Posts Tagged ‘Christmas Party Humor’

Holiday Office Party Haiku

Saturday, December 18th, 2010

Last week I wrote a series of holiday office party haiku before and after my husband’s office Christmas party. Having survived the festivities, I figured I’d post what’s turned into a trilogy here. (Note: I added one in 2014, turning it into a quartet.)

Holiday party
At husband’s office tonight.
Note to self: Behave.


Trying not to smile–
must conserve facial muscles
for office party.


Friendly note from pals:
“Enjoy the office party.”
Never a good plan.


Ev’ryone behaved
At the office Christmas bash.
Now safe to have fun.

(You can find more of my office party humor here.)

Office Party Follies

Monday, November 6th, 2006

There are few “fun” activities quite so vexing as the Office Christmas Party; that obligatory gathering of bosses and subordinates, cronies and rivals, back-stabbers and back-stabbees. Plus a horde of husbands and wives who spend the entire night planning their escape.

Every year you fantasize about sending an RSVP marked “Thanks, but no thanks.” Then you return to reality and break the news to your spouse. “It’ll be different this time,” you lie. “It’ll be fun.”

“I’ll go to yours, if you’ll go to mine,” your mate responds. “And you have to promise to behave.”

This brings us to the art of gaffe avoidance. After all, who isn’t but one faux pas from the unemployment line? Dodging the pitfalls of office party protocol can be a daunting challenge. But with the help of this agreement, you’ll survive yet another function with your job intact.

AGREEMENT entered into on ____________, by Husband and Wife (collectively referred to as “Couple”).

WHEREAS, Couple’s employers suffer from the delusion that Office Christmas Parties are good for morale;

WHEREAS, Couple, being sane individuals, would prefer to stay home; and

WHEREAS, although Couple can’t prove a connection, everyone who skipped last year’s bash is now unemployed; … ” (Office Party Follies is continued here.)