Archive for March, 2012

Mitt’s “Telling” Message (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 28th, 2012

Mitt Romney has big plans to “eliminate government programs and shutter cabinet agencies.” Which ones are on his dump-list? He refuses to say, responding, with a warped sort of honesty, that providing specifics could cost him the election.

Or as Jonathan Chait amusingly puts it: “One of the things I have found in previous elections is that announcing my plans makes people want to vote against me!”

Mitt’s “Telling” Message (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

There are agencies Mitt doesn’t like
And programs he’s planning to spike.
But he won’t tell us which
He’s intending to ditch.
You want pre-voting facts? Take a hike.

No Photo Finish For Newt … Just Photos

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

This news made me laugh: “Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich’s campaign tacked on a new fundraising effort Monday, charging supporters $50 a pop for anyone who wants a photo with the former House speaker.”

No Photo Finish For Newt … Just Photos
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The latest Newt news is a beaut:
You must pay for a photo with Newt —
Fifty dollars per pic.
Here’s a fund raising trick:
I’d pay more not to pose with that brute.

Limerick Ode To Embedless Newt

Tuesday, March 27th, 2012

Newt Gingrich is going to be very lonely on the campaign trail: He just lost his last two embedded print reporters.

Limerick Ode To Embedless Newt
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Poor Gingrich, his embeds have fled.
Print journos won’t follow his tread.
Those so-called “elites”
Have found far better beats.
Were he prez he’d say, “Off with their head.”

Limerick Ode To The “Etch-a-Sketch” Candidate

Wednesday, March 21st, 2012

When you represent a candidate who’s famed for his pandering opinion changes, it might be best to eliminate “Etch-a-Sketch” from your vocabulary:

Instead of rejoicing in what looks to be the beginning of the end of the Republican presidential race, however, Romney and his team are on the defensive over an Etch-a-Sketch. Yes, an Etch-a-Sketch.

Erik Fehrnstrom, one of Romney’s top aides, made the unfortunate comparison between his candidate and the child’s toy during a television interview on CNN on Wednesday morning.

“Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign,” said Fehrnstrom. “Everything changes. It’s almost like an Etch-a-Sketch – you can kind of shake it up, and we start all over again.”

Limerick Ode To The “Etch-a-Sketch” Candidate
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Romney’s policy viewpoints are fleeting.
They’re not helping him? Watch his retreating.
First he’s for, then agin,
As his mouthpieces spin.
Mitt needs Etch-a-Sketch-YouTube deleting.

Yet Another Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh

Wednesday, March 14th, 2012

I was glad to read that the Rush Limbaugh ad boycott is still going strong.

Yet Another Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rush’s national ads are suspended.
Will his wingnutty program be ended?
Though we don’t know for sure,
I’ll bet there’s no cure—
That his rep simply can not be mended.

(Related Post: Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh)

Mitt’s Campaign Heats Up (Limerick)

Monday, March 12th, 2012

If I must see bare-chested Republican politicians, I definitely prefer Mitt Romney over Newt.

Mitt’s Campaign Heats Up (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Is Romney a hottie? Darn tootin’!
His bare-chested pics have folks rootin’.
Are his people at peace
With this photo release?
I’m betting his team copied Putin.

A Limerick Letter To Southern Republicans

Saturday, March 10th, 2012

I can’t imagine that you Southern Republicans are falling for Mitt Romney’s grits-liking pander. But here’s a limerick, just in case any of you think “unofficial Southerner” Romney is being sincere with “y’all.”

A Limerick Letter To Southern Republicans
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Romney’s playing an “out of town game,”
By pretending that he’s just the same
As you Southern state folks.
He likes grits? What a hoax,
With duping “y’all” voters his aim.

Limerick Ode To An Endless Republican Primary

Thursday, March 8th, 2012

Rick Santorum’s campaign is stunningly inept in its failure to qualify for sundry ballots.

