Those who claim my election’s illicit,
Saying I’m with V. Putin complicit,
Are misplacing their scorn;
Donald Trump’s native born,
Unlike Bar! So my ass? You can kiss it!
Posts Tagged ‘Election Humor’
Those who claim my election’s illicit,
Add Paul Ryan to the long list of Republicans who are just fine with a GOP president who constantly lies:
“‘I have no way of backing that up,’ Paul Ryan says about President-elect Trump’s tweet claiming millions of Americans voted illegally. ‘It doesn’t matter to me. He won the election.’”
Ryan shrugs at Trump’s lies and tall tales.
For instance, when Trump falsely wails
That sham votes by the mil
Were counted for Hill,
Says Ryan: Trump won. All else pales!
Though he promised with fervor and pomp
That as prez he’d be draining the swamp,
There’s no dredging in sight;
Just corruption and blight,
As Trump’s cronies and billionaires romp.
Lately I’ve been seeing posts by “Bernie or Buster” Jill Stein supporters whining about the horror that is Donald Trump.
Seems to me they should have thought of that just a wee bit sooner.
Dear “Bernie or Busters” don’t whine
About Trump and the fact he’s a swine.
Your bitching should halt,
Cuz Trump’s win is YOUR FAULT!
Hope your “conscience” is happy with Stein.
Can humor survive Trump’s election?
Wit doesn’t mix well with dejection.
But it weathered the pain
Of the Bush/Cheney reign,
So let’s hope for a short-lived defection.
Prez Obama, the way they’ve behaved
Means the Senate has tacitly waived
Its advice/consent right
Re Judge Garland, so fight
And appoint him. That seat can be saved.
Sure the Senate will probably sue
And deem it some sort of a coup.
But it’s still wise to try,
Cuz the courts may just buy
Your contention. It’s worth the ado.
There’s a stark double standard from Comey.
(If you don’t think I’m MAD, you don’t know me.)
He proclaims each Hill crumb,
Yet on Trump he stays mum.
So my message to Comey is “Blow me!”
Ever wonder what Trump does for a hobby? Apparently he bitches about microphones:
Donald Trump amplified his contentious history with microphones Thursday, blaming the technology for recording what he thought he was saying in private.
In an interview set to air Thursday, Trump faulted a hot mic for capturing him speaking cavalierly about forcibly kissing and groping women with impunity because he’s ‘a star.’
‘The microphones, I mean to be honest should, you know, should never have been on,’ he said, according to an excerpt of an interview scheduled to broadcast Thursday evening with the global Catholic network EWTN and published by The Washington Post.
Trump’s revealed who is really at fault
For his infamous brags of assault.
Donald’s mic is to blame
For his “pussy” boast fame.
Trump’s a media pro? Oy gevalt!
Here’s some news that has cheered me a bit:
Donald’s branding has taken a hit.
The elite who can pay
His steep rates, now say “Nay!”
So Trump’s “luxury” name ain’t worth spit.
This election is nearing its end
None too soon; I’ve gone plumb round the bend.
I can’t handle more jive.
My mind’s taken a dive.
It needs Hillary’s village to mend.
At a charity, heckling is rare,
But Trump got derision to spare
At the Alfred Smith Dinner.
Trump wasn’t the winner?
“Rigged” booing, no doubt. How unfair!
Donald lost the debate rather “bigly.”
The jig’s up, Mr. “Bigwig.” Your prigly
And pigly deportment
And oddball assortment
Of views “rigged the deal” … and I’m giggly.
It’s all “rigged,” Donald’s loudly contended;
Childish whining, before the game’s ended.
What’s his proof? Trump has none!
He’s undone his own run
Through behavior that can’t be defended.
But to Donald, he’s never to blame;
Not his lies, nor his predator fame
Could ever account
For the polls, as they mount
Against Trump and his Alt-Rightist game.
Will Donald show up to debate
And act crazy, confused, or irate?
Will he spread taller tales,
As he coke-sniffs and wails?
It’s all moot; Trump has sealed his own fate.
Does anyone remember Donald Trump being shackled? Me neither.
And yet here’s Trump on Twitter: “It is so nice that the shackles have been taken off me and I can now fight for America the way I want to.”
It’s time for a two-verse limerick. (5 Lines just aren’t enough.)
Now that Trump’s been “unshackled,” beware:
Donald’s free to be mean as a bear.
Trump the “gentleman’s” done.
Trump the tough guy’s begun;
That’s his threat in an effort to scare.
But this taunt leaves me rather amused,
Because Donald has constantly oozed
Spiteful bile on the stump.
Trump has ALWAYS been Trump,
Spewing lies that are venom-infused.
The debaters are poised for the kill.
(I’m referring to Donald and Hill.)
Here’s the answer we need:
Will The Donald succeed
In changing the villain to Bill?
Donald Trump has expressed his “remorse,”
Says Mike Pence, who is “grateful,” of course.
He hopes Trump will impart
What he has “in his heart.”
It seems Pence doesn’t want a ‘divorce.’
Trump’s “pussy” apology’s terse!
(The Donald is “sorry” averse.)
“You should give me your votes,”
He shamelessly notes.
“Elect ME, cuz her husband’s done worse.”
Mike Pence is even worse on women’s health issues than I thought: As a Congressman, it was Pence who introduced the first bill to block Planned Parenthood funding. He even fathered the Republican habit of blocking essential bills and threatening government shutdowns over defunding Planned Parenthood. So it’s time for a limerick:
Trump’s a sexist, we rail and we fret,
But here’s something we’d best not forget:
Pence invented the scheme
V. Planned Parenthood. Scream
To the rafters: “Mike Pence is a threat!”