Posts Tagged ‘Election Humor’

Open Limerick To Anthony Weiner

Thursday, May 23rd, 2013

The audacity of politicians never ceases to astonish me. And Anthony Weiner’s run for New York City Mayor is only the latest example. I just don’t see how he can ever live down his Twitter scandal, and I say that as a New Yorker and former fan.

Open Limerick To Anthony Weiner
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mr. Weiner, I once was a fan;
You’re an outspoken, liberal man.
But I’m sorry –you’re screwed
By the “ick” factor, dude,
So your mayor plans simply don’t scan.

An Endorsement Mark Sanford Hopes Nobody Will Notice (Limerick)

Wednesday, May 1st, 2013

Even though I have no use for porn, I do have a soft spot for Hustler publisher Larry Flynt.

Why?

1: Throughout the George W. Bush administration, he linked to my parody Dubya’s Dayly Diary from the home page of his personal site.

2: Larry Flynt is a lefty who pulls the occasional very amusing stunt.

Larry Flynt’s latest caper is an obviously satirical endorsement of former South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford in his race against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch for U.S. Congress.

He couldn’t possibly have given Elizabeth Colbert Busch a lovelier gift.

Sanford, who gained national prominence in 2009 as governor of South Carolina when he abruptly abandoned his duties for a secret rendezvous with his mistress, is currently running against Democrat Elizabeth Colbert Busch for South Carolina’s 1st Congressional District seat. The election will take place on May 7.

In a statement released today, Flynt calls Sanford “the sex pioneer of our time.” In Flynt’s eyes “no one has done more to expose the sexual hypocrisy of traditional values in America today. Sanford’s open embrace of his mistress in the name of love, breaking his sacred marriage vows, was an act of bravery that has drawn my support.” Chastising the Republican Party for not backing Sanford following his run-off victory, Flynt declared: “I am willing to step in and stand erect for Mark Sanford.”

An Endorsement Mark Sanford Hopes Nobody Will Notice (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A man known for porn — Larry Flynt
Has endorsed Gov. Mark Sanford in print,
As a “sex pioneer,”
With a glint and a leer.
Endorsements like this you can’t mint.

Republican Campaign Oversight? (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 9th, 2013

There’s a striking difference between the website homepages of the DCCC (Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee) and the NRCC (National Republican Congressional Committee): The most prominent words (by size and location) on the DCCC site are Democrats 2014. But the only reference to Republicans on the NRCC site is buried on the bottom in the “paid for by” disclaimer.

So, do House Republicans have something to hide?

Republican Campaign Oversight? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Seems the NRCC’s feeling shame:
How else to explain that the name
Of its party’s not bold,
But lost under the fold
Of a site meant to shore up its game.

Open Limerick To Chris Christie

Tuesday, February 19th, 2013

Here’s a Chris Christie quote that may come back to haunt him: “I’m not much different from Andrew Cuomo. I probably agree with him on 98% of the issues.”

Open Limerick To Chris Christie
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Chris, if the Oval’s your goal,
Then you’re digging yourself a deep hole:
You have said that your views
Are like Cuomo’s — bad news!
To your party each Dem is a troll.

Finger Pointing Blues (Limerick)

Thursday, November 8th, 2012

When a political party loses big time, the way the Republicans lost on Tuesday, there are two ways to go: 1) Careful introspection; or 2) Blame game. Guess which route the Republicans picked.

Finger Pointing Blues (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican game is “cast blame.”
Faulting somebody else is their aim.
It’s Sandy! It’s Rove!
It’s Chris Christie, by Jove!
But they lost cuz the GOP’s lame.

Yay! (Celebratory Limerick)

Wednesday, November 7th, 2012

Congratulations to Barack Obama and Joe Biden on their reelection! And yes, it was a mandate.

Yay! (Celebratory Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a thrill in the air. Can you feel it?
Prez Obama has won — can’t repeal it!
The fight was a tough one—
A falsehood-filled rough one.
But despite tries to steal it, Dems seal it.

P.S. Nate Silver was right.

National Gin Day Is Nearly Here … and None Too Soon! (Limerick)

Tuesday, November 6th, 2012

Happy National Gin Day, November 7th!

National Gin Day Is Nearly Here … and None Too Soon! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Martini buffs surely will grin
On the 7th: They celebrate gin!
Now I’m not a big fan,
But I’ll drink like a man
If Obama and Biden don’t win.

