Generous Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)

It’s Limerick-Off time, once again. And that means I write a limerick, and you write your own, using the same first line. Then you post your limerick here and, if you’re a Facebook user, on Facebook too.

The best submission will be crowned Limerick Of The Week. (Here’s last week’s Limerick Of The Week Winner plus the Honorable Mentions.)

How will your poems be judged? By meter, rhyme, and cleverness. (If you’re feeling a bit fuzzy about limerick writing rules, you can find some helpful resources listed here.)

I’ll announce the Limerick of the Week Winner right before I post next week’s Limerick-Off. So that gives you a full week to submit your clever, polished verse.

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A man who could never say “no”…


A gal who could never say “no”…

Here’s mine:

Generous Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man who could never say “no”
Was warned by his wife to go slow.
“Just what are you thinking?
Our bank account’s shrinking.
Stop giving away all our dough.”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity on my Facebook Limerick-Off post.

To receive an email alert whenever I post a new Limerick-Off, please send me an email requesting the alerts. You’ll find my email address on the upper right sidebar, in the “Author” section just below my Limerick-Offs button. Thanks!

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46 Responses to “Generous Limerick (Limerick-Off Monday)”

  1. Jesse Levy says:

    A gal who could never say no
    was popular, wouldn’t you know?
    Messers Richard and Oscar
    sought a new plot, sir
    so around her they wrote a whole show.

    (technically not true but what the hell)

  2. A man who could never say no
    had no safe place he could go
    when peddlers stopped by
    he was convinced to try
    everything the peddler would show.

  3. Rinkly Rimes says:

    A girl who just couldn’t say no
    Said ‘What me? I just go with the flow.
    If he’s got what it takes
    I don’t put on the brakes,
    And I’m thinking that I might turn pro.’

    A girl who just couldn’t say no
    Said ‘ Come on! Don’t be shy, Romeo!’
    She was eager to please
    Even on a trapeze!
    Which was great for the folk down below!

  4. A gal who could never say no
    quite often embarrassed her beau.
    Then, scoffed as a cuckold
    and his mind unbuckled,
    he delivered a murderous blow.

  5. Geraldine says:

    Good one Madeleine, brought a smile to my face.

    Wishing you a relaxing week, G :<)

  6. A man who could never say ‘No’,
    Wanted to buy a swanky Peugeot
    But filled with all rancor
    His wife bought his Banker
    Who placed all his dough as escrow.

    A gal who could never say ‘No’
    Was spotted in Monaco’s casino
    Playing Blackjack or poker
    No one could stop ‘er
    From Pachinko, Bingo or Keno.

  7. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Hey Santa, Can’t Ya?

    A gal who could never say “no”
    Thought her man was a bit of a ho
    Ho ho: asked her Santa,
    Say, Mae, did you plan ta
    Rub down half the deer? I must go!

    As Nick disappeared into the sky,
    Mae grabbed four large towels, gave a sigh.
    The elves were all clam’ring
    For dinner, and hamm’ring;
    She’d get to them all ~ by and by.

    Mae thought of her days as a dancer
    (Exotic): oh, she’d been a prancer!
    Before they were married,
    She, free, not so harried,
    Thought being Nick’s vixen the answer.

    Who knew that the freezing North Pole
    Would slowly win out, take its toll.
    She longed for Nick’s d*ck,
    Would perform ev’ry trick ~
    Reigniting their sex life her goal.

    Mae plotted and planned, and that night
    When Old Nick returned, set things right.
    Elves tucked in, deer were fed,
    She led Santa to bed ~
    Where they refound their mut’l delight.

  8. Tilly Bud says:

    A gal who could never say ‘no’
    Always had men on the go
    When her room mate asked ‘Why?’
    She replied, ‘I’d just die
    If this gift of mine came with no beau.’

  9. Jingle says:

    unbeatable humor.

  10. shammi says:

    A man who could never say “no”
    Wanted to stage a one-man show.
    Asked by the director: “Can you sing?”
    He lied: “Why, sure thing!”
    Sang a note – and got the ol’ heave-ho.


    A gal who could never say “no”
    Was upset at being called a “ho”.
    Said she sadly: “It’s not nice
    To be asked my price
    By all my potential beaux.”

  11. A girl who could never say no
    married ten at a time, doncher know.
    Polyandry her crime,
    she had to do time.
    It was worth it, she loved ’em all so.

  12. A gal who could never say no
    Married Henry David Thoreau
    When the outgoing blond
    Saw sedate Walden Pond
    She said, “Hank, I thought you had dough!”

  13. shammi says:

    Slight change to the first one:

    A man who could never say “no”

    Wanted to stage a one-man show.

    Asked by the director: “Can you sing?”

    He coolly lied, “Why, sure thing!”

    One note, tho’ – and he got the ol’ heave-ho.

  14. Pat Hatt says:

    A man who could never say “no”
    Was asked to put on a show
    He pulled down his pants
    Did a dance
    Shaking his behind to and fro

  15. hansi says:

    A man who could never say “no”
    Went to a massage parlor, don’t ya know
    They laid him on his back
    Commenced to give him a whack
    And when he left his face was all aglow.

