Please don’t fall for the GOP lies About “unity.” Buyer be wise! It does have a nice ring, But their “unity” thing Just applies to straight, white, Christian guys!
Dear Trump, you sound terribly mad. I’m confused: You just won. Why so sad? You di’n’t win by enough? Oh, poor baby! That’s rough! But there’s always your dear old pal, Vlad.
And no, I am NOT making this up: According to Trump, Haley was in charge of security during the January 6 Capitol attack, and Haley turned down Trump’s (non-existent) offer of 10,000 National Guard soldiers. (Apparently, the former South Carolina governor and U.N. ambassador became Speaker of the House when nobody was looking.)
Here’s my Open Limerick To Cognitively-Challenged Trump:
Pelosi’s a female, it’s true. So is Haley, and both oppose YOU. Nonetheless, it’s unwise To (while spinning your lies) Confuse those two gals, as you spew.
The House GOP is a mess. And it seems to be anyone’s guess When they’ll fin’lly elect A new Speaker. They’re wrecked! Is it glee you detect? Oh my, yes!
“Trump’s defense needs more time!” That’s the plea From John Lauro, last week in DC. But the judge should be tough, Cuz oddly enough John had time for “full Ginsburg” TV.
Though Donald’s the lowest of low, His infamy slide’s been too slow. But the courts are all humming, And justice is coming; Trump’s finally battling a pro.
Another indictment’s been filed, And Donald’s both anxious and riled And undoubtedly frightened. The vise has been tightened, And law shall prevail! (“Will be wild!”)
Smart-Ass Ron: Had you asked someone sane About venues to launch your campaign, (S)he’d have warned “Do Not Do A Twitter Debut!” (Sound advice you’d have viewed with disdain.)
Four more years of a man who’s our bane? A man with a venomous brain? What’s the crux of the matter? Trump’s vile — a Mad Hatter! The GOP’s choice is insane!
Donald’s run has been met with a shrug. Will he fin’ly be squished like a bug? He announced and was trounced In reviews, soon pronounced “Tired” news. Please indict that damn thug!
Donald thinks that his run’s a solution To imminent crime-prosecution. But indictments shall come, And that law-breaking bum Will be tried and soon face retribution.
You think women have too many rights And that MORE guns will somehow stop fights. You’ll vote for a liar; A guy you’d not hire To baby or dog-sit. That bites!
When I ask myself, “How can it be
That no matter what Donald does, he
Somehow keeps a tight hold
On his fan base,” I’m told
That the answer’s a “huge BOOBOISIE.”
Trump’s in great legal trouble. Hooray!
He needs aid on the double — today!
But attorneys with skill
Won’t bend to his will;
The response he keeps getting is NAY!
Boris Johnson’s resigned, at long last.
But at least he admits his time’s passed.
He’s not tried to incite
Armed mobs just for spite…
Or promised loyal felons a blast.
Headline: “Pence: ‘We must not rest’ until abortion is outlawed in every state”
On One/Six, Pence behaved like a man;
He helped scuttle Trump’s scurrilous plan.
But enough with the praise!
Re abortion, he’d raze
Women’s rights with a nationwide ban.
Trump’s Sore-Winner Speech (Limerick)
Wednesday, January 24th, 2024A sane presidential candidate would have been pleased after his double-digit New Hampshire primary win over Nikki Haley. But not Donald! He was so furious over Haley’s concession speech vow to remain in the race, that he seethed instead of celebrating:
“Mr. Trump delivered a crude, bitter victory speech attacking Ms. Haley; her chief surrogate, Gov. Chris Sununu of New Hampshire; and the state’s primary process…”
Tags: Campaign Humor, Campaign Satire, Donald Trump, Election Humor, Election Satire, Haley, New Hampshire, Nikki Haley, Republican Primary, Republicans Humor, Trump, Trump Speech
Posted in Campaign 2024, Campaign Humor, Donald Trump, Election 2024, Election Satire, Political Commentary, Political Limericks, Political Speeches, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Trump | Comments Off on Trump’s Sore-Winner Speech (Limerick)