Limerick Jest (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, cleverness, and humor. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here’s my How To Write A Limerick article.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner next Sunday, right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse. Your submission deadline is Saturday at 11:59 p.m. (Eastern Time.)

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who’d frequently jest…*

or

A woman was speaking in jest…*

or

A fellow would often ingest…*

*(Please note that minor variations to my first lines are acceptable. However, rhyme words may not be altered, except by using homonyms or homophones.)

Here’s my limerick:

Limerick Jest
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A disheveled young man would ingest
Lots of data, as if for a test.
Then each day, without fail,
He’d attempt to regale
Folks with factoids they wished he’d repressed.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please email Madkane@MadKane.com Subject: MadKane’s Newsletter. Thanks!

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50 Responses to “Limerick Jest (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Rob Pivarnik says:

    A fellow who’d frequently jest,
    Was considered to be quite a pest
    By kith and by kin
    Whose patience was thin:
    In peace may he forever rest.

  2. Fred Bortz says:

    A philosopher writing in jest
    Finds Descartes will not give him a rest.
    He tries dactyl and trochee,
    But ends up with hokey:
    “I think, thus iamb anapest.”

  3. kaykuala says:

    A woman was speaking in jest…
    Of her objections and loud protests
    Reluctantly accepted
    By those aggravated
    At least it did not end up in a mess

    Hank

  4. Mark Kane says:

    On learning I had to use “Jest,”
    (I so need this weight off my chest)
    I rushed to the gutter,
    But before I could utter,
    I pulled back and didn’t write “Breast”.

  5. Fred Bortz says:

    That’s what I get for reading this page when I should be sleeping. I know it’s Descartes, whom I often put before Deshorses, not Voltaire. I’ll edit the Facebook page but since facts don’t matter in Limericks, I’ll leave it alone here.

    Note from Mad Kane: I fixed it for you. :)

  6. Fred Bortz says:

    Okay, here’s the edited version. Now maybe I can sleep.

    A philosopher writing in jest
    Finds Descartes will not give him a rest.
    He tries dactyl and trochee,
    But ends up with hokey:
    “I think, thus iamb anapest.”

    P.S.: I know the accents in L5 are not quite right. I’m invoking punster’s license on “iamb,” and anapest is close, since it could just as well be “an apest,” whatever that means.

    Note From Mad Kane: I fixed your previous post because it sounded like you weren’t going to. So poor Voltaire is gone. :)

  7. Jane says:

    A hostess was speaking in jest
    (With true feelings kept close to her vest):
    “Oh, your no-show? No matter!
    My hard heart won’t shatter,”
    She laughed. Jerk! You didn’t impress!

  8. Mike says:

    An old man who loved to ingest,
    Baked beans, was sadly not blessed.
    With a knowledge of ploys,
    to hide the rude noise
    of his urges that went unsuppressed.

  9. Kirk Miller says:

    Just remember I’m often in jest
    When composing my poems. I’ve stressed
    That there’s no need to brood
    When I write about food.
    Is this serious? No, it’s ingest.

  10. rbasler says:

    A fellow liked watching Beau Geste
    Gary Cooper’s the one he liked best
    North African region?
    The French Foreign Legion?
    Do we need a remake? Be my guest!

  11. Judith H. Block says:

    A woman was speaking in jest
    When love making she did suggest,
    But all went awry,
    He didn’t know why
    She punched him when he grabbed her breast.

  12. John Sardo says:

    A fellow who’d frequently jest
    To a woman he finally confessed
    No more kidding he said
    So let’s get to bed.
    Then her lips he gently caressed.

  13. John Sardo says:

    A woman was speaking in jest
    Of longings she ever repressed
    In a burst of admission
    And finally submission
    She laughed saying now I’m obsessed.

  14. John Ramos says:

    At the diner, a man would ingest
    His romaine without pants, shirt or vest;
    When the waitress looked pained,
    He politely explained
    He preferred his green salad undressed.

  15. Craig says:

    My gal went out joggin’ but jest
    Wasn’t close to approprit’ly dressed.
    Guys would run along side her
    As soon as they spied her –
    ‘Cause her top failed at keepin’ abreast.

  16. Craig says:

    A demon was trying to ingest
    The soul of the elderly guest.
    Seems the man broke a vow
    To the devil and now
    He’d been scheduled to be repossessed!

  17. Jesse Levy says:

    A fellow who’d frequently jest
    Now is very hard pressed
    to find things as funny
    when off went his Honey.
    What has fallen, you ask? His crest.

  18. Fred Bortz says:

    A history lesson in Limerick form

    Was Turing who chose to ingest
    A cyanide apple depressed?
    Well what would you choose
    If you were in his shoes
    With a chemically feminized breast?

    How Britain drove its greatest genius Alan Turing to suicide–just for being gay

  19. Johanna Richmond says:

    I know I just said, not in jest,
    That I planned to give lim’ricks a rest,
    But that promise won’t mute me:
    I’m back! OK, shoot me –
    I’m wearing my bullet-proof vest!

  20. colonialist says:

    A cowboy who had to ingest
    Beef jerky in days of Old West,
    Would now find the jerky
    At Thanksgiving, turkey -
    No wonder the West is depressed!

  21. Johanna Richmond says:

    Oh masters of Joycean jest,
    Does one delve with immoderate zest
    ’neath the old “Moorish Wall”
    To see that port of call
    As the organ of Molly’s yes-crest?

    **The passage from the end of Ulysses:
    “…I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish Wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes. “

  22. Jen Harris says:

    Please do consider my jest
    Though limerick form’s not my best
    I’m hardly a bruiser;
    Am I yet a loser?
    My first time, let’s call it a test.

