Posts Tagged ‘GOP Humor’

Cruz Vetting Fiorina as Possible Running Mate (A Limerick Response)

Monday, April 25th, 2016

Just imagine the horror if Cruz
Names Carly for VEEP. Pour the booze!
To see ’em’s to hate ’em
And long to berate ’em.
Even worse, each espouses foul views.

Trump’s Team: “Plane” Incompetent (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 19th, 2016

Prez Trump will be great! You know why?
His reason’s a bit hard to buy:
He will bring a “great team!”
Yet his team it would seem
Can not keep his plane reg’stered to fly.

Open Limerick To Donald Trump

Tuesday, April 19th, 2016

Dear Donald, you whine and seem thrown
By the delegate rules you’d disown.
Being prez is far worse;
More complex and perverse.
So moaning won’t cut it. You’re blown!

Open Limerick To The GOP

Sunday, February 21st, 2016

You’re the “Party of Trump,” GOP.
You created this monster, with glee.
All that bile you can’t sate
Is your fault — the mad state
Of your base — spoon-fed hate at your knee.

Successful Soul-Searching Is Tough Sans A Soul (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 9th, 2015

Conservatives, bummed and bereft,
Due to Donald Trump’s poll number heft,
After searching their brains
To explain his huge gains,
Found the cause: It’s Barack and the Left!

What REALLY Scares Me (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 8th, 2015

The more loathsome Trump’s statements become,
The more popular Donald’s with some.
It’s not Muslims I fear,
But the folks who hold dear
A vile man who’s both evil and dumb.

What’s Next Post-Boehner? (Limerick)

Sunday, September 27th, 2015

Will Boehner’s departure appease
The Tea Party’s wingnut-disease?
Or will it embolden
And make them feel golden–
Resolved to bring all to their knees.

John Boehner Tears (Limerick)

Friday, September 25th, 2015

Boehner Tears (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

At Boehner I frequently curse.
He’s inspired much negative verse.
But of this I am sure:
We’ll soon have to endure
A Republican Speaker who’s worse.

And He’s Out! (Limerick)

Monday, September 21st, 2015

Scott Walker’s dropped out of the race
Cuz apparently Walker can’t face
Polling way under “1.”
So he’s back to the fun
Of destroying Wisconsin apace.

Yet Another GOP Debate Limerick

Friday, September 18th, 2015

After yesterday’s 3-verser about the 2nd GOP debate, you’d think I’d be done. But apparently not:

How I loathe the “He kept us safe” line.
Jeb’s revived it. How dare he — that swine!
Silly me — I’d have sworn
9-11 was born
On Dub’s watch. Were we safe? I’d say nein.

About Last Night (3-Verse Debate Limerick)

Friday, September 18th, 2015

About Last Night (3-Verse Debate Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

As Wednesday’s debate has laid bare,
Donald Trump can spout naught but hot air;
When policy matters
Come up, he’s in tatters.
No detail — just nonsense … and hair.

All his rivals have views I’d forswear.
But at least they have taken some care
To bolster each stand
With some facts, often canned
And untrue — they know fact-checking’s rare.

Fiorina, it seems, was on fire,
And I have to admit I admire
Her talent for lies,
While she’s eyeing the prize
In the fight I’d call “Braggart v. Liar.”

Catastrophic Limerick

Thursday, September 10th, 2015

Catastrophic Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In theory, we have a democracy,
Though some call it a Christian theocracy.
But whatever you deem
Our land, it would seem
That the GOP goal’s kakistocracy.*

*Kakistocracy is “government by the least qualified or most unprincipled citizens.”

Trump’s Empty Pledge (Limerick)

Friday, September 4th, 2015

Does The Donald risk losing his edge
With his RNC loyalty pledge?
No he’ll dredge up some slight–
An excuse for a fight;
“They’re not treating me fair,” he’ll allege.

So if somebody else gets the nod,
This will “prove” that the process was flawed
By “mistreatment” of Trump.
The oath’s simple to dump,
And he’ll run as a third-party “god.”

The GOP’s Primary Quandary

Sunday, August 23rd, 2015

The GOP’s Primary Quandary (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican pols are morose
Cuz The Donald, a man they think gross,
Keeps surging in polls
And defeating their goals.
Basic glitch? Their base LOVES “grandiose.”

My Debate Prediction (Limerick)

Thursday, August 6th, 2015

My Debate Prediction
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Will Trump, while debating, “play nice?”
If he does, Trump will pay a steep price,
Cuz “nice” AIN’T what fans bought;
With just “nice” he’s got naught.
One mild “slight?” He’ll be “Trump” in a trice.

Trump’s Trump Card (Limerick)

Sunday, August 2nd, 2015

Trump’s Trump Card (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When he’s asked if he’ll run “Independent,”
Trump’s response is with warnings resplendent:
If the RNC’s “fair”
Then I won’t, he’ll declare,
Which explains why Trump-fear is ascendant.

What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, July 30th, 2015

What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gilmore’s entered the race. What a snore!
(Does the GOP really need MORE?)
Sixteen guys and one gal–
Most with no rationale
For believing they’ll get to the fore.

Just what keeps them all willing to stump,
As their poll numbers tumble and slump?
While they stand at the brink,
I suppose most pols think:
“I must surely be better than Trump!”

Debate Spot “Strategery” (Limerick)

Monday, July 27th, 2015

The guys (and one gal) vying for the Republican presidential nomination are in a bind. With Donald Trump in the picture, it’s virtually impossible to get press coverage and boost poll numbers, even if you say something crazy. But I do have a “modest proposal” for them:

Debate Spot “Strategery” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Many would-be debaters are freaking
Cuz that spot on the stage that they’re seeking
Is elusive at best;
They’ve been Trumped by a pest.
Here’s a tip for attention: Try streaking.

Help! I Can’t Stop Writing Trump Limericks!

Tuesday, July 21st, 2015

Help! I Can’t Stop Writing Trump Limericks!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The race has been thrown out of kilter
By Trump, who is lacking a filter.
I have three more lines left,
But I’m sadly bereft
Because “builder,” alas, ain’t spelled “builter.”

Republican Just Deserts (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 15th, 2015

Republican Just Deserts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republican pols are distraught
Cuz their base supports “Trumpian Thought.”
But their years of supporting
Ill will and distorting
The truth gave them just what they wrought.