Archive for the ‘Election Satire’ Category

Public Service Message

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2015

No need to closely follow the Donald Trump/Jeb Bush insult fest. I’ve summarized it here as a public service:

“You’re a weak-on-immigration weenie.”

“No. You’re the weenie.”

“You’re a Common Core weenie.”

“No. You’re the weenie.”

“You’re a low-energy weenie.”

“No. You’re the weenie.”

“You’re an illegals-loving weenie.”

“You’re a Hillary-loving, abortion-loving weenie.”

“You’re a Spanish-speaking weenie.”

“You’re a liberal, germaphobic weenie.”

Just think of all the time I’ve saved you.

You’re welcome.

Limerick Ode To Ben Carson

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2015

Limerick Ode To Ben Carson
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Don’t be duped by Ben Carson’s soft tone.
His positions should chill to the bone.
Though he never sounds peckish,
His views are Glenn-Beckish–
Ben’s top dog in the dog-whistle zone.

Donald Trump, Pied Piper Of Pols (Limerick)

Monday, August 31st, 2015

Donald Trump, Pied Piper Of Pols (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In The Donald’s fantastical tune,
He’s the hero – the movie’s “High Noon.”
He’ll end gangs, build a wall
That’s a zillion feet tall;
With a wand wave, all enemies swoon.

Something For Trump To Tweet About (6-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, August 25th, 2015

Something For Trump To Tweet About (6-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Trump loves to post petulant tweets,
Whiny diatribes, vengeance-spurred bleats.
So his Twitter feed’s littered
With comments, embittered;
From a feud Donald never retreats.

If anyone else posted guff
Like Trump, (s)he’d be kicked in the duff–
Quickly out of a job
And shamed by a mob–
But when Trump does it, folks say, “Hot stuff!”

Groundless grievances gin up his life.
He thrives on them, loving the strife
He creates every day
With his vicious display.
Just imagine it — being Trump’s wife!

Within what other country could Trump,
A boorish, vindictive old grump,
With “huge” secret plans
Attract so many fans,
Who greet him with cheers on the stump?

I fear for our wonderful nation,
Filled with folks who think Trump’s our salvation;
This man who dispenses
Such daily offenses
Somehow fills them with endless elation.

Please tell me The Donald can’t win,
Cuz the drumbeat for Trump is a sin.
You might as well vote
For “Drunk Unc” or a goat…
And a goat, unlike Trump, has thick skin.

The GOP’s Primary Quandary

Sunday, August 23rd, 2015

The GOP’s Primary Quandary (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The Republican pols are morose
Cuz The Donald, a man they think gross,
Keeps surging in polls
And defeating their goals.
Basic glitch? Their base LOVES “grandiose.”

Limerick Ode To Ben Carson

Thursday, August 20th, 2015

Limerick Ode To Ben Carson
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Carson’s soft-spoken drone is misleading.
To extremists, there’s nothing he’s ceding:
As prez he would order
Drone strikes at our border.
My prescription? Ben’s brain could use treating.

Why Trump’s Winning (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 19th, 2015

Why Trump’s Winning (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

In the GOP would-be-prez race,
Fact-denial’s infected its base.
Pols created a hell
Where their voters can’t tell
Truth from lies — where The Donald’s an ace.

Limerick Ode To Heartless Huckabee

Monday, August 17th, 2015

Headline of the Day: Huckabee Backs Denying Abortion To 10-Year-Old Raped By Stepfather.

When a ten-year-old’s raped, you would think
That not even a wingnut would sink
To abortion denial.
But Huck with a smile
Makes a make-her-deliver-law stink.

Be Careful What We Wish For (2-Verse Limerick)

Sunday, August 9th, 2015

Be Careful What We Wish For (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Picture Trump with the GOP nod.
Yes I know that sounds terribly odd.
But its base is bizarre,
And he’s gotten this far…
Plus his rivals are nearly as flawed.

In theory, this might be a boon
For the Democrats: “Clinton v. Loon!”
There are risks though, galore:
If George Bush could “Trump” Gore,
Odds are strong we’d (s)elect this buffoon.

