rent
Second places — they’re spent!
So most have no mistresses left.

My limerick was inspired by this Daily Beast article: The Economic Crisis Makes Infidelity Too Expensive, which quotes an Italian husband, who complained: “It really messed up my romantic life.” (The pitiful fellow had been forced to rent out his bachelor pad in Rome.)

Valentine’s Day Limerick and Haiku Too

Tuesday, February 14th, 2012

Yet Another Valentine’s Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

St. Valentine’s Day can be risky
Cuz the men folk do tend to get frisky.
And watch out for the pious:
They sure like to try us
Before and yes after their whiskey.

*****
St. Valentine’s Day
may be over in theory–
never in spirit.

Acrostic Limerick: Hot, Cross Lovers

Wednesday, May 4th, 2011

Last month I had such a good time writing these two acrostic limericks, that I had to try another in response to a new prompt from Acrostics Only.

Acrostic Limerick: Hot, Cross Lovers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A flexible gal who is spry,
Gymnastically gifted, and sly
Initiates sex,
Leaves her lovers as wrecks —
Enticing, entrapping — oh my!

UPDATE: April 23 is Lover’s Day

Befuddled Limerick

Monday, April 11th, 2011

A fellow was feeling befuddled
Cuz he yearned for one thing — to be cuddled.
But he only got quickies
Or sometimes mere hickeys.
It appears that his message was muddled.

(Prompted by Befuddled)

Fit To Be Tied Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, April 3rd, 2011

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus one Honorable Mention.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was fit to be tied…

or

A woman was fit to be tied…

Here’s mine:
Fit To Be Tied Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was fit to be tied
When he learned that his lover had lied.
He’d proposed. She said “No,”
And confessed, “Sorry Joe.
See that gal over there? She’s my bride.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

UPDATE: April 23 is Lover’s Day

Shy Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, March 27th, 2011

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus three Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A gal who was painfully shy…

or

A man who was painfully shy…

Here’s mine:

Shy Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A gal who was painfully shy
Had a crush on a very cute guy.
When she fin’lly let on,
He was rude — said “Begone!”
You want fairy tale endings here? Why?

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

Accidental Haiku

Saturday, March 5th, 2011

It makes me fidget,
but I book myself to write
accidental verse.

*****
Accidental glance,
de-liberating romance—
just the dance of chance.

*****

Shocking incident:
things accidentally went
exactly as planned.

*****

Ms. Bristol Palin’s
book contract and dancing gig—
accident of birth.

*****

Booked reservation
at restaurant, but canceled—
had reservations.

*****

If you dare mention
certain odd affinities,
brace for fidgeting.

*****

Romantic Verse

Wednesday, May 12th, 2010

I couldn’t let International Limerick Day go by without posting a new limerick prompt, could I? So I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A romantic young fellow named Will…

Here’s mine:

Romantic Verse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A romantic young fellow named Will
Was in love with a woman named Jill.
He proposed on his knees,
But then started to sneeze.
Perhaps he should phone Dr. Phil.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Related Post: Romancing The Stoic

Romancing The Stoic (Humor Column)

Sunday, February 14th, 2010

Last night hubby Mark reminded me about a humor column I wrote about a romance-impaired woman (me) marrying a romantic man like Mark. He thinks it’s the perfect column to post on Valentines Day, so here’s how Romancing The Stoic begins:

Romancing The Stoic
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“We’ve lost power!” I shrieked, as the lights went out and a Brahms concerto stopped mid-cadenza. “It’s okay,” my husband Mark said, in a futile attempt to calm me down. For already I was ransacking the house in search of flashlights, candles, matches and batteries. And as usual, I’d hidden them away in a safe and elusive spot.

“Don’t worry,” Mark said, when he finally had my attention. “We’ll bundle up in front of the fireplace. We’ll eat by candlelight, sip wine, and talk. It’ll be nice. You won’t even miss the light.”

That episode, which climaxed in a delightful, albeit light-impaired evening, illustrates our differences in the romance department. A quick bit of history: More than thirty years ago Mark proposed on his knees in the middle of the street, while I rushed to brush off his pants. His encore the next night was to supplement his weekly floral offering with a pair of crystal candlesticks. I, of course, fretted about their price.

Mark went through with the wedding, despite my apparent lack of the romance gene. Perhaps he felt he had sentiment enough for two. Or maybe he thought I’d come around some day — that my romantic spirit was merely submerged, just waiting to be tapped. … (Romancing The Stoic continues here.)

Ode To Unselfishness

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007

Ode to Unselfishness
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My husband is great—good as gold.
And there’s no one more giving, all told.
He’s benevolent, caring,
Unselfish, and sharing.
Don’t believe me? He gave me this cold. 

Belated Apology

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007

Belated Apology
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Your apology’s rather belated,”
Said the gal to a fellow she hated.
“Your delay makes me fear
That it isn’t sincere—
You still had your hair when we dated!”

*****

UPDATE: October 14 is Be Bald And Free Day.

Valentines Day Humor

Monday, February 5th, 2007

A Valiant Guy’s Guide To Valentine’s Day
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

Attention guys — it’s time to get ready for Valentine’s Day. After all, you don’t want a repeat of last year, do you? I didn’t think so.

For most men, the very mention of Valentine’s Day conjures up memories of a last minute, fruitless shopping expedition followed by a quarrel with their girlfriend or wife. Women, on the other hand, tend to think romantic thoughts: champagne, dining by candlelight, strolling violinists, and an after-dinner brandy in front of a roaring fireplace. This scenario exists only in their fantasies, mind you. After all, they are dating or married to you.  … (A Valiant Guy’s Guide To Valentine’s Day is continued here.)