  16. Haha this is awesome! You are the master of limericks

  17. earlybird says:

    A gal who could never say “no”
    decided her man had to go;
    the ‘three times a night’
    he claimed was his right
    now left her with no after-glow.

  18. scott says:

    A man who could never say no,
    to pork chops and raw cookie dough,
    made me whisper “Oh, Lord,”
    when he wobbled on board,
    “I hope he don’t sit in my row.”

  19. Nara Malone says:

    Funny. I enjoyed reading all the responses too.

  20. Ira Bloom says:

    A man who could never say “no”
    Bought some toilets at ten grand a throw
    And some ships at a billion
    An air force (five trillion)
    It’s your tax money; thought you should know.

  21. Dr. Goose says:

    A man who could never say no
    To the urges that came from below
    Was finally defeated,
    When thousands retweeted
    His self-composed, solo tableau.

  22. sideview says:

    i tried and tried, but the muse was off elsewhere

  23. He’s generous, anyway….

    A girl who could never say no
    Went out with every guy named Joe
    She had a bad rep
    But then she caught strep
    And that girl was no longer a ho.

  24. Johanna Richmond says:

    A man who could never say no
    Frenetically dashed to and fro;
    With a mistress and wife
    He had double the strife
    Kissing two butts – a tough row to hoe.

  25. Johanna Richmond says:

    Mad, thanks for the help untangling my last line! Now I realize it reads better without the semicolon at the end of the fourth line too but ehh–not worth another delete!

    Note from Mad Kane: Johanna, you’re very welcome! (I deleted that semicolon for you.)

  26. Kim Nelson says:

    Oh dear! That man could be me~!

  27. madkane says:

    Thanks so much everyone for your enthusiasm and your fun limericks! And please keep those limericks coming!

  28. Johanna Richmond says:

    Thank you again, Mad — this time for the semicolonectomy:)

  29. A man who could never say no
    didn’t know where he could go
    after spending his money
    on a beautiful honey
    he heard that his dear wife did know

  30. Johanna Richmond says:

    A gal who could never say no
    Grew bored with her one woman show . . .
    Her mate found her in bed
    In a T-shirt that read:
    “No more favors without quid pro quo!”

  31. Johanna Richmond says:

    Ugh, nix the “a” in line 2 — sorry, it’s been a real do-over day.

    Note from Mad Kane: Done.

  32. scott says:

    very funny, Johanna! You wouldn’t know where she bought that shirt do you? And does it come in men’s sizes?

  33. A gal who could never say, “no”
    Met a guy who could never say, “whoa”
    She went faster and faster
    – He couldn’t outlast her
    She looked down and cried, “Aw, Joe!”

  34. Daisy Mae says:

    Cleverness abounds from all posts! Always fun reads, here, Mad. Thanks for your wit, humor and for the weekly LIMERICK OFFs!

    A man who could never say no
    Lost his job as a cop- What a blow!
    Yet the war on drugs said
    “Just say NO!” but instead
    His affirmative action brought woe

  35. Mike Miller says:

    A man who could never say no
    Is a fool as we all do know.
    He spends his life dizzy
    From being so busy
    And will most likely end on skid row.

  36. Mike Miller says:

    A man who could never say no
    Does whatever you ask him and so,
    Go borrow his car
    And his big fat cigar
    Then go back and ask him fo’ mo’!

  37. Mike Miller says:

    A man who could never say no
    Will call you and tell you his woe.
    So listen a while
    But then, with a smile,
    Just ask him to give you his dough!

  38. scott says:

    A gal who could never say no,
    is a gal on a fantasy show,
    or a make believe queen,
    in a skin magazine.
    I learned that a long time ago

  39. A.B. Thomas says:

    A man who could never say “no”
    Let his wife get herself a little beau
    The reason of course
    Was so he could file for divorce
    Without losing any of his dough

  40. A gal who could never say no,
    Soon resembled a large mound of dough.
    So much did she eat,
    She lost track of her feet
    And now rolls to where e’er she need go!

  41. A man who could never say no,
    spent his money on hookers and blow.
    He claimed he was winning
    while his prospects were dimming,
    oh Charlie, we all told you so.

  42. madkane says:

    Please keep your fun limericks coming. Thanks very much!

  43. A man who could never say no
    To the face of a frolicking doe
    Lost his wife and his kids
    For some fun in the skids
    That’s until he runs out of dough!

  44. Johanna Richmond says:

    Scott– just saw your comment. You could probably get one of those T-shirts made up at cafepress:)

  45. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A man who could never say “no”
    Saw his income become an outflow.
    He was given to givin’ ~
    No Bill Gates, but driven;
    His WIFE whined, “Where does it all go?!”

    He smiled, “Hon, you know I’m a pastor,
    And God will provide if disaster
    Should strike.” She retorted,
    “What drug have you snorted?”
    (He couldn’t get anything past her.)

  46. madkane says:

    Thanks again to all of you for your delightful limericks. This Limerick-Off is now over and you can find out who won Limerick of the Week here.

    But no need to feel disappointed if you didn’t win, cuz a new Limerick-Off has just begun: Fiery Limerick