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Madeleine Begun Kane,
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NOTABLES WEBLOG & PODCASTS (July-September 2005)


Madeleine Begun Kane
 
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Here's where I archive my July-September 2005 Notables Weblog posts and podcasts. For my most recent blog postings and audio files, click here. And please don't forget to check out my other political humor and my media humor, legal humor, marriage and family humor, holiday humor, technology humor, feminist humor, money humor, car humor, education humor, health humor, pet and animal humor, work humor, travel humor, and humor about my hometown, New York City.

September 29, 2005 (It's Another Bush Crisis -- Audio Version Is Here)

  • During the past week, I've read a slew of posts and columns about our newly "de-swaggerfied" (shouldn't that be a word?) President. Here's how I'd sum up Bush (and Rove's) post-Katrina angst:

    It's Another Bush Crisis
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    It's another Bush crisis,
    And day after day,
    Dub's stooges are spinning,
    While Bush says, "let's pray."

    He is not on vacation.
    He's handling affairs.
    We know that from photos
    That show Dubya cares.

    Bush's numbers are tumbling.
    It's clear that he's failed.
    But Karl is determined
    To Dub un-derail.

    So we'll keep hearing speeches
    That try to shirk blame,
    And win back the voters,
    Who fell for Dub's game.

    But for once it ain't working.
    The scam's falling flat.
    Most voters have noticed
    That Dub's a spoiled brat.

    © September 29, 2005 Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.

  • If you'd like to listen to the audio version of this post, just click here. And if you'd like to subscribe to my podcast feed, here it is.

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September 28, 2005 (Tom DeLay Indictment Haiku; Tom DeLay Song Parody Revisited)

  • I sure hope this haiku isn't premature:

    DeLay's indictment.
    Long awaited by lib'rals.
    The delay's over.

    In any event, revisiting my Ode To Tom DeLay song parody, which I wrote last March, seems appropriate. Here's how it begins:

    Ode To Tom DeLay (Sing to "To All The Girls I've Loved Before")
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    A Rep whose name is Tom DeLay,
    He breaks the rules most ev'ry day.
    He don't respect the law,
    Thinks ethics are a bore.
    'Tis time to show him crime don't pay.

    Tom practices dishonesty.
    Ignores the law with joy and glee.
    Misused the FBI,
    Golf junkets on the sly,
    How 'bout we stop his crim'nal spree...

    ( The entire Ode To Tom DeLay song parody is here.)

    Update: Tom DeLay Indictment Haiku updated to change question mark to period and to include more current links.

    Update 2: I'm tickled to report that my DeLay Haiku has has inspired Roxanne to hold the "First Annual Rox Pop 'Tom Delay Haiku Slam.'" So what are you waiting for? Head over to Rox Pop and get your haiku entries in.

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September 26, 2005 (Why Bother? Here's Why: -- Audio Version Is Here)

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September 19, 2005 (Rebuilder-in-Chief -- Audio Version Is Here)

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September 14, 2005 (Two Judge John Roberts Limericks -- Audio Version Is Here)

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September 14, 2005 (Bloggers Speak, Part 2 of 2 -- Audio Mini-Interviews With Lefty Bloggers)

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September 12, 2005 (Bloggers Speak, Part 1 of 2 -- Audio Mini-Interviews With Lefty Bloggers)

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September 8, 2005 (A Trio of FEMA Limericks -- Audio Version Is Here)

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August 31, 2005 (Bush 404 Error -- Bush Not Found In Crawford)

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August 29, 2005 (Two Crackpot Pats and Bush Vacation Humor -- Audio Version Is Here)

  • Once again, I have to apologize for my lack of updates. Family obligations continue to eat up most of my time. But I'm happy to report that I've finally mustered up a new batch of political poems: two limericks about a pair of our country's Crackpot Pats, Pat Robertson and Pat Boone; and a poem and haiku about Bush's extended vacation and his summer reading list:

    A Broadcasting Preacher Named Pat
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    A broadcasting preacher named Pat,
    Who quite frequently talks through his hat,
    Seems to think it's God's will
    That we Prez Chavez kill.
    Then we'll take all his oil, and that's that.

