Posts Tagged ‘Election Humor’

Pence Ain’t A Saint (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 29th, 2022

Headline: “Pence: ‘We must not rest’ until abortion is outlawed in every state”

On One/Six, Pence behaved like a man;
He helped scuttle Trump’s scurrilous plan.
But enough with the praise!
Re abortion, he’d raze
Women’s rights with a nationwide ban.

A Riot Of A Story (Limerick)

Saturday, January 15th, 2022

Here’s the hilarious (and true) inspiration for my latest limerick:

Headline: “Capitol rioters called Nancy Pelosi’s office looking for a ‘lost and found’ for items they left behind on January 6, according to Rep. Jamie Raskin”

With the Capitol Building defaced,
Some One/Sixers departed in haste.
I must ask: Were they stoned
When post-riot they phoned
Pelosi for stuff they’d misplaced?

Fast Talker Jim Jordan Won’t Talk (Limerick)

Monday, January 10th, 2022

Headline: “Jan. 6 panel fires back at Jordan over refusal to cooperate”

Said Jim Jordan, I’ve “nothing to hide.”
But it seems he apparently lied;
He’s declined to comply
With the One/Six probe. Why?
I suspect that he’s fit to be tried.

Insurrection Blues (2-Verse Limerick)

Sunday, January 2nd, 2022

We commemorate One/Six this week,
A day that’s both somber and bleak.
Though we greet it with sadness,
Trump basks in its madness.
Wreaking havoc’s his goal, so he’ll speak.

Trump is NOT at all through with his coup,
So he’ll keep spouting things that ain’t true.
For that man with no soul
Has an ace in the hole:
Clueless boosters who’ll back what he’ll spew.

Dear Dems: DO Something! (Limerick)

Thursday, November 4th, 2021

The shellacking the Dems got this week
Means they’re weak and need more than a tweak.
What they’re doing ain’t working.
Disaster is lurking!
If the Dems don’t shape up, I shall freak.

Unsolicited Advice (Limerick)

Wednesday, November 3rd, 2021

Headline: “Democrats point fingers after Virginia defeat”

My advice for the Dems is “make nice”
With each other; it’s time to think twice
About deal-making fights.
They must learn from last night’s
Disaster. Stop rolling the dice!

Republican Quandary (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 6th, 2021

Headline: “GOP 2024 hopefuls face challenge: Not upsetting Trump”

“The Hill” tells us something we know
About GOP prez-hopefuls’ woe:
They must NOT rile the prickly
Ex-prez, yet act quickly.
Avoid venom from Trump? Ho, ho, ho!

NYC’s Board Of Elections Blows It Again (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 30th, 2021

Headline: “New York Mayor’s Race in Chaos After Elections Board Counts 135,000 Test Ballots”

New York’s contest for mayor’s been thrown
Into chaos; its tally’s been blown
By The Board of Elections,
Whose ballot corrections
Will be tainted — the truth deemed unknown.

My Primary Problem (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2021

It’s Primary Day here, and so…
It is off to the polls we must go.
But these ballots are weird;
Far worse than I feared!
Ranked choice voting? I’d rather vote “NO!”

The Meddling “Former Guy” (Limerick)

Thursday, March 4th, 2021

“Republicans are sounding the alarm that his attempts to meddle in primaries could hurt the party’s efforts to win back the majority”

GOPers are worried and fretting;
They’re afraid that Trump’s meddling’s abetting
The Dems in the House.
For they bet on a louse,
Whose candidate picks have them sweating.

What Will It Take For Pence To Stop Repeating Trump’s Lies? (Limerick)

Thursday, March 4th, 2021

My latest limerick was inspired by a recent Mike Pence op-ed in The Daily Signal. Here’s how he begins: “After an election marked by significant voting irregularities and numerous instances of officials setting aside state election law, I share the concerns of millions of Americans about the integrity of the 2020 election.”

Dear Mike Pence, I am forced to surmise
That you haven’t stopped backing Trump’s lies.
He endangered your life!
Yet your statements are rife
With Trump myths. That’s bizarre and unwise.

Obsequious Republicans (Limerick)

Monday, February 15th, 2021

GOPers are weary and sick
Of defending that scurrilous Dick.
Yet they’re loath to abort
Their debased Trump support.
Are they cowards, or frauds? Take your pick!

Two-Faced Mitch (Limerick)

Monday, February 15th, 2021

Mitch is trying to have it both ways:
First he joins in the “Don’t Convict!” nays.
Then he spouts a critique
Of Trump’s actions, with pique.
For hypocrisy (rank!) he wants praise?

In Acquitting Trump, GOP Senators Acquit Themselves Poorly (Limerick)

Sunday, February 14th, 2021

Trump’s acquittal by GOP wimps
Gave us more than a generous glimpse
At pols who enrolled
In the “Trump Cult” and sold
Off their souls; fawning wretches and simps!

Yet Another “If Trump Could Write Limericks”

Thursday, February 11th, 2021

With Trump finally out of office, I thought I was done writing “If Trump Could Write Limericks.” But apparently not.

So my crowd got a bit out of hand?
No big deal! I would never command
Them to kill, even maim,
And my language was tame.
This impeachment hoax ought to be banned!

Them’s Fightin’ Words! (Limerick)

Tuesday, February 9th, 2021

Headline: “Trump’s impeachment lawyers argue he only wanted supporters to ‘fight’ in ‘the figurative sense'”

Trump repeatedly told his mob “Fight!”
But he claims that he never meant “Smite!”
Funny thing though: his crowd
(MAGA-Cultish and Proud)
Clearly knew how to earn Trump’s delight.

Lou Dobbs Loses Job (Limerick)

Monday, February 8th, 2021

Headline: “Why Fox News canceled Lou Dobbs”

Lou Dobbs has been ousted by Fox
Cuz a lawsuit has Fox in a box.
Will Jeanine and Maria
Be next? Great idea!
May Smartmatic clean all their clocks!

Trump’s Case, In Brief (Limerick)

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2021

Trump denies he incited a coup;
Says his voter fraud claims are all true;
And rejects any blame.
But the rioters claim:
“We did JUST what Trump told us to do.”

My Limerick Question Of The Day

Monday, February 1st, 2021

Embracing the fringe politicians
(Pols enamored of lies and seditions)
Is the GOP’s course.
Will this soon be its source
Of failing electoral missions?

Georgia On His Mind (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 5th, 2021

Headline: “Judge Shoots Down Last-Ditch Trump Lawsuit Looking to Overturn Georgia Loss”

Poor Donald keeps losing in court;
Filing spurious suits is his forte.
Each “disgraceful” court loss
Makes him bitter and cross,
As Trump’s time in the Oval grows short.