Archive for February, 2016

Christie’s Trump Endorsement: A Limerick Explanation

Friday, February 26th, 2016

Cads who covet the top Justice job,
Will endorse any vile, nasty slob,
Whose Oval campaign’s
Making gains, which explains
Why Trump’s been endorsed by “The Blob.”

Open Limerick To Mitch McConnell

Wednesday, February 24th, 2016

Dear Mitch, you must stop the obstruction
And your anti-Obama production.
A new Justice is needed.
It’s time that you heeded
Your duties. You MUST all this muck shun.

Open Limerick To The GOP

Sunday, February 21st, 2016

You’re the “Party of Trump,” GOP.
You created this monster, with glee.
All that bile you can’t sate
Is your fault — the mad state
Of your base — spoon-fed hate at your knee.

Trump Boos The RNC (Limerick)

Monday, February 15th, 2016

Methinks Trump is worried that his recent boo-riddled debate performance bodes badly for his chances in Saturday’s South Carolina primary.

Why? Because he’s now claiming that the RNC broke its pledge to stay neutral in the race, and that this voids his promise not to run as a third-party candidate:

‘The (Republican National Committee) is in default,’ Trump said during a news conference at the Hanahan Town Hall on Monday. ‘When somebody is in default, that means the other side can [do] what they have to do.’

The RNC’s broken its pledge,
Complained Trump, who is clearly on edge
About Saturday’s vote.
Though he’s hoping to gloat,
He’s preemptively starting to hedge:

My no-independent-run vow
Is null and is void as of now
Cuz the RNC failed
To stay neutral, he railed.
To the party, I just might say “Ciao!”

Pot, Meet Kettle (Limerick)

Sunday, February 14th, 2016

Says Rubio: “Cruz is a liar.”
I concur: Cruz’s pants are on fire.
But Ted’s hardly alone;
GOPers are prone
To eschew any truth in their choir.

The State of the Republican Race (Limerick)

Thursday, February 11th, 2016

We’ve three Js in the race: Jeb, Jim, John.
(Bush and Gilmore and Kasich ain’t gone.)
Sleepy Ben, Grumpy Trump,
Cruz, and Marco still stump,
As the GOP con game drones on.

Limerick Ode To Chris “Suicide Bomber” Christie

Wednesday, February 10th, 2016

Although Marco’s been weakened by Chris,
Chris Christie’s not feeling the bliss.
For while mauling that pup
Christie blew himself up;
His reward in New Hampshire? Big diss!

A Not-So-Fond Farewell to Carly Fiorina (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 10th, 2016

Carly’s gone from the race. I won’t miss her.
Though of course if it’s apt, I’ll still diss her.
And I hope she’ll embrace
Someone else in this race…
Cuz I’d love to see Donald Trump kiss her.

7 Candidates In 5 Lines (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 9th, 2016

Marco Rubio’s rather robotic.
Carly lies, and Jeb Bush seems neurotic.
Then there’s Carson, a snooze,
Bully Christie, vile Cruz,
And the narcissist: Trump “the Despotic.”

Open Limerick To Jeb Bush

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2016

When you’re giving a speech, my dear chap,
And you’re forced to ask people, “please clap,
That is sadder than sad.
Your campaign’s beyond bad.
Put a cap on your race. It’s a wrap!

Trump Trumped In Iowa (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 2nd, 2016

I’m certain “The Donald” is mad.
He’s a “LOSER” to Cruz, and I’d add,
More embarrassing yet
Is his delegate net;
It did NOT exceed Marco’s. Poor lad!

Yes, not only did Cruz beat Trump by 3.3 percent, but Marco Rubio was only 1.2 percent behind Trump, tying him in terms of delegate yields:

Ted Cruz’s victory in the Iowa caucuses means he’ll collect eight delegates to the Republican National Convention.

Donald Trump and Marco Rubio each get seven from the opening contest in the 2016 presidential race.