Posts Tagged ‘Justice Department’

A Plea Deal For Donald? Don’t Even Think About It! (Limerick)

Friday, August 11th, 2023

Headlines like this drive me nuts: “Is It Possible Trump Will Strike a Plea Deal to Avoid Prison?”

A plea deal for Trump? That’s just mad!
Speculation like that’s simply sad.
Any pact he might make,
He would instantly break!
Trump’s a slippery snake of a cad.

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Whining For Time (Limerick)

Monday, August 7th, 2023

“Trump’s defense needs more time!” That’s the plea
From John Lauro, last week in DC.
But the judge should be tough,
Cuz oddly enough
John had time for “full Ginsburg” TV.

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Smith v. Trump (Limerick)

Friday, August 4th, 2023

Though Donald’s the lowest of low,
His infamy slide’s been too slow.
But the courts are all humming,
And justice is coming;
Trump’s finally battling a pro.

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Donald Trump’s Finally Trumped (Limerick)

Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023

Another indictment’s been filed,
And Donald’s both anxious and riled
And undoubtedly frightened.
The vise has been tightened,
And law shall prevail! (“Will be wild!”)

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Trump’s “Delete The Server” Woes (Limerick)

Friday, July 28th, 2023

Security footage begone!
Ordered Trump, like a mafia don.
Said a tech in IT:
I can’t do it. Not me!
And so Trump is a soon-to-be con.

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Hope, At Last? (2-Verse Limerick)

Thursday, June 15th, 2023

The Donald has many a flaw;
For instance, contempt for the law.
Then there’s meanness and greed
And his self-centered creed.
Plus he lies with each flap of his jaw.

So our household is filled with excitement
Over Donald Trump’s fed’ral indictment.
He at last just might pay
For his crimes. Till that day,
I shall savor my dream with delightment.

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Limerick Ode To Trump’s Federal Indictment

Saturday, June 10th, 2023

Trump’s fed’ral indictment’s a beaut,
Packed with facts very hard to dispute.
He may fin’ly be nailed
And at long last be jailed!
(In the meantime, he’ll raise tons of loot.)

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2-Verse Limerick Ode To Donald “Won’t Partake” Trump

Sunday, November 20th, 2022

Since a Trump Special Counsel’s been named
By Garland, the AG’s been blamed
For political smears,
While Trump and his peers
Keep claiming he’s framed and defamed.

Trump insists that he will not “partake”
In the probe, for that treacherous snake
Thinks it makes him sound tough,
As he struggles to slough
Off his fears. Yes, he knows what’s at stake.

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Trump’s Fixer (Bill Barr) Does It Again (2-Verse Limerick)

Tuesday, February 11th, 2020

Two-Verse Limerick for Dueling Headlines:

Headline 1: “Trump Denounces Proposed Sentence for Roger Stone”

Headline 2: “Justice Department undercuts own prosecutors on Trump ally Stone’s sentencing”

The dictator’s at it once more,
Ably aided by Barr; ev’ry chore
Donald orders, Barr does
Why’s he do it? Becuz
They’re both scoundrels and vile to their core.

Barr forgets he’s our nation’s AG,
That his oath’s NOT to Donald, you see,
So when Donald Trump tweeted
That Stone’s been mistreated,
Fixer-Barr fulfills Donald’s decree.

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Bracing For Barr’s Mueller Report Whitewash (Limerick)

Monday, April 15th, 2019

Headline: “Mueller Report Coming on Thursday”

Though the “Mueller Report” soon’s a-coming,
Many Sharpies are busily humming
With redactions galore;
A “blackwash” full-bore!
Thanks to Barr, through a sham we’ll be thumbing.

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Open Limerick To William Barr

Sunday, April 14th, 2019

Dear Bill Barr, you have gone very far,
And your rep once was well above par.
But like most who have deigned
To join Trump, you’ve been stained;
Tainted, marred by a sycophant’s scar.

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Christie’s Trump Endorsement: A Limerick Explanation

Friday, February 26th, 2016

Cads who covet the top Justice job,
Will endorse any vile, nasty slob,
Whose Oval campaign’s
Making gains, which explains
Why Trump’s been endorsed by “The Blob.”

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Limerick Ode To AG Loretta Lynch

Thursday, June 18th, 2015

Yesterday was a big day for Loretta Lynch. She was formally sworn in as U.S. Attorney General … and she joined Twitter.

So after two back-to-back Donald Trump limericks, I felt the need for some cleansing with this limerick:

To Loretta Lynch, welcome! It’s clear
From your singular, brilliant career
That you’re tough and yet fair;
About justice you care,
Never flinching from trials. Hear, hear!

I even posted it on Twitter yesterday, a couple of hours after she joined. Of course I had to alter it a bit, due to Twitter’s annoying 140 character limit. Here’s how it appeared on my Twitter feed:

2 @LorettaLynch wlcm! I cheer
Ur singular brilliant career.
Ur tough & yet fair.
Re justice u care,
Never flinching from trials. Hear, hear!

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Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

A right-winger has to go pretty far to be criticized by both the left and the right. But Liz Cheney and her Keep America Safe organization have managed to do it with their McCarthy-like attacks on U.S. Justice Department lawyers, smearing and demonizing them as terrorist sympathizers for their previous legal work defending Gitmo detainees.

This brings me to my latest two-verse limerick:

Liz Cheney: Chip Off The Old Crock
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Has Cheney gone stark raving mad?
I’m speaking of Liz — not her dad.
Now even some peers
Are attacking her smears
As McCarthy-like. Talk about sad!

When her natural allies cry foul,
She’s applying her lies with a trowel.
If she fails to give in
And fess up to her sin,
She’ll end up with a Dick Cheney scowl.

Related Posts: Liz Cheney’s Song and Ode To The Deceitful Cheneys

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Posted in Campaign Humor, Dick Cheney Satire, Election Satire, Gitmo Humor, GOP Humor, Law Satire, Legal Limericks, Liz Cheney, Media Satire, Political Limericks, Political Verse, Politics Satire, Terrorism, White House, Wingnuts | 4 Comments »