Posts Tagged ‘Paul Ryan’

Blame-Game Brawl (Limerick)

Sunday, March 26th, 2017

TrumpCare’s dead, and the Donald is grim,
So he’s thrashing and bashing at whim.
Who’s at fault — Dems or Paul?
Freedom Caucus? We all
Know he’ll NEVER admit that it’s HIM!

“Repeal & Replace,” A 4-Verse Limerick Saga

Friday, March 24th, 2017

Our government once was divided,
A condition Republicans chided.
They would gripe and they’d grouse:
“Ruling Senate and House
Ain’t enough. Give us power three-sided.”

Then it happened — their guy beat our dame!
Now with White House control they’re aflame
To alter our laws
By inserting new flaws
Right away — helping rich folks, their aim.

They began with “repeal and replace,”
An action they vowed they would ace;
First they’d get full control,
Then they’d easily roll
All the Dems — this they promised their base.

But the bill that was key to their game
Has been pulled to the GOP’s shame.
Who’s at fault? No, not Trump,
Nor Paul Ryan. The Grump
Claims the powerless Dems are to blame.

A Happy Retiree? (Limerick)

Friday, March 24th, 2017

John Boehner pretty much predicted today’s events in this article: “Now In Happy Retirement, John Boehner Admits Republicans Will Never Agree on Obamacare Repeal.”

I’m wond’ring if Boehner feels glee
At the TrumpCare affair, cuz no plea
Saved that bill from the brink.
Surely Boehner must think:
“Better Donald and Ryan than me!”

Trump’s Frustration (Limerick)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

On healthcare, Trump gives up the store.
But the wingnuts say “No!” They want more!
Donald throws up his hands
At their endless demands;
It’s golf-time. This feels like a chore.

Republican Cruelty (Limerick)

Thursday, March 23rd, 2017

You think healthcare expenses are rough?
Wait till RyanCare’s passed. It’s so tough
On folks who ain’t rich,
You’ll say, “Life is a bitch!”
Yet some holdouts claim: “NOT mean enough!”

Did Trump Leak His Own Return? (Limerick)

Thursday, March 16th, 2017

Trump’s been bitching about the publication of an old 1040 — a partial tax return that actually makes him look like a successful businessman and that does him no real harm. Moreover, he’s called it “fake news,” even though its validity was confirmed by Trump’s own office. So here’s my theory via limerick:

Dear Donald, the news makes you burn,
And your wiretap fib’s in an urn.
Ryan’s plan is a bust,
And distraction’s a must,
So I’m betting YOU leaked your return.

Marketing A Unicorn (Limerick)

Sunday, January 15th, 2017

There’s an ad with a rather odd twist;
A GOP health ad, whose gist
Is the plan that replaces
Obamacare’s aces…
What a shame such plan DOESN’T exist.

The American Action Network, a conservative advocacy group linked to House GOP leadership, is running an ad claiming that an unidentified Republican “plan will create a health insurance system that has ‘more choices,’ ‘better care,’ and ‘lower costs’ than the ACA.”

You can watch the BS ad here.

What’s A Few Lies Among GOP Friends? (Limerick)

Monday, December 5th, 2016

Add Paul Ryan to the long list of Republicans who are just fine with a GOP president who constantly lies:

“‘I have no way of backing that up,’ Paul Ryan says about President-elect Trump’s tweet claiming millions of Americans voted illegally. ‘It doesn’t matter to me. He won the election.’”

Ryan shrugs at Trump’s lies and tall tales.
For instance, when Trump falsely wails
That sham votes by the mil
Were counted for Hill,
Says Ryan: Trump won. All else pales!

Undoing Undue Optimism (4-Verse Limerick)

Saturday, October 31st, 2015

Most press coverage about the “cleaning the barn” two-year “budget deal,” negotiated by Boehner as he was handing off his Speaker gig to Paul Ryan, is unduly optimistic. It tends to lull us into thinking that the opportunity for House wingnuts to wreak havoc has been largely eliminated for a substantial period of time.

But that really isn’t true. Why not? Because, generally speaking, there are three broad opportunities for Tea Party types to threaten or cause shutdowns.

1: Budget bills.

2: Debt ceiling crises.

3: Appropriation bills.

And, alas, only the first two items on that list were resolved, leaving ample opportunities for essential appropriation bills to be saddled with unacceptable riders. For instance, riders eliminating Obamacare or defunding Planned Parenthood, to name just two. In other words:

Right-wing Republicans can still pursue their goals through riders on appropriations bills—and, if they don’t get their way, shut down the government.

