Caffeinated Limerick

Once again, it’s Limerick-Off time. I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine…

Here’s mine. (It’s a three-verse limerick, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Caffeinated Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine.
He’s addicted, alas, to the bean.
Not to coffee or tea—
Cappuccino, you see,
Is his weakness, at prices obscene.

As his drinks climb past five bucks a pop,
He keeps trying and failing to stop.
He decided last week
It was high time to seek
A solution — went online to shop.

As he browsed. he found makers galore
At an Internet kitchenware store.
So he bought one — now brews
His own drinks — he can’t lose,
Although now he is credit card poor.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

(If you’d like to receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting Limerick-Off first line alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, right above my photo. Thanks!)

Tags: , , , , , ,

36 Responses to “Caffeinated Limerick”

  1. Linkmeister says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    So much so it gives him bad dreams
    He kicks off the bedsheets
    As though he’s in track meets
    And there’s grave concern for his spleen.

  2. Joe Vecchio says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    But too much of it made him so mean
    That he’d stay up all night
    Starting fight after fight
    And that’s how he joined the Marines!

  3. Mark Kane says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine.
    It’s become now an evening routine.
    Stiff cup after cup.
    How else to stay up?
    To pleasure his wife of nineteen.

  4. Vivek Banerjee says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine….
    Without a cup of mocha he is never seen.
    But he was reduced to tears
    When his wife of many years
    Ran away ’cause the coffee made him mean.

  5. Vivek Banerjee says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine….
    All that coffee makes him irritable and mean.
    His only problem is that due to lack of sleep
    He phones his friends at night till they weep
    And he has been like that since he was eighteen.

  6. Vivek Banerjee says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine..
    Every day he consumes cups nineteen..
    Then he stays up the whole night,
    And gives his wife a fright……..
    Who thinks more than once is just obscene.

  7. steve vitoff says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    In coffee cut with benzedrine
    He laced Keds on his feet
    Ran out to the street
    And since then he hasn’t been seen

  8. Jesse Levy says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    So much he’d even chew the bean
    But it gives him the jitters
    So whenever he Twitters
    His followers don’t know what they mean

  9. steve vitoff says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    Who signed with the Mujahideen
    But his failure to sleep
    Turned him into a creep
    Something they should have really foreseen

  10. Peter Metrinko says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    And an Irish young girl named Irene
    Fresh grounds, and a cup
    Would get him right up
    And then he would grind his colleen.

  11. There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine,
    Gargles coffee just like Listerine,
    He quiets his nerves
    With espresso hors d’oeuvres
    And a dark-roasted, soup-filled tureen

  12. There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine –
    He delights in the juice of the bean.
    “I just can’t get enough
    ‘Cause it makes me feel buff –
    I could wrestle a mad wolverine!”*

    *Individual results may vary. Ask your doctor if wolverine wrestling is right for you.

  13. Brion Emde says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    Found too much, did make him quite mean
    So he tried to cut back,
    His head with aches did wrack
    He’s back to the coffee machine

  14. Daisy Mae says:

    There’s a farmer who loves his caffeine
    Guzzling coffee each morn @4:15!
    But when his heifer gave birth
    He suffered bad ‘Coffee nerves’
    Now both’ve joined the ‘decalf’ scene

  15. dancinfool says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    So much you might call him a fiend
    When he is without
    He struggles and pouts
    And rages at coffee machine.

  16. Jesse Levy says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    So you’d better not get inbetween
    Him and his cup
    or he’ll beat you up
    And he’s still only a pre-teen.

  17. Veralynne says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine…
    Who’s interested in all things green
    The coffee keeps him going
    And annually he’s showing
    The best flowers and veggies you’ve seen!

  18. Veralynne says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine…
    And you’d think it’d make him mean
    Drinking espresso all day long
    And ending each day with a song
    His 3-times-a-night wife thinks it’s keen!

  19. Veralynne says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine…
    It gets him “twitchy” and keeps him lean
    He’s too nervous to find a girl
    So he gives his videos a twirl
    And stays “up” all night with his screen.

  20. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your delightful limericks … and please keep them coming.

    If you aren’t already getting my email Limerick-Off alerts and want them, please send me an email request.

  21. there’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    no matter how much per bean
    tall, vente or grande
    he always wants it handy
    and it cuts his appetite so he stays lean

  22. Peter Metrinko says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    From a bean that is very unclean
    First a civet will chew it
    And then he will poo it
    It’s the bean from the civet latrine

    (For those who don’t know about civet dung and coffee beans, see this)

  23. Sharon Harris says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    His affiliction is almost obscene
    When he sends out his Twitters
    In the throes of his jitters
    Who knows what his messages mean?

  24. Sharon Harris says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    And at Starbucks he’ll cause a great scene
    His appetite — heinous
    He opts intravenous
    His coffee less drink than vaccine

  25. Swisstoons says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine,
    No java, he’s just downright mean!
    He gets real shaky
    Starts acting so flaky,
    Without his ol’ friend, The Bean!

  26. Sharon Harris says:

    There’s a fellow who love his caffeine
    And it makes him real angry and mean
    His coffee “wild horses”
    Have caused five divorces
    It really has altered his “scene”

  27. amanda says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine.
    Straight up without any cream
    With sugar… or not
    Drink it cold sip it hot
    Free Starbucks was only a dream

  28. k bhattacharya says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine-
    And as he sips it he loves to preen
    Next he would stand on his toes
    Sneeze twice and blow his nose
    Rather loud, because the cops always arrive on the scene!

  29. DS says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    his days can not begin or convene
    till he feels that first volt
    he sure loves the jolt
    that he’s been giving himself since thirteen!

    Good to see you!

  30. madkane says:

    Oh good — more fun limericks. Thanks everyone!

  31. Lilibeth says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    And his handy expresso machine
    He blames, with conviction,
    His mother’s addiction
    and claims he’s inherited the gene.

  32. Lilibeth says:

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    And his handy espresso machine
    He blames, with conviction,
    His mother’s addiction
    And claims he’s inherited the gene.

  33. This is really a cool blog!! Kudos. My blog tries to despell the rumors about Little Johnny jokes so here’s a stab at a Limmerick re: Little Johnny

    There’s a fellow who loves his caffeine
    The “kids” stories said he was MEAN
    But he was just Little Johnny
    And really kind of funny
    The last known joke says he was thirteen

    fun blog. thanks

  34. There was a lady who loves her caffeine
    So much so it always fills her canteen
    She swears it keeps her awake
    So much so that she started to shake
    And now spends to much time in the latrine!

  35. Anne says:

    There once was a fellow who loved his caffeine
    You’d see him @ Starbucks in between
    His jaunts to Peets, Tullys and Caribou
    Where everyday he’d be the one who
    Sat at the window exuding a mud colored sheen.

  36. Anne says:

    There once was a fellow who loved his caffeine
    To drink @ his computer he was keen.
    Then one day into the keys the brown liquid spilled
    Well, you’d think his mother had just been killed!
    He emitted loud screeches and karate kicks that made ruble of that machine.