Pompous Limerick

I hope you’ll join me in writing a limerick with this first line:

A pompous conductor named Clyde…

Here’s the limerick I wrote with that line. (It’s a two-verser, but a standard one-verse limerick is fine, of course.)

Pompous Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A pompous conductor named Clyde
Was worshipped by fans far and wide.
But his beat was unclear
And he had a bad ear,
So the orchestra cheered when he died.

I suppose such behavior is rude
And betrays an extremely bad ‘tude.
But I can not abide
Bad conductors like Clyde
Whose conducting deserves to be booed.

Please feel free to write your own limerick using the same first line and post it in my comments. And if you’re on Facebook, I hope you’ll join my friends in that same activity in my Limerick-Offs.

Note: I have lots more music humor here.

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26 Responses to “Pompous Limerick”

  1. Linkmeister says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    collected tickets for every ride
    He garnered no fame
    Neither did he have shame
    In fact he oft’ glowed with pride.

  2. madkane says:

    LOL!, Rob, I supposed Claude does sound more like a conductor’s name. :)

  3. Jesse Levy says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Never lost his musical stride
    When he raised his baton
    He was always right on
    So why does he act so damned snide?

  4. A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Threw caution to the wind
    As he revved the train engine:
    Unfortunately his plan was derailed,
    As everyone on board died.

  5. Dr. Goose says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Made asides to the woodwinds so snide,
    That they made their ire known
    With a blast that was blown
    In unison from each backside.

  6. K Bhattacharya says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde…
    Loved to have his dinner along side
    But when he waved his baton
    He invariably sat on
    And so the mayonnaise stuck to his hide

  7. A pompous conductor named Clyde,
    got paid to endorse Astro-glide
    A single fellow, a loner
    used the lube on his trom-boner
    and was known by ladies worldwide.

  8. Steve Bumgarner says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Chose a diet that left him quite wide.
    “Forte” caused his pant’s rip
    from hip to hip
    After which he had nothing to hide.

  9. Peter Metrinko says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Twas lightning, and all ran inside
    Save Clyde, who, the dolt
    Was hit by a bolt
    And was in an instant fried.

  10. A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Let lightning hit his blind side,
    Before he went dark,
    He passed out some sparks
    Ben Franklin’s ghost smiles with pride.

  11. Marla says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Longed for a nubile young bride
    After wedding his princess
    She demanded redress
    Saying, “cash only or you’ll be denied.”

  12. A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Said “I fear you may not come inside,”
    As a thug with a chain
    Started boarding the train.
    Now he’s looking for somewhere to hide.

  13. A pompous conductor named Clyde
    beat his wife and she quickly died
    Guilty the police said
    you sure made her dead
    and for this, Clyde was tried and fried.

  14. A pompous conductor named Clyde,
    in a rainstorm, ventured outside
    one short lightning flash
    turned dumb Clyde to ash,
    such a conductor his wife cried.

  15. A pompous conductor named Clyde,
    said “I’m best” of those you have tried”
    but the first violin
    said your lying is sin,
    and you, sir, have certainly lied!

  16. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Was a startling three-fourths tall as wide:
    As he crossed narrow aisles,
    Folks with snickers and smiles
    Rudely urged him to show his “best” side

  17. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Saw each day pretty girls that he eyed:
    After stamping each ticket
    He would furtively stick it
    Down his pants: as a keepsake, he sighed…

  18. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Dated Bonnie (all joking aside);
    He, a bit of a prankster,
    Liked to dress as a gangster
    And attempt to rob banks on the side.

    Bonnie learned of his on-off success
    (Smoother heists left no blood, muck, or mess);
    Now o’erseeing each raid,
    Her ring’s premium grade:
    They rake in more than one’d ever guess.

    So Clyde meekly conducts trains by day,
    And each weekend the pair go away
    To the seashore, the coast
    Where he’ll pompously boast
    Of HIS Bonnie: a legend, they’ll say…

  19. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Had a mean streak at least nine miles wide:
    Before stamping each ticket
    He’d bark, “Sir, you must lick it –
    Now, shake it ’til dry on each side!”

    But a young boy observed this behavior
    And, determined to be patrons’ savior,
    When Clyde reached for his ticket
    Exclaimed, “Don’t have us lick it
    ‘Til it’s stamped: it’ll have far more flavor.”

  20. Patrice of the ManyCats says:

    Unsure how to write
    Bawdy haiku: violates
    Creators’ intent

    But in days ahead
    {Mad Kane endorses attempts}
    May be so inspired…

  21. Veralynne says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Took tickets, what else had he tried?
    With uniform just so and pristine
    He married his fiance, Christine
    And honeymooned by train with his bride.

  22. Veralynne says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Took music detractors in stride
    To comments he’d listen well
    But think, “There’s no way in hell
    I’d let them put a crack in my pride.”

  23. Veralynne says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Was overtaken by unshakable pride
    When folks thought him funny
    He thought of the money
    Then laughed so hard he cried.

  24. Fox says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Was as punctual as he was wide,
    But then once, sharp at four,
    He got stuck in the door,
    And that train journey punctured his pride.

  25. Mark MyWord says:

    A pompous conductor named Clyde
    Had an ego bigger than his belly was wide,
    To gain office, he conducted a grand swindle,
    This nature got exposed, and his popularity did dwindle,
    How delightfull Clyde! The voters only got a short ride.

  26. madkane says:

    Thanks again everyone for your delightful limericks!