Limerick Ode To Paul “No-Compromise” Ryan

Monday, November 5th, 2012

When it comes to partisan obstructionism, Paul Ryan’s record can’t be beat. And yet he has the audacity to brag about crossing the aisle to get things done.

Limerick Ode To Paul “No-Compromise” Ryan
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“No-Compromise” Ryan is blessed
With a talent for lyin’ with zest.
He will brag he’s bipartisan—
Falsity-artisan!
At whoppers Team Romney is best.

Rock Romney’s Boat!

Monday, November 5th, 2012

Rock Romney’s Boat
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt lies, lies, lies for votes.
Truth defeats his scheme.
Verily, verily, verily, verily,
Romney we must cream!

Romney’s Lies Are Jeep (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 30th, 2012

Mitt Romney keeps repeating a claim that he knows to be false: Both in speeches and ads, he asserts that Chrysler’s moving all Jeep production to China. In truth, Chrysler’s adding 2200 Jeep employees in Toledo, Ohio and Detroit, Michigan.

But what’s a little thing like the truth, when you’re trying to deceive your way into the White House?

Romney’s Lies Are Jeep (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Romney’s China-Jeep ad is a lie.
Yet he keeps doubling down on it. Why?
Cuz he’s paid little price
For his lies. That device
Gets him votes. Bid democracy “Bye!”

Victimless Rhyme (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 19th, 2012

Here’s an amusing irony, in light of Mitt Romney’s 47 percent secret video: Mitt Romney’s father, former Michigan Governor George Romney, was once “on relief.”

In this video, cut from a 1962 Romney for Governor informercial, Lenore Romney talks about why her husband would be a good Governor of Michigan. Interestingly, Lenore Romney sounds very similar to how Ann Romney described Mitt Romney in her convention speech last week — though Lenore also describes George as “a refugee from Mexico. He was on relief – welfare relief – for the first years of his life.”

Victimless Rhyme (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Romney’s father was once “on relief.”
47 percenter — good grief!
Does that mean that Mitt’s dad
Would not vote for his lad?
Was he Michigan’s Victim in Chief?

Limerick Ode To A Campaign In Disarray

Tuesday, September 18th, 2012

A political campaign is, essentially, a business. And isn’t building a business Mitt Romney’s supposed claim to fame?

Limerick Ode To A Campaign In Disarray
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt’s campaign is in great disarray.
New embarrassments come ev’ry day.
His campaign is a co
Built by Romney, and so
Why suppose he can run USA?

What Mitt Romney Thinks, What He Really, Really Thinks (Limerick)

Tuesday, September 18th, 2012

If you were wondering what Romney really thinks of Democrats, he tells us just that in a video, secretly recorded during a private fundraiser “held at the Boca Raton home of controversial private equity manager Marc Leder on May 17.”

Fielding a question from a donor about how he could triumph in November, Romney replied:

“There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it. That that’s an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax.”

Romney went on: “[M]y job is not to worry about those people. I’ll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives.”

What Mitt Romney Thinks, What He Really, Really Thinks (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney disdains half our nation
And betrays this to private ovation:
When he speaks to his donors,
He gives the men boners,
With his Dems are all moochers conflation.

Mitt’s Strange Surrogate (Limerick)

Monday, September 17th, 2012

Who else but Mitt Romney surrogate Rick Santorum, could beam with pride while saying: “We will never have the elite, smart people on our side.”

Mitt’s Strange Surrogate (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

If you’re smart, then you ain’t on our side,
Said Santorum with singular pride.
Dear Rick, does Mitt know
You exultingly glow
With support from dim folks nationwide?

Yet Another PolitiFiction Limerick

Tuesday, August 7th, 2012

After last year’s Politifact “Lie of the Year” debacle, I’ve been trying to just ignore Politifact’s Truth-O-Meter fakery.

But Politifact is to “truth” what Fox News is to “fair and balanced,” and it does a tremendous amount of damage. Here’s Scott Lemieux on Politifact’s latest just-pretend truth-telling regarding Harry Reid’s claim that he was told Romney didn’t pay taxes for ten years:

Once again, [Politifact has] awarded a “pants on fire” award, in this case to Harry Reid, despite providing no evidence whatsoever that Reid lied. Here’s the problem:

“Many readers asked us to put Reid’s claim to the Truth-O-Meter. We conclude that Reid, despite repeating the claim on at least two occasions, has not produced any solid evidence it is true.”

