Posts Tagged ‘Paul Ryan’

Appalling Speculation (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013

Rachel Maddow has temporarily sworn off speculating about Election 2016. But fortunately (or unfortunately) I’ve taken no such pledge:

Appalling Speculation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican race in ’16
Could be Ryan v. Rand — what a scene!
Two Pauls in one bout –
Mass confusion, no doubt.
Neither one’s worth so much as a Bean.*

*Paul Ryan’s anti-abortion rhetoric included a claim that he nicknamed his daughter Liza “Bean” because at seven weeks his “little baby was in the shape of a bean.” Ryan has been accused of stealing this anecdote from the late Nirvana frontman, Kurt Cobain.

Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)

Thursday, February 14th, 2013

I’ve been mystified by the general reaction to Sen. Marco Rubio’s delivery of the GOP response to the State of the Union address.

Yes, his desperate lunge for water looked awkward. Nonetheless, his performance just doesn’t deserve the mockery it’s been getting. In fact, Marco Rubio is the one Republican who worries me.

I find Rubio alarmingly likeable. And I was struck by his ability to lie so convincingly and charmingly.

But I was starting to doubt my own instincts when I came across these comments from Van Jones in response to questioning from CNN anchor Carol Costello:

“Rubio is dangerous for Democrats,” Jones said. “I’m so glad we’re talking about him and we’re joking about him because right when he reached for that water bottle, he was reaching an emotional part of the speech which he stepped on.”

Jones said the while Florida’s junior senator “has an extreme record,” Rubio’s political skill shone through in the last 90 seconds of his speech, which Jones said was “extremely powerful.”

“(Rubio) is to the heart what Paul Ryan is to the head,” Jones said. “This man can connect emotionally.”

Marco’s Dangerous, Mark My Words (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Although Rubio’s drinking looked gawky,
I’m begging you Dems, don’t get cocky:
He lies better than Ryan
And charm’s underlyin’
His falsehoods. So things could get rocky.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Sore Loser” Romney

Wednesday, November 14th, 2012

Mitt “Sore Loser” Romney doesn’t use the word “bribes” in rationalizing his loss to his donors, but he sure comes mighty close:

A week after losing the election to President Obama, Mitt Romney blamed his overwhelming electoral loss on what he said were big “gifts” that the president had bestowed on loyal Democratic constituencies, including young voters, African-Americans and Hispanics.

In a conference call on Wednesday afternoon with his national finance committee, Mr. Romney said that the president had followed the “old playbook” of wooing specific interest groups — “especially the African-American community, the Hispanic community and young people,” Mr. Romney explained — with targeted gifts and initiatives.

If I understand Romney correctly, winning votes because of policies that benefit the middle class, minorities, and the poor is bad. But winning votes and tons of donor cash because of policies that will make rich people even richer is just fine and dandy. So glad we cleared that up.

Limerick Ode To Mitt “Sore Loser” Romney
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney is sore-loser cross,
Blaming targeted “gifts” for his loss.
Mitt in essence describes
Good programs as bribes
To Blacks, Youths, Hispanics. What dross!

Open Limerick To Angry Republicans

Monday, November 12th, 2012

Open Limerick To Angry Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republicans rail round the clock:
“How on earth was Mitt beat by Barack?”
They have theories galore,
But they need just one more:
It’s the policies, stupid! Take stock!

Yay! (Celebratory Limerick)

Wednesday, November 7th, 2012

Congratulations to Barack Obama and Joe Biden on their reelection! And yes, it was a mandate.

Yay! (Celebratory Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There’s a thrill in the air. Can you feel it?
Prez Obama has won — can’t repeal it!
The fight was a tough one—
A falsehood-filled rough one.
But despite tries to steal it, Dems seal it.

P.S. Nate Silver was right.

Limerick Ode To Paul “No-Compromise” Ryan

Monday, November 5th, 2012

When it comes to partisan obstructionism, Paul Ryan’s record can’t be beat. And yet he has the audacity to brag about crossing the aisle to get things done.

Limerick Ode To Paul “No-Compromise” Ryan
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“No-Compromise” Ryan is blessed
With a talent for lyin’ with zest.
He will brag he’s bipartisan—
Falsity-artisan!
At whoppers Team Romney is best.

