Gourmet Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A fellow who loved fine cuisine…

or

A woman who loved fine cuisine…

Here’s mine:

Gourmet Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A fellow who loved fine cuisine
Thought non-gourmet dining obscene.
But he could not afford
The food he adored,
Which explains why that guy was so lean.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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64 Responses to “Gourmet Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Martin H says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine,
    Consumed a dodgy sardine.
    This gastric abuse
    Curdled his juice,
    Confining him to the latrine.

  2. A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    wouldn’t eat in the office canteen.
    The food tasted like shit
    and made the chap spit
    “Your cooking is really obscene.”

    A lady who loved haute cuisine
    refused to use margarine.
    To reduce her cholesteriol
    she cooked with pure vitrol
    and died saying merde au régime.

    A lady who loved fine cuisine
    – her name being Josephine –
    played on the virginals
    while stirring her olive oil.
    To her it was simply routine.

  3. oops! cholesterol!

  4. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A woman who loved fine cuisine,
    Was also incredibly mean;
    She said “I’ll eat mice,
    If I get them half price,
    Just so long as I know where they’ve been.”

  5. in a way i like your guy..he sticks to his opinion…smiles
    with me it’s the other way round…i’m quite satisfied with a bowl of oat flakes and don’t need necessarily lobster for breakfast…i like lobster though…smiles

  6. Geraldine says:

    Ahh…so that’s what it takes to stay lean! I like it Madelaine. Nice one.

    Happy Sunday dear!

    Take A Happy Break
    My Real Life Reviews

  7. Bodhirose says:

    Hi Madeleine–I enjoyed your cute limerick today and decided to join in again:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Even ate gourmet jelly beans
    With essence of truffle and caviar
    But his favorite by far, came out of a jar
    Sicilian-style pasta with sardines

  8. Mike Miller says:

    A woman who loved fine cuisine
    Thought her figure would never be seen.
    So she tried a Big Mac
    And has never looked back
    So that now she thinks fries are most keen!

  9. A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Cooked a dinner for Great Britain’s Queen
    It turned out her nibs
    Hated barbecued ribs
    So he blamed it on Ms. Paula Deen

  10. Jesse Levy says:

    A woman who loved fine cuisine
    had only one navy bean
    When the bean was ingested
    She couldn’t digest it
    and she made a noise quite obscene.

  11. I have been meaning to try this for quite awhile! Love your fun twist in the last line!

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Confronted his office canteen
    This lunch is a farce
    As low as witch grass
    And don’t soothe me with free caffeine

  12. Versebender says:

    Like yours , Mad. Here’s my shot:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Had a spread in a big magazine
    But the shoot turned out lewd
    ‘Cause he cooked in the nude
    Some utensils are best left unseen!

  13. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Aspired to be seen as lean.
    So he rode on his bike
    And went for a hike
    With champagne in his Boy Scout canteen.

  14. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    (So he claimed and was prone to preen).
    Why should it embarrass
    When posted to Paris
    And exposed to the best, he turned green?

  15. LBTL says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Spoke too much, always causing a scene
    Gruyere ma belle, not brie
    The best cheese for me
    Then I won’t sound so mean,

    I tried MBK :)
    This was my very first try at a limerick.
    Enjoy the potluck!

    on promises

  16. A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Would eat nothing that was colored green.
    A vegan he wasn’t
    A salad he wouldn’t….
    Of well-dressed dead animals he was dean.

  17. Victoria says:

    This is a fun one and I love the prompt. Got to work on this.

  18. Gary Chomiak says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    read about it in a fine food magazine.
    A little of this,
    and a little of that,
    and soon he passed time in the latrine.

  19. madkane says:

    I’m really enjoying these! Please keep them coming and cross-post them on my Facebook post if you’re active on Facebook. Thanks!

  20. earlybird says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    was, even so, getting quite mean.
    He was overheard saying
    he objected to paying
    as the prices were frankly obscene.

  21. sideview says:

    lol! i must remember to try this one

  22. Linkmeister says:

    A man who loved fine cuisine
    was favorably inclined toward poutine
    So he moved to Quebec
    In search of that dreck
    And his life turned entirely serene!

  23. A fellow who loved fine cuisine,
    in all the best bistros was seen.
    Of cost he’d not care,
    he so savored the fare,
    and always left his plate picked clean.