This does not, in fact, constitute a “lie.” If it is, then Romney has told “pants on fire” lies about what he’s paid in taxes in the years we don’t have returns released for as well. And PolitiFact is double-pants-on-fire-with-an-additional-Pinocchio lying, since they haven’t provided the slightest evidence that Reid wasn’t told by someone that Romney hasn’t paid taxes. As always, PolitiFact simply doesn’t understand what facts and lies are, which is kind of a problem when you purport to be a fact-checker.

Yet Another PolitiFiction Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Politifact, kindly stop lying.
Though you claim to check facts, I’m not buying.
You pretend to the role
Of a fact-checking soul,
But it’s pro-Romney lies you’re supplying.

Reid v. Romney (Limerick)

Monday, August 6th, 2012

I’m pleased that Harry Reid’s doubled down on his claim that Mitt Romney may not have paid taxes for ten years. And I agree with Nancy Pelosi: If Reid says he has a good source on this, Reid has a good source on this. Unlike Mitt Romney, Reid isn’t a liar.

Instead of making assertions about what’s in his tax returns, Romney needs to follow custom and release his returns. If Romney’s lying about his tax returns now, it wouldn’t be the first time: He was caught lying about his tax returns back in 2002 regarding the critical issue of residency.

Reid v. Romney (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I’m glad that Reid’s on the attack
And is giving Mitt Romney some flak.
I just wish Harry Reid
In the Senate would lead
With a similar street-fighting knack.

UPDATE: Here’s a second limerick related to this topic:

Harry Reid is not up for election,
So his jab in Mitt Romney’s direction
Is fail-safe of course:
If Reid’s wrong, then his source
Just misled him. Reid’s plan is perfection.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Foreign Fumbler” Romney

Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

Mitt Romney’s image-bolstering trip to Great Britain, Israel, and Poland was jam-packed with gaffes. Yet according to Mitt, none of this is his fault: The biased media’s to blame.

But as Maddowblog’s Steve Benen puts it:

…it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when he insulted the British; it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when he misquoted the Australian finance minister; it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when his campaign kinda sorta gave the green light on a unilateral strike on Iran; it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when he used borderline-racist language at his Israeli fundraiser; it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when he praised a socialized health care system he claims to abhor; and it wasn’t news organizations’ fault when his press secretary said, “Kiss my ass. This is a Holy site.”

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Foreign Fumbler” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney’s big trip. Oy Gevalt!
A tri-country gaffe-filled assault:
Poland, Israel, Great Britain—
Still reeling from Mitten.
But of course it’s the “media’s fault.”

UPDATE: Cool news! KPCC’s Patt Morrison announced the results of her political limerick contest on her show and here. The two winning limericks are the one I posted above and one by Mason Kroll.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “How Dare You Accuse Me Of Saying What I Said” Romney

Tuesday, June 12th, 2012

Mitt Romney has a bad habit of pretending he didn’t say something that he actually said. And claiming not to hold positions that he really holds.

For instance, after getting flack for his stated opinion that we have too many cops, firemen, and teachers, and that cutting such jobs is a good thing, he’s pretending this never happened. According to Mitt, to claim he said what he said and holds views that he really holds is “a very strange accusation.”

Don’t believe Mitt for even a minute. For while the federal government doesn’t directly hire (or fire) cops, firemen, and teachers, Romney’s stated policies would starve the state and municipal budgets, causing cops, firefighters, and teachers to lose their jobs.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “How Dare You Accuse Me Of Saying What I Said” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Vote Mitt, if you think our supply
Of teachers and cops is too high,
And firemen too.
We’ll be losing a slew
Of them all — that’s what Romney-votes buy.

Limerick Ode To Jimmy Carter

Thursday, April 26th, 2012

What’s even more annoying than a Jimmy Carter poem? It’s Carter pontificating about the upcoming presidential election:

Former President Jimmy Carter believes Barack Obama will win a second term, but says he’d be “comfortable” with Mitt Romney in the White House because of the Republican’s past history as a “moderate.”

Limerick Ode To Jimmy Carter
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Carter counts on Mitt’s moderate past
With naiveness that leaves me aghast.
I’d be comfy, he says,
With Mitt as our Prez.
Carter’s foolishness truly is vast.

No Photo Finish For Newt … Just Photos

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

This news made me laugh: “Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich’s campaign tacked on a new fundraising effort Monday, charging supporters $50 a pop for anyone who wants a photo with the former House speaker.”

No Photo Finish For Newt … Just Photos
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The latest Newt news is a beaut:
You must pay for a photo with Newt —
Fifty dollars per pic.
Here’s a fund raising trick:
I’d pay more not to pose with that brute.