Leading With Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was trying to lead…*

or

A woman was trying to lead…*

*(Minor variations to my first lines are acceptable, but rhyme words may not be altered.)

Here’s my limerick:

Leading With Limericks
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was trying to lead,
But his rumba was not up to speed.
His steps got all tangled,
His partner’s feet mangled.
I’m guessing that’s why he was kneed.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

UPDATE: Happy International Dance Day! (April 29th)

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62 Responses to “Leading With Limericks (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Veralynne says:

    Ouch! All that tangling and mangling and ETC.! It hurt when I laughed at that one! LOL!

  2. Veralynne says:

    A woman was trying to lead
    A parade from the top of her steed
    She bared all ‘gainst taxation
    That’s proved a vexation
    Forever. When WILL end the greed?

  3. Victoria says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    to water his most nobel stead
    but when the horse would halt
    he fed it with a good bit of salt
    and the horse drank all that he need.

  4. Talicha J. says:

    So I have never written a limerick before so I don’t know if I got it completely right but it was fun trying lol

    A fellow was trying to lead
    But the map he could not read
    So the car missed it’s exit
    Shoulda mapquest it
    Now to get home he must speed

  5. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A woman was trying to lead
    A dog of a very smart breed
    When the dog got the urge
    And rushed up the verge
    Cocked its leg up a tree and then pee-ed.

  6. Jim Delaney says:

    The chairman was trying to lead
    An attack upon corporate greed,
    But his own compensation
    Would fund a small nation —
    Not quite the credentials you need.

  7. Hansi says:

    A man who was trying to lead
    Lead the chase on a very fast steed
    But when it came to the pass
    His horse ran out of gas
    For it seems he forgot to bring along the feed.

  8. A fella was trying to lead
    A tour group while riding a steed,
    But his horse made a break
    When it stepped on a snake;
    Thus an end to the tour was decreed.

  9. jesse levy says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    a secret life smoking weed
    but the scent hung around
    and his eyes could be found
    to resemble a red and white tweed.

  10. Terri Brewer says:

    A woman was trying to lead
    when a fellow she kneed
    ’cause he was pushing ahead
    not wanting to be led
    and it hurt so bad he peed!

  11. Madeleine says:

    Oh dear poor chap LOL!

  12. Pat Hatt says:

    A woman was trying to lead,
    Wanting her mate to plant his seed.
    Now dare I say,
    Adoption is the only way.
    For his wife and scissors decided to intercede.

  13. scott says:

    A fellow was trying to lead,
    that we may have a chance to succeed.
    But the Pols on the right,
    care not of our plight.
    And we may be undone by their greed.

  14. scott says:

    A woman was trying to lead.
    She whispered, “You have what I need.”
    He said “ I hate to boast,
    but I’m bigger than most.”
    She found that hard to swallow, indeed.

  15. Kathleen Cole says:

    Bouncing Away
    A woman was trying to lead
    from strength, never from need.
    At a critical junction —
    Wardrobe Malfunction.
    She fled her soapbox with speed!

  16. A fellow was trying to lead
    A life helping others in need.
    He raised legal tender
    But no way the big spender,
    after paying the bills, would succeed.

  17. Kathy El-Assal says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    By eschewing things counter his creed
    But Googling his name
    Brought blushes of shame
    Now his C.U.M. group’s become Twitter feed.

  18. Bruce Niedt says:

    A salesman was trying to lead
    his date to a sexual deed.
    But when he unzipped
    she took one look and quipped,
    “Satisfaction is NOT guaranteed!”

  19. brian says:

    a fellow was trying to lead
    and the world he hoped to feed
    so many hungry
    it made him angry
    fire in his belly, desire to succeed

  20. John Larkin says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    his pet kangaroo to its feed.
    But he couldn’t progress
    because of the mess
    where the dumb kangaroo had just peed.

  21. Thomas says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    too dumb to speak and read
    so Condi was instructing
    whilst Collin was obstructing
    but ballot stuffing created a second term need

  22. jinksy says:

    I’ve met some dancers like that in my time…

  23. A fellow was trying to lead
    And he toasted his kingdom with mead
    “I schpent lotsh of money
    “On thish wine made from honey,
    “Shomebody bring me my shteed!”

  24. BoysanHawaii says:

    Hi Madeline! My first attempt ina long time writing a limerick. As you know, I’ve been writing haikus. Thank you for letting me post.

    Aloha, Steve (Boysan Hawai’i).

    A fellow was trying to lead,
    His dog took one look at his feet,
    The dog crossed his path,
    The master fell flat,
    On his ass he yelled out, “Oh sheet!”

  25. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    His wife to the mens’ room (Great need!)
    Said his wife, “Not a chance!
    We’re going to dance.”
    So they danced on and on while he peed.

  26. A fellow was trying to lead…
    A jury who must’ve been smoking weed…
    Yes, the evidence was circumstantial for sure…
    But their brains must’ve been like manure…
    For now Casey Anthony has been freed.

  27. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    His men into battle, indeed!
    Said the men, far behind,
    “Oh Captain, be kind,
    You prick-face, for do we not bleed?”

  28. zongrik says:

    A conductor was trying to lead
    his orchestra at maximum speed
    all the fiddlers kept trying
    ’til they found themselves crying
    when their fingers would not stop to bleed

  29. Ouch. One must choose one’s dance partner well:)

  30. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    His troops to a glorious deed.
    “It’s valour and glory.
    Too gory? Don’t worry.”
    I’m afraid all his men disagreed.