With Ryan as Speaker, don’t think
That we aren’t stuck right on the brink
Of Tea Party trouble.
It still can cause rubble
Through spending bills yet to gain ink.

The fact that the budget’s resolved
And the ceiling on debt ain’t involved,
Should not make you relieved.
If you are, you’re deceived,
Cuz the poison pill risk isn’t solved.

The House must appropriate cash,
Via bills which the wingnuts can trash
Through riders from guys
With Tea Party ties,
Turning programs we need into ash.

If that happens, then what can be done?
Only vetoes, and those aren’t fun.
But the blackmailing Hill
Can’t prevail on such bill!
Are there any good choices? Nay! None.

Paul Ryan REALLY Doesn’t Want To Be Speaker (2-Verse Limerick)

Wednesday, October 21st, 2015

I have read each Paul Ryan demand,
Which he labels “requests.” They won’t stand.
There is no way that raucous
So-called “Freedom Caucus”
Assents, and that’s Ryan’s scheme grand.

When you don’t want a job, then you’re free
To ask for the world, which you see
Is what Ryan has done.
They say “No?” Then he’s won…
And back to his old job he’ll flee.

Appalling Speculation (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Rachel Maddow has temporarily sworn off speculating about Election 2016. But fortunately (or unfortunately) I’ve taken no such pledge:

Appalling Speculation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican race in ’16
Could be Ryan v. Rand — what a scene!
Two Pauls in one bout —
Mass confusion, no doubt.
Neither one’s worth so much as a Bean.*

*Paul Ryan’s anti-abortion rhetoric included a claim that he nicknamed his daughter Liza “Bean” because at seven weeks his “little baby was in the shape of a bean.” Ryan has been accused of stealing this anecdote from the late Nirvana frontman, Kurt Cobain.

Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)

Thursday, February 14th, 2013

I’ve been mystified by the general reaction to Sen. Marco Rubio’s delivery of the GOP response to the State of the Union address.

Yes, his desperate lunge for water looked awkward. Nonetheless, his performance just doesn’t deserve the mockery it’s been getting. In fact, Marco Rubio is the one Republican who worries me.

I find Rubio alarmingly likeable. And I was struck by his ability to lie so convincingly and charmingly.

But I was starting to doubt my own instincts when I came across these comments from Van Jones in response to questioning from CNN anchor Carol Costello:

“Rubio is dangerous for Democrats,” Jones said. “I’m so glad we’re talking about him and we’re joking about him because right when he reached for that water bottle, he was reaching an emotional part of the speech which he stepped on.”

Jones said the while Florida’s junior senator “has an extreme record,” Rubio’s political skill shone through in the last 90 seconds of his speech, which Jones said was “extremely powerful.”

“(Rubio) is to the heart what Paul Ryan is to the head,” Jones said. “This man can connect emotionally.”

Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Although Rubio’s drinking looked gawky,
I’m begging you Dems, don’t get cocky:
He lies better than Ryan
And charm’s underlyin’
His falsehoods. So things could get rocky.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Sore Loser” Romney

Wednesday, November 14th, 2012

Mitt “Sore Loser” Romney doesn’t use the word “bribes” in rationalizing his loss to his donors, but he sure comes mighty close:

A week after losing the election to President Obama, Mitt Romney blamed his overwhelming electoral loss on what he said were big “gifts” that the president had bestowed on loyal Democratic constituencies, including young voters, African-Americans and Hispanics.

In a conference call on Wednesday afternoon with his national finance committee, Mr. Romney said that the president had followed the “old playbook” of wooing specific interest groups — “especially the African-American community, the Hispanic community and young people,” Mr. Romney explained — with targeted gifts and initiatives.

If I understand Romney correctly, winning votes because of policies that benefit the middle class, minorities, and the poor is bad. But winning votes and tons of donor cash because of policies that will make rich people even richer is just fine and dandy. So glad we cleared that up.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Sore Loser” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney is sore-loser cross,
Blaming targeted “gifts” for his loss.
Mitt in essence describes
Good programs as bribes
To Blacks, Youths, Hispanics. What dross!

Open Limerick To Angry Republicans

Monday, November 12th, 2012

Open Limerick To Angry Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republicans rail round the clock:
“How on earth was Mitt beat by Barack?”
They have theories galore,
But they need just one more:
It’s the policies, stupid! Take stock!

Yay! (Celebratory Limerick)

Wednesday, November 7th, 2012

Congratulations to Barack Obama and Joe Biden on their reelection! And yes, it was a mandate.

Yay! (Celebratory Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a thrill in the air. Can you feel it?
Prez Obama has won — can’t repeal it!
The fight was a tough one—
A falsehood-filled rough one.
But despite tries to steal it, Dems seal it.

P.S. Nate Silver was right.

Limerick Ode To Paul “No-Compromise” Ryan

Monday, November 5th, 2012

When it comes to partisan obstructionism, Paul Ryan’s record can’t be beat. And yet he has the audacity to brag about crossing the aisle to get things done.

Limerick Ode To Paul “No-Compromise” Ryan
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“No-Compromise” Ryan is blessed
With a talent for lyin’ with zest.
He will brag he’s bipartisan—
Falsity-artisan!
At whoppers Team Romney is best.

Ryan’s Soup Kitchen Visit Doesn’t Wash (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 16th, 2012

The aptly-initialed Paul Ryan pulled quite the PR stunt last week. Did you catch the video of Ryan’s uninvited Ohio soup kitchen visit, and watch him “scrub” an already clean pot?

The head of a northeast Ohio charity says that the Romney campaign last week “ramrodded their way” into the group’s Youngstown soup kitchen so that GOP vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan could get his picture taken washing dishes in the dining hall.

“We’re a faith-based organization; we are apolitical because the majority of our funding is from private donations,” Antal said in a phone interview Monday afternoon. “It’s strictly in our bylaws not to do it. They showed up there, and they did not have permission. They got one of the volunteers to open up the doors.”

He added: “The photo-op they did wasn’t even accurate. He did nothing. He just came in here to get his picture taken at the dining hall.”

Ryan’s Soup Kitchen Visit Doesn’t Wash (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Paul Ryan expects us to cheer:
He’s a soup kitchen fake volunteer!
Watch him scrub a clean pot
In his sham, cooked up spot,
As he schemes to make OUR lives austere.

Limerick Ode To Joe (the “Brawler”) Biden

Friday, October 12th, 2012

Arguments about Social Security and Medicare aside, there’s good news for Senior Citizens in both the Biden/Ryan debate and the Obama/Romney debate: In each instance, the old guy won — Big Time!

Limerick Ode To Joe (the “Brawler”) Biden
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Debating Paul Ryan, Joe won.
Moreover, he won by a ton:
Tough and energized, quick,
Biden pierced Ryan’s schtick.
Prez Obama, now THAT’S how it’s done.

Stanching The “Stench” (Limerick)

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

As a political satirist myself, I was very amused by the brouhaha over Roger Simon’s recent satirical column. I’m referring to his amusing Paul Ryan calls Romney the “Stench” piece that several journalists mistook for straight reporting. As Rick Perry would say, “Oops!”

Stanching The “Stench” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some beliefs are a challenge to quench,
Like “Paul Ryan calls Romney the “Stench.”
A satirical column
Was taken as solemn.
Simon’s mischief made journalists blench.

Paul Ryan’s Stimulus Flimflam (Limerick)

Friday, August 17th, 2012

In one fell swoop, Paul Ryan’s been caught in a web of hypocrisy and lies over Obama’s stimulus package:

After repeated denials, Paul Ryan has admitted he requested stimulus cash even after sharply criticizing the program.

Ryan had denied doing so as recently as Wednesday, when he spoke to ABC’s Cincinnati affiliate, WCPO, in Ohio.

“I never asked for stimulus,” Mitt Romney’s new running mate said. “I don’t recall… so I really can’t comment on it. I opposed the stimulus because it doesn’t work, it didn’t work.”

Two years ago, during an interview on WBZ’s NewsRadio he was asked by a caller if he “accepted any money” into his district. Ryan said he did not.

“I’m not one [of those] people who votes for something then writes to the government to ask them to send us money. I did not request any stimulus money,” the congressman answered.

But as we’ve now learned, Ryan did write letters. He did request stimulus funds.

Paul Ryan’s Stimulus Flimflam (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Paul Ryan’s been caught in a lie
And hypocrisy too — what a guy!
To the stim he said, “No!”
Yet he asked for stim dough,
Then denied that he did it. Pork pie!