Archive for the ‘Election Satire’ Category

Trump’s Bitches And Sulks As Poll Numbers Slump (Limerick)

Sunday, August 18th, 2019

Headline: “Trump Blames ‘Racism Witch Hunt’ for Low Poll Numbers”

Donald’s numbers seem stuck in a slump,
And the media caused it, claims Trump:
It’s “a Racism Witch Hunt.”
(His pass-the-blame glitch-hunt —
Self-pitying tweet from his rump.)

Open Limerick To Democratic Pols

Tuesday, July 23rd, 2019

No matter what Democrats do,
We’ll be labelled a socialist crew.
Don’t deny or adapt;
By such spews, don’t be trapped.
And, instead, to your conscience be true.

A Trumpian 4th (2-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, July 4th, 2019

Donald’s pulling out all of the stops,
Treating tanks and our troops just like props;
Using taxpayer cash,
He’s subverting this bash
To flex his tyrannical chops.

Trump’s despoiling the 4th; he’s hell-bent
On saluting himself; this event
Is to boost reelection.
He fears our rejection.
Let’s make sure that to prison he’s sent.

Limerick Ode To The Campaigner-In-Chief

Wednesday, June 19th, 2019

Donald’s running again? What a “shock!”
His “relaunch” (so-called) is a crock.
He treats his campaign
As his job. That’s been plain
From the day of his swearing-in squawk.

If Trump Could Write Limericks

Thursday, June 13th, 2019

If Trump could write limericks:

Dear nations, both friendly and not,
I need dirt. Send me all that you’ve got.
You’ll be might’ly rewarded,
If Dems are all thwarted.
Name your price. I am easily bought.

Open Limerick To Joe Biden

Wednesday, June 12th, 2019

I joked, yesterday, that because Biden called Trump an “existential threat,” dictionaries were bracing for the existential threat of site crashes.

But apparently I’m not quite through with the topic. So here’s my limerick:

Dear Joe: Dumping Donald’s essential.
His evil’s widespread — pestilential.
He’s a “threat existential,”
His wrongs, consequential.
But the use of big words? Unprudential!

Press Coverage Matters (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 11th, 2019

New York Times Headline: “Elizabeth Warren Has Lots of Plans. Together, They Would Remake the Economy.”

Some regard Warren’s planning with boredom.
Others cheer her. Some say: “Can’t afford ’em!”
Hill had detailed plans too
But, alas, few folks knew
Cuz the media mostly ignored ’em.

I Dislike Likability (Limerick)

Sunday, May 5th, 2019

Headline: “Is ‘Likability’ Biased Towards Men?”

“Likability” — what a odd word;
It appears that most any male turd
Can be deemed by the press
As more likable — yes —
Than a non-turd-like female. Absurd!

Astray (Limerick)

Saturday, February 23rd, 2019

The Donald has led us astray
In ev’ry conceivable way.
Is there any path out
From under this lout?
Twenty-twenty is TOO far away!

Limerick Ode To Michael Flynn

Wednesday, December 19th, 2018

“Flynn gets slapped for lawyer stunt claiming he was somehow set up”

If you’re tempted to try legal stunts,
Take this lesson from Flynn, who’s a dunce:
When you feign being set up,
Your troubles won’t let up;
Fed’ral judges detest such affronts!

Trump’s Team Of Crooks (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 18th, 2018

Slate: “The DOJ has made a pretty thorough case that the Trump campaign was filled with crooks.”

Trump’s campaign-team was teeming with crooks
It surely was one for the books;
His affinity for
That felonious corps
Was driven by greed. (Not good looks.)

Trump’s Pre-Election Middle Class Tax-Cut Con (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 18th, 2018

Headline: “Mnuchin Backs Off Trump’s Promise of 10% Middle-Class Tax Cut”

Just before the most recent election,
Donald tweeted a base-bait confection,
Falsely pledging a boon
For the middle class — soon!
Phantom tax cuts – a Trump misdirection.

Trump Can Forget the “Edwards Defense” (Limerick)

Friday, December 14th, 2018

Trump’s hush money payments to gals
Is NOT a big deal, say his pals.
Trump can use the defense
That Edwards used; hence
Donald wins. (That’s their flawed rationales.)

But the “shield-wife defense” won’t apply
To Donald Trump’s pay-offs. Here’s why:
Those who made them concede
That their goal was impede
An election loss. Donald — Buh-Bye!

Trump Runs Away From Pence? (Limerick)

Wednesday, December 5th, 2018

Headline: “Trump’s Team Considers Removing Mike Pence from 2020 Ticket”

Will the Donald give Mike Pence the boot?
That’s the re-elect rumor. Each coot
Deserves only the worst.
Yes for vengeance, I thirst,
And I’m hoping this question is moot.

Death Of Democracy? (Limerick)

Tuesday, December 4th, 2018

Headline: “Let’s stop using euphemisms; American democracy is under attack

Our democracy’s under attack;
Voting systems are all out of whack.
Gerrymand’ring has wrecked
Our nation. Unchecked,
We’ll “elect” only quack, flak, and hack.

That Pesky Emoluments Clause (Limerick)

Monday, December 3rd, 2018

Headline: “DC, Md. officials ready with subpoenas in Trump hotel case

The emoluments case marches on
With subpoenas to prove Donald’s con.
May the DC’s A.G.
And Maryland’s be
A success v. our President/Don.

Trump’s Need To Be Number 1 Pays Off: He’s Mueller’s “Individual 1” (Limerick)

Sunday, December 2nd, 2018

Headline: “In Mueller investigation, Trump is now ‘Individual 1’

“Individual Número 1”
(Adding “number” in Spanish for fun.)
The Donald’s been “named”
In Fed court filings, blamed
For some felonies. Donald’s undone!

Trump’s Need To Be Number 1 Pays Off: He’s Mueller’s “Individual 1” (Limerick)

GOP Course Correction? Of Course Not! (Limerick)

Sunday, December 2nd, 2018

Headline: “Despite Big House Losses, G.O.P. Shows No Signs of Course Correction

Course correction is NOT being planned
By Republican pols, though their brand
Has been sullied by kissing
Trump’s ass. They are missing
Their balls and remaining unmanned.

Border Surge Stunt (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

Trump’s surge on the border’s a stunt.
He did it as part of his hunt
For votes and support,
Using fear to exhort
His base, keeping bias up front.

Golfer-In-Chief Trump (Limerick)

Monday, November 26th, 2018

In the course of election-month drama,
Trump had scant time for golf — what a trauma!
Donald’s golf time was sparse
In November — poor arse —
So he managed to tie Prez Obama.

(Inspired by this Washington Post Headline.)