Posts Tagged ‘Attorney General’

Open Letter To Donald Trump

Friday, November 18th, 2022

Dear Donald:

Congrats on your 2nd very personal Special Counsel.

What a shame that THIS TIME, you don’t have an AG willing and eager to lie about his report.

Barr Pens A Limerick

Thursday, February 13th, 2020

Dear Donald, your tweets make me look
Like your lapdog; my staffers are shook.
So stop! I’m not kidding.
Cuz doing your bidding
Is hard when I look like a schnook.

Trump’s Fixer (Bill Barr) Does It Again (2-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, February 11th, 2020

Two-Verse Limerick for Dueling Headlines:

Headline 1: “Trump Denounces Proposed Sentence for Roger Stone”

Headline 2: “Justice Department undercuts own prosecutors on Trump ally Stone’s sentencing”

The dictator’s at it once more,
Ably aided by Barr; ev’ry chore
Donald orders, Barr does
Why’s he do it? Becuz
They’re both scoundrels and vile to their core.

Barr forgets he’s our nation’s AG,
That his oath’s NOT to Donald, you see,
So when Donald Trump tweeted
That Stone’s been mistreated,
Fixer-Barr fulfills Donald’s decree.

Unconstitutional Stench of Whitaker Appointment (Limerick)

Monday, November 19th, 2018

Headline: “Senate Democrats Sue to Block Whitaker Appointment”

Will a judge block Matt Whitaker’s rise
To Acting A.G.? I surmise
His appointment’s unlawful–
Unspeakably awful…
But just fine in Trump-bootlicker eyes.

Limerick Ode To Memory-Challenged Jeff Sessions

Saturday, June 17th, 2017

Jeff Sessions repeats his old song,
As if deep in the throes of a bong:
“Can’t remember,” he’ll drawl.
But he’ll somehow recall
That he’s NEVER done anything wrong.

Trump’s Russian Blues (Limerick)

Sunday, March 5th, 2017

Trump was having a rather good week this past week … until he wasn’t.

So, what ruined Trump’s Congressional address high? No, NOT being wiretapped by Obama. That’s just some shit Trump made up and threw up on Twitter.

No, here’s what REALLY angered Trump: Attorney General Jeff Sessions having to recuse himself from the Russia investigation, because he lied under oath regarding his own Russian contacts. Hence, my limerick:

Trump’s dismayed, overwrought, feeling frayed;
He’d been waiting for Sessions to aid
Him with Russia, and thought
That a fixer’d been bought.
Jeff’s recusal has nixed that charade.

Christie’s Trump Endorsement: A Limerick Explanation

Friday, February 26th, 2016

Cads who covet the top Justice job,
Will endorse any vile, nasty slob,
Whose Oval campaign’s
Making gains, which explains
Why Trump’s been endorsed by “The Blob.”

Limerick Ode To AG Loretta Lynch

Thursday, June 18th, 2015

Yesterday was a big day for Loretta Lynch. She was formally sworn in as U.S. Attorney General … and she joined Twitter.

So after two back-to-back Donald Trump limericks, I felt the need for some cleansing with this limerick:

To Loretta Lynch, welcome! It’s clear
From your singular, brilliant career
That you’re tough and yet fair;
About justice you care,
Never flinching from trials. Hear, hear!

I even posted it on Twitter yesterday, a couple of hours after she joined. Of course I had to alter it a bit, due to Twitter’s annoying 140 character limit. Here’s how it appeared on my Twitter feed:

2 @LorettaLynch wlcm! I cheer
Ur singular brilliant career.
Ur tough & yet fair.
Re justice u care,
Never flinching from trials. Hear, hear!