Posts Tagged ‘Online Humor’

Vendor Venting (Limerick)

Monday, January 20th, 2014

Vendor Venting (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A package arrives, which I lift.
Since I’ve NOT placed an order, I’m miffed.
It’s a greedy misdeed
To anticipate need.
Dear Amazon: Thanks for the gift.

Note from Mad Kane: This hasn’t actually happened to me, but it’s only a matter of time. Why? Because Amazon has just patented “anticipatory shipping.”

Yes, Amazon thinks it knows what we want, even before we know we want it.

Sorry Amazon, but my husband can’t read my mind … and neither can you.

Digital Impasse

Thursday, April 21st, 2011

Digital Impasse
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My brain is packed with secret codes
To access all my stuff,
Like bank accounts and sundry cards.
Recalling them is rough.

I pay my bills online and need
A PIN for each of those.
My website has a password too,
Protecting verse and prose.

These letters, numbers, symbols mix
In ways to stave off theft.
We’re warned to make them quite complex,
Defeating hackers deft.

We’re also cautioned, “Vary them.
Don’t make your codes the same.
A thief gets hold of only one —
You’re screwed and you’re to blame.”

So ciphers clutter up my mind.
I dare not write them down.
With paper bearing secrets dear,
A thief could go to town.

I’m forced to hide them in my brain —
A codified morass,
Despite my fear that one day soon
They’ll flee my mind en masse.

(Prompted by secrets at Poets United.)