Mad Kane’s Political Madness

After losing three back-to-back Congressional races in solid Republican districts, the GOP has a spanking new game plan:

George Who??? (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bush enablers are trying to blame
All their woes on George Bush — that’s their game:
Each Congressional loss
Is the fault of their boss.
Their new creed? “Never liked what’s-his-name.”

Update: Next Monday evening, I’ll be attending a New York screening of War, Inc., John Cusack’s new movie satirizing the Iraq war.  If you’re planning to be there too, please email me, and maybe we can meet.  I’ll be going via a ticket I won in RawStory’s war limerick writing contest.

Technorati Tags: Campaign Satire, Election Humor, Republican Limerick, GOP Verse, Bush Blame, Congressional Races, Distance From Bush, Childers Mississippi

I finally dare to fantasize that the Democrats may have gotten their act together, and they pull a cowardly stunt like this:

Just when the Dems at least are talking tough (even if they aren’t acting tough), they let Bush and Cheney intimidate them into giving them more spying powers. …

Can’t the Democrats just say “no,” as in “Sorry, you have proven that you can’t be trusted with increased spying powers, in fact you are still failing to fully inform Congress and the American people about the illegal spying you have conducted in the past and are still, apparently, conducting”?…

Unfortunately, my January 2006 limerick, George Bush Says His Spying Is Cool, remains valid.  But that certainly won’t prevent me from writing another one:

Bush Growls; Dems Kowtow
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Dems disappoint us again,
Backing Bush in his eavesdropping yen.
We need Dems to defend us
From Bush bills horrendous.
When will Dems turn from mice into men?

And now it’s time for a new poll, though my Bush impeachment poll remains open for business: 

(You can find lots of my privacy, technology, and computer humor columns, song parodies and verse here.)

Technorati Tags: Democratic Cowards, Bush Eavesdropping, Eavesdropping Poll, Bush Spying, Gonzales Eavesdropping

Alberto Gonzales is but one of the Bushie liars and Bush enablers whose Congressional hearing testimony can be summarized by this limerick: 

Every Bushie’s Testimony Summed Up In A Single Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Don’t recall, don’t remember, can’t say
What I did or I said on that day.
But I happily swear
On the life of ma mère,
I did nothing that’s wrongful.  No way!”

(You can find more of my Gonzales satire here, my legal humor here, and my limericks and other satirical verse here.)

UPDATE: Don’t forget to vote in my Bush Impeachment Poll!

Technorati Tags: Bushies, Liars, Congressional Testimony, Senate Testimony, House Testimony, Senate Hearings, House Hearings, Deposition Humor, Subpoena Satire, Bush Cheney Administration, Bush Enablers, Convenient Memory, Alberto Gonzales, Gonzo, Liars

Dan Froomkin isn’t surprised that “confronted with a tide of anti-war sentiment and a growing number of defecting Republican lawmakers, the White House is changing not its policy on Iraq, but its message.”  Froomkin pithily sums it all up:

Enter the new White House talking point: You want out? We want out, too!

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Message: I Share … Your Goals. (Bush to the Revolting Republicans)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Bush’s party has grown rather sick
Of the war in Iraq spawned by Dick,
Cause Election ‘08
Looms and threatens their fate,
And Rove platitudes won’t end it quick.

(You can find more of my antiwar humor here.) 

Technorati Tags: Bush War, Iraq War, Antiwar Sentiment, Revolting Republicans, Election 08, Defecting GOP Lawmakers

I wonder if President Bush was as surprised as the rest of us at learning that his VEEP isn’t part of the Executive Branch.  Yup, Bush’s Lord and Master Dick Cheney has declared his office to be exempt from all sorts of pesky legal Executive Branch requirements because — presto chango — it isn’t part of the Executive Branch.  Needless to say, Henry Waxman and the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee aren’t pleased with Cheney’s out-of-the-box Constitution-plundering assertion.

Just one question: If VEEP Cheney isn’t part of the Executive Branch, does that mean he’s waived his right to claim Executive Privilege?  Just wondering.

(You can find more of my legal and lawyer humor and satire here.)

Technorati Tags: Dick Cheney, Vice President Richard Cheney, Executive Privilege, Executive Branch, Chairman Waxman, House Oversight And Government Reform Committee, Constitutional Crisis, George Bush, Satire

Everybody’s reporting that the Democrats have dropped withdrawal dates from the Iraq war funding bill.  If this is really true, Rachel Maddow says she’ll go insane, and so will I:

Democrats, Heal Thy Selves! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Dems disappoint once again,
Caving in to Dub’s warmong’ring yen.
Timeline’s gone from the bill.
Checks on Bush?  Nothing! Nil!
Bush says, “Heel!” and the Dems reply, “When?”

