Archive for the ‘Election Satire’ Category

Trump Puts Press At Risk (Limerick)

Thursday, August 9th, 2018

Headline: “Media boost security as Trump ramps up ‘enemy’ rhetoric”

When the media covers Trump rallies,
It’s as risky as ent’ring dark allies.
Donald’s shown us his cards,
So the press now needs guards
Due to menacing crowds and threat tallies.

The GOP’s “Blue Wave” Blues (Limerick)

Thursday, August 9th, 2018

Headline: “4 signs of a blue wave from Election Day: Republicans should be running scared”

Most Republican leaders see Trump
As creating a GOP slump.
But not Donald! He’ll brag
And pretend the “Trump drag”
Is “fake news,” as our “blue wave” odds jump.

Russia Meddling Quatrain Duo

Friday, August 3rd, 2018

Donald’s lawyer is rather a cut up,
Saying Mueller should “put up or shut up.”
While Rudy tells lies and lets loose,
Mueller quietly tightens the noose.

*****

Stop trying to peddle
the weasel-word “meddle.”
‘Twas a Russian attack,
so soft-ped’ling it’s whack.

*****

Trump Trumped By Leaks (Limerick)

Tuesday, May 15th, 2018

Trump Tweet: “The so-called leaks coming out of the White House are a massive over exaggeration put out by the Fake News Media in order to make us look as bad as possible. With that being said, leakers are traitors and cowards, and we will find out who they are!”

Though he frequently rails about leaks,
When he ran Trump aired NO such critiques;
Once a WikiLeaks fan,
Now an anti-leak man.
He’s the target? Trump bellows and shrieks.

A Hairy Rick Saccone Theory (Limerick)

Wednesday, March 14th, 2018

Crazy-sounding, but true:

Why did Rick Saccone’s run turned to ash?
Why’d his edge disappear in a flash?
Here’s my fav’rite absurd
Excuse that I’ve heard:
Rick Saccone “should have lost the mustache.”

From the Washington Examiner:

Frustrated by Saccone’s performance, some Republicans have gone so far as to zero in on his mustachioed appearance.

“It’s a porn stache,” said one Pennsylvania-based GOP strategist. “He should have lost the mustache.”

Mitch v. Mueller (Limerick)

Tuesday, January 30th, 2018

One of today’s many annoying headlines: “McConnell Sees No Need to Protect Mueller From President Trump”

No need to shield Mueller, says Mitch.
No chance he’ll be tossed in a ditch.
Undermine him? You jest!
No one has such a quest!
And if something goes wrong? Life’s a bitch!

Trump v. Kelly (Limerick)

Thursday, January 18th, 2018

Trump is mad at John Kelly. Here’s why:
Re the Donald’s campaign, he let fly
Quite a wall-vow affront;
It’s surprisingly blunt.
“Uninformed,” though, sounds better than “lie.”

Trump’s Now and Future Limericks

Tuesday, January 9th, 2018

You probably know that Trump’s chimed in on the “Oprah presidential run” conversation. But did you also know that Trump’s already composed two Oprah limericks — one for this year and one for 2020?

Fortunately for my readers, I managed to get hold of the only copy:

Trump’s 2018 Limerick:

Though Oprah’s unlikely to run,
I’ll beat her and have lots of fun.
I know her real well
And I think that she’s swell,
But she’ll surely be YUUUGELY outdone.

Trump’s 2020 Limerick:

Dopey Oprah is sorry she ran.
Being prez is a job for a man.
And besides, it’s not clear
She was even born here.
She’s a mopey old flash in the pan.

More BS From Moore (Limerick)

Saturday, December 16th, 2017

Headline: “Roy Moore: ‘Battle Is Not Over’ in Senate Race”

The battle’s not over, says Moore.
All your calls to concede, I’ll ignore
The election was flawed.
I’m sure there was fraud.
So send money. Keep funding my war.

Limerick Ode To Roy Moore Sycophant, Pastor Flip Benham

Tuesday, November 21st, 2017

Headline: “Pastor Says Moore Dated Teenagers for Their ‘Purity’”

A flip pastor says Moore dated teens
For their “purity.” I don’t know beans
About biblical teaching,
But what sort of preaching
Overlooks what indecency means?

GOP Pols Only Have Themselves To Blame (Limerick)

Friday, November 17th, 2017

PoliticalWire Headline: “The Conservative War on the Media Backfires”

Republican pols have been training
Their voters, through lie-packed complaining,
To reject any news
That might challenge their views–
A great aid to Moore’s Senate campaigning.

Who Ya Gonna Believe? (Limerick)

Saturday, November 11th, 2017

Russia meddled, our experts maintain;
Our Democracy’s suffered a stain.
But Donald would rather
Buy Putin’s false blather;
Trump’s owned by Vlad’s hard driving reign.

A Limerick For New York’s Mayor

Monday, November 6th, 2017

Bill de Blasio’s reign has been poor,
And I’m desp’rate to show him the door.
But the others are worse,
So it seems (with a curse)
I’ll vote “Bill,” but won’t say “Je l’adore.”

Going Nuclear To Sell Books (Limerick)

Saturday, November 4th, 2017

I never liked Donna Brazile.
But she’s worse than I thought — just a shill
For her publisher, spurring
Divisiveness, blurring
The truth, hurting Dems, selling swill.

Trump’s Next Move (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 31st, 2017

Is Mueller about to be canned?
Does Trump have a “massacre” planned?
Will Congress preempt
Any heinous attempt,
Leaving Donald verklempt and unmanned?

The Fog of Trump Lore (Limerick)

Monday, October 30th, 2017

Mueller’s news has the public agog,
So the White House keeps drumming up fog.
Mass confusion’s its aim;
Soon the Donald will claim
That Clinton’s been beating her dog.

The Non-Case For Hillary’s Collusion (Limerick)

Saturday, October 28th, 2017

Hill colluded with Russia? Explain
How that makes any sense, cuz my brain
Can not fathom collusion
To cause a profusion
Of harm to her own prez campaign.

Mueller’s Halloween Surprise?

Friday, October 27th, 2017

Is Trump in the throes of affrightment
Over news about Mueller’s indictment?
Who’s been charged? We don’t know
Cuz it’s sealed. Even so,
I’m aglow with a growing excitement.

A Trumpian Perspective (Limerick)

Saturday, September 30th, 2017

Unsupportive opinions? Flake views!
Unflattering numbers? A ruse!
No matter the topic,
The Donald’s myopic;
If it isn’t pro-Trump, it’s “Fake News!”

What Happened? I’ll Tell You What Happened! (Limerick)

Thursday, September 14th, 2017

You don’t wish to read Hillary’s book?
That’s just fine, but don’t ask us to brook
All your bitching and moaning,
Begrudging and groaning;
It is YOU who gave US Trump the Crook!