  24. Pat Hatt says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Couldn’t eat it because he’d get really mean
    He’d go on a spree
    Causing others to flee
    Leaving everything unclean

    Everytime he saw a plate
    He’d eat the cuisine at an alarming rate
    Once the last bit was through
    He’d snap and start robbing two by two
    Creating such hate

    He ended up in a bank
    With enough loot in hand to fill a tank
    As he was about to leave
    He started to grieve
    Knowing for this he’d walk the plank

    The affects of the cuisine were wearing thin
    So he dove in the nearest garbage bin
    Eating what leftovers he could grab
    Then hailing the nearest cab
    No longer caring about his newest sin

    With the law hot on his trail
    He jumped on the monorail
    Traveling far and wide
    Looking for a place to hide
    Where cuisine would come down like hail

    He ended up in a land so new
    It’s only been heard of by a few
    After a lengthy search
    He found no cuisine from any perch
    But was trapped in the place reminiscent of timbukto

  25. scott says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine,
    broke from his daily routine.
    Instead of French truffles,
    he pigged out on Ruffles,
    that came from a vending machine.

  26. Matty says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    created a dangerous scene
    his filet was undone
    so he pulled out a gun
    and shot up the ice cream machine

  27. Matty says:

    A woman who loved fine cuisine
    feasted like she was a queen
    consumed this and that
    until she was fat
    her weight is now grossly obscene

  28. Veralynne Pepper says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine,
    Liked hot bistros and making the scene
    But on weekdays, less busy,
    He’d go into a tizzy!
    And often kill an entire tureen.

    Soups and stews were his passion
    And always in fashion.
    Chefs, prideful of the art,
    Even more than the tart,
    Kept soup’s popularity from crashin’.

    Mullagatawney and pea
    Mushroom ‘n’ cheddar broc’li
    Chicken noodle, beef rice
    All of them nice
    But his favorite was minestrone

    But it’s spinach for me
    And it’ll always be
    With crab or chicken
    And sour cream to thicken
    No happier can I be!

  29. Granny Smith says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    when tipping was stingy and mean.
    “My custom is still
    Two percent of the bill.”
    The spit in his soup went unseen.

  30. Sally Franz says:

    A woman who loved cuisine,
    was hot for the gourmet scene.
    She ruffled through truffles,
    and trifled with mussels,
    yet her husband preferred pork and beans.

  31. J Sardo says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Used recipes from a chef’s magazine.
    To improve on the taste
    He used spices to baste
    And a sauce he called beef almondine.

  32. steve vitoff says:

    A woman who loved fine cuisine
    Would not use a vending machine
    At a Snickers she’d scoff
    M&M’s she’d brush off
    And with Twix bars would never be seen

  33. Food deprivation can play havoc with our mood!

    A woman who loved fine cuisine,
    Gave up struggling to keep herself lean.
    She finally said,
    “I’ll be thin when I’m dead…
    I’d much rather be chubby than mean”!

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Ate at meals, and all times in between.
    He soon grew so stout
    That his wife kicked him out,
    ‘Cause she’d promised “in good times and lean”!

  34. Sharon Harris says:

    A woman who loved fine cuisine
    Had a boyfriend whose taste was obscene
    His palate he’d murder
    With beans and frankfurter
    While his supper made HER face turn green.

  35. Steve Vitoff says:

    A woman who loved fine cuisine
    Was a soup lover since seventeen
    When they served two battalions
    Consommé laced with scallions
    She leapt right into the tureen

  36. Steve Vitoff says:

    A woman who loved fine cuisine
    Would share neither carb nor protein
    Why be such a pain?
    She’d simply explain:
    “I’m just regressing toward the mean”

  37. Steve Vitoff says:

    OOPS – USED ‘LOVE’ 2X – LET ME AMEND THE ABOVE PLEASE

    A woman who loved fine cuisine
    Was a soup connoisseur since nineteen
    When they served two battalions
    Consommé laced with scallions
    She leapt right into the tureen

  38. Haha you are just brilliant. I always smile visiting your page

  39. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your enthusiasm and your fun limericks. Please keep those limericks coming!

