Posts Tagged ‘Marketing Humor’

Search Engine Ode (Limerick)

Saturday, April 21st, 2018

When your site’s on the first page of Bing
And Google, you whistle and sing,
Cuz your marketing plan
Just might work. You’re “The Man,”
As your Net takes a large upward swing.

Distilling The Truth (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 29th, 2014

Distilling The Truth
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Don’t sulk, but the bulk of the rye
Labeled heirloom’s a hand-crafted lie;
Many crafty booze sellers
Are re-seller fellers–
Small-batch fees for a factory buy.

*****

Yes that special, hand-crafted, small-batch, artisan, heirloom whiskey may really come from MGP, a large factory/distillery in Indiana.

Getting A Leg Up On Marketing (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 24th, 2013

Just when I thought nothing could surprise me, I learn that Japanese women are being paid to host advertisements on their thighs.

The girls can wear what they like, but WIT suggests that participants wear short skirts and high socks in order to draw attention to the ad. They can earn up to £65 per day.

Getting A Leg Up On Marketing (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a boon to some Japanese guys
Who relish a feast for their eyes:
To publicize brands
A company hands
Cash to gals who wear ads on their thighs.

Campaigning For Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

Sunday, February 12th, 2012

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A woman who ran a campaign…*

or

A fellow who ran a campaign…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Campaigning For Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A woman who ran a campaign
To sell drugs that were good for the brain
Was stunned and quite pissed
At the side effect list.
She flushed pills and her job down the drain.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

Google Doesn’t Have My Number (Limerick)

Friday, January 27th, 2012

Google compiles basic profiles on each of its users, based on web browsing habits. And I just found out I’m a 65-plus male.

If you’re wondering who Google thinks you are, simply sign into Google and visit your ad preferences.

Google Doesn’t Have My Number (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It seems Google believes I’m a guy–
One who’s 65-plus. And here’s why:
It claims its conclusion
Is ad-based — Delusion!
Ask my husband — this profile’s a lie!

Bugged By Ads (Humor Column)

Monday, December 26th, 2011

This “torment your pet frog” video, which features an iPad screen depicting tasty-looking insects, reminded me of an old humor column of mine:

Bugged By Ads
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you saw what looked like an insect on your television screen, what weapon would you reach for? A wad of tissues, perhaps? Okay, let’s make the bug more menacing than your average house invader — let’s make it a cockroach.

I’m guessing you’d grab a sacrificial magazine, roll it up, and take a swing at the screen. A swing strong enough to demolish the roach (you hope), while leaving your TV set more or less intact.

I’m also guessing you’d avoid guaranteed glass shatterers like hammers, drills, and chain saws. And up till this very moment, I would have sworn that a motorcycle helmet would sit atop the no-no list. Apparently, I was wrong.

A Tampa, Florida woman actually threw a motorcycle helmet at a TV screen roach. Overkill? I’d say so. Especially when you consider that:
1. The helmet trashed her screen; and
2. Her TV screen was cockroach-free.

No, I’m not talking about an LSD-crazed youth doing battle with hallucinated insects. I’m talking about a grown and presumably sober person who (along with other TV viewers) was suckered by Orkin Pest Control’s all too realistic ad featuring an animated roach crawling across the screen.

Like many others who were taken in by Orkin’s ad campaign, this Tampa woman was determined to kill the roach. Unfortunately, the only thing she managed to kill was her television set.

End of story? Of course not. This happened in the USA where people, including our helmet-wielding woman, want to be compensated for their injuries.

Now I’m a recovering lawyer and I used to handle my share of civil … and uncivil … litigation. So you might ask me what I’d do if I were consulted by the owner of a TV set destroyed by a motorcycle helmet aimed at a nonexistent roach.

Being a cautious and thorough attorney, I’d carefully evaluate the case by asking questions like:
1. Your one-of-a-kind, irreplaceable helmet was badly dented, right?
2. Have you had full body x-rays to check for internal TV screen glass shards?
3. How’s the helmet flinging-induced carpal tunnel syndrome progressing?
4. Why aren’t you seeking treatment for your extremely painful ducking to avoid glass-induced whiplash?

Orkin doesn’t appear to be worried about litigation. In fact, Orkin’s treating the whole matter with a sense of humor. It even ran an Orkin “Got Me” drawing at its (Orkin.com) Web site, asking viewers to describe (by April 30th) how its “fake out” cockroach crawling across the screen ad campaign “got” them. According to the submission information, “ALL ENTRANTS will be placed in a random drawing for a BRAND NEW TELEVISION.”

I was planning to email an entry myself, but I had a bit of a mishap: The roach that adorns Orkin’s submit button looked so real, I threw my shoe at it and broke my computer screen.

National Nut Day — No Baloney! (Limerick)

Wednesday, October 19th, 2011

October’s a big month for holidays. No, I’m not talking about Halloween. I’m referring to National Nut Day And National Bologna Day, October 22 and October 24, respectively. (And no, National Nut Day doesn’t celebrate politicians, although it should.)

National Nut Day — No Baloney! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a day for ‘most any old food—
Launched by salesmen, I’m forced to conclude.
October touts nuts
And bologna. Cold Cuts
Day is March, though. I plan to get stewed.

Attention Wal-Mart … Patients? (Limerick)

Thursday, October 19th, 2006

Attention, Wal-Mart … Patients?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Wal-Mart is marketing health care
Via clinics in stores. Near the hardware?
You can call me a cynic,
But Wal-Mart based clinics?
My prescription is “Patients Beware.”

Bloggers’ Rhapsody (Can Be Sung To Gershwin’s “Let’s Call The Whole Thing Off”)

Tuesday, August 8th, 2006

You praise my weblog
And I’ll mention your blog.
You link my weblog
And I’ll link to your blog
Weblog,
Your blog,
Weblog,
Your blog,
Let’s call the whole thing off.

You laud my rampage
On Bush’s last outrage.
You say I’m so sage,
Go check out my web page. …

(Bloggers’ Rhapsody is continued here.)