Posts Tagged ‘John Boehner’

Undoing Undue Optimism (4-Verse Limerick)

Saturday, October 31st, 2015

Most press coverage about the “cleaning the barn” two-year “budget deal,” negotiated by Boehner as he was handing off his Speaker gig to Paul Ryan, is unduly optimistic. It tends to lull us into thinking that the opportunity for House wingnuts to wreak havoc has been largely eliminated for a substantial period of time.

But that really isn’t true. Why not? Because, generally speaking, there are three broad opportunities for Tea Party types to threaten or cause shutdowns.

1: Budget bills.

2: Debt ceiling crises.

3: Appropriation bills.

And, alas, only the first two items on that list were resolved, leaving ample opportunities for essential appropriation bills to be saddled with unacceptable riders. For instance, riders eliminating Obamacare or defunding Planned Parenthood, to name just two. In other words:

Right-wing Republicans can still pursue their goals through riders on appropriations bills—and, if they don’t get their way, shut down the government.

With Ryan as Speaker, don’t think
That we aren’t stuck right on the brink
Of Tea Party trouble.
It still can cause rubble
Through spending bills yet to gain ink.

The fact that the budget’s resolved
And the ceiling on debt ain’t involved,
Should not make you relieved.
If you are, you’re deceived,
Cuz the poison pill risk isn’t solved.

The House must appropriate cash,
Via bills which the wingnuts can trash
Through riders from guys
With Tea Party ties,
Turning programs we need into ash.

If that happens, then what can be done?
Only vetoes, and those aren’t fun.
But the blackmailing Hill
Can’t prevail on such bill!
Are there any good choices? Nay! None.

St. Boehner??? (3-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, September 29th, 2015

St. Boehner??? (3-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Please don’t tell me that Boehner’s atoned
For his sins and for all he’s condoned—
That his leaving his job
Is a sacrifice (Sob!)
For the good of our land. Are you stoned?

Because all Boehner’s done is postpone
The government shut-down he’s sown,
And emboldened the loons
Who are anarchist goons—
Anti-government nuts to the bone.

So kindly don’t ask me to weep
For a man who will soon surely reap
Lots of wealth from connections
(While dodging elections!)
My retort would be something you’d bleep.

Kevin McCarthy Angles For A Promotion (Limerick)

Monday, September 28th, 2015

House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy is so eager to become Speaker, he’s been making all sorts of promises to Republican party extremists:

Sounding stubbornly tough’s a no-brainer
When campaigning for Speaker, post-Boehner.
You must promise to hew
To each wingnutty view,
And from compromise be an abstainer.

That’s the tack that McCarthy has taken.
No concessions! No deals! He’s unshaken!
He’ll be tough on Obama,
Squash “squishes” with drama.
So if Kev gets that gig, hope’s forsaken.

What’s Next Post-Boehner? (Limerick)

Sunday, September 27th, 2015

Will Boehner’s departure appease
The Tea Party’s wingnut-disease?
Or will it embolden
And make them feel golden–
Resolved to bring all to their knees.

John Boehner Tears (Limerick)

Friday, September 25th, 2015

Boehner Tears (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

At Boehner I frequently curse.
He’s inspired much negative verse.
But of this I am sure:
We’ll soon have to endure
A Republican Speaker who’s worse.

John Boehner’s Open Limerick To Obama

Friday, August 1st, 2014

John Boehner’s Open Limerick To Obama
By Madeleine Begun Kane

How dare you slow implementation
Of a law that is bad for our nation!
You’re impeding our rush
For a law that we’d flush.
Now show leadership! Fix immigration!

Impeachment “Scam” (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 30th, 2014

Impeachment “Scam” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John Boehner appears to be riled.
Dem impeachment talk’s driving him wild:
How dare Dems boost their brand
When impeachment ain’t planned
For that Oval defiler, reviled!


Yesterday, John Boehner called the impeachment notion a “scam” invented by Democrats to excite their base and raise money.

No doubt that will remain Boehner’s claim … right up to the moment the House starts the process to impeach.

Limerick Ode To John Boehner

Saturday, May 31st, 2014

My 2-verse limerick “celebrates” John Boehner, who certainly knows how to be cowardly, evasive, and stupid all at once. Here’s Boehner responding to a question about climate change:

Asked by reporters yesterday if he accepts the scientific consensus that greenhouse gas emissions contribute to global warming, John Boehner demurred on the curious but increasingly familiar grounds that he is not a scientist. “Listen, I’m not qualified to debate the science over climate change,” the House Speaker said. Boehner immediately turned the question to the killing of jobs that would result from any proposal to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, which he asserts with unwavering certainty. (On this question, Boehner is not held back by the fact that he is also not an economist.)

Limerick Ode To John Boehner
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John Boehner, it seems, knows the score;
He’ll be kicked by his “team” out the door
Should he ever concede
What folks know (if they read)
That our climate is changing full-bore.

So Boehner will simply rebuff
Any queries re climate change stuff.
“Can’t debate it he claims;
His “not qualified” aims
To dodge facts, cuz his pals prefer guff.

The “Overrun” Speaker (Limerick)

Saturday, October 19th, 2013

How does John Boehner explain away and excuse his role in the government shutdown?

“I got overrun, that’s what happened.”

The “Overrun” Speaker (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What is Boehner’s excuse? He’s got none,
Meekly claiming he “got overrun.”
He could scarcely be weaker;
His job as the Speaker
Is leading — he’s left it undone.

