I tried writing some verse about art,
But was off to a second-rate start:
My thoughts scattered, bespattered
By nonsense — brain battered.
ADD? But of course! Off the chart!
Posts Tagged ‘Health Satire’
Scattered (Limerick)
Tuesday, October 27th, 2026Give Me A Break
Monday, April 9th, 2007Give Me A Break!
By Madeleine Begun Kane
The play was quite talky and lacked
Something crucial. It had but one act.
What was missing, you say?
Not one break in that play!
While they blathered, my bladder was racked.
How To Become An Insomniac
Monday, November 13th, 2006Becoming an insomniac isn’t as easy as it might appear. But with the help of these guidelines, dark circles and a cranky disposition will soon be yours.
1. Be born into a family of worriers. (Certain ethnic groups have the advantage here, but won’t be identified for obvious reasons.)
2. During your infancy, become accustomed to dozing in serene silence, a state you will never encounter as an adult.
3. Have parents so desperate for peace and quiet, that they routinely send you to bed hours before you feel even a hint of fatigue. This will allow you to develop helpful habits like gazing at the ceiling, counting sheep, and plotting revenge.
4. Cultivate your neuroses. A dedicated would-be insomniac will work on this throughout the day. But if time is limited, performing any of these activities right before bedtime should do the trick: … (How To Become An Insomniac is continued here.)
Attention Wal-Mart … Patients? (Limerick)
Thursday, October 19th, 2006Attention, Wal-Mart … Patients?
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Wal-Mart is marketing health care
Via clinics in stores. Near the hardware?
You can call me a cynic,
But Wal-Mart based clinics?
My prescription is “Patients Beware.”
Ode To Genetically Altered Cats (Limerick)
Monday, October 9th, 2006If you’re a feline fan who’s very allergic to cats (as I am) and you’re very rich (as I’m not,) scientists have come to your rescue with genetically altered cats:
Ode To Genetically Altered Cats
By Madeleine Begun Kane
Do cats make you suffer and wheeze?
There’s a cure for some real hefty fees:
A kitty whose genes
Are swept allergen clean.
You can kiss and it won’t make you sneeze.