How Trump Will Save Our Nation (Limerick)

Sunday, August 9th, 2015

How Trump Will Save Our Nation (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

It seems Trump is a very tough cat.
He’ll whip China and Mexico stat
And exact retribution.
His magic solution?
Calling “mean” countries “ugly” and “fat.”

My Debate Prediction (Limerick)

Thursday, August 6th, 2015

My Debate Prediction
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Will Trump, while debating, “play nice?”
If he does, Trump will pay a steep price,
Cuz “nice” AIN’T what fans bought;
With just “nice” he’s got naught.
One mild “slight?” He’ll be “Trump” in a trice.

Trump’s Trump Card (Limerick)

Sunday, August 2nd, 2015

Trump’s Trump Card (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When he’s asked if he’ll run “Independent,”
Trump’s response is with warnings resplendent:
If the RNC’s “fair”
Then I won’t, he’ll declare,
Which explains why Trump-fear is ascendant.

What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, July 30th, 2015

What Can They Be Thinking? (2-Verse Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Gilmore’s entered the race. What a snore!
(Does the GOP really need MORE?)
Sixteen guys and one gal–
Most with no rationale
For believing they’ll get to the fore.

Just what keeps them all willing to stump,
As their poll numbers tumble and slump?
While they stand at the brink,
I suppose most pols think:
“I must surely be better than Trump!”

Dear Media: Stop Already with the “Jeb’s The Sane Republican” Meme!

Wednesday, July 29th, 2015

Jeb’s the cure for the GOP mess
Cuz he’s civil — so sayeth the press.
Yet as gov, Jeb was rotten!
Is Schiavo forgotten?
Jeb’s transgressions caused tragic distress.

Debate Spot “Strategery” (Limerick)

Monday, July 27th, 2015

The guys (and one gal) vying for the Republican presidential nomination are in a bind. With Donald Trump in the picture, it’s virtually impossible to get press coverage and boost poll numbers, even if you say something crazy. But I do have a “modest proposal” for them:

Debate Spot “Strategery” (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Many would-be debaters are freaking
Cuz that spot on the stage that they’re seeking
Is elusive at best;
They’ve been Trumped by a pest.
Here’s a tip for attention: Try streaking.

Too Bad The Donald Can’t Be Docked For Doxing (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 21st, 2015

Not that I’m a fan of Sen. Lindsey Graham, but Trump’s giving Graham’s private cell phone number out to the public is disgusting! I wish someone would do the same with Trump’s number, giving him a taste of his own caddish medicine.

And please don’t tell me two wrongs don’t make a right. Donald Trump deserves that and much more … including this limerick:

Lindsey Graham must buy a new cell;
He’s been doxed into mean-caller hell
By the Donald, who thinks
All opponents are finks,
Deserving a Trump “diss and tell.”

Limerick Ode To Donald J. Trump State Park

Tuesday, July 21st, 2015

New York’s beautiful Taconic State Parkway is marred by signage litter; ostentatious signs directing people to the non-park known as Donald J. Trump State Park. (Rachel Maddow explains the history of this non-park with its misleading, annoying signs. She even takes us for a tour in this entertaining video.)

Alas, this just-pretend park sits right between our Bayside, Queens house and our tiny summer cottage in Putnam Valley. So those damn signs routinely haunt and taunt us, which brings me to this limerick:

There’s a fine New York road, the Taconic;
With its lush mountain views, it’s a tonic…
Or it was in the past.
But the signs it’s amassed
For the Donald J. Trump Park? Demonic!

Help! I Can’t Stop Writing Trump Limericks!

Tuesday, July 21st, 2015

Help! I Can’t Stop Writing Trump Limericks!
By Madeleine Begun Kane

The race has been thrown out of kilter
By Trump, who is lacking a filter.
I have three more lines left,
But I’m sadly bereft
Because “builder,” alas, ain’t spelled “builter.”

Republican Just Deserts (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 15th, 2015

Republican Just Deserts (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Republican pols are distraught
Cuz their base supports “Trumpian Thought.”
But their years of supporting
Ill will and distorting
The truth gave them just what they wrought.

“Lame” Critiques (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 15th, 2015

“Lame” Critiques (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

So minimum wage laws are “lame?”
Sounds inane, but it’s Scott Walker’s claim.
What is “lame” is that Scott
Uses words without thought–
Schoolyard slams without substance. For shame!