Clean Messaging (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 8th, 2013

In President Obama’s October 8 news conference about the current budget and debt ceiling stalemate with Republicans, Obama said: “We can’t make extortion routine as part of our democracy.”

Clean Messaging (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

We can’t make extortion routine,
Said Obama, and that’s why a clean
Bill for spending and debt
Is a requisite get,
Else democracy’s sure to careen.

Limerick Ode To The Government Shutdown

Monday, September 30th, 2013

Limerick Ode To The Government Shutdown
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A government shutdown’s arrived–
An avoidable crisis contrived
By the wingnutty House,
Who blackmail and grouse
Over battles they’ve lost and revived.

Open Limerick To “Speaker” Boehner

Monday, September 30th, 2013

Open Limerick To “Speaker” Boehner
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Boehner, while reading the news,
I’m bewildered — it tends to confuse:
Either somebody stole
Your Speakership role,
Or you gave it to Senator Cruz.

Limerick Ode To Republican Hostage-Takers

Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Limerick Ode To Republican Hostage-Takers
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Fail to meet our demands? Then we’ll shoot.
Any deaths will be YOUR fault, to boot.”
That’s the GOP path
On their road laced with wrath.
Bottom line? Seems they don’t give a hoot.

Enough With The Lame Questions! (Limerick)

Monday, May 6th, 2013

Enough With The Lame Questions! (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Here’s a question that’s making me weary:
“Is Barack a lame duck?” — that’s the query.
Pundits ask this with drama,
While blaming Obama.
The true culprits (like Boehner) ain’t teary.

Touring Boehner’s Brain (Limerick)

Friday, March 8th, 2013

John Boehner had a hissy fit over the sequester-caused suspension of White House tours.

“The President is trying to make it tough on members of Congress. It’s just silly. I want to know who is being laid off at the White House. The Capitol is open for tours. We’ve been planning for this for months.”

Perhaps Boehner should have spent those months planning to avoid sequestration.

(Note that the transcript originally read “It’s just sick.” Then at some point, “sick” was changed to “silly.” Since I don’t have access to the audio, I don’t know which one is accurate.)

Touring Boehner’s Brain (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

To save cash, White House tours are curtailed,
But the House tours have NOT been derailed.
So you still can have fun
Seeing nothing get done
On the Hill, watching nonsense unveiled.

Sequestration Blame Game (Limerick)

Friday, February 22nd, 2013

John Boehner’s 2011 PowerPoint presentation provides ample proof that sequestration originated with the Republicans.

But even if we didn’t have that smoking gun slide show, the GOP’s attempt to label it “Obama’s sequester” wouldn’t pass the straight-face test. Here’s Andrew Sullivan making that powerful point:

…I simply cannot see how a political party that has branded itself in favor of drastic spending cuts can somehow win a public debate in which they are now apparently opposing drastic spending cuts, and “blaming” them on Obama. And their branding means that the slow government shutdown we will almost certainly now face will surely stick more to them than to Obama.

Sequestration Blame Game (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

What’s the key to the GOP brand?
Budget cuts that our land can’t withstand.
So it’s laughably lame
That they’re trying to claim
The sequester’s Obama’s scheme grand.

Boehner’s Plan B Gets A Failing Grade (Limerick)

Friday, December 21st, 2012

John Boehner’s Plan B scheme seems to have backfired, forcing him to cancel the vote and endangering his speakership.

Boehner’s Plan B Gets A Failing Grade (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

John Boehner had hoped that Plan B
Would embarrass Obama, you see.
It collapsed on the Speaker.
Job tenure? A squeaker!
Boehner’s stunt gets an F, at most D.

Senryu For Obama

Wednesday, December 12th, 2012

Here’s my response to this New York Times article about the “fiscal cliff” negotiations between Obama and Boehner:

Senryu For Obama:

John Boehner’s con game:
Can’t muster votes. Give me more.
Don’t be fooled again.

Limerick Ode To John Boehner

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

John Boehner’s jobs speech was rather hypocritical, as Greg Sargent points out. Sargent highlights two rather inconsistent sentences:

“If we want to create a better environment for job creation, politicians of all stripes can leave the ‘my way or the highway’ philosophy behind.”

And there was also this:

“Tax increases, however, are not a viable option for the Joint Committee.”

Such hypocrisy cries out for a limerick:

Limerick Ode To John Boehner
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Boehner’s job speech surprised me a tad.
He said, My way or highway is bad.
Sounded promising till
He continued, No bill
Will raise taxes.
Hypocrisy’s sad.

Limerick Ode To A Failed Presidency

Monday, August 1st, 2011

Paul Krugman has it exactly right: The President Surrenders. The debt ceiling deal Obama negotiated with the Republican hostage takers is well beyond terrible. And the ransom Obama paid to the GOP is a presidential error beyond comprehension — one that will make today’s bad economy look like fun and games.

What will it do to the poor, the sick, the elderly, the middle class, and the unemployed? I’m way too depressed to discuss it.

Congratulations, Republicans! You’ve got yourself a right-wing Republican President.

Limerick Ode To A Failed Presidency
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Obama, I’ve had it — you’ve failed.
It was time to be strong, but you bailed.
The Dems needed “bold.”
But instead you got rolled.
You’ve undermined all that we hailed.