Operatic Limerick

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

An eccentric soprano named Brett…

Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a three-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Operatic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

An eccentric soprano named Brett
Auditioned to sing at the Met.
Her Lucia was bad,
So the maestro got mad
And attempted to throw her off set.

She screamed, “You do not know the score.
I was meant to perform Lammermoor.
The problem’s your flute,
And my voice is a beaut!
Your reviewers will call me top drawer.”

“You shall never perform on this stage,”
The conductor replied, red with rage.
“Your coloratura
Is missing bravura.
And your farts! You belong in a cage!”

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Related Post: Guide To The Opera Impaired

UPDATE: Opera Day is February 8.

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21 Responses to “Operatic Limerick”

  1. steve vitoff says:

    An eccentric soprano named brett
    Was hopelessly burdened by debt
    So to help make ends meet
    She took to the street
    But twelve bucks was all she could get

  2. Carroll says:

    An eccentric soprano named Brett
    used to keep his falsetto quite wet
    when asked as to why
    he said it’s better then dry
    And he went off to sing at the Met

  3. Sally Franz says:

    An eccentric soprano named Brett
    Was out back for a cigarette
    This made her voice hoarse
    The performance was coarse
    Think puff pastry with vinaigrette

  4. An eccentric soprano named Brett
    had his audition there at the Met
    with a gay libretto
    sung in loud falsetto
    with some nuts, He’d sound better yet

  5. Jesse Levy says:

    An eccentric soprano named Brett
    Took on a very strange bet
    They wanted to see
    If she could hit a high G
    She did and said “You ain’t heard nothin’ yet.”

  6. An eccentric soprano named Brett
    died after long years at the Met.
    They found him castrata
    for balls he had nada,
    but he was the best Mezzo yet.

  7. I would not have you think I am obsessed with organs.

  8. madkane says:

    LOL! These are fun! Please keep them coming!

  9. Linkmeister says:

    An eccentric soprano named Brett
    Was all hail-fellow well-met
    Until his voice tried to reach
    An impossible speech
    “Can’t be done on a bet!”

  10. Libby says:

    An eccentric soprano named Brett
    Traveled in a private jet
    When he got to La Scala
    Met a sweet signorina
    And hasn’t left Italy yet

  11. Dr. Goose says:

    An eccentric soprano named Brett
    Thought he’d sing ev’ry role at the Met,
    From Bizet to Rossini,
    Wagner, Verdi, Puccini,
    And those whom you’ve not heard of yet.

  12. K Bhattacharya says:

    An eccentric soprano named Brett
    As the culprit she had obviously not met,
    Of making errors in treble clef
    A mistake too loud, for Brett was a little deaf
    So the matter was resolved in masculine epithet!

    But the soprano was a little wild- she would get
    At all males, but on Brett her heart was really set
    She would someday amplify
    A middle C to decibels rather high
    She would toot with her flute into the ears of Brett

    And Brett discovered the soprano played a fandango
    And clapped her hands to say ay ay ay ah ho sol le mi do
    And the choir ladies raised their petticoats
    And tapped their feet on glass floats
    And they went tapitty tapitty clapitty clapitty on their toe

    Alas, the soprano hired a guy with a megawatt amplifier
    And encouraged him with amorous advances, highly improper
    Desire, and asked him “O lover ping the tuning fork
    And up the master volume control eh, Meestere York”
    Whereupon the glass in the window pane flew off somewhere

    So the soprano was without a house- the amplified sound
    Had blown off the owner of the gadget, never to be found
    And Brett was grinning and singing
    In erroneous tones and bringing
    Cacophony to the ears of the soprano’s home now dashed to the ground!

  13. Steve Vitoff says:

    An eccentric soprano named Brett
    Was dating the first clarinet
    When he moistened his reed
    He’d play nicely indeed
    Until all of their woes they’d forget

  14. Steve Vitoff says:

    An eccentric soprano named Brett
    Would never break out in a sweat
    With scissors she’d run
    Until day was done
    Then spend nights playing Russian roulette

  15. Ellen Garneau says:

    An eccentric soprano named Brett,
    Found he really need not fret,
    Since his voice was so high,
    Wore a skirt, not a tie,
    And fooled all the folks at the fete.

  16. KB says:

    Eeeks! It’s Lizzie Soprano Brett

    An eccentric soprano named Brett
    Had adopted a pizza as her stand-in pet
    Her mind was on too many things
    Including off-key piano strings
    She partly ate her sauced over cheese-spread!

    But leftovers of her pizza were NOT given to the wall lizard
    Thus eagerly watching the chomping of the pizza on guard
    But Miss Brett was playing the piano
    The lizard could barely afford to say slurp, oh,
    Impatient- he bit on the pizza, without a courteous “I beg your pard”

    So when Missus Brett upon her former pet gazed
    She was shocked, nay, mightily, dreadfully fazed
    To see the said wall lizard
    On the dinner plate pizzard
    And with a swipe of her palm swept the offender, enraged

    Thus, dear readers, be it known that Miss Brett
    A drooling tongue upon her daintily laid dinner set
    Opts now for eating the wall crawler
    And is occasionally known to holler
    In glee and ask for lizzie pizzie on her plate!

  17. Mark Kane says:

    An eccentric soprano named Brett
    Was working at that evening’s Fete.
    He must sing as you dine
    And enjoy your fine wine,
    Until he has paid off his debt.

  18. madkane says:

    I’m really enjoying these. Please keep them coming and, if you’re on Facebook, post them there as well. Thanks!

  19. Catherine says:

    An eccentric soprano named Brett
    Quite enjoyed a “hand-rolled cigarette”
    But in burst the fuzz
    They ruined his buzz
    Now his weed he must feed the toilet.

  20. Swisstoons says:

    An eccentric soprano named Brett
    Was a hoary old opera vet.
    She knew Mozart, Puccini,
    Massenet and Rossini
    Each of whom she’d the pleasure to have met!

  21. An eccentric soprano named Brett
    Always wore panties on set.
    He begged for a spanking,
    Then started to wanking,
    Got caned, hit his highest note yet.