    There Once Was A Man Named Pat Boone
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    There once was a man named Pat Boone,
    A quite wholesome non-rocker who crooned.
    Now he's spouting hot air,
    Slamming folks anti-guerre.
    Are all fellows named Pat crazy loons?

    Reader Dub
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Who cares what Dubya claims to read:
    The history of salt?
    Plus tomes on flu and Alex II
    What nonsense! Oy Gevalt!

    Bush Vacation Haiku
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Bush on vacation.
    So can you tell the diff'rence?
    DC less toxic.

  • If you'd like to listen to the audio version of this post, just click here. And if you'd like to subscribe to my podcast feed, here it is.

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August 14, 2005 (Ode To Cindy Sheehan -- Audio Version Is Here)

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August 9, 2005 (Bolton and Novak and Bush, Oh My! -- Audio Version Is Here)

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July 28, 2005 (War? What War? -- Audio Version Is Here)

  • I've finally figured out why the Bush administration didn't bother to properly equip our soldiers in Iraq: We're not fighting a war -- we're in a "struggle." And who needs body armor and armored vehicles for a measly struggle?

    I'm referring to Bush's latest sloganeering effort, giving the "global war on terror" a spanking new name: "global struggle against violent extremism." And that brings me to my latest poem, War? What War?

    War? What War?
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    The war on terror's going bad,
    So what's a Prez to do?
    He simply calls it something else.
    The "struggle" has debuted.

    Bush starts a war without a plan.
    A needless war, to boot.
    And when it fails, his course is clear:
    Just name it something cute.

    Dub's PR folks work overtime.
    Their mission's crystal-clear:
    To alter views with words, not deeds.
    Orwellian days are here.

    Instead of Bush disinfo moves,
    The truth would be quite nice.
    But honesty we'll never hear
    From Bush or Condi Rice.

    For some fine commentary on the war on terror's name change, check out PMCarpenter, Agitprop (via OneGoodMove,) and The Moderate Voice (via Skippy.)

  • If you'd like to subscribe to my podcast feed, here it is. And if you'd like to listen to the audio version of this post, just click here.

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July 25, 2005 (Working Stiffed -- Audio Version Is Here)

  • As AmericaBlog points out, last week was a brutal week for jobs, with huge job cut reports from HP, Kodak, and Kimberly-Clark, plus news that Ford is "considering" cutting 10,500 jobs. So it seems like a good time to post (and record) my humorous how-to about job hunting, Working Stiffed:

    Working Stiffed
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Finding a new job can be a daunting challenge. But if you follow my simple 21-step plan, you'll soon be battling cranky alarm clocks, rush-hour traffic, and the "living for the weekend" daily grind.

    1. Lose job.

    2. Panic, freak out, and turn into a pulsating blob of hysteria. CAUTION: It's best to do this at home -- you'll be wanting that reference.

    3. Torture everyone you've ever met with your tale of woe. Bitch about your former boss, your boss' boss, your lousy luck, the manipulative coworker who stole your job, the economy, and, of course, the world as we know it. Seriously consider buying a voodoo doll.

    4. Perfect the art of sleeping late, parading about in slatternly garb, and doing absolutely nothing. Tell your spouse you spent the entire week working on your resume. When spouse says "Let me have a look," say you're still fine-tuning it.

    5. Start working on resume...

    The rest of my Working Stiffed is here.

  • If you'd like to subscribe to my podcast feed, here it is. Or if you'd like to go directly to the MP3 of this podcast, it's right here.

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July 20, 2005 (Moot Court Limerick and other Supreme Court Shenanigans -- Audio Version Is Here)

  • I've been duped. Everything I read Tuesday afternoon about Bush's then upcoming prime time address, convinced me that George Bush would be naming Judge Edith Clement to replace Justice O'Connor on the U.S. Supreme Court. And I was far from the only lefty who expected Judge Clement to be Bush's choice. Of course, I'm probably the only one who wrote the decoy judge a limerick.

    I was planning to delete my Clement verse, but I figure I'll share it with you instead. Cause why waste a decent, albeit moot, limerick?