  40. Tracy K Cronin says:

    A woman who loved fine cousine
    decided to try not to be mean
    she gave vegan a try
    but could no longer deny
    distaste of curd from a bean

  41. A woman who loved fine cousine
    began writing of what she had seen
    tasting and telling
    praising and yelping
    the ever changing restaurant scene

  42. Tracy K Cronin says:

    A man who loved fine cousine
    also loved the fine places he’d been (s)
    He travelled high and low
    all over the gold coast
    pic nic’ing at mansions on their green

  43. shammi says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Always cleaned his teeth with fluorine,
    And every girl that he fed
    Spent the night in his bed.
    His secret? “Good oral hygiene”.

  44. Luke Prater says:

    hahahaha! @all of you, esp Vivienne Blake’s second. And Madeleine yours of course. Great thread

  45. Madeleine says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Thought barbecues rather obsence
    When approached by an Aussie
    In a polka-dot cozzie
    He quickly escaped from the scene

  46. Hee hee. This is pretty cute!!

  47. rachel says:

    I like both casual and fine cuisine… perhaps that’s why I’m NOT lean. Hehe. :)

  48. Victoria says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    was upset that his wife was too lean
    since he was the cook
    her oh-so-svelte look
    made it seem that his skills weren’t so keen.

  49. Johanna Richmond says:

    A woman who loved fine cuisine
    Was glued to her monitor screen
    Despite misdemeanors,
    That Anthony Weiner’s
    Namesake redefined the broad bean!

  50. Johanna Richmond says:

    Sorry — forgot the semicolon after “screen.”

  51. Johanna Richmond says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine,
    When served subpar supper, got mean;
    His waitress, fed up,
    Snarled, “Go elsewhere to sup,
    Sir, I’ve seen quite enough of your spleen!”

  52. Johanna Richmond says:

    The waitress has bad grammar but I think I still like this revised version better:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    When served subpar supper, got mean;
    His waitress, fed up,
    Snarled, “Go elsewhere to sup;
    Sir, our liver don’t merit your spleen!”

  53. Dr. Goose says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    And considered McDonald’s obscene
    Would roll up his eyes
    At their factory fries
    And computerized grilling machine.

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    From a ramekin, pot or terrine
    Would begin ev’ry day
    With a café au lait
    While preparing his crêpe amandine.

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    While camping with mujahedeen
    Would freshly bake scones
    While running from drones
    And filling up flasks with benzene.

  54. madkane says:

    Thanks so much for your fun limericks and kind words! And please keep those limericks coming!

  55. Tilly Bud says:

    Last week I posted the same limerick twice; this week I forgot to post it at all!

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Dined on a woman named Jean
    He’d to quickly select her,
    For Hannibal Lecter
    The state felt they really must wean

  56. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman who loved fine cuisine
    Was torn between lean and obscene-
    Ly plump: aah, each taste
    Went straight to her waist,
    So she alternates Fat days with Green.

  57. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Served for four years aboard submarine.
    Though non-foodwise, ’twas swell,
    Navy gravy was h*ll…
    So Stu Cooke ran the onboard canteen.

  58. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine
    Found “poor” cooking could turn him quite mean:
    Dates would quail, servers ran
    When the shouting began ~
    Only freebies brought peace to the scene.

  59. Granny Smith says:

    A woman who loved fine cuisine
    Was humble and not apt to preen.
    “I’m not choosy, for sure.
    If it’s good I want more
    And sometimes a wiener is keen.”

  60. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A woman who loved fine cuisine
    Was selected for Eat! Magazine;
    ‘Twas her chance to devour
    Plates of food by the hour
    ‘Til ~ not lean ~ she’d no longer be seen.

  61. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A fellow who loved fine cuisine,
    Years ago was a slim, handsome teen;
    Now bemoans each bite, glass:
    “It goes straight to my ass,”
    He complained, “I’m a once-thin has-been.”

  62. Ms Blayne says:

    A woman who loved fine cuisine
    Stared bitterly at a soybean.
    The chef was a vegan
    So what she was eatin’
    Was not the cuisine of her dreams.

  63. madkane says:

    Oh good! More fun limericks! Thanks, and please keep them coming!

  64. madkane says:

    This Limerick-Off is officially over and you can find the results here in the latest Limerick of the Week announcement. Congratulations to the winners and thanks to all of you for your delightful limericks!

    But the limerick writing fun isn’t over. A new Limerick-Off has already begun. I hope to see you all there!