Posts Tagged ‘Election Humor’

Trump Can Forget the “Edwards Defense” (Limerick)

Friday, December 14th, 2018

Trump’s hush money payments to gals
Is NOT a big deal, say his pals.
Trump can use the defense
That Edwards used; hence
Donald wins. (That’s their flawed rationales.)

But the “shield-wife defense” won’t apply
To Donald Trump’s pay-offs. Here’s why:
Those who made them concede
That their goal was impede
An election loss. Donald — Buh-Bye!

Trump Runs Away From Pence? (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 5th, 2018

Headline: “Trump’s Team Considers Removing Mike Pence from 2020 Ticket”

Will the Donald give Mike Pence the boot?
That’s the re-elect rumor. Each coot
Deserves only the worst.
Yes for vengeance, I thirst,
And I’m hoping this question is moot.

Death Of Democracy? (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 4th, 2018

Headline: “Let’s stop using euphemisms; American democracy is under attack

Our democracy’s under attack;
Voting systems are all out of whack.
Gerrymand’ring has wrecked
Our nation. Unchecked,
We’ll “elect” only quack, flak, and hack.

GOP Course Correction? Of Course Not! (Limerick)

Sunday, December 2nd, 2018

Headline: “Despite Big House Losses, G.O.P. Shows No Signs of Course Correction

Course correction is NOT being planned
By Republican pols, though their brand
Has been sullied by kissing
Trump’s ass. They are missing
Their balls and remaining unmanned.

Border Surge Stunt (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

Trump’s surge on the border’s a stunt.
He did it as part of his hunt
For votes and support,
Using fear to exhort
His base, keeping bias up front.

Golfer-In-Chief Trump (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

In the course of election-month drama,
Trump had scant time for golf — what a trauma!
Donald’s golf time was sparse
In November — poor arse —
So he managed to tie Prez Obama.

(Inspired by this Washington Post Headline.)

The GOP Draws The Wrong Conclusions (Limerick)

Thursday, November 15th, 2018

Headline: “McCarthy Blames Loss of House on ‘Historical Trends’”

Don’t expect any rueful admissions
To explain the Dem’s House seat additions.
No the GOP bends
The truth, blaming trends;
Not its actions and dreadful positions.

Trump’s Post-Election Trauma (Limerick)

Thursday, November 15th, 2018

Poor Donald’s becoming depressed.
He’s missing his usual zest.
The election last week
Might account for his pique…
But just wait till he’s under arrest.

***********
Alternate Version — More general

Poor Donald’s becoming depressed.
He’s missing his usual zest.
Things with Mueller look bleak,
Which accounts for his pique…
And just wait till he’s under arrest.

Election Stress (Limerick)

Sunday, November 4th, 2018

Headline: “There’s Plenty To Stress Over In The ‘Anxiety Election'”

I’m nervous! I’m anxious! I’m stressed!
Leave the house? That entails getting dressed!
Pre-Election Day tension;
Fear, anger, dissension!
I might just pull a “Baldwin.” Need rest!

Stealing Georgia? (Limerick)

Friday, October 12th, 2018

Kemp’s afraid that more Georgians might vote,
So he blocks them from regist’ring. Note,
He’s intent on defeating
Ms. Abrams by cheating
To keep his Gov prospects afloat.

Donald The Prognosticator (Limerick)

Wednesday, September 19th, 2018

WP Headline: “Trump’s insistence on an upcoming ‘red wave’ could make a blue wave higher”

I enjoy watching Donald emote
About upcoming mid-terms; he’ll gloat
About wins and successes.
My hope and best guess is
His base will think “no need to vote!”

The GOP’s “Blue Wave” Blues (Limerick)

Thursday, August 9th, 2018

Headline: “4 signs of a blue wave from Election Day: Republicans should be running scared”

Most Republican leaders see Trump
As creating a GOP slump.
But not Donald! He’ll brag
And pretend the “Trump drag”
Is “fake news,” as our “blue wave” odds jump.

Trump’s Now and Future Limericks

Tuesday, January 9th, 2018

You probably know that Trump’s chimed in on the “Oprah presidential run” conversation. But did you also know that Trump’s already composed two Oprah limericks — one for this year and one for 2020?

Fortunately for my readers, I managed to get hold of the only copy:

Trump’s 2018 Limerick:

Though Oprah’s unlikely to run,
I’ll beat her and have lots of fun.
I know her real well
And I think that she’s swell,
But she’ll surely be YUUUGELY outdone.

Trump’s 2020 Limerick:

Dopey Oprah is sorry she ran.
Being prez is a job for a man.
And besides, it’s not clear
She was even born here.
She’s a mopey old flash in the pan.

More BS From Moore (Limerick)

Saturday, December 16th, 2017

Headline: “Roy Moore: ‘Battle Is Not Over’ in Senate Race”

The battle’s not over, says Moore.
All your calls to concede, I’ll ignore
The election was flawed.
I’m sure there was fraud.
So send money. Keep funding my war.

Who Ya Gonna Believe? (Limerick)

Saturday, November 11th, 2017

Russia meddled, our experts maintain;
Our Democracy’s suffered a stain.
But Donald would rather
Buy Putin’s false blather;
Trump’s owned by Vlad’s hard driving reign.

What Happened? I’ll Tell You What Happened! (Limerick)

Thursday, September 14th, 2017

You don’t wish to read Hillary’s book?
That’s just fine, but don’t ask us to brook
All your bitching and moaning,
Begrudging and groaning;
It is YOU who gave US Trump the Crook!

Russian Election Interference — NOT A One-Time Thing (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 21st, 2017

Though people seem prone to adopt
The past tense re the Russians, I’ll opt
To claim present tense crime
Re elections, each time;
There’s no reason to think that they’ve stopped.

Voter’s Remorse? (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 6th, 2017

“Are you suff’ring from voter’s remorse?”
That query arises, perforce.
But I’ve yet to hear “yes”
In response, I confess.
Does it cause that much stress to change course?

The “Ridiculous Standard” Trump Once Loved (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 25th, 2017

CNBC Headline: “Trump calls first 100 days a ‘ridiculous standard’ — even though he set it as a standard.”

Remember when Donald embraced
The 1st HUNDRED Days standard? He based
His campaign on a list
Of such goals, mostly missed.
Having failed, he’d declare it erased.

You Lost The Popular Vote, Donald. Get Over It! (2-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, January 24th, 2017

“Trump Repeats Lie About Popular Vote in Meeting With Lawmakers.”

Now that Trump’s been sworn in, you would think
Mr. Orange would feel in the pink;
That he’d cease his false claims
And fake voter-fraud flames,
But it seems that the man needs a shrink.

Clinton’s popular vote win’s immense,
Which is making Trump terribly tense.
So he fabricates fraud,
Saying votes for the Broad
By illegals robbed Donald and Pence.