UPDATE: If you’re mad at Congress too, you can  Take the Iraq Vote Pledge here, and it will be sent to your representatives. It reads:

I pledge to vote against every Senator and Representative who approves funding to continue the disastrous Iraq War.

We have already given far too much of our blood and treasure - and killed far too many Iraqis - for a war based on lies. We are now occupying a hostile nation divided by civil war for the benefit of military contractors and Big Oil.

The only way to support our troops is to bring them home NOW, and no funds should be used for any other purpose. If Congress fails to bring our troops home, I will do everything I can - and urge everyone I know - to defeat pro-war Senators and Representatives, both in my party’s primary elections and in the November general election.

Technorati Tags: Iraq War Spending Bill, Iraq Timeline, Withdrawal Dates, Democrats, Warmongering, Rachel Maddow, President Bush

Please forgive me for not being all that impressed with the Republican Gang of Eleven, who supposedly hammered  George Bush about Iraq and had  the “most unvarnished conversation they’ve ever had with the president.”  And Tim Russert’s breathless reports about this so-called  “defining pivotal moment” in the Iraq debate (and his media echo chamber) merely enable these eleven endangered Republicans to dupe their constituents into believing that they’re finally doing something about the war in Iraq. 

All eleven voted with the President on the Iraq war spending bill and the redeployment bill that came before Congress this week. So woopdidoo!  And a limerick too:

Ode To the Lame GOP Gang Of Eleven
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Eleven Republicans bray:
“We told Dubya what’s what — had our say.
We critiqued Bush’s war
And we gave him what-for.”
Then they all vote the President’s way. 

Technorati Tags: Iraq War, President Bush, Republicans Humor, Media Echo Chamber, Unvarnished Conversation, Defining Pivotal Moment, Gang Of Eleven, GOP, Tim Russert

Dems Pull Bush’s Chain
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Congressional Dems reached a deal.
No, it isn’t ideal, yet I feel
It’s all right—a first step.
Stop this war? Dems said, “Yep!”
As for reining in Bush, they said, “Heel!” 

Technorati Tags: Congress Humor, Iraq War, Spending Bill, House Bill, Rein In Bush, U.S. Troops Readiness, Veterans’ Health and Iraq Accountability Act, Strategic Redeployment, U.S. Troops

What George Bush Might Say, If He Spoke English
By Madeleine Begun Kane

You’re cowards! You’re traitors! J’accuse!
You in Congress, I’ll surge if I choose.
What power you had,
You’ve abandoned. How sad!
As always, I win and you lose.

=========

And now some links, for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* David Swanson: Subpoena Dick
* ABC’s John Stossel: ‘Rats Make Good Pets For Wounded Vets’
* American Trouble Maker
* Reno 911
* Carnival of Satire 68 and Carnival of Satire 69
* Carnival of Feminists

Technorati Tags: Iraq Surge, Iraq War, Traitors, Anti-Surge Bills

A Henry Waxman haiku seems overdue, so here’s my “thank you” haiku:

Investigations
Into White House wrongdoing
Wax, thanks to Waxman.

Technorati Tags: House Oversight Committee, Henry Waxman, House Hearings, White House Wrongdoing, Bush Failures, Bush Investigations

This weekend’s Senate session reminds me of the fuss Republicans made when Senator Reid and Speaker Pelosi imposed a substantially longer work week on Congress. Some even argued that the imposition of a 5-day work week proved that Democrats are anti-family.

I Guess They Miss The “Good Old Days”
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“How dare they (Pelosi and Reid)
Make us work 5-day weeks,” goes the screed
Of the GOP members,
Forgetting November’s
Results favored change done with speed.

Technorati Tags: Pelosi, Reid, 5-Day Weeks, House, Senate, Congress, GOP,  Anti-Family

Our Banished VEEP
By Madeleine Begun Kane

He’ll be banished from office, VEEP Dick;
Not his job, but his real estate pick.
He had primo House space,
But eviction he’ll face,
Cause the Democrats won.  What a kick!

(My Dick Cheney humor is collected here.)

Technorati Tags: Cheney Office Space, Richard Cheney Humor, Election Humor, House Humor

Ode To The Garish Katherine Harris (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane 

The gal who stole Bush his “election,”
Now is spurned like a lethal infection.
Her makeup is strange,
And she acts quite deranged.
She’s the fruit of unnat’ral selection.

My previous Katherine Harris limerick is here. And for more Katherine Harris humor, don’t miss the Instant Message from Rep. Mark Foley to Sen. Katherine Harris, as channeled by Alan Bisbort and About.com’s Katherine Harris humor section.

