Moody Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, here are two excellent resources: OEDILF on Writing A Limerick and Speedy Snail’s Limerick Rhythm and Meter.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow was in a bad mood…

or

A woman was in a bad mood…

Here’s mine:

Moody Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow was in a bad mood
Cuz he’d just been informed he’d been sued.
He’d posted online
A libelous whine
And would soon be a very poor dude.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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77 Responses to “Moody Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Tilly Bud says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    And became unbelievably crude
    She farted and belched
    Then deliberately welched
    On a bet to sing ‘Fame’ in the nude

  2. Jesse Levy says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    ’cause she hated all things that were lewd.
    She looked on all porn
    with nothing but scorn
    But she did like to see a nude dude.

  3. David says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    Something he did his wife misconstrued
    He kissed a young thing
    Just a brief fling
    Now he’s locked out in the nude!

  4. J Sardo says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    He had just eaten some awful food
    It was prepared by a date
    Who he considered first rate
    But the food was so crude he was forced to be rude.

  5. Karen Trask says:

    A woman was in a bad mood.
    AT work she was quite rude!
    She was so cross.
    She punched her boss.
    For that she’s being sued.

  6. Mike Miller says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    (had something to do with her brood).
    When her husband came home
    She told him to roam,
    And he knew that this thought would be good!

  7. Brion Emde says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    And that made him act rather rude
    So he told his dear wife
    He desired a new life
    Now he’s fertilizer for food

  8. Peter M says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    Where he worked at a school and served food
    At this cafeteria
    He felt quite inferiah
    Cause his locks were wrapped up in a snood.

  9. A woman was in a bad mood,
    because a man that she had screwed,
    then showed everyone
    a film of their fun,
    and all of the viewers then booed.

  10. A woman was in a bad mood,
    At the palace they call Holyrood
    She screamed, “All the Scots
    Are just big drunken sots!”
    Then she said she had been misconstrued…

  11. deathsweep says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood,
    his cello was sad and unglued,
    when played it would moan
    and groan and would drone,
    like a cat with a bad attitude.

  12. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood;
    He had swallowed a fly with his food.
    As he coughed and he spluttered
    Those nearest him muttered
    ‘Those noises are terribly rude!’

  13. Sharon Harris says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    For as usual, her husband was rude
    She dumped her bad spouse
    After emptying their house
    And she has a great new attitude!

  14. Rodney Smith says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    She was always mad at her dude
    His fart’s were smally and rude
    She always fried his food
    Or maybe guy’s are just rude.

  15. Matty says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    and so she decided to brood
    she threw a big fit
    which popped a big zit
    and landed right into her food

  16. Matty says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    cause her husband was awfully crude
    she gave him a glance
    as he hitched up his pants
    his exposure was frightfully lewd

  17. Bodhirose says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    He pouted, grimaced and stewed
    He continued his dysfunction
    By his rueful compunction
    And extended his ongoing brood.

    Bad Mood

  18. Elaine Spall says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    For the model he chose to paint nude
    Had already been painted
    And he almost fainted
    When he saw where she’d been tattooed

  19. Elaine Spall says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    ‘Cause she couldn’t stop thinking of food
    Then she said “Better try it…
    This new sticky diet…”
    And painfully had her lips glued

  20. earlybird says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    as he’d realised his date was a prude;
    she’d cried in surprise
    and shut tight her eyes
    when he’d wandered around in the nude.

  21. A fellow was in a bad mood
    The budget he proposed was quite crude;
    He said, “Quit your cryin’
    My name is Paul Ryan
    Here’s a voucher since Medicare’s screwed!”

  22. A lady is in a bad mood
    Though married, she is a prude.
    Her man is too lewd,incredibly crude
    which depressed her and left her subdued.

  23. A fellow was in a bad mood.
    Be assured that his language was rude.
    The judge gave his ex-wife
    all he’d gathered in life.
    He was left more or less in the nude.