  23. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow would often ingest
    Far too many puns, all in jest;
    His affected digestion
    Produced a suggestion
    Of gas, which he passed – I’ll attest.

  24. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman was speaking in jest
    When she vowed that she’d take on the rest
    Of the nation. Hey, Sarah!
    You made a huge errah:
    Your values? Let’s say, not the best…

  25. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow who’d frequently jest
    That his genitals aced every test
    Was considered quite ballsy,
    Although he had palsy:
    The gals shook him off as a pest.

  26. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    The speeder proceeded to jest
    With the cop who had stopped him. Who guessed
    She’d have no sense of humor?
    (A mere urban rumor.)
    Three sentences later, arrest.

  27. A fellow who’d frequently jest
    Has sadly been laid to his rest
    They thought he was joking
    When he said he was choking,
    As a gag, it was one of his best.

  28. Godiva was speaking in jest
    When she offered to horse-ride, undressed.
    But when put on the spot,
    She discarded the lot—
    Those who peeked were clearly impressed.

  29. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    The burglar replied in weak jest,
    His escape foiled again: He confessed
    To a love of the night life
    And now on his sixth wife,
    His Bauble demanded the best

    Of whatever her Morris could lift
    From suckers (deserved to be stiffed!).
    They longed for the good stuff,
    But Mo, caught, made things tough
    Til Bauble displayed a real gift

    For working the phones as a hoochie.
    She went by the name Mama Coochie,
    And brought off the boys
    With her sass and her ploys;
    They get by now in ol’ Chattahoochee.

  30. John Ramos says:

    Captain Kidd went ashore to ingest
    Kegs of rum with the bawds he caressed;
    To finance his pleasure,
    He spent all his treasure;
    By morning, he had a bare chest.

  31. scott says:

    a Pol who would frequently jest
    of women and rape and incest
    is a few brain cells short
    and will have my support
    when the sun rises up in the west

  32. Rallentanda says:

    a fellow i know said in jest
    you’re gorgeous not what i expect
    he ooh’d and ahh’d and went too far
    being now a pain and a pest

  33. brian miller says:

    a fellow would frequently jest
    he’s stouter than all the rest
    til he met a dame
    who put him to shame
    now he does all her houswork, no less

  34. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A Comic would make out in jest
    That his speech was’nt really the best
    At meal times he’d stutter
    I need b-bread, b-b-butter
    With-ch-ch- ch-ch-chicken breast.

  35. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    You may think I’m talking in jest
    And should at 84 give sex a rest
    Well, I admit I’m damn slow
    But I will have you know
    This old bird still enjoys the old nest.

  36. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A fellow who would frequently jest
    In the ways of a sick boring pest
    Burped before he could start
    To ignite a fart
    And burnt all the hair off his chest.

  37. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    Dear Madeleine, Would you kindly remove two of the ch’s from my Comic verse if possible as I think it would sound better with only 4 instead of 6.
    cheers and best regards, Radnoft

    Note from Mad Kane: Done. :)

  38. Bob Kennedy says:

    A Joker who’d frequently jest
    Had cards he kept close to his vest.
    To the Batman he’d hum
    “Why so serious, chum?”
    “DC’s office is moving out West.”

  39. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A young Hooker would frequently jest
    With her trick as she quickly undressed
    Saying, My fronts closed today
    But if you are gay
    The entrance at rear is best

  40. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    With his Maiden Aunt decided to jest
    And surprised her in only her vest
    But he didn’t expect
    What she went and did next
    I think they call it incest.

  41. Diane Groothuis says:

    A woman was speaking in jest
    When she said he could play with her breast
    But he offered a deal
    If she would she could feel
    Both his legs up as far as the teste.

  42. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    Many an insult is spoken in jest
    Maybe one day you’ll be put to the test
    So if expecting the worst
    From some idiot’s outburst
    Give the finger and hope for the best

  43. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    A bull who’d frequently jest
    To a rooster said,”You don’t look the best
    This Cock and Bull story
    I had hoped to end gory
    But I’ve run out of rhyme for the rest.

  44. Bob Dvorak says:

    A woman was speaking in jest
    When she told him “I’m truly impressed
    “By the size of your, ummm,
    “And magnificent bum.”
    He replied, though, “So let’s get undressed.”

  45. Jesse Levy says:

    A fellow once made a jest
    ’bout the size of his wife’s chest
    He said they were teeny
    But she was a meany
    And now in peace may he rest.

  46. Johanna Richmond says:

    Don’t you hate it when folks say,”I jest!”
    After putting your pride to the test?
    Hell, “I Jest!” just won’t do
    When “How was it for you?
    Is rejoined with, “You looked better dressed!”

  47. Tim James says:

    It’s all very hard to digest:
    In the earliest days of the West
    With a run of bad luck
    Donner’s Party got stuck.
    On their trav’ling companions they messed.

    Donner Party

  48. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman enjoys every jest
    That she makes. Hubby thinks she’s a pest
    At least some of the time:
    You, there, is that a crime?!
    Not my best, but on this case I rest :)

  49. Radnoft Pladzitcki says:

    Sorry Madeleine I forgot to say thank you for your assistance, cheers

  50. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for another fun week of limericks. This Limerick-Off is officially over. And the winner is…

    Congratulations to the Limerick of the Week Winner, the Facebook Friends’ Choice Award Winner, and the Honorable Mention Winners: Limerick of the week 141.

    But you can still have lots of limerick fun because a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Limerick Fall.