And speaking of Katherine Harris, I was just invited to appear on a radio show right smack in the middle of Harris’s turf: The Surreal News Show on Sarasota, Florida’s WSLR 96.5 LP FM Radio.   My appearance is tentatively scheduled for Friday morning, October 27th, and I’ll post more info once details are finalized.

Oh, I almost forgot — the latest  Carnival of the Liberals has been posted at World Wide Webers and it’s another good one.  And be sure to read Don Davis’s very amusing The Great ‘Illiterary’ Contest: ‘Name’ The Bush Memoir and the latest (and always excellent) Carnival of Satire and to check out The Crisis In Our Nation’s Pants.

Update: I think the interview went fairly well and, if you’d like to, you can listen to it here.

Technorati Tags: Congresswoman Katherine Harris, Stealing Elections, Progressive Radio, Liberal Radio

Since blaming Democrats and the media didn’t stick, Denny Hastert is now trying to  shift blame to his staff. (Via Atrios) And that brings me to my latest limerick:

No Penance For Dennis?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Hastert is blaming his staff,
But those in the know have to laugh.
Moms and dads are appalled
By his Foley bad call.
Does he think U.S. voters are daft?

Technorati Tags: Denny Hastert, Foley Scandal, House Speaker Hastert, Family Values, Blame Game

Dirty Denny
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a House Speaker Denny,
With character not worth a penny.
He failed to shield teens
From a boy-obsessed fiend.
Family values? He doesn’t have any.

Technorati Tags: Denny Hastert, Foley Scandal, House Speaker Hastert, Family Values

Tom Reynolds would have us believe that the GOP House leaders would surely have done something about Foley’s House page proclivities long ago, if only evil Kirk Fordham (Reynolds’ chief of staff) hadn’t talked them out of it.  And that brings me to this limerick:

Fordham Axed, Scapegoated To The Max
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Congressman Reynolds’ charade
Is dumping Kirk Fordham, his aide.
He is shifting the blame
For the page abuse shame,
So House Leaders can justice evade.

More on the Foley House Page Scandal for your reading (and viewing) pleasure:
* From Shakespeare’s Sister, Fordham will not go gently into that good night.
* One Good Move has the Daily Show clip: Foley Erect.
* Skippy presents Pedophile Theater.
* From Don Davis, The ‘Dirty Dozen’ Foley Stories The Corporate Media Won’t Report.
* Avedon Carol on Foley’s law and Foley’s law-breaking.
* From Steve Bates, A Different Kind Of Coverup.
* From Hollywood Liberal, Fox News calls Mark Foley a Democrat.
* From Mahablog, The Condi and Dennis Show.
* Digby’s Coup, Coup Cajoob.
* All Hat No Cattle’s Finger Pointing 

Technorati Tags: Tom Reynolds, Foley Scandal, House Leadership, Hastert’s Coverup, Kirk Fordham, GOP Scapegoat, Finger Pointing

Hastert must resign
Because of his coverup.
No “buts,” no delay.

Technorati Tags: Denny Hastert, Mark Foley, GOP Scandal, GOP Leadership, House Speaker

The House GOP leadership seems to be in a bit of trouble for covering up Mark Foley’s predatory Net communications.  So I dedicate my Ode To GOP Hypocrisy to House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert and Majority Leader John Boehner:

Ode To GOP Hypocrisy
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When accusations first arose
V. Foley in the House.
The GOP top leadership
Was quiet as a mouse.

Had Foley been a Democrat
Accused of heinous acts,
Those fellows would have  trumpeted
Their “values” to the max.

The scandal keeps getting worse.  Did the GOP know about Foley way back in 2001? It sure looks that way.

Technorati Tags: GOP Hypocrisy, Mark Foley, Child Predators, Net Communications, House Page Scandal, Florida Election

By now, you surely know that Rep. Mark Foley (R-Fla.) has resigned in disgrace ”amid reports that he had sent sexually explicit Internet messages to at least one underage male former page.”  But did you also know that Foley ”was credited with writing the sexual-predator provisions of the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act of 2006?”

Such irony cries out for a limerick:

Foley’s Folly
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There once was a Congressman Foley,
Who acted all pious and holy.
Helping kids was his cause,
But he broke his own laws,
Sending sleaze through the net. Holy Moley!  

(My political verse is collected here.)

Technorati Tags: Mark Foley, Congressman Foley, House Page Scandal, House Pages, Explicit Internet Messages, Florida Election, Ethics Committee

The Constitution
Was cast aside by Congress.
Hideous corpus!

Technorati Tags: Constitutional Law, Habeas Corpus,  Detainees, Terror Suspects, Torture, Interrogation Techniques