  24. madkane says:

    Thanks everyone for your delightful limericks and please keep them coming!

  25. Martin H says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    After seeing himself in the nude.
    He was down in the mouth
    As his eyes travelled south
    Where the length of his age could be viewed.

  26. brian says:

    a woman was in a bad mood
    and went off to shop & to brood
    her husband just cried
    as the bill he eyed
    what were you thinking dude?

    lol, this may be the first limerick ever written by me…hope you have a great monday

  27. Just noticed, when I came back for a read of the limericks, that a missing line break has messed up my first limerick. It should be:

    A lady is in a bad mood
    Though married, she is a prude.
    Her man is too lewd,
    incredibly crude
    which depressed her and left her subdued.

    Hardly worth correcting!

  28. Daisy Mae says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    When his girlfriend, he learned, was a prude
    As he tried to seduce her
    She said “That’s ABUSE, sir!
    Stop letting your penis protrude!”

    Second thoughts changed her mind and her mood
    She’d really not meant to be rude
    After all, he was cute
    He had quite a ‘salute’
    But too late, he’d been verbally screwed.

  29. hansi says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    After finding a hair in her restaurant food
    Much to her dismay
    The hair appeared to be gay
    A not from a woman but from a dude.

  30. hansi says:

    A man was in a bad mood
    He was a virgin, never been screwed.
    He changed his life
    Even took a wife
    But when it came to doin’ the deed, found it much too lewd.

  31. scott says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood.
    The nightmares he could not elude.
    His legs left in the sand,
    he came home half a man.
    And we owe him our deep gratitude.

  32. Bone says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    Caught up in a self-pitied brood
    His wife left today
    With that, he’s OK
    But her mother’s still here, how shrewd!

  33. Your limericks are so charming, you always make me smile =)

  34. madkane says:

    I’m enjoying these! Please keep them coming and cross-post on my Facebook post if you’re active on FB. Thanks for the fun limericks and kind words!

  35. A fellow was in a bad mood.
    His order had been misconstrued.
    He’d ordered some Duff
    but it was by a bluff.
    The bottle was empty. How rude!

  36. Jingle says:

    profound limerick.

    cheers.
    love your crispy words.

  37. Oops. There was a typo in the one I left above…

    Duff Beer Limerick

    A fellow was in a bad mood.
    His order had been misconstrued.
    He’d ordered some Duff
    but it was a bluff.
    The bottle was empty. How rude!

  38. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood,
    And feeling financially screwed,
    When he read in his statement
    How lowly his rate went,
    So int’rest had barely accrued.

  39. Elizabeth says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    Her feelings could only be skewed
    So she went for a walk
    Did some inner self-talk
    Now, no longer needs to be rude.

  40. dustus says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    Not sure of what she should do
    Ex showed no compunction
    And beat the injunction
    Their clip now has 10,000,000 views

  41. Steve Vitoff says:

    two verses

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    And so was the rest of his brood
    “This oatmeal’s too lumpy!”
    ”This dress looks all frumpy!”
    They just had a bad attitude

    But then they improved their demeanor
    Turned nicer and didn’t turn meaner
    “This glass is half-full!”
    “You push and I’ll pull!”
    And yes indeed, their grass was greener

  42. A fellow was in a bad mood
    So he sat in a corner and stewed.
    By him there happened to pass
    A most cheery and beautiful lass–
    And the sight of her made him feel good!

    (Corny, but this happens when I’m in a good mood….)

  43. Geraldine says:

    I don’t have a limerick to share but I love yours Madeline.

    Hugs to you, G

  44. Versebender says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    As he lay there distraught in the nude
    Other women had said
    He was worthless in bed
    But this was the first time one booed

  45. A lady was in a bad mood
    She addressed a crowd that was rude,
    She said, “Stop your wailin’
    My name’s Sarah Palin
    And I can see Mexico from my new house…”)))

  46. Granny Smith says:

    A woman was in a bad mood.
    With him she had billed and cooed.
    She thought it would stay
    Forever that way
    Till he told her that she’d misconstrued.

