Archive for the ‘Election Satire’ Category

Pence Ain’t A Saint (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 29th, 2022

Headline: “Pence: ‘We must not rest’ until abortion is outlawed in every state”

On One/Six, Pence behaved like a man;
He helped scuttle Trump’s scurrilous plan.
But enough with the praise!
Re abortion, he’d raze
Women’s rights with a nationwide ban.

My Roe v. Wade Rant (2-Verse Limerick)

Friday, June 24th, 2022

Five SCOTUS extremists decreed
In a dastardly GOP screed
That Roe v. Wade’s dead.
So it’s “Off with her head”
For pro-choicers, no matter the need.

If you value our lost right to choose,
You must vote; forget whining and booze.
Your life’s on the line!
Dump the GOP swine
And make sure all Republicans lose!

Elon’s Musky Madness (Limerick)

Tuesday, April 26th, 2022

There’s a new Social Media threat
Making fans of democracy fret:
Under Musk, Trumpy lies
And misinfo will rise;
A calamitous “Net” blow — net-net.

A Riot Of A Story (Limerick)

Saturday, January 15th, 2022

Here’s the hilarious (and true) inspiration for my latest limerick:

Headline: “Capitol rioters called Nancy Pelosi’s office looking for a ‘lost and found’ for items they left behind on January 6, according to Rep. Jamie Raskin”

With the Capitol Building defaced,
Some One/Sixers departed in haste.
I must ask: Were they stoned
When post-riot they phoned
Pelosi for stuff they’d misplaced?

Fast Talker Jim Jordan Won’t Talk (Limerick)

Monday, January 10th, 2022

Headline: “Jan. 6 panel fires back at Jordan over refusal to cooperate”

Said Jim Jordan, I’ve “nothing to hide.”
But it seems he apparently lied;
He’s declined to comply
With the One/Six probe. Why?
I suspect that he’s fit to be tried.

Insurrection Blues (2-Verse Limerick)

Sunday, January 2nd, 2022

We commemorate One/Six this week,
A day that’s both somber and bleak.
Though we greet it with sadness,
Trump basks in its madness.
Wreaking havoc’s his goal, so he’ll speak.

Trump is NOT at all through with his coup,
So he’ll keep spouting things that ain’t true.
For that man with no soul
Has an ace in the hole:
Clueless boosters who’ll back what he’ll spew.

Political Haiku Trio 2

Saturday, January 1st, 2022

A resolution
for GOPers to try:
Stop Being Such Dicks!

Nixing worthy laws
To preserve filibuster?
Hope for us busted.

Donald Trump invents
Conditional Endorsement:
“Avenge me, or else!”

Political Haiku Trio 1

Friday, December 31st, 2021

Is Joe President?
That depends on who you ask.
Democracy weeps.

Right-wing Justices:
“When we like what the State does,
States’ Rights must prevail.”

If the unvaxxed die,
And allies don’t believe it,
Are they really dead?

Dear Dems: DO Something! (Limerick)

Thursday, November 4th, 2021

The shellacking the Dems got this week
Means they’re weak and need more than a tweak.
What they’re doing ain’t working.
Disaster is lurking!
If the Dems don’t shape up, I shall freak.

Marjorie Greene v. Lin Wood (Limerick)

Tuesday, October 12th, 2021

Headline: “QAnon Stars Lin Wood and Marjorie Taylor Greene Battle in EPIC FEUD After Wood Calls Greene a Commie for the Most Insane Reason”

I’m amused by the Greene v. Wood feud:
Crazy gal versus lunatic dude!
“Impeach Biden,” she said,
Which made Lin Wood see red:
That implies “that he won,” mad Wood booed.

Trump-Sycophant McCarthy Can’t Handle The Truth (Limerick)

Wednesday, July 21st, 2021

Headline: “McCarthy pulls his 5 GOP members from 1/6 committee after Pelosi rejects 2 of his picks”

When McCarthy named Jordan and Banks
To the One/Six Committee, “No thanks!”
Was the answer he got
And WANTED; his plot
Was to pull his five picks from the ranks.

Republican Quandary (Limerick)

Tuesday, July 6th, 2021

Headline: “GOP 2024 hopefuls face challenge: Not upsetting Trump”

“The Hill” tells us something we know
About GOP prez-hopefuls’ woe:
They must NOT rile the prickly
Ex-prez, yet act quickly.
Avoid venom from Trump? Ho, ho, ho!

NYC’s Board Of Elections Blows It Again (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 30th, 2021

Headline: “New York Mayor’s Race in Chaos After Elections Board Counts 135,000 Test Ballots”

New York’s contest for mayor’s been thrown
Into chaos; its tally’s been blown
By The Board of Elections,
Whose ballot corrections
Will be tainted — the truth deemed unknown.

Trump’s Revenge Tour (Limerick)

Monday, June 28th, 2021

Headline: “Trump’s revenge tour begins with eyes on one Ohio Republican”

Boorish Trump’s seeking vengeance on tour.
His goal? Instill fear and ensure
That the pols who defied him
And dare to deride him
Are shunned, cast aside like manure.

Joe Manchin’s Quest (Limerick)

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2021

Opinion Headline: “Joe Manchin’s ‘help wanted’ ad: 10 reasonable Republicans”

Manchin’s quest is for something that’s rare:
10 Republicans, decent and fair.
While I wish Manchin luck
And admire his pluck,
He’ll be stuck in the muck of despair.

My Primary Problem (Limerick)

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2021

It’s Primary Day here, and so…
It is off to the polls we must go.
But these ballots are weird;
Far worse than I feared!
Ranked choice voting? I’d rather vote “NO!”

Trump’s Latest Lie (Limerick)

Thursday, June 3rd, 2021

Reinstatement will happen this year
In August, claims Trump. So I fear
That derangement won’t end
And our nation can’t mend
While treachery’s still his career.

Limerick Ode To Kevin McCarthy

Monday, May 10th, 2021

Headline: “Kevin McCarthy is pushing Liz Cheney out for saying almost exactly what he said after January 6”

Kev McCarthy’s politically hollow;
There is only one person he’ll follow,
And it’s scam-meister Trump!
You won’t ass-kiss that lump?
That’s one “crime” Kev refuses to swallow.

Trump’s Donation Scam (Limerick)

Monday, April 5th, 2021

Headline: “How Trump Steered Supporters Into Unwitting Donations”

Donald Trump raked in money; a mint
From his fans, who had nary a hint
Of the sums they had given.
To shock they were driven
By boxes (pre-checked) and small print.

The Meddling “Former Guy” (Limerick)

Thursday, March 4th, 2021

“Republicans are sounding the alarm that his attempts to meddle in primaries could hurt the party’s efforts to win back the majority”

GOPers are worried and fretting;
They’re afraid that Trump’s meddling’s abetting
The Dems in the House.
For they bet on a louse,
Whose candidate picks have them sweating.