    Moot Court Limerick
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Edith Clement, a New Orleans jurist,
    Is a hard right-wing, fed'ralist purist.
    As O'Connor's replacement,
    She'd be a debasement.
    Let's reduce her to Washington tourist.

    Since I was reading about the wrong candidate all day, I don't know much about Judge John Roberts, Bush's real nominee. But I wouldn't let a little thing like that stop me from versifying:

    Prime Time Distraction
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    In an effort at changing the subject,
    From Bush staffers like Rove who are suspect,
    Dub on prime time proclaimed
    That he's John Roberts named.
    If you like right-wing judges, he's perfect.

    Ode To O'Connor
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    There once was a Justice O'Connor,
    The first Sup Court Judge called "Her Honor."
    Now O'Connor's resigned,
    Putting Dems in a bind.
    At least Rehnquist is still not a goner.

  • If you'd like to subscribe to my podcast feed, here it is. Or if you'd like to go directly to the MP3 of this podcast, it's right here.

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July 1, 2005 (Warrior Dub's Anthem -- Song Parody Audio Version Is Here)

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June 27, 2005 (Two Limericks plus Blog Soirée Song Parody Audio Version Is Here)

  • On Friday night, hubby Mark and I attended a delightful blogger bash at Julia's. Fun was had by all, although I must disclose that the guest of honor and another guest had suspiciously French-sounding names. Nonetheless, I think our fête deserves its own song parody lyrics, which I will get to in a moment. But first, two limericks:

    Some Say That Karl Rove Should Apologize
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Some say that Karl Rove should apologize,
    Cause he slandered the Dems with derisive lies.
    Will he yield? I think not.
    Cause his speech was a plot
    To distract us from failure and war unwise.

    Bush And Cheney Send Soldiers To War
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Bush and Cheney send soldiers to war,
    With protection that's far worse than poor.
    They drive Humvees unarmed,
    Causing death and much harm.
    Then Karl claims peacenik Dems caused the gore.

  • And now, the song parody lyrics you've all been waiting for, which you can sing to Winter Wonderland, using this midi link.

    Blog Soireé Song Parody (Sing To Winter Wonderland)
    By Madeleine Begun Kane

    Michael posed, Julia fêted,
    While Elayne, Mike's scar vetted.
    A wonderful time,
    We had Friday night,
    At a Queens, New Yorker's blog soirée.

    Nielsen Haydens graced the party.
    So did Robin, Seth, and Lindsay.
    A wonderful time,
    We had Friday night,
    At a Queens, New Yorker's blog soirée.

    Julia's husband cooked and grilled up chicken.
    And her charming daughter picked fresh fruit.
    Chatter touched on all but Michael Milken.
    And everybody had a laugh-filled hoot.

    Later on, street fare beckoned.
    Honeyed treats, Greek, I reckon.
    An ethnic food time, we had Friday night,
    At a Queens, New Yorker's blog soirée.

    Scott Lemieux came and Randy.
    All had fun! Ain't that dandy?
    A wonderful time,
    We had Friday night,
    At a Queens, New Yorker's blog soirée.

    Wives and husbands attended.
    No one wanted us to end it.
    But leave that repast,
    We did at long last.
    Festive Queens, New Yorker's blog soirée.

    New York lib'ral bloggers we have plenty.
    When we gather, we sure have a blast.
    Maybe we are not the cognoscenti.
    But when it comes to fun, we're unsurpassed.

    I can't wait, for the next one.
    We'll again, meet in person.
    But till that takes place,
    We'll meet in blog space.
    In our lib'ral bloggers wonderland.

    © June 27, 2005 Madeleine Begun Kane. All Rights Reserved.

    (If you're interested in a different set of lyrics to the same melody, you can find Weblog Wonderland here.)

  • If you'd like to subscribe to my podcast feed, here it is. Or if you'd like to go directly to the MP3 of this podcast, it's right here.

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June 23, 2005 (The Doctor Turned Senator Bill -- Limerick -- Audio Version Is Here)

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June 21, 2005 (Cheney's Last Throes -- Song Parody -- Audio Version Is Here)

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