  47. Granny Smith says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    Because of the fact she’d just viewed.
    Her neighbors heard wails
    As she stepped from the scales,
    “I’m doomed to prefer fatty food!”

  48. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood,
    He expressed it by being quite rude:
    Hung a “moon” out his car
    Late that night near a bar,
    Where cops found him passed out in the nude.

  49. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    So one drink led to three, then to stewed:
    At last, home he staggered,
    Pale, sweating, and haggard.
    He swayed on the front steps, half nude,

    Where at dawn his wife found him. Dismayed,
    She brayed, “You had just gotten paid!”
    At which point he threw up
    In her favorite D cup…
    (It’ll be quite a while ’til he’s laid).

  50. oh i’m so bad with limericks..but always enjoy reading yours..

  51. Veralynne Pepper says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    You’da thunk she’da not gotten stewed
    She stumbled to her car
    And somehow drove to the bar
    Where she put on a rude attitude.

  52. Veralynne Pepper says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    She just couldn’t control her huge brood
    They drove the block crazy
    The neighbors called her lazy
    And all she would say is, “Don’t intrude!”

  53. Veralynne Pepper says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    But he didn’t let on! Wasn’t rude!
    He was sweetness and light
    To all in his sight
    A gentleman ever, not crude.

  54. Luke Prater says:

    Ha! Great stuff.

    Luke

  55. Catherine says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    Cuz her fellow was acting quite lewd
    He jumped at the chance
    To take off his pants
    Poor guy, she’s a bit of a prude!

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    Cuz the gal that he wooed and  persued
    Refused to undress
    When he started to press
    When asked, he replied “I got screwed!”

  56. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman was in a bad mood,
    Inclined on her problems to brood.
    Her thoughts grew more bitter,
    But she was no quitter:
    180’d, and bad mood eschewed :)

  57. As one’s love life and mood frequently go hand-in-hand, I offer these two perspectives…:)

    A woman was in a bad mood
    Once her boyfriend had dumped her for good.
    She ate day and night,
    Now she’s no longer slight,
    And her only love life is with food!

    A fellow was in a bad mood…
    With a tendency often to brood.
    The girl he adored
    Seemed incredibly bored,
    So he never knew quite where he stood!

  58. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman was in a bad mood:
    Above her head, dark stormclouds brewed.
    She hurled verbal lightning,
    Demeanor quite fright’ning
    As on hapless husband she chewed

    Who promptly bit back a retort
    But let out a sigh and loud snort.
    She stopped short, and listened
    Though tears on cheeks glistened:
    “I’m sorry, you’re such a good sport!

    Come hug me, that’s just what I need;
    I’ve been running since six at top speed.”
    He shrugged, “It’s okay,
    You’ve just had a bad day…
    Can I fix you some tea?” She agreed.

    And later that night she lay thinking
    While outside, the bright stars were winking.
    We’re lucky, life’s good;
    I feel so understood!
    Smiled, blinking, then into dreams sinking…

  59. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood,
    Took it out on a film he reviewed:
    Acting s*cked! And the plot?
    Was there one? I forgot!
    His “review” contract wasn’t renewed.

  60. LBTL says:

    ah@ you make it look so easy!!! :(
    Now if I could hear a meter, what it sounds like it would make sense I think. Thank you for the visit! :)

  61. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your kind words and fun limericks. And please keep those limericks coming!

  62. Ron Mardix says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    with a girl that he yearned to see nude
    he got in a mess
    when he took off her dress
    the woman, it seems, was a dude

  63. Yousei Hime says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    for his wife did but snub him and brood.
    I don’t understand her!
    Why is she in a dander?
    All I said was that chocolate ain’t food

  64. A fellow was in a bad mood:
    so broke that all he had was canned food.
    He decided to strip
    and earn plenty of tips —
    now, he earns his dough in the nude.

