Poor Donald! Inaug’ral arenas
Can’t lure stars. (Time to laugh like hyenas.)
Even B-Street Band’s bailed!
Here’s my modest proposal: Subpoenas!
Archive for the ‘Election Satire’ Category
Poor Donald! Inaug’ral arenas
“With charity for none and with malice toward all but his supporters, [Trump] has in the past two months set a new standard for gracelessness in victory.”
It’s apparent that Trump is a sinner
And a lying, conniving tale spinner.
But the oddest of all
His misdeeds, large and small,
Is that Trump’s a ginormous sore winner.
Those who claim my election’s illicit,
Saying I’m with V. Putin complicit,
Are misplacing their scorn;
Donald Trump’s native born,
Unlike Bar! So my ass? You can kiss it!
There’s an ad with a rather odd twist;
A GOP health ad, whose gist
Is the plan that replaces
What a shame such plan DOESN’T exist.
The American Action Network, a conservative advocacy group linked to House GOP leadership, is running an ad claiming that an unidentified Republican “plan will create a health insurance system that has ‘more choices,’ ‘better care,’ and ‘lower costs’ than the ACA.”
You can watch the BS ad here.
My latest limerick was inspired by the stark differences between Trump’s signature campaign promises and the positions of his Cabinet picks.
While under the hearing lights’ glare
Donald’s picks make it clear they don’t share
Major policy views
With their prez. Does he snooze
Through their shmoozes … or simply not care?
There’s a U.S. reality gap,
Where actual facts are deemed pap
And derided as lies.
It’s time to get wise
And arise from our nightmarish nap.
In the meantime we’re haplessly trapped;
Our nation’s been kidnapped and zapped
By a fellow whose con
Has allowed him to don
The cloak of great power, untapped.
A Department of Energy? Why?
I forget what it’s called, but goodbye!
That was Rick Perry’s view.
Now the “Oops!” guy’s Trump’s new
Pick to lead it. Are both fellows high?
Trump’s interview on Chris Wallace’s Fox News Sunday is beyond belief, even for Trump. Hence this limerick:
Poor Donald! That fellow’s rejected
Deals worth billions, since Trump’s been elected.
Int’rest conflicts? No way!
He avoids them each day.
What a wall of deceit he’s erected!
‘Avoid boosting the minimum wage!’
‘New regs to help workers ain’t sage!’
Hardy views from Trump’s pick
For Labor, a dick
Named Puzder. Cue populist rage!
Some progressives are savaging Gore
And giving the guy a what for.
What drum are they beating?
Al’s climate change meeting
With Donald is making them sore.
His attempting to give Trump a clue
And guide him on what he should do
Is wrong, so they say;
He should wish Trump away–
Not legitimize prez you-know-who.
To progressives who take this position,
There’s no reason to fault Al Gore’s mission;
Yes, the Donald is vile!
But it STILL is worth while
To attempt to improve Trump’s cognition.
Add Paul Ryan to the long list of Republicans who are just fine with a GOP president who constantly lies:
“‘I have no way of backing that up,’ Paul Ryan says about President-elect Trump’s tweet claiming millions of Americans voted illegally. ‘It doesn’t matter to me. He won the election.’”
Ryan shrugs at Trump’s lies and tall tales.
For instance, when Trump falsely wails
That sham votes by the mil
Were counted for Hill,
Says Ryan: Trump won. All else pales!
Though he promised with fervor and pomp
That as prez he’d be draining the swamp,
There’s no dredging in sight;
Just corruption and blight,
As Trump’s cronies and billionaires romp.
Lately I’ve been seeing posts by “Bernie or Buster” Jill Stein supporters whining about the horror that is Donald Trump.
Seems to me they should have thought of that just a wee bit sooner.
Dear “Bernie or Busters” don’t whine
About Trump and the fact he’s a swine.
Your bitching should halt,
Cuz Trump’s win is YOUR FAULT!
Hope your “conscience” is happy with Stein.
Donald’s conflicts of int’rest abound,
And his acts of self-dealing confound.
The “swamp” is Trump’s playground;
Get richer, crush prey-ground.
In Trump-sewage, democracy’s drowned.
Trump asserts that he really did win
The popular vote. That’s his spin.
It would seem Trump has blundered:
His claim ‘votes were plundered’
Makes recount objections sound thin.
Trump supporters have made this demand:
“Respect Trump as the prez of our land.”
Yes give Donald his due:
That same “honor” he threw
At Barack — just deserts for Trump’s brand.
Can humor survive Trump’s election?
Wit doesn’t mix well with dejection.
But it weathered the pain
Of the Bush/Cheney reign,
So let’s hope for a short-lived defection.
Prez Obama, the way they’ve behaved
Means the Senate has tacitly waived
Its advice/consent right
Re Judge Garland, so fight
And appoint him. That seat can be saved.
Sure the Senate will probably sue
And deem it some sort of a coup.
But it’s still wise to try,
Cuz the courts may just buy
Your contention. It’s worth the ado.