  31. A woman was trying to lead
    sitting in the chairman’s seat
    once on the throne
    she gave orders by phone
    whilst her boss was lying at her feet

  32. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    His workers to much greater speed.
    “If you all’d work faster
    My worth becomes vaster.”
    “We’re screwed!”they said, hearing this screed.

  33. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    To greatness. Cf Runnymede.
    But for Magna cum Carta
    His troops wouldn’t barta
    Their lives for a dumb-assed old screed.

  34. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    Sitting down on his horse like a weed.
    But his men were all wary
    Since his voice did not carry
    So instead he stood up on his steed.

  35. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    His small pup (newly bought, pedigreed).
    The son of a bitch
    Would rather just ITCH
    Than be led to the vet and deFLEAed.
    Note:
    In my rhyming I have this strange vanity
    That my jokes not depend on profanity.
    That small dog with the itch
    Was the offspring of bitch.
    To rely on swear-words is insanity!

  36. Elaine says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    But thought “Issues of Faith” could impede
    Newt said “Wouldn’t you know,
    Mitt Romney has turned “Pro”
    Now it seems he’ll most likely succeed

  37. Veralynne says:

    An artist was working to lead
    Her stained glass and suddenly said,
    My work’s not like the rest
    It’s quite “unique” at best
    But I can’t let it go to my head.

  38. Veralynne says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    Conversation ’round to his own need
    But his date’s clever talk
    Showed him she’d surely balk
    And assertiveness cause him to bleed!

  39. Neal P says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    a life filled with daring and deed
    To his friends, who all hooted,
    he said, “I’m well suited”
    as he buttoned his Seville Row tweed

  40. A fellow was trying to lead
    A camel of dubious speed
    Through the miniscule eye
    Of a needle. That’s why
    The rich man has failed to proceed.

  41. J Sardo says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    A band with only one reed
    The ghost of Glenn Miller upset
    Said son if you add a clarinet
    For more music your fans will plead.

    And stop smoking that smelly old weed.

  42. Versebender says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    His date into doing the deed
    But she sniffed, “It’s been said
    You’re a failure in bed
    ‘Cause you lack the tool(s)to succeed

  43. Chuck Warn says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    A nation without favoring creed
    He talked a good game
    Made opponents seem lame
    With strength from all the slaves freed!

  44. Johanna Richmond says:

    Jan Brewer tried taking the lead
    With her rude pointy finger and screed,
    But the RNC chair
    Took the cake by a hair
    With his shitty Schettino misdeed. 

  45. a fellow was trying to lead
    the blonde to dance to his beat
    but her dress got trapped
    and she mis-stepped
    so this was a pity indeed

  46. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    The virtuous life he would need
    To master much faster
    The job of a pastor.
    He felt that his fate was de Creed!

  47. Tom Hale says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    After quaffing a flagon of mead
    His mojo quit workin
    When he’d chugged a firkin
    He bunny hopped, passed out, and peed

  48. Edmund Conti says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    A mission to far Ganymede.
    By Jupiter, he
    Was astounded to see
    That Newt, on a toot, did the deed.

  49. David King says:

    Good one this. Sorry I came to it too late.

  50. Veralynne says:

    A blind guy was trying to lead
    A blind dog of puzzling breed
    They knew by instinct
    Whenever one blinked
    They made the right turn–done the deed!

    I know. Just silly. Reminds me of a poem/story I recall from kiddom:
    Last night, at six o’clock this morning,
    A naked man ran down the street with his hands in his pockets.
    Jumped on a dead dog, which bit him,
    Jumped in cold water, which scalded him.
    And now he’s in the hospital in the best condition
    Not expected to live.

  51. Veralynne says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    The choir, but couldn’t keep speed
    His baton just went wacky
    The songs sounded tacky
    “Just STOP!” the members did plead.

  52. Julie Waxgiser says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    But Congress would not cede
    They’d hold up each bill
    With stupid partisan will
    From this idiocy can’t we be freed?

  53. kaykuala says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    A gang wrought with misdeeds
    Tried his best
    In his quest
    But realized he’s ill equipped

  54. Granny Smith says:

    A woman was trying to lead
    A chorus of children in need’
    Thinking,”Songs may be sweet
    But not food kids can eat.
    Could this church be re-choired to feed?”

  55. Sara Mcnulty says:

    A fellow was trying to leave
    the toilet seat down, her pet peeve.
    But the lid hit his crown
    knocked his toupee down
    Now he’s bald and searching for Aleve.

  56. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow who wanted to lead
    The nation in turning from greed, 
    Found most in agreement,
    When thinking that he meant
    The other guy’s greedy misdeed.

  57. Mark Megson says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    Earth’s survivors to start a new breed
    A flaw in his plan –
    He was the only man
    And all the woman were out of his league.

  58. Mark Kane says:

    A fellow was trying to lead
    His wife into doing “The Deed”.
    He parted his thighs,
    As she covered his eyes,
    Then left him, not heeding his need.

  59. Mark Kane says:

    A woman was trying to lead
    Her man into being her steed.
    She locked all the doors,
    As he got on all fours,
    Then moaned as he fed her his seed.

  60. Gordon Richmond says:

    Newt Ginrich was hoping to lead,
    And some poor misguided agreed,
    But voters soon learned
    He was only concerned
    With his personal ego and greed.

    So Mitt Romoney bolted ahead
    And Donald Trump jumped in his bed.
    Newt whined and resisted
    But later insisted
    He’d vote for Obama instead.

  61. A fellow was trying to lead
    A sweet young thing to bed, to breed.
    “You’ve read poems for hours
    And sent oodles of flowers
    But for chocolate, I would have agreed.”

  62. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your fun limericks! This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the Week 47.

    But there’s still lots of limerick fun to be had because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Off One’s Game Limerick.