  65. scott says:

    A woman was in a bad mood.
    Her finances she had reviewed.
    Just enough in the bank,
    to fill up her tank,
    but nothing left over for food.

  66. wayne says:

    nicely done…thanks for sharing this

  67. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman was in a bad mood
    Cause her husband was just downright rude;
    When she talked he ignored;
    When she flirted he snored;
    When she sang the boor actually booed.

  68. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman was in a bad mood:
    What could her day further include?
    Her rent check had bounced,
    Her job she’d renounced;
    ‘Twas the fourteenth, but nonetheless skewed.

  69. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood,
    His boss had the nerve to intrude
    On his call: “Back to work!”
    “Gotta go ~ what a jerk.”
    That call wasn’t all he’d conclude…

    Because early the following day
    The boss called him in: “Listen, Ray,
    You’ve been coasting all year.
    We don’t need slackers here,
    So consider this notice with pay.”

    Ray was shocked: “Deb, what if I do better?”
    “All those calls to your girlfriend? Forget her;
    Because here, your time’s mine ~
    Toe the line, rain or shine!”
    So he stayed, obeys rules to the letter…

  70. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman was in a bad mood:
    She hadn’t been properly wooed.
    On bent knee he’d proposed,
    Then became indisposed –
    Dropped her ring and threw up in his food.

    How could she abide sickly Tex?
    Love life hexed :( Oh, she missed hunky Rex!
    She’d renege, pick a fight
    (Though it might not be right)
    And return to her ex for the sex.

  71. A Fellow Considers a Second Breakfast

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    For he happened to see himself nude
    The mirror’s reflection
    Showed such imperfection
    He thought it was purposefully rude!

    “How dare you so cruelly distort me!
    I know for a fact I’m not portly!
    In fact I recall
    Said ‘Mirror²’ on the wall
    “If I’m lying, then you can report me!

    “I’m known the world-round for the truth
    I reveal to the aged and the youth
    You might hear otherwise
    From a mirror that lies,
    But not I! Here’s the pudding of proof:

    “Some mirrors will always reflect, it
    Seems, only one’s outer aspect. It
    Is surely no match for
    Your slim inner stature
    I suggest that you promptly reject it!”

    Said the man, “Lying mirror so crude!
    I refuse to believe one so rude
    As to tell me I’m fat
    As an overfed cat
    And put me in such a bad mood”

    That fellow once in a bad mood,
    Overcome with a bad attitude,
    Got a second opinion
    From his own hired minion
    Then, satisfied, ate some more food!

  72. Madeleine says:

    Bravo again! Excellent. Grinning from ear to ear :O)

  73. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Oh, Paula, that was just marvelous ~ a mirror-cle of limerick-sy! :^D I, too, adore the multi-stanza short stories: at last, someone who shares the attraction! Write on!!!

  74. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman was in a bad mood,
    Faced a dumbfounded burglar while nude
    Who fled after screaming,
    “I gotta be dreaming!
    (A nightmare.) I’ll never intrude

    Again without weighing the risks:
    I’d’ve blown out at least three back discs!”
    She sighed, “That was eight
    For the month. Is my weight
    Listed on ‘Burglar Tricks: D*ck-Chick Frisks’?”

  75. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow was in a bad mood
    After seeing himself in the nude,
    But he hoped, in his clothes,
    Biting down on a rose,
    He’d exude Argentine attitude.

  76. madkane says:

    Thanks again to all of you for your delightful limericks and kind words. This Limerick-Off competition is now over and you can find the Limerick of the Week Winner and the four Honorable Mentions here.

    But don’t worry — there’s still lots of opportunity to have fun with limericks and compete for Limerick of the Week. I’ve just posted a new Limerick-Off here: Gourmet Limerick.