Yes, I know that Santorum’s campaign is woefully under-funded. And that he never expected to get this far. But at some point, I can’t help wondering whether Santorum is using the faith-based method of ballot qualification.

Of course all this begs the question: Why the heck can’t Mitt Romney finish him off?

Limerick Ode To An Endless Republican Primary
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Rick Santorum’s campaign is inept,
Under-funded, abysmally prepped.
Yet the contest is split:
Hairline wins made by Mitt
Where the Gov should have easily swept.

What Romney Wants, What He Really, Really Wants (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

What Romney Wants, What He Really, Really Wants (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Mitt Romney would love all this over:
Nomination sewn up, in like clover,
All primed for a fight
To be Prez with the right
To ride Limo One topped with Rover.

International Women’s Day Limerick

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

Tomorrow, March 8, is International Women’s Day. So I thought I’d celebrate with a limerick:

International Women’s Day Limerick
By Madeleine Begun Kane

U.S. women are under attack.
We’ve gone backwards, alas and alack.
Our plight is irrational.
Mark International
Women’s Day — Get off our back!

(Related Post: Limerick Ode To International Women’s Day)

Political Spam of the Day (Limerick)

Tuesday, March 6th, 2012

Political Spam of the Day (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

“Stand by Rush,” shrieks the mail in my box,
Which rails against Rush’s “hard knocks.”
But I don’t give a damn
About GOP spam.
They must think that I like to watch Fox.

(Related Post: Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh)

Limerick Ode To Super Tuesday

Tuesday, March 6th, 2012

Limerick Ode To Super Tuesday
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Super Tuesday’s arrived at long last.
Will Mitt’s wins be decisively vast?
Will his delegate count
Impressively mount,
Thereby ending the press fun too fast?

Poor Mitt (Limerick)

Monday, March 5th, 2012

I’m starting to think Ann Romney doesn’t want to be First Lady. Why else would someone with a family net worth of $250 million make stupidly transparent remarks like this?

“We can be poor in spirit, and I don’t even consider myself wealthy, which is an interesting thing, it can be here today and gone tomorrow.”

Poor Mitt (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Dear Mitt, you should tell your wife, Ann,
To stop trying to help out her man.
For your cause, it ain’t healthy
To claim you ain’t wealthy:
Ann’s not feeling rich doesn’t scan.

Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh

Monday, March 5th, 2012

After decades of misogyny, talk radio bully Rush Limbaugh is finally paying a bit of a price: Advertisers are fleeing, and Republican pols, who previously bowed down to him, are publicly (albeit mildly) criticizing him. Rush was even forced to give a just-pretend apology to his latest target, Sandra Fluke:

Recently, [Rush Limbaugh] made himself and the political right look ridiculous by verbally abusing Sandra Fluke, the Georgetown University law student who tried to testify before Congress about the cost of birth control.

Mr. Limbaugh twisted Ms. Fluke’s comments beyond recognition. In her statement (now posted on YouTube), Ms. Fluke drew attention to a friend who was prescribed birth control pills for cancer treatment, and had to pay for the treatment out of pocket. She said nothing whatsoever about her own sex life, or about her friend’s sex life.

But in Mr. Limbaugh’s propaganda chamber, her testimony became a declaration of sexual promiscuity. He accused her of expecting taxpayers to pay her to have sex, and suggested that she post videos of herself having sex on the Internet. He called her a “slut” and a “prostitute” and said she was “round heeled.”

Career-ending? I doubt it. In fact, Limbaugh remains an inspiration to many fellow bullies. And there’s even a Rally For Rush movement afoot.

Nevertheless, the movement against Rush is a step in the right direction. And this wingnut radio spectacle sure is fun to behold.

Limerick Ode To Rush Limbaugh
By Madeleine Begun Kane

A rebuke for Rush Limbaugh at last,
As his smears leave good people aghast.
He’s lost ads — it’s no fluke –
Even managed to spook
Those who always sucked up in the past.