Ryan’s Soup Kitchen Visit Doesn’t Wash (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 16th, 2012

The aptly-initialed Paul Ryan pulled quite the PR stunt last week. Did you catch the video of Ryan’s uninvited Ohio soup kitchen visit, and watch him “scrub” an already clean pot?

The head of a northeast Ohio charity says that the Romney campaign last week “ramrodded their way” into the group’s Youngstown soup kitchen so that GOP vice presidential candidate Paul Ryan could get his picture taken washing dishes in the dining hall.

“We’re a faith-based organization; we are apolitical because the majority of our funding is from private donations,” Antal said in a phone interview Monday afternoon. “It’s strictly in our bylaws not to do it. They showed up there, and they did not have permission. They got one of the volunteers to open up the doors.”

He added: “The photo-op they did wasn’t even accurate. He did nothing. He just came in here to get his picture taken at the dining hall.”

Ryan’s Soup Kitchen Visit Doesn’t Wash (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Paul Ryan expects us to cheer:
He’s a soup kitchen fake volunteer!
Watch him scrub a clean pot
In his sham, cooked up spot,
As he schemes to make OUR lives austere.

Limerick Ode To Joe (the “Brawler”) Biden

Friday, October 12th, 2012

Arguments about Social Security and Medicare aside, there’s good news for Senior Citizens in both the Biden/Ryan debate and the Obama/Romney debate: In each instance, the old guy won — Big Time!

Limerick Ode To Joe (the “Brawler”) Biden
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Debating Paul Ryan, Joe won.
Moreover, he won by a ton:
Tough and energized, quick,
Biden pierced Ryan’s schtick.
Prez Obama, now THAT’S how it’s done.

Stanching The “Stench” (Limerick)

Thursday, September 27th, 2012

As a political satirist myself, I was very amused by the brouhaha over Roger Simon’s recent satirical column. I’m referring to his amusing Paul Ryan calls Romney the “Stench” piece that several journalists mistook for straight reporting. As Rick Perry would say, “Oops!”

Stanching The “Stench” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Some beliefs are a challenge to quench,
Like “Paul Ryan calls Romney the “Stench.”
A satirical column
Was taken as solemn.
Simon’s mischief made journalists blench.

Paul Ryan’s Stimulus Flimflam (Limerick)

Friday, August 17th, 2012

In one fell swoop, Paul Ryan’s been caught in a web of hypocrisy and lies over Obama’s stimulus package:

After repeated denials, Paul Ryan has admitted he requested stimulus cash even after sharply criticizing the program.

Ryan had denied doing so as recently as Wednesday, when he spoke to ABC’s Cincinnati affiliate, WCPO, in Ohio.

“I never asked for stimulus,” Mitt Romney’s new running mate said. “I don’t recall… so I really can’t comment on it. I opposed the stimulus because it doesn’t work, it didn’t work.”

Two years ago, during an interview on WBZ’s NewsRadio he was asked by a caller if he “accepted any money” into his district. Ryan said he did not.

“I’m not one [of those] people who votes for something then writes to the government to ask them to send us money. I did not request any stimulus money,” the congressman answered.

But as we’ve now learned, Ryan did write letters. He did request stimulus funds.

Paul Ryan’s Stimulus Flimflam (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Paul Ryan’s been caught in a lie
And hypocrisy too — what a guy!
To the stim he said, “No!”
Yet he asked for stim dough,
Then denied that he did it. Pork pie!

Ryan’s Taxing Plan (Limerick)

Tuesday, August 14th, 2012

Ryan’s Taxing Plan (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republicans love to submit:
“Ryan’s plan will reduce your tax hit.”
Though I’d like to deny
It I can’t, and here’s why:
It is true, if you’re wealthy like Mitt.

Paul Ryan, Educator???

Saturday, July 16th, 2011

The debt ceiling absolutely, positively must be raised to avoid a fiscal meltdown, and the Republican leadership knows it. But they’re saddled with a bunch of ignorant, “Tea Party” Congress-critters whose votes they desperately need.

Ironically, the job of educating them about debt ceiling realities has fallen to Paul Ryan, the Prince of Budget Misinformation.

Here’s what I’m wondering: The “Tea Party” nuts bought Paul Ryan’s lies. Will they believe him when he speaks the truth?

Paul Ryan, Educator???
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Though the GOP leadership’s tryin’
To get Tea Party votes, they ain’t buyin’,
Cuz they’re itchin’ to spike
Any debt ceiling hike.
Now the burden to school them’s on Ryan.

Limerick Ode To Jon Huntsman

Friday, June 3rd, 2011

Presidential wannabe Jon Huntsman’s pandering is rather impressive, especially his gushing about Paul Ryan’s Medicare Demolition Plan in the Wall Street Journal:

I admire Congressman Paul Ryan’s honest attempt to save Medicare. Those who disagree with his approach incur a moral responsibility to propose reforms that would ensure Medicare’s ability to meet its responsibilities to retirees without imposing an unaffordable tax burden on future generations of Americans.

Limerick Ode To Jon Huntsman
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Take a gander at Huntsman’s non-candor,
As he pulls off a Paul Ryan pander.
Seems he’ll say what it takes
In the GOP stakes
To become U.S. prez/chief commander.

Open Limerick To Newt Gingrich

Thursday, May 19th, 2011

Newt Gingrich is still out on his I didn’t say what I said tour. He even tried to get back in Rush Limbaugh’s good graces by claiming his Meet The Press Paul Ryan plan comments had nothing to do with Paul Ryan or his plan.

Open Limerick To Newt Gingrich
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Newt, campaign’s over — fini!
I’ll admit it — I say this with glee.
You insulted Paul Ryan,
And nobody’s buyin’
Your stories — you’re no nominee.

(Lots more Newt Gingrich humor here.)

Don’t Be Shocked, But I Compliment Fox News … Sort Of

Wednesday, May 18th, 2011

It amazes me that anyone could call David Gregory’s Newt Gingrich interview a “gotcha” interview. Yet that’s exactly what Newt’s been doing in the wake of his campaign’s self-destruction.

However, if you read the Meet The Press transcript, it’s clear that nobody trapped Gingrich into condemning Paul Ryan’s Medicare plan as undesirable “right-wing social engineering.”

So here’s my theory: Newt and his fellow Republicans have been coddled and spoiled by Fox News. As a result, many of them have lost their edge and can no longer handle themselves when asked even-handed questions.

I never thought I’d be saying this but…

Thank You Fox News (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

While Fox has been tempting to mock
Cuz its cov’rage is mostly a crock,
Softball questions spoiled Newt,
Who can’t handle a brute
Like Dave Gregory — Fox News, you rock!

UPDATE: To add to my amusement, Newt Gingrich is trying to forbid people from quoting his Ryan Plan criticism in an ad. Here’s Newt: “any ad which quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood. Because I have said publicly those words were inaccurate.”

Lots of luck with that, Newt.

How About A Hypocrisy Ceiling?

Thursday, April 21st, 2011

I love Mat Miller’s new definition of chutzpah:

Republicans who vote for the Ryan plan that adds trillions in debt and who then say the debt limit goes up only over their dead bodies!

That brings me to my latest Limerick:

How About A Hypocrisy Ceiling?
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The GOP debt-ceiling balkers
Are naught but hypocrisy hawkers.
Their plan adds eight trillion
(Not million or billion)
To the debt in a decade — Big Talkers!

Limerick Ode To The Math-Challenged Media

Tuesday, April 12th, 2011

Paul Ryan’s budget plan is both radical and fraudulent. But that doesn’t prevent an astounding number of journalists (who presumably count with their fingers) from treating it with respect and referring to it as “serious” and “bold.”

Limerick Ode To The Math-Challenged Media
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The math-challenged journos who laud
Ryan’s radical plan and applaud,
Say it’s “serious,” “bold,”
But his plan has no hold
On reality — naught but a fraud.

Limerick Ode To Paul Ryan

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

While listening to Rep. Paul Ryan’s (R – WI) State of the Union rebuttal, I realized that he has a certain charm. And that makes him unusually dangerous. Because though his Roadmap for America would be a disaster for this country, his personality could fool people into thinking it’s just what we need.

And that brings me to my latest limerick:

Limerick Ode to Paul Ryan
By Madeleine Begun Kane

I hope that few voters are buyin’
The proposals from Congressman Ryan.
They’re extreme to their core:
Screw the middle class, poor,
And the